Hey folks, Harry here it is my miserable duty to give you a look at Massawyrm... now cover your eyes... peek through the cracks... Here's the guy to send all your independent dreams too. If he likes em... I'll definitely see them and say he's on crack or pat him on the back... And who knows.... Maybe some bigshot will look at em too.... ya know... crazier things have happened.
Hola all, Massawyrm here to address a few of the issues brought up in many of the e-mails I've been sent over the last day and a half. There seem to be a lot of questions about what exactly I do here and what exactly I would like to see. So let me lay it down on y'all and see if I can get you folks to send your stuff to me more quickly and easily.
What am I doing here? Well, I am watching the independent films that are sent my way and then writing about them in a weekly column showcasing the talents of fringe artists who haven't been able to get their foot in the door anywhere yet. This can be a film that's been in the can for years but hasn't really been looked at or a film you just finished editing yesterday. I will be writing once a week to let everybody know just what beautiful little gems I've found.
"But Massawyrm, would you want to watch my film?" Yes. Yes I would. There's no need to pitch it to me, or e-mail me asking if I want to see it. I do. I can't wait. I love film, all sorts of film, that's why I'm here. Be it Troma style zombie movie on 35mm, coming of age gay cowboys eating pudding flick shot on 16mm, or a weird experimental film shot on DV, anything and everything will be watched and I will personally let you know what I thought, whether I review it in my column or not. So get that footage to me.
"But Massawyrm, what format do you want it in?" You have options, lots of options. I accept VHS, VCD, Region 1 DVD and if you only have your film in QuickTime, avi or another computer format, burn it to a CD and send that to me. Please include any and all presskit materials and info you can WITH the film, as its easier to keep together that way and not have to sift through the massive amounts of e-mail I receive to find the credits and contact info if I decide to review your work of genius.
"But Massawyrm, are you sure you REALLY want to see my piece, and you're not just filling us with pipe dreams?" Yes, I am very sure. I really want to see your stuff.
"But Massawyrm, if its already posted on the net, do I have to send it?" Yes, I am poor and have a dial-up connection. In the last day, 20 people have e-mailed me asking If I would download their films and watch them. That would take till next week just to download at this speed, so until I can afford DSL, I need you to burn those films to CD and send them.
"But Massawyrm, why does it seem that you like the sound of your own name?" Because I do. And I love seeing it repeated on a page over and over again. Massawyrm. Massawyrm. Massawyrm.
"But Massawyrm, so I don't have to go back to the other post, can you post your address here, now that I'm all excited to send you my film." Yes.
Massawyrm
3408 Red River
Austin TX. 78705
Now the important question that I've been getting a lot of lately: What is an independent film? I'll keep this brief as this could easily go on forever. Quite simply an independent film is any film, of any budget, starring any number of people (famous or otherwise) that is funded outside of the studio system, and thus is not subject to the usual rules by which the game is played. Thus, there is more freedom involved in the creation process (most of the time, but backers have been known to step in and involve themselves in the process, just like big time producers often do). I don't care if George Clooney or Cathrine Zeta-Jones are in it. If a studio didn't fund it, then odds are they took a pay cut to do it, and are attaching themselves to the project because its something they believe in rather than just another paycheck. If ever you had respect for film, these are the types of film you should respect, the ones where highly paid people do it for the love of making film, rather than the love of Leer jets and red carpet.
"But Massawyrm, if a movie is made for $30 Million, then its not independent!" If that $30 Million came out of someone's pocket (deep pockets or not) rather than studio coffers, then it is independent. Hands down. What you're forgetting is that just because they spend the money, doesn't mean anyone is GOING to ever see it. With a studio picture, they have the ability to distribute whatever they want. They could film John Travolta eating Beans with George Wendt in downtown Puxatawny, and get it distributed (as they have that power). Indie films have to market their film TO the studios in hopes of getting that distribution. Thus they have to be marketable.
With the advent of DV (Digital Video), it is easier for poor filmmakers to make a feature film for an obscenely small amount of money and then edit it themselves on their home computers. Just as this is a great thing for the indie world, it has led to a glut of films making the circuit and vying for the same limited amount of distribution there already was. It has suddenly become tough to even get noticed in the indie world. Fear not...your chain smoking Knight in a sequined jumpsuit has arrived.
So I'm gonna sit down with my pack of Camel Filters, a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper and commence watching the few films that have trickled in already. Good luck filmmakers, in all your endeavors. I look forward to seeing your stuff.
Massawyrm
Now Accepting Honest Bribes and Offers.... pay in cigarettes please... I'm a lunger!
