Hey folks, Harry here with the thoroughly modern Millie Dillmount, who does not use her typical catch phrases of 'Terrif' and 'Delish' on this film by Julie Andrews. Now I know that maybe 15% of you might end up seeing this film, but here's three people that, well, took a bullet for the team and caught a preview of this powdered sugar fluff. Read and be forewarned...
Hi Harry!
Al right, this isn't probably the typical type of movie you post reviews on in your pages, but I got into a sneak preview of The Princess Diaries and thought I'd fill you in on how it was.
First of all, I think it's pretty safe to say that I _am_ the target audience of this film. In fact, I'd be willing to put hard money on the fact that all girls from 5-20 are considered the 'target audience'.
I myself was a little leary about seeing this movie. Not ONLY does it have Mandy Moore, but it involves a plot that looks like it was just ripped from Miss Congeniality (which I thought was a fun film, if not an oscar winner).
But, whilst I am not a seasoned 'screamer' girl, it is true that my friends are. In fact, the moment we first saw this preview weeks ago, they let out a nice volley of Dolphin-ear shattering calls and went ga-ga. It seems that I am the only girl in my group who has not read the novel that this movie is based on. Whoops.
So, since they gamely trundle along with me to Swordfish, The Mummy Returns, Planet of the Apes, and whatever other action film is out, it's my duty to trundle along with them to the chick/foreign film flick of the week (which actually isn't that bad since I am, after all, a chick. Albeit one with an obsession with brawny men toting weapons and humerous one-liners.)
Of course, don't ask me how, it ended up that while I showed up at the sneak-preview, none of the others could make it. Grrr... One of the worst things that can happen to a girl my age is to go to a chick-flick without a group. All of the other girls there have their groups, they're all talking about this or that person, and you just feel--lonely.
Wait! I'm supposed to be reviewing a movie here! I'll get on with it. Consider the previous a look into the psyche of the female seventeen year old.
The previews were ok, but deformed due to some screan problems. Nothing special, except a deformed Harry Potter and Co., all with strangely perfect and uniform haircuts. Very dissapointing for a girl who finds the anticipation of previews almost more exciting than the movie itself.
The movie itself was typical Disney-fied cuteness, right down to the same old Disney contract actors and actresses. "Hi! I'm Mandy Moore! I'm here 'cause I owe Disney my immortal soul! Aren't I cute?" The plot was a predictable Cinderella story. I won't go into details, because I'm certain you've seen this same plot about twenty-thirty times in your life, and half of those times via TGIF. I'll do a run-down ...
The good: Ann Hatheway was quite good. Has she been in anything before? I don't think so. She did the whole conversion from Ugly Duckling to Swan well, and succeeded at the pysical comedy. Julie Andrews and the head of security in Genovia were also pretty good. In fact, most of the jokes worked really well, and were genuinely funny. I found myself totally identifying with Mia, which I'm sure was playing right into The Mouse's hands. (Ok, but come on, who _hasn't_ accidently lit a dignitary's sleave on fire?).
The bad: The plot, as I mentioned earlier, was sadly predictable. Right down to the sorrowful attempts at subplots. What is Hollywood's recent obsession with subplots that don't go anywhere? I've seen it in this movie, in Planet of the Apes, in Atlantis, and tons of other "too many cooks" scripts. It's like they forget where they wanted to go with a string so they just leave it hanging.
Mandy Moore--I think it was supposed to be a joke. From what I've seen, she's been portrayed as a 'nice girl' (hah! Have you ever heard her songs? I think Eartha Kitt would blush singing those lines...) and so it's supposed to be funny to see her be evil. Well, it isn't. And the character of the "Dream Boy" fails to remain consistent, he starts out as an ok but oblivious dude and does a one-eighty to become an ultra-baddie. What? Did I miss something? Plus, Mia's 'standing up for herself' scene against them is just... lacking. Not the fulfilling, "you tell them!" bit that it should be. Though I may be alone in this, most of the other girls were clapping/laughing.
