Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
There's nothing an Evil Genius likes more than the thought of World Domination. And jokes about World Domination... bliss. So imagine how much I'm looking forward to CATS & DOGS, a film that's all about a struggle for control of the planet by two seemingly benign species. I'm jealous that Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr saw the film today, but then again, Knowles is jealous that I saw KISS OF THE DRAGON today (a review is on the way immediately), so I guess it's all just a matter of perspective. The good Doc is one of our best friend here at the Labs, so I'm always thrilled when he sends something in. Check out this perspective...
To: The esteemed Harry J. Knowles and the world-renowned Professor Moriarty.
From: Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr, pioneer of the Cranial Screw-top Method (TM) of brain transplantation.
No time for chit-chat and pleasantries fellas, I have some URGENT news for your readership:
A well-crafted and entertaining mainstream Hollywood movie has finally slipped through the cracks of that ancient, brainless torture chamber commonly known as Studio Development. The movie is called CATS & DOGS and, depending on your peticular preference, it is either PURRFECTLY WONDERFUL or DOGGONE TERRIFIC.
Less than six hours ago I stumbled upon the World Premiere at the Mann Village Theater in Westwood, California. Outside, to entertain the good premiere-going folks, were several lively cats and dogs. I quickly swapped brains with one of the smaller cats and rode in on the back of Charlton Heston (he voices one of the dogs in the film, hence his Holy Presence in Westwood).
The film begins with a wonderful live action dog-n-cat chase sequence that reminds one of vintage Looney Toons. From that moment on, the fun never stops and the story never hits a wall. Even more importantly, there is a dastardly evil plot that is -- SHOCK! -- easy to follow and quite inventive. A rarity this summer.
Without giving anything vital away, here's the bones and catnip of it: Since the days of Ancient Egypt when cats actually ruled over man, dogs and cats have been at war. Back in those ancient times, the dogs got together, overthrew the cats, and became man's protector and "best friend." Cats have been pissed ever since. Now, in 2001, workaholic father Jeff Goldblum is working on a serum that will cure all human allergies to dogs. Cats do not want this to happen because it will seriously jeopardize their plan to reconquer the world. This plan is mainly the work of a kitty Hitler known as Mr. Tinkles. In order to prevent the cats from destroying Goldblum's work, the dogs send a secret agent to protect him. Once again the cats are not pleased. And, as Bug Bunny or Grouch Marx would say: "This means war!"
The energy in this film, if bottled, could power Los Angeles for the rest of the summer and end all of our blackout worries. It never stops. And the laughs are pretty darn consistent. The writers must be given credit: they have crafted some sharp, witty one-liners and gags. Another rarity this summer. I swear, there were times when the ghosts of Termite Terrace seemed to be working behind the scenes on the gag construction. At other times, one could sense the influence of vintage Joe Dante. The only weakness that I could find in this film, and it's one that will probably actually help it with the younger audiences, is that the relationship between the young boy and his dog gets a little to sappy for my taste. It's something that Termite Terrace and Dante would never have allowed. But, what the heck, it certainly doesn't harm the film, just softens it up a little around the edges...
...which was probably necessary after the kickass scene involving a Russian Cat Agent who unleashes an arsenal of deadly, terrifying weapons on a couple of dog spies! Major coolness that was as nasty as anything in the GREMLINS movies. It will probably scare the beejeezes out of more than a few kiddies in the audience. But that's okay, Mr. Liebermann. Being scared at a young age is, as I recall, actually quite fun and exhilarating. In other words: relax, the kiddies will survive this sequence and still love the movie. I witnessed this first hand.
One of the other big set pieces (and there are many, many more), is one that the latest Entertainment Weekly boldly names the "IT Movie Sequence" of the summer. It involves an attack of Cat Ninja Assassins. I was expecting this sequence to be genius. Instead it was just fine, thank you. The scene was way too dark -- not dark as in scary and disturbing, but dark as in "Hey! Who turned out the lights! I can't see shit!" It was hard to follow the action and, I feel, the scene was not all that it could have been. But, hey, I'm nit-picking here. It's not gonna leave anyone angry and flustered like, um, TOMB RAIDER or MUMMY RETURNS or (insert any 2001 summer movie here).
Oddly enough, the voice talent in this film was more enjoyable than the actual live human talent. Tobey Maguire, Joe Pantoliano, Susan Sarandon, Moses Heston, Jon Lovitz, Michael Clarke Duncan, and even Alec Baldwin all made terrific and believable cats and dogs. Sean Hayes as the sinister Mr. Tinkles, all but steals the movie.
As for the humans, Elizabeth "will you marry me when I'm Big" Perkins is fine with what little she has to do. Jeff Goldblum is basically channeling Rick Moranis from HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS (take it as a slam or a compliment, doesn't really matter. After all, we're not here to see the humans.) The kid actor is your basic pleasant run-of-the-mill kid actor. No harm, no foul.
Bottom line: there was a smile on everyone's face after this was over. Young, old, jaded, innocent, cat lovers, dog lovers. Charlton Heston looked downright giddy and pretty darn proud to have been associated with it (either that or he was packing a brand new gun). And the kids? I haven't seen them this excited since SPY KIDS. It's a good year to be young, what with that, this, and HARRY POTTER on it's way.
So who caused this anomaly of coolness to happen in the summer of shit? It was produced by Warren Zide and Craig Perry, the fine young lads who brought us AMERICAN PIE. The writers were John Requa and Glenn Ficarra. Don't know squat about them, but I'd bet anything they have a great fondness for Chuck Jones, Bob Clampett, Robert McKimson, Frank Tashlin and Friz Freleng. The director is Lawrence Guterman. Don't know him from Adam either. But I, for one, am pleased to meetcha.
Anyway, that's my impression of CATS & DOGS. I hope everyone sees it and has as much fun as I did. If not, then send a SASE to Warner Bros. for a full refund.
