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Tonight: The Last FARSCAPE Ever!!

I am – Hercules!!

SciFi’s little muppets in space goodtime hour is done tonight! Learn how it ends:

1. “Altoids Girl”:

Apologies for the cursing. I'm a bit *sniff* emotional.

Farscape 4x22 -Bad Timing.

Ok. First off, no TV show has ever made me cry when news of its cancellation came about. Sure, I'm a girl, teary-eyed drama queen is supposed to be our 'thing' but when they announced the cancellation of X-Files I didn't bat an eye, when Star Trek the Next Generation (my first true love) was cancelled it didn't bother me, when Buffy was recently announced I shrugged my shoulders. These were all shows that some would say I had been deeply involved with at one point or another but it never felt like *this*. This...this is just SUCKS.

Sure it had muppets, sure it had questionable tastes, but goddamnit Farscape was a show with a *story* a true story that was carried out, each season a chapter, each episode the next page. It flowed, it connected and most importantly it worked. And now, goddamnit, the "To Be Continued" tag doesn't mean a long hot summer spent snurching spoilers of the net. No, now it ends "-in your dreams."

Let me just say it, just get it out there: Sci Fi fucked us over.

It's that simple. Anyone that catches this episode will understand how undeniably cruel it was to cancel the show this season, to cancel the show with out anychance of finishing the story. One would argue after viewing this episode that the story is finished: Earth *is* save, John and Aeryn have an ending, the majority of the B-plots are wrapped up, everyone is together again...


I'm not going to spoil the end, you can find it on countless blogs and countless messageboards, bemoaning the end of their favorite show. It's a Farscape ending to end all Farscape endings. But its best to go into it unspoiled, best to enjoy the last hour of one of the most human science fiction shows to grace the television screen.

These were characters I -we- cared about, characters that were more human than the Captain Kirks and the Mulders and Scullys. This was Farscape and now its over and goddamn if I'm going to bother with Sci Fi again.

What do I have to say about this episode? It wasn't perfect, but it painfully hit all the points it needed, and strangely, parralled what is going on at Sci Fi at the moment.

What do I really think of this episode?

Four words: Fuck. You. Sci. Fi.


2. “DrunkStan”:

Hi Herc

Here's a final review of Farscape with minor spoilers

Farscape 4.22 - Bad Timing

Boy, are the Sci-Fi channel gonna get it for this one. I sense American scapers will be up in arms, much like their UK counterparts, who clogged up the BBC's message boards and crashed a few servers when this beauty aired back on the 10th March. It's a roller coaster ride, that's truly exceptional TV and hotter than 'Hot to Katratzi'. If this isn't Emmy nominated, then quality TV is truly dead. And I'm not just saying that because it's the last one - this episode had EVERYTHING. Nail biting action, special effects, poignancy, and ups and downs. Watch it. Even with an ending that will leave you shocked.

Let's talk about the ending (NO SPOILERS). David Kemper (Executive Producer) has always written episodes that are hard to predict and he obviously enjoys playing with the expectations of viewers. That's why the cliffhanger ending is not what you would logically expect, but instead comes at you, in the last 2 minutes, out of the blue, and violently slogs you in the guts. Imagine if had just seen the Emmy-nominated Star Trek episode, 'The Best of Both Worlds Part 1' (which is exceptional TV - exciting, fast paced, good action and characterisation). At the end, when Riker gives the order to fire on Picard, as he knows that it is his last chance to stop the Borg, the music reaches a crescendo, and 'To be Continued' appears on the screen. Now imagine, if Paramount had turned round to it's legions of Star Trek fans and said 'Right, fuck you. That's all you're getting', and left it at that. How annoyed would you be? I'm not saying this to put you off watching this episode, but BE PREPARED!

So what's the scoop? The Scarrens, obviously annoyed at John, send a ship to find the wormhole that leads to Earth, to cause damage and replenish their stocks of the flower that they need to survive. The message to this ship is intercepted and Scorpius offers John a deal to again side with the PeaceKeepers, to protect his world, which he rejects by shooting Scorpy into space. Instead he comes up with a plan to close the wormhole itself, and requires Pilot's help before the Scarrens get there first. However, this requires something quite radical to be done……….

