QT5: Sex & Violence Night: SLAUGHTER HOTEL, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO SOLANGE' and LOADED GUNS!!!

Sex & Violence Night

Tonight the whole deal got off to a rather strange Mexican Wrestling motif as a board member from the Austin Film Society took the stage in a Mexican Wrestling Mask to boost Film Society Memberships and sales of t-shirts and mugs… There was something vaguely disturbing about a white guy in a Mexican Wrestler mask… It didn’t really match up, it kind of felt more like ‘bring out the gimp’. But well, that’s perfect for SEX & VIOLENCE Night.

Soon as El Santo Wannabe departed, Quentin took the stage to tell us all about the European Grindhouse scene that produced sexy movies with tons of violence. As well as violent movies with tons of sex. "Sex & Violence are two great tastes that taste great together. And as Captain Kirk said the other night, ‘We are not here to judge the wisdom of these at these proceedings.’"

First up would be Fernando Di Leo’s exploration of the Horror/Slasher Genre called SLAUGHTER HOTEL. "This is one of those Mental Hospital Killer films, and I really don’t like that whole MADHOUSE/ASYLUM genre of films. Sam Fuller made one called SHOCK CORRIDOR and ya know, it really isn’t one of my favorite Fuller films. In fact THIS MOVIE is probably my favorite Asylum genre film and reason is… Really… well…. It’s really hot"

The film features Klaus Kinski as the doctor, which strikes me as hilarious because Kinski was always borderline insane in everything I ever saw him in.

Then there was Margaret Lee. "No back in this time period if you were a Bond Girl, your career was set. All you had to do was appear somewhere in a Bond movie and you could turn that into gold because at this time there was no other franchise as big internationally as Bond… That was it. And noone worked it quite like Margaret Lee. She became the Queen of Italian Spy Movie Bond Ripoffs, she made like 40 or 50 of them!"

Next we went on to: "Rosalba Neri was the prettiest girl of the Spaghetti Western movies. She had made like 25 Spaghetti Westerns written by Fernando Di Leo, and now this was her first chance to be directed by him. And she is sexy as all fucking hell! She was often the best thing about the bad movies she made as well as the good ones. Often times she’d be the only point of interest and she wasn’t shy about taking her clothes off if you get my meaning. She plays the Sex Crazed Maniac in this one and I just think y’all are really going to love her…"

And then it was time to start the run of trailers…

THE CHRISTINE JORGENSEN STORY - aka when Massawyrm shaves, oops, did I type that… hehehe…

THE STEPMOTHER – "She had an appetite for innocence" "All she wanted was her husband’s son"

THE KILLING OF SISTER GEORGE - This trailer kicked so much ass. CLICK HERE TO SEE IT!!! Seriously this trailer was just disarming!

THE HOT BOX – "Ravaged… Savaged… Brutalized… Terror… Love… Violence… Revenge"

THE WILD RIDERS – "Products of a turned off generation!"

ANGELS DIE HARD – "Hot Blooded Machines and Hopped Up Women!" "KILL THE PIGS! KILL THE PIGS! KILL THE PIGS!" Grindhouse Biker Flick from Hell!

THE HITCHHIKERS – "They’re the girls that put the Gip in Gypsies!"

GROUP MARRIAGE – "Where the possibilities go on and on and on and on and on and on….."

THE SECRETARY – "This movie must be seen by every husband and wife…. …only not together!"

Then the Movie Began… SLAUGHTER HOTEL isn’t a really great movie, but it is a lot of fun… and it is sexy as hell. The girls in Slaughter Hotel fucking rule, and since that’s the key point of issue here… well that and the violence… and the violence was great too… Well, who cares about plot or characters anyway… we’re here for the SEX & VIOLENCE.

Ok, point of interest… This movie is a mainline to the male libido. There was something to turn on just about every guy in the house and some of the gals as well. Personally I loved this one sexy red headed seductress lesbian nurse. She just oozed sex. From the wet wet lipstick she wore into a carnal smile, to those black-eye-lined eyes with those big curious sensual eyes… That ivory ivory skin… She was the bomb in my world. Her scenes with the French Moroccan Black Chick were hot. Not because they were showing everything… they weren’t, but because while her hand was doing things off camera her face was just a mirror of sensuality. The bathtub scene and the massage scene and the dance scene come to mind. This was a real "Helllooooooo Nurse" character.