The ugly: Someone should notify network execs that girls my age are not looking for dark lashes, delicate features, and retro-cool long hair. We're looking for _men_, or at the very least, _guys_. This movie has the same problem a lot of movies aimed at girls has, the male stars just aren't cute. They look like girls with cheek implants. "Dream Boy" looked like a girl. "Nice Boy" just looked like a girl who wandered off of the set of Planet of the Apes and into this movie. Newsflash! I don't want a guy who writes poetry, paints paintings, composes music, or has a band (actually, the band part wouldn't be bad). I want a guy who, if I was mugged, could kick the crud out of the mugger, who could single-handedly save me (not that I would need saving) from legions of flesh-starved mummies, who could trounce all other guys in a no-holds barred competition for my hand and still have enough strength left over for a passionate kiss. And who can dance the tango.
D'uh.
Give me Cliff from Bring It On over these pansies any day. Or better yet, a younger version of Hugh Jackman! (Talk about a hottie... Somewhere, someplace, his seventeen year-old unmarried counterpart exists, and somehow, someway, I will find him.)
To sum it up: Even though the analytical part of my mind was cynically noting every trick used to lure girls in, the girly inner part of me was falling for it hook, line, and sinker. With the exception that the love interest was a total jerky wuss who I would never consider dating in a million years, the movie did very well in pandering to the teen girl audience. For everyone not a teen girl who's being dragged along, you won't have a bad time either. In fact, I caught my older brothers (kindly accompanying me so I wouldn't be totally alone and because they thought there would be lots of single chicks there) laughing on several occasions.
The plot was flawed, but bearable. The music stank, but then again, I'm completely on the R.E.M./U2/Police/Talking Heads boat when it comes to music. Or at least I vastly prefer good old fashioned rock and roll to the tripey homogenized and synthesized committee created garbage they feed us nowadays. The acting was good, though some of the adults seemed somehow mournful that they've sunk so far. If I had to rate this movie, I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10.
And that's my review. I hope I didn't gab your ear off too much :).
Millie Dillmount
And now for one last look...
Hey Harry,
I just saw a sneak preview of Disney's new live-action movie, The Princess Diary starring Julie Andrews and Anna Hathaway. I haven't seen anything on the site, so I figured I would send this small review in.
As you probably know, The Princess Diary is the latest movie from the Mouse House. It stars Mary Poppins, er, I mean, Julie Andrews as a Queen from a made up country located between France and Spain. It turns out the Queen has a grandaughter living in San Fransico that doesn't know she's a princess. The princess, played by Anna Hathaway, is the class nerd, and as it turns out, the next aire to the thrown. I won't give much else away in the way of spoilers.
I will say the movie should play well for the 12-17 year old girl crowds by the reaction of many of the girls in the theater. Rated G, it might make a good mother-daughter flick as an afternoon matinee. Personally, I didn't like it. Of course, being one of only five guys in the theater didn't help, but The Man has got to do things to please his wife sometimes.
Within 15 minutes, you should probably be able to guess the rest of the plot, including the "twists" and the ending. It doesn't take rocket science to see what's coming after only seeing the introduction.
Like I said, 14-year-old girls should love it. The script was obviously written with them in mind. The jokes, the love interests, the transformation all got oohs and ahhs from the women in attendance. Julie Andrews doesn't do much but use the English accent, wave her hand and act prim and proper. But then again, her role didn't require much else. Hathaway took much of the screen time, and for me, didn't make the character or story too believable. Then again, the story wasn't too plausible to begin with.
The antagonists aren't really fleshed out. We know they're "bad" because they want the crown. That's about all we know. They get about 4 minutes of screen time and nothing was really explained. I know what they were going for, but a little back ground and maybe a pronounced villain could have helped the story a lot and made it marketable outside the pre-teen and teenage girl demographic.
The sound track is also obviously geared towards the pre-teen and teen girls with lots of dance music, bubblegum rock, and "girl power" type songs.
Overall, it's a nice mother-daughter flick. The N'Sync crowds will love it. The guys might not get much out of it, so unless dragged there, I wouldn't shell out full-price for it.
Until next time...
The Man has spoken
And lastly a look from a 16 year old movie fan that references Pollyanna quite well... Amazing....
Hey Harry:
Just wanted to let you and the AintItCool gang know about the sneak preview across Canada of The Princess Diaries, a film that, despite being crap, will no doubt emerge as successful counterprogramming to Rush Hour 2 on August 3rd. So, without further ado, on to the review.