What's good? A lot! John and Harvey's fight as the Easter bunny. Pilot's and Chiana's radical steps to ensure the plan works. John's last phone call. Aeryn and John's conversation. Scorpy and Sikozu's sexual kinkiness. Rygel's cynicism. Pacing. Dialogue. Special effects. Excitement. This is better than the season 2 cliff-hanger, 'Die me, Dichotomy', and just as uncompromising.

What's bad? Obviously, new story arcs are left dangling with the potential to do more. Stark is underused. Oh, and THAT ending. Well, to tell the truth it's not bad in any conventional or critical sense, just indescribable. Words fail me. The last scream is quite unnerving and haunting. However, there does seem to be a glimmer of hope.

Well, got to up and leave, because I have many letters to write. If you are true Farscape fan, then no doubt, you will swiftly follow suit. It's enough to drive a man to drink.


3. “Dark Avenger”:

Farscape 4.22 FAQ

What's it called?

"Bad Timing"

What does TV Guide say?

"Now safely back on Moya, Crichton (Ben Browder) learns of the Scarrans’ intention to invade Earth. He feverishly analyzes his wormhole data and comes up with a way to collapse the wormhole to Earth – but the method is not one that he can implement alone. Meanwhile, Braca (David Franklin) demands Scorpius (Wayne Pygram) be released from Moya and returned safely to his Command Carrier – and Aeryn (Claudia Black) has a few surprises of her own, including the identity of her baby’s father."

So this is the absolute final episode of the show?

Yes. Maybe. Who knows? Unless someone with very deep pockets shows up at the last minute proclaiming his/her love for all things Farscape, this will be the swansong of one of the greatest Sci-Fi series ever to grace our television screens.

Frell. So was this show written with the knowledge that it would indeed be the show's final chapter?

Alas, no. Having said that, however, there are some lovely touches throughout this edition which would not have been out of place in a planned series finale.

Such as?

The return of Crichton's dictaphone, last season in the episode 'Family Ties', as he records a message for his Father, which just happens to start with the immortal words, "My name is John Crichton, an astronaut..........." Also, the 'previously' montage at the beginning of the show highlights footage from pretty much every episode that has passed.

So what's up with the Scarran invasion of Earth plan?

John's unfortunate slip of the tongue during last week's installment regarding the Scarran's beloved flowers being a dime a dozen back on Earth comes back to haunt him. The only way to stop them? Collapse the wormhole to Earth.

Sounds big. How does one go about collapsing a wormhole?

Duh. Try piercing the bubble which is formed around the event horizon just prior to its opening. Only problem is, only Pilot can see it in time for the plan to have a chance of succeeding and Moya's going nowhere.

Say no more. So where's Scorpius when all this is going down?

Back safe and sound on the Command Carrier. Wining and dining with Sikozu while Grayza is sedated and out of the proverbial picture. Not that he doesn't offer to help, mind you.

Any big questions answered in the final few moments?

Yeah, although I had thought that the writer's were building up to something bigger than this regarding Aeryn's unborn child.

The good?

John opening a can of Easter Bunny-style whoop-ass on Harvey. The heart-breaking goodbye sequence from the Earth to the Moon. The romantic scene on the boat in the closing seconds.......that horrible, wretched scene which will stay in my memory for months to come.

The bad?

The fact that so many considerably inferior shows are allowed to continue when something as wonderful as this is ended before its time.

How does it end?

John and Aeryn share their final kiss.

4. “Charlie & Tex”:



“Finally, on Farscape…”

These words, delivered by Ben Browder, appear before a rapid montage of shots from every episode of Farscape produced, and they herald the last episode of the show.

Following on from the climactic We’re So Screwed story, it is revealed in a pre-credit sequence that throws so much new information at you that it seems to make little sense, the Scarrens have the location of the wormhole that leads directly to Earth. Scorpius and Sikozu have found their way back to the Bracca’s command carrier and Crichton is once again in their sights. Their reason for massing upon the small blue/green planet somewhere in the unfashionable western spiral arm of the galaxy is because Crichton mentioned that the plant he destroyed in the previous episode grows in abundance there.

