Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Flmlvr's just the cutest little film reviewer. He stands about two feet high, and when he climbs into a theater seat, he has to use an upside-down popcorn bucket as a stepladder. He can't even lift a large coke unless he uses both arms. I don't know how he sees over anyone, even when he stands in his seat and jumps up and down, but somehow, he makes do. And now he's piping in with a look at a film from the director of the deeply creepy THE RING. Listen up...
So I know it's been a while since you've all heard from me but dwarf sex has been in vogue as of late in LA, plus I've been off doing the tour circuit promoting the super secret intergalactic special edition of "Willow". It's been really cool. I haven't had this much fun dressing up in costume since last night with John Robie's hot ass sister....
...Anyway, you're all probably thinking I'm here to review the new freddie prinze movie, summer catch...well I'm not. But I will politely insist that you all watch "E-True Hollywood Story" this coming Sunday. It's a retrospective on Hughes' Master Work "Sixteen Candles".
No, the reason I'm here today is to politely inform you all of a very cool little japanese film I stumbled upon over the weekend called CHAOS. It's by Hideo Nakata, the director of the very cool and atmospheric horror film RING. Which if you haven't seen, I suggest you try and find. If you can't, don't panic too much, the american version comes out from Dreamworks sometime next year. After seeing these two films from Hideo, I'm pretty much willing to watch anything by him. He's an awesome director who knows how to build suspense with subtlety, not with a blaring soundtrack coming out of dolby ex speakers. Now in keeping with the theme of subtlety, I'm going to try and describe this film with out giving the whole thing away. Sort of like with what Harry did for his "With a friend like harry" review. I'll give you the first ten minutes or so. And yes, I know that's blatantly ripping Harry off...but as Moriarty once said, "flmlvr thy name is not dignity.".
The film opens in an uppity, eight sets of silverware per meal, restaurant where a husband and wife enjoy their dinner in silence. Before we know it, the meal is over and the husband is up front paying for the meal. He finishes, only to find his wife missing. He looks around. Can't find her. He walks outside. Looks around. Can't find her. He shrugs. Doesn't have time for this. He's late for an important meeting. He rushes into the office only to be told by his secretary that he has a phone call and that it's one he needs to take. He does and is informed that his wife has been kidnapped and that if he wants to see her alive again, he needs to come up with some mad cash. We then cut to the kidnapper and his wife, only to find out that the wife is the one who approached the kidnapper. She came up with a desperate plan to test her husbands love. She feels that after all these years, he doesn't love her anymore, and that this is the only way to find out if he still cares.
After some reluctance, the kidnapper agrees but decides that in order for this to work, it has to be done as realistic as possible. That means she has to be tied up, beaten, and possibly even raped. She agrees and the kidnapper leaves her tied up in an apartment to go take care of some things. When he comes back later that night to check in on her, he finds her dead in the bathroom. Murdered. The phone rings and in a panic he answers it. A voice on the other line tells him that he has one hour to dispose of the body. The kidnapper laughs. Why would he do that? The voice on the other line calmly explains that if he doesn't the police will be there in mere minutes, and that there is no way that the police will believe his story. Especially one where the woman was bound, gagged, and beaten so realistically. The kidnapper drops the phone and before we know it we're in the woods burying the body.
So that's pretty much the set up. The first ten minutes or so. What happens from there is even cooler. I won't ruin it, but I will say that the director made this film as sort of his homage to VERTIGO, so expect to find a woman showing up who looks just like the dead woman and the kidnapper to go insane trying to find out. It's a pretty cool film that is made cooler by the way it unfolds. It's done in sort of a memento like narrative, but not quite. It unfolds out of order, but not backwards, in a cloud of crisp, mood filled cinematography.
This film isn't perfect. In fact the last 5 minutes pretty much blow...but it's not that big of deal considering how fresh the first hour and a half is. This may not be an easy film to find, but I definitely recommend that you do your best to track down an import or find an uber cool video store that carries a wide selection of foreign films.
That's all for now. I'm off to try and sneak my way into the SAVE THE LAST DANCE video release party....
And remember, just like the voice over at the end of gremlins warns, you never know where you'll find me. I might be under your bed, or in your desk drawer, but no matter where I'm at, you can TALK TO ME!!!