WHAT: The Princess Diaries (Disney)
BY WHOM: Directed by Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride) , Written by Meg Cabot (novel), Gina Wedkos (adaptation),
WITH WHOM: Anne Hathaway (debut), Julie Andrews, Hector Elizondo, Larry Murphy, Mandy Moore
FOR WHOM: 13 year-old girls or younger (hence its G rating)
I'm a 16-year-old guy who frequents your site and loves all facets of cinema. However, The Princess Diaries is not cinema, it is a movie, and this means, at the very least, it should be entertaining. I walked into the theater without many expectations (a good way to blow a Saturday night), and enjoyed myself minimally. This film has little to offer to anyone outside of its target demographic, which means certain boredom for any moderately intelligent individual in the theater.
The story, as in all Disney tripe, is simple enough for the kiddies to grasp. In a nutshell: A socially inept but very bright 15-year-old girl named Mia (Hathaway) being raised by a single mother in San Francisco, receives a visit from her estranged grandmother, the Queen of Genovia (Andrews), who informs her that her father was a Prince and, ergo, she is a Princess. Mia is unsure if she wants to take the throne or continue her life in S.F., but must decide by her debut ball. To prepare for said ball, she takes princess lessons from her grandmother and hilarity (supposedly) ensues. This is your basic fish-out-of-water story; no points for originality here.
I tried to like the film, I really did. Marshall's credit on the marquee caught my eye -- he's usually an excellent romantic comedy director, but here, the failure is the fault of the script. Unlike Shrek earlier this year, The Princess Diaries does not contain any subtle "in-jokes" that would boost watchability for adults. The script actually contains few laughs, which only briefly appear during the princess lessons that occupy the bulk of the film's second act. In fact, the first and last acts are unbearable.
Mia's character really bored me, and when the main character is dull, the film has a problem. We're supposed to believe that she's a genius-of-the-land, despite that fact that she acts like a real ditz throughout the film. This girl is the definition of Disney never-been-kissed naive. For example:
(i) She trusts this trio of bitches (including Mandy Moore, teenage crap songstress), who have been harassing and embarrassing her throughout the film, to keep the press away from her change tent at the beach. Of course, they lure photographers to the site then proceed to topple over the tent, leaving poor dumb Mia stranded with only a towel to wear for all to see. That was unexpected!
(ii) She has these hilariously over-the-top wet dream fantasies about this blonde "Backstreet Boy Clone" at her school, while the "right" guy (by movie standards, anyway), is staring her in the face. Of course, the "right" guy, as per norm in Disney films, looks like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo with brown hair and a horrible haircut (incoming: sideburns). There are so many overplayed fantasy scenes of Mia smooching the blonde that it gets very tiresome very quickly -- we get it.
(iii) All of a sudden, after she gets a makeover, she becomes a bitch. She breaks important commitments to two of her friends (oh, such dramatic tension!), to go to the beach with blondie (the teenagers in this film do not drink beer of have sex at the beach a la Jaws, they merely sing "Stupid Cupid" Connie Francis style and kiss innocently).
The script spends way too much time dealing with the distaff relationships in the story. It reeks of contrivance. How many times have you seen THIS before: (a) girl resents grandmother , gets to know grandmother better and warms to her (natch); (b) girl resents mother, cue endless scenes of "playful women having fun together", girl warms to mother (natch).
Also, the film contains the usual toxic message for young girls -- good hair, better clothes, eye makeup, and status (in this case Princess), equates with desirability.
Anne Hathaway is being billed as the next Julia Roberts. Ain't gonna happen babe! She doesn't have very much charm or charisma, and she's 18 playing a 15-year-old. Needless to say, I didn't buy it.
Julie Andrews is fun, but it looks like her face has been, ahem, "fixed" in the past few years. This woman is 65 and looks smoother than Hathaway, zits and all.
Hector Elizondo (who appears in every Marshall film), and Larry Murphy get most of the laughs to be had in their roles as royal chauffeur and royal makeup artist, respectively.
Mandy Moore is annoying as hell; no departure from the usual.
If you're a 13-year-old girl you might like this movie, but if not, stay away. In fact, a 13-year-old girl would be better of renting an old Hayley Mills flick. One minute of Pollyanna is better than any minute of this claptrap.