That Rosalba Neri lady that Quentin was going on about? Well, she craved sex from anything and everything. She’s the slut goddess of the film, hell even when the killer comes for her, she wants to fuck. Disabled by horniness. And she has the best female outfit that I’ve seen this festival… This slinky chains and black number that just… yummy. She is probably also the gal with the best all around body in this film, but that Nurse just had a face to kill for.

Margaret Lee was really a non-entity in this for me. She and Klaus Kinski just never hit it off for me, probably because watching Kinski, I just get the idea that he’d be more turned on by shit in a plastic bag. That guy is just weird.

The lovely Dorothy Parker started having a Pavlovian Joy Buzz go off when a strange fellow went around finishing off the drinks from a party room in the dark. For some reason this reached a deep fetishistic place for her.

Now, there are a couple of extreme oddities about this flick that I have to point out. First off… This is an Insane Asylum with Medieval Torture Devices and Death Implements everywhere… Now, I might not be a registered therapist or even a licensed doctor, but I question the choice of décor for the house of loonies. Just… Probably not a good idea.

Then there is the music, which varied from happy porn tracks, to Bebe and Louis Barron electronic tonalities… like from FORBIDDEN PLANET… very odd mix of music.

As for the violence in the film… there is a wild attack with a MACE that… was one of those moments where your brain is filled with, "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK" because you know this is an experience to avoid in life at all costs. Really disturbing.

Fun flick that defines the SEX & VIOLENCE genre.

Next up was a film called THE SCHOOL THAT COULDN’T SCREAM aka WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO SOLANGE?

Quentin takes the stage to inform us that this is an Italian Giallo… Yippeee!!! I love Italian Giallo cinema… they’re lurid sex and violence mysteries that always play out as though from a memory.

Quentin starts off informing us about the lead in the film, Fabio Testi… "I really can’t stand Fabio Testi, he’s the guy with the nasty beard thing going on in the flick, but about half way through I really began to dug what he was doing."

Then Quentin started giggling, "I showed this film to a few friends at my screening room at home and in the audience was Michael Madsen and his wife. Now we were watching this film and at the first murder, Michael leans over to whisper to his wife, but loud enough for everyone to hear, ‘Hey Dina, this is fucking turning me on!’ To which his wife responded not in a whisper but in scream, ‘Michael, You’re Fucking Sick!’ So this flick is officially ranked as sexy by Michael Madsen folks. Oh, and Camille Keaton who plays Solange in the film is the lead from I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE! We got some more sex & violence trailers then it’s on to WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO SOLANGE… THUMP!"

TRAILERS:

ROOM OF CHAINS – It’s about a secret sex cult… Strapping naked chicks spread out with chains… it’s a Disney film I think.

GIMME SHELTER - There’s something about this trailer and title that just always gives me a chill.

TEENAGE HITCH-HIKERS - well, I think it is a good idea to pick up teenage hitch-hikers. Looks like it could be fun.

TEENAGE TRAMP – "Don’t pass her up, she’s looking for a ride!" Again, pull over and open your car door.

SCHOOL FOR UNCLAIMED GIRLS – "The Nylon Gang" this looks like a fun movie to be trapped in.

GINGER – "a very private eye" "It ain’t money I want… WHITE GIRL, it’s your sweet white ASS!"

ANGELS – HARD AS THEY COME – there’s a crazy ass insane rabid biker in this trailer that’d make you laugh your ass off.

ROAD TO SALINA – Looks like one of those slowly driving you insane flicks. Robert Walker Jr looks crazed in this, as does Rita Hayworth.

LOVE IN A 4-LETTER WORLD – There’s a scene where a father slaps a daughter, and the daughter says, "OK, that communicates… but what does it say?" to which the father responds, "That you’re a DIRTY SLUT!" Classic.

And now for the feature presentation…

THE SCHOOL THAT COULDN’T SCREAM aka WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO SOLANGE?

Ok, I dug the hell out of this movie. This is a screwed up revenge mystery murder sex flick that just disturbed the hell out of me and a number of the people in the audience.

So much so, that lots of people were walking out that just couldn’t handle the subject matter. First off these girls at this St Mary’s Catholic School for Girls were just hot as hell. All the actresses were just really quite sexy.

However, like Katie Holmes in THE GIFT, the subject matter and placement of their nudity is violent and sick and twisted. Also, the way the murderer kills, by stabbing into the vagina of the girls with a 14 inch banana blade, binding the girls, leaving them out in the woods to bleed to death… Well… it is severely sick.