Their only hope of preventing the Scarrans from invading is to open a wormhole, stay within the invisible bubble it generates, wait a while, and reverse course back through it and the bubble will burst, causing the wormhole to collapse it on itself permanently. The knock on of this plan is that it will destroy the uniting Earth, as it will ruin any chances of space-travel via wormhole technology.

Pilot is persuaded to be transplanted into the one of the smaller ships and fly through the wormhole, as he is the only person who can perform the split-second maneuvers needed to complete the mission successfully. When they reach the Earth-side of the wormhole, Crichton lands on the moon’s Serenity Base, where his father landed all those years ago. Crichton then bizarrely calls his father, Jack’s mobile and informs him of the plan. Reluctantly, Jack is forced to accept the plan and the two say poignant farewells to each other and the plan is put into operation.

As there is not Pilot to control her, Moya is reliant upon the unbalanced Stark to ensure her survival whilst the desperate plan is in effect, although Stark is unable to cope with all processing all of the information and Chiana steps in to assist and is left blind for her troubles.

When the plan to destroy the wormhole is initiated, Crichton & co did not count on a Scarran ship flying toward them in the wormhole, as the bubble is burst, the two ships pass through each other with very different outcomes.

The final scene sees Moya floating in a lake recuperating from the trauma of having Pilot surgically removed from her, not to mention having the shit blown out of her by a Scarran warship. Crichton & Aeyrn are sitting in a boat (God knows where they found it) in front of the floating Leviathan and Aeryn reveals the identity of the father of her now-developing unborn child. As with most things in life, when things finally seem to be going their way, something comes out of the sky and blows their happiness out of the water…

So this is it, then..?

We have been working at this review off & on for the last 24 hours. It’s funny, but the finality of it all is only just sinking in and, quite frankly, it is very depressing. We’ve watched episodic television most of our lives and when a series ends, it’s not that big a deal. Having said that, with Farscape, it has been very different. This isn’t another tired sci-fi show like the more recent Star Treks, where by the end, you were kinda glad that it was over, or something that started off OK, but got worse as it went on like Andromeda. Farscape was very different – you could feel that this was made by people who actually gave a shit and that this was a cast that was as enthusiastic about the show as the fans.

It may be a tired old clich鬠but Farscape truly was a breath of fresh air in the stale world of episodic televisual science fiction. We sheepishly admit that when we watched the first episode, we HATED it with a passion – it was so obvious that it was shot in Australia and the opening scenes set in America looked so unconvincing, that we thought that the show must have been shot on the cheap, coupled with the fact that it had the Henson named attached to it, we thought that it was going to be some lightweight kiddie-fodder.

The show started out with that that old timer of a story arc, one of the main storylines - the avenging of the accidental death of a main character’s brother – in this case it was Crais doing the avenging – luckily they ditched that in favour of having Crais become an ally and bringing in a more sinister villain in the shape of Scorpius. As the show went on, it became clear that its refusal to conform to formula was one of Farscape’s key strengths. At times, the sense of disbelief was shattered when a recognisable face from an Antipodean soap opera would appear in a guest role (then again, Paul Goddard who plays Stark was in Coronation Street for a while), but this happened in LOTR & Attack of the Clones.

During this episode, there is a sense that this is the end of the road. There are numerous storylines wrapped up, Crichton & Aeryn are finally together without Scorpius spying on their every actions and all seems right with the universe. The final scene that sees D’Argo relaying all the actions taking place in Crichton & Aeryn’s boat to the now-blind Chiana is both amusing and touching. It is a shame that the shock ending had to take place, as without it, would have been an ideal closer to the series – sadly they put it in, making the end a real bummer. The “To Be Continued” caption was probably kept as a way of trying to keep interest high in getting the show recomissioned. As the ends titles roll, there is just the sound of a gentle breeze, which is only disrupted by the sound of Moya making her final flight into the distance.

As well as this being the end of Farscape, this is also Charlie & Tex bowing out gracefully as reviewers – so you guys in the US, revel in the last two episodes to come, as it is most unlikely that you will ever see anything like this again.

Charlie & Tex out…

I am – Hercules!!

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