Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
I'd like to hand the floor over to The Kingpin and share with you a concerned and sobering letter he sent me tonight. I think he says everything that needs to be said. Sir?
Moriarty....
I know you're a busy guy, so I don't know if you caught this news in the trades, but here's the funniest thing I've read in weeks. Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst has been signed to direct LIFE WITHOUT JOE, which DAILY VARIETY describes as a youth-oriented DELIVERANCE about "a group of teen football players who stop in a nowhere town where an odd character accuses them of running over a cat. The teammates soon find themselves running for their lives through backwoods populated by some scary locals." (!!!!!!!!!!) - Daily Variety, May 14, 2001.
If that doesn't sound horrible on sooooooo many fucking levels, get this....Though he's only directed videos, the producers have confidence in Durst because they had a meeting and he "told them about some experiences he's had with David Fincher, learning how to build tension into the picture" (!!!!!!!!!!) LAUGH MY MOTHERFUCKING ASS OFF! That's right, Fred Durst will do a bang-up job of directing because he's SPOKEN to David Fincher about how to make movies suspenseful. Hell, Moriarty, you've met Carpenter, Verhoeven, Ferrara, Stone, and everyone else in this town -- you oughta be directing fucking EPISODE 3!! I met Peter Hyams when I was an extra in SUDDEN DEATH. How about I direct Arthur Clarke's 3001?? Apparently all it takes to be a master auteur in this town is to TALK to an established director.
Oh, well. I hear the bass player from STAIND bumped into Soderbergh at the Sunset 5. Let's get that guy behind the camera - QUICK!
