Interesting fellow this Saint. I don't know much about "the Saint" but hopefully he/she/it will come to write more often. This is an Early test screening and will most likely change quite a bit between this showing and the next. Not really any spoilers at all in this review. If you saw this, I'd love to hear other opinions on ZORRO, I'm dying to see it, even if the Saint didn't care for it.
Forgive me Harry, for I have sinned. It's been 3 weeks since my last confession. While many things that have occurred in my life these past couple of weeks, none have been as sinful as the act I'm committing now. You see, I'm about to partake in an immoral and maybe illegal act by reviewing a Test Screening.
Today's Test Screening Review comes to you from the Gospel according to St. Gregory the Enlightener, a Patron Saint whom I'm named after. Gregory, like myself, loved to speak the truths to his parishioners. He liked to divulge information, some of which he shouldn't, to his fellow man in hopes to shed some light on certain matters. The matter in which I will shed some light on has to deal with a test Screening I attended tonight in Thousand Oaks. The movie - The Mask of Zorro. As a wee lad I often fantasized about being the man with the Gay Blade. I often dressed up like him and attempted to perform derring-do's in his fashion. So, when I heard a new movie was going to be made of such a classic hero I was ecstatic. Finally a big budget, modern day remake of one of the all time greats. But alas, my children. This Zorro pales in comparison to the Zorro of yore. What an utter disappointment this movie was. Oh how I dreamed of how great this movie would be. To have a cast lined with the names of Hopkins and Banderas. What a truly great experience this film should have been. It's rather unfortunate this movie was such a bore because it had a dynamite team in Sir Anthony and Senor Banderas. The following are my Pros and Cons of the movie:
The Pros:
1) The acting is awesome. What a great team Anthony Hopkins and Antonio Banderas make. Their teacher/student relationship is dealt with in a very amusing way. It was more of a Chun/Remo relationship than a Yoda/Luke one. Which, in some ways, is rather unfortunate because we never get to see either characters souls...an important part in that "learning a valuable lesson" aspect in the teacher/student relationship. Many a laughs were shared, but alas, their was no heart.
2) The lovely, talented, and dropdead gorgeous Catherine Zeta-Jones. This film will make a star out of this beauty. She reminded me of the Actresses of the Golden Age...beautiful, smart, sophisticated, yet one tough cookie. Definitely an actress to look out for.
3) The Temp Track - The music used in this movie was suburb. One could hear the pulse pounding music to Cutthroat Island, Wyatt Earp, Maverick, Willow, The Phantom, and several others throughout the film. I surely hope when they do the final music they pick a composer of Korngoldian talent.
4) The Romance - This surprisingly worked for me. Why? It had two charismatic, good-looking actors involved. There's one scene in particular that I truly enjoyed. It takes place in the stable. It's fun, amusing, erotic, and down-right cute. The only scene in the movie that I'll remember from years to come.
The Cons:
1) The Story - The main plot lacked in any originality and intrigue. The audience was left to twiddle their thumbs while the A Line plot was being related to them on screen. The B Line Plot(teacher/student relationship) was, however, an entertaining escape from the boring centerpiece.
2) The Tone - Zorro has always been a swashbuckling, amusing series of movies and television shows since his creation lo many eons ago. While the movie does have plenty of laughs some of them seem rather childish...like in a Ninja Turtle Movie. The other problem in its tone deals with its violent, down-right vicious aspects of the story. It takes the fun out of the story. The harsher aspects of the movie would give children nightmares. 'Tis a shame to, because kids would love this flick.
3) The Direction - It would have been grand to see Robert Rodriquez pick up the sword and lead the charge to this opus. To see what he could've done to the legend would have been really cool. Unfortunately, the producers hired Martin Campbell to put his winning touch on the film(Didn't they see No Escape?). This man has the inability to create any kind of tension or excitement during an action scene. I want to be on the edge of my seat when I see some swashbuckling antics play out on screen. I want to gasp, cheer, and laugh at the fun going on. Unfortunately, I did not do so during the action...neither did a majority of the audience.
4) The Transformation - During the course of the movie we are supposed to see the transformation of Banderas from scruffy looking nerf herder to dashing derring-do. We see him train to become a master swordsman(great stuff but should've been longer), but we never see him go through the ropes to transform into a gentleman. It would add a few minutes to the movie so I don't foresee it happening.
5) The Length - The movie ran about 2:20. A bit long if you ask me. However, I felt certain scenes should have been longer(see above). I know they'll do some trimming to the movie. I only hope they don't trim the more amusing and enjoyable aspects of the film.
6)The Ending - Intended to be exciting. Unfortunately it doesn't live up to it's expectations. It's one of those been there...done that climaxes. Oh well.
What I was expecting was a movie that would make me feel like a kid again like the Indy movies did. What I got was a movie that was a notch above The Phantom and nothing else. 'Tis a shame indeed.
Harry wrote the Saint back and asked, "How is the swashbuckling?"
No. They are only mildly entertaining. In fact, most of the action and sword play is boring. No pizzazz. No gusto. No sense of fun or awe-inspiring stunts to it what-so-ever. You know that sword fight in Princess Bride? NOW THAT'S A SWORD FIGHT!!! Nothing in this movie comes close.
