Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Our reviewer was going to write a trailer... but then he got high. He was gonna include every little detail... but then he got high. His review jumps all over the place, and I know why... because he got high, because he got high, because he got hiiiiiiigh... la da da da da...
Yo Harry, Moriarty, and the rest of you --
Tonight I caught a screening of How High. I’m not really sure when it’s going to be in the theaters, but –as for tonight – the report shall come in the form of a trailer - maybe it's because I recently saw the r-rated trailer for that teen movie that isn't or maybe it's because I want to procrastinate or maybe it's because I THINK that it'll be a little more interesting than explaining my entire day leading up to the screening as i sat in my evil laboratory blah blah blah. Here it goes:
**Corporate Logo**
Black Screen
Trailer Guy says:
IN A WORLD FILLED WITH "IMPORTANT" MOVIES AND SCI-FI FLOPS, TWO MEN HAVE FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU REMEMBER WHY THE MOVIES CAN BE FUN... TWO MEN WANT TO GET YOU HIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHH.
Okay, wait, this is going to take too long. Maybe I'll just give up my creative writing dreams and just so with the damned story. Here's the pitch:
MethodMan and Redman smoke some magical weed. They get into Harvard. And hijinks ensue.
The concept alone would probably send me to the theater with a one-hitter in hand, ready to forget my troubles and strife. But I didn't know what I was in store for. I was stone-cold sober and I fuckin' laughed my ass off. Now, I'm not going to pretend that I've been a HUGE fan of either of the two rappers or of WuTang Clan -- I know their music and I know that the MTV Cribs with Redman cracked my shit up (he took the cameras around some shithole apartment, pretending that it was his). But, I'll be damned if these guys aren't pretty damned amazing (shit, I used "damned" twice in one sentence). Between the two of them, there's enough charisma on the screen to fill 10 movies, but it's all there - in this one package (I sound like I'm about to sell food dehydrators). So, here's a tiny bit more detail: MethodMan plays Silas - a resourceful guy, making a killing with his... uhh... botanical skills... but with pressure to get into college. His friend is pushing him to take the college admission tests (in this case, they're the THCs). A few unfortunate and fucking hilarious scenes later (awww, hell, I'll just tell you: In a spirited profession of his friendship, the friend offers to get Silas' back even if he catches on fire or gets hit by a bus... so, as fate has it, he gets set on fire and gets hit by a bus and STILL makes good on his offer), the friend helps Silas (and his new friend, Jamal: a guy who has spent 6 years in a 2 year community college) get perfect scores. They get offers from everywhere. But Harvard is the choice (fuck, if Fred Willard offered ME the chance to go to the college where he was the Dean, I'd be there too). They get there and the movie gets out of the solely weed-toking humor and into the Silas and Jamal turn Harvard inside out sort of humor. I'm actually pretty happy that I saw the early version of the movie at the screening 'cuz I'm just waiting for the ratings board to rip this to pieces (if they do, i beg the studio to let everyone see this version). I hope the donkey stays, I hope the weed stays (how could it not), I hope the bitch-slappin' stays, I hope the guy with his two inches of manhood still gets laid, and I really hope the insightful discussions between a pimp and his assistant stays. There is too much shit to say - none of which my writing will do any justice. Just know that this rivals (and, I think, exceeds) Friday, Up In Smoke, and The TV Guide Channel for the best thing to watch while high... or just when you need to turn off your thinking and have fucking great time(actually, you NEED to be high to really appreciate the TV Guide Channel - try it, you'll be mesmerized for hours).
Look, this isn't going to be an Academy movie. But I'll go out on a limb to say that it's a really good comedy. I'm sure that the music will be amazing (it was temp). If you like that stuff, you'll love this - Cypress Hill also makes an appearance. If you're looking for something that is the heir to the gross-out comedy throne left vacant by the Farelly Brothers, this is it.
If I were a wise-ass critic, I'd use quotes like "How High gives you a Contact High!" or some shit lke that. But I won't. I'll just say I laughed my ass off -- it was a great surprise in the middle of the week. Okay, I'm slipping into my food dehydrator talk again, so I'm going to leave it at that.
Thanks for your patience while I found my not-so-creative voice, I'm going to grab my honey bear now.
ShuggieBear