This is not an easy to watch film, but I found it absolutely captivating. The subject matter of the revenge, which I will not reveal here… is incredibly poignant and disturbing. The scene of ‘the original sin’ that set the film in motion was equivalent to showing a male’s genitalia being hacked off with a machete… but for the women in the audience… Literally, I could hear about 30 girls cross their legs during this scene. And nearly every guy in the place had Lee Van Cleef eyes from wincing.

The mystery is wonderfully set up, I didn’t have a clue where this was headed, but in the end… I and almost everyone in the AICN crew were just blown away. A truly superior Italian Giallo. One fucked up cool flick.

Next was Fernando Di Leo’s LOADED GUNS…

Quentin took the stage, "Well now for a film in a totally different direction from the last, A COMEDY" to which the audience applauded… "I just recently bought this print, and I didn’t know whether or not it was a TV print or not. So I watched it. First it was widescreen… Good sign that it isn’t a TV print. Then when Ursula Andress is getting smacked around and called a bitch… Ok, good sign… Then at the first full frontal scene, WELL I KNEW WE HAD A THEATRICAL PRINT!!! And pretty much from that point on, the full frontal nudity just never stopped!"

Then Quentin warned us about Italian Comedies… "They just think that a lot of stupid shit is funny, when it is just fucking stupid Ok? Scatological Humor you just can’t go wrong with in an Italian Comedy."

"Now before I got this print, I had never seen the film. And I just got it about 2 weeks ago, ok? So I’m watching the film and Ursula plays an aging Airline Stewardess… And she’s got to deliver, not money, but a message to a crime boss… And she ends up in the middle of a couple of crime lords, the police and she ends up playing them all off of one another, and I was sitting there just thinking, Holy Shit, Fernando Di Leo got there first. He didn’t just beat me, but Elmore Leonard as well. And ya know, I can’t imagine doing much better than Ursula Andress as a white Pam Grier… ya know?"

"Remember that scene in JACKIE BROWN where Sam Jackson realizes that he doesn’t have the money and he just says, ‘Jackie Brown!’ well there’s a scene just like that here, where Woody Strode realizes he’s been had, and he says, ‘That Goddamn Beautiful Bitch!’" and then everyone started cracking up.

Now for the Trailers…

NOT MY DAUGHTER – "A true story described in the lurid language known only by today’s youth!"

WOMEN IN CAGES – "White Skin On The Black Market" "Soft Bodies For Hard Cash!" I love this flick!

MAN FROM DEEP RIVER – Well this is a fucked up MAN CALLED HORSE style flick but by the Italians. So that means everything is about 4 times more visceral and bloody. This flick makes me ache.

PRIVATE DUTY NURSES - "In the tradition of THE STUDENT NURSES!" I bet.

SUPER CHICK – Man, you just kinda have to see it to believe it.

BURY ME AN ANGEL – "A Howling Hellcat Humping A Hot Steel Hog On A Roaring Rampage Of Revenge!" Ok, so now, where’s my copy?

CHAIN GANG WOMEN – "Chained Like Animals – Treated Like Trash!"

SECRET CEREMONY – "It’s time to speak of Unspoken THINGS!" Elizabeth Taylor and Mia Farrow look freaky as hell in this.

CARMEN, BABY – There seems to be a scene in this flick where a woman dances down onto the neck of a gigantic long necked wine bottle and then bobs up and down on it. I must see this flick.

Now for the film….

LOADED GUNS

I really didn’t like this movie much at all. But then I hate Italian Comedies pretty much across the board. I despise Roberto Benigni movies in their entirety. I just… No, not for me.

On the other hand there were two things that stood out for me. Ursula Andress’ nudity which was magnificent. And a rather funny scene of Woody Strode vs a 75 lb Drop Kicker.

However, the rest was just tedium for me. I watched and had that sort of out of body, "Am I Watching This?" sense of drifting. It was sort of like watching myself watching this thing. And there was just sort of this slack faced drool thing going on, and I suddenly felt the urge to poke Quint non-stop through the film. And he felt the urge to poke me. And there was this nudge war thing going on, and in the end I think I won, but in this battle can you ever truly declare a victor? Hmmm… Well tomorrow is GOOD OL BOY NIGHT… Can’t wait!