Que Patza, CineLocos... Father Geek aqui with some non-cannes news for a change... We'll get to Coffin Joe Jr.'s regular column in a minute but first I got the following USA TODAY report from Andy Seiler for those of you that...

"...just can't keep those Spy Kids away.

Writer/director Robert Rodriguez is preparing a ''special edition'' of the blockbuster kids adventure, which has grossed $98.4 million. A new scene with almost as many special effects as the rest of the film is assured. ''It's going to be awesome,'' he says. ''We'll be working on the sequence till it comes out in August.''

Rodriguez originally shot a scene in which heroes Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara) must swim through a cave of sleeping sharks, but realized the necessary special effects would break the budget. ''I went to the Bahamas and filmed about 40 reef sharks to get reference footage,'' Rodriguez says. ''I was swimming without any cage, and they almost ripped me apart. My own kids have become shark fanatics, so I can't wait for them to see the movie.''

Rodriguez also begins work on Once Upon a Time in Mexico, the third of a trilogy started with El Mariachi and Desperado, starring Spy Kids' Antonio Banderas. He'll then shoot Spy Kids 2, due in August 2002. Both are being shot digitally.

''It's so much faster to shoot that way, and it costs so much less,'' says Rodriguez, who acts as cameraman and editor. ''I pick up the camera and I go. This technology will revolutionize everything.''

-- Andy Seiler

Es muy saborrrrrrrr... Father Geek back again... This time I've got some news from "I was a Teenage Film Maker" on several current Spanish projects...

This is my second post (my first was about Devil's Backbone) and it is about some spanish projects.

You may know that right now the number 1 box-office here is "Torrente 2: Misión en Marbella", a gross-out comedy sequel to was it went to be the highest grossing spanish movie ever. This one has beaten this record and it looks like is going to climb to "The Sixth Sense" number 2 spot. Critics hated "Torrente 2", but it is a damn funny movie, and a James Bond spoof. I liked it.

Then, of course, there is a project called "Vivancos", which despite the fact of being based on a catalonian TV show, smells like a photocopy of Torrente, but focusing the parody factor in Don Siegel's and Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry series. El Gran Wyoming, a famous spanish comedian stars as Vivancos and the story takes place in Barcelona.

Also in one of Barcelona's most important streets, Via Laietana, took place the shooting of a sequence from Jaume Balaguero's "Darkness", starring Anna Paquin and Lena Olin. The sequence - spoiler - is the accident of a surely important character, and takes place in a traffic jam on a rainy day. This is one of the most promising projects from Spanish film industry.

Another big project, with no start date yet is Alex de la Iglesia's "Fu Manchu", which will star Antonio Banderas. Not confirmed: part of the shooting will take in Málaga (Banderas' hometown, and where I do live) and Michael Caine and Robert de Niro are being mentioned as possible co- stars. The budget (unconfirmed yet) could rise up to 20 millions US $, which is very much for an Spanish movie.

Banderas' another project is "Málaga en Llamas" (Málaga Burning). He's really in love with this project, so do I. I've read the novel by Gamel Woosley (it is autobiographical), poet Gerald Brennan's wife, and it shows how the Spanish Civil War affected Málaga between 1.936-7, with the point of view of a foreign woman who loves Spain. Obviously, Gamel Woosley's role is for Melannie Griffith. I think she is a good choice, but I also think that Banderas should keep his hands away from directing (important to point out that this flick should need heavy budget for fx and art direction). Look, I liked "Crazy in Alabama", but it had tendences to sappynness that could kill this story. Maybe he could ask another one... the most similar I can think about is the Shanghai storyline of "Empire of the sun", mixed with some parts of "Schindler's List".

And one of Málaga's young promises, Pedro Temboury - a protegee of Orson Welles collaborator Jess (Jesús) Franco, which is a Z-Grade cult director - will open at Málaga's Spanish Film Festival his first feature "Karate to death in Torremolinos", a Z-Grade film which has a funny as hell trailer (I saw it back in February). Look, I know Pedro Temboury (he's a friend of mine since 1.995), and I even had worked with him in one of his shorts, so I know very well what I am talking about (now, wait and see how the Spanish Film Festival doesn't keep the promise of showing it)... Pedro Temboury himself, Raquel Evans, spanish critic Jordi Costa and Jesús Franco are in the cast.

Well, nothing more for now. I hope you found this information useful and/or interesting...

So long...

"I was a teenage filmmaker"

Aye te watcho... Now on to Coffin Joe Jr.'s report for this Tuesday...

Hey there, Coffin Joe Jr. here, back for another week of news from Latin cinema.

Got some reviews for ya, a few bits of info, pretty diverse, hope you dig it. Cannes is the thing right now, so everything is happening there, deals, announcements, etc, so let´s keep our eyes open for news on cool projects coming together. Anything Latin related you guys hear about, send my way. Enough of me rambling here´s this week´s news :

US

-Jordana Brewster, who appeared earlier this year in "The Invisible Circus" with Cameron Diaz and was the bitchy Delilah in Robert Rodriguez´s "The Faculty", is in this summer´s racing extravaganza "The Fast and The Furious", directed by Rob Cohen("The Skulls", "Daylight"). Jordana plays a character named Mia Toretto. Other cast members include Vin "Riddick" Diesel, Paul Walker, Ted Levine and another latino star Michelle "GirlFight" Rodriguez.

-Speaking of Michelle Rodriguez, she´s a pretty busy lady this year, with not only "The Fast and Furious", but also the thriller "3 A.M.", which debuted at this year´s Sundance Film Festival, but has no release date yet, and the highly anticipated "Resident Evil", based on the popular Capcom video game of the same name. Paul Anderson("Mortal Kombat", "Event Horizon") is helming "Resident Evil", from a script he wrote , with Eric Mabius("The Crow , Salvation") and Milla Jovovich("Fifth Element") also starring.

-Veteran actor Edward James Olmos, is in director Mick Garris´s("The Stand", "Sleepwalkers") latest film, a thriller simply titled "The Judge". Among other notable Latin stars, Brazilian beauty Sonia Braga is also in the movie, playing a character named Lily Acosta, the wife of Olmos´s character, Armando Acosta. This movie was supposed to be released May 6th in the US, but it wasn´t, so let´s keep an eye on this one.

MEXICO

-Mexican director Alejandro González Iñarritu, the guy behind the sensational "Amores Perros", is one of the great directors who has been hired by BMW Films for a series of amazing short films. Other talented fellas that have been chosen are Guy Ritchie, Ang Lee, John Frankenheimer and Andrew Kevin Walker, just to name a few. You can check out these pretty cool short movies at this address: Just Click Right Here

COFFIN JOE JR. MOVIE REVIEWS

"Replicant" (2001)

Director: Ringo Lam

If you are expecting me to say this one sucks like all of Van Damme´s movies, you´ve come to the wrong place. Yes, my friends, believe it or not, Van Damme has delivered. Sorry, make that, Ringo Lam has delivered once again, Van Damme just happens to be in it (although he ACTS in this one. I´m not being sarcastic, by the way). I thought "Maximum Risk", the first movie Van Damme did with Lam, was one of the midget´s best, the action was there, the story made more sense than it usually does in his movies, and Natasha "Species" Henstridge showed her boobs, so it was decent entertainment. Van Damme is usually reliable for completely awful acting and good fight scenes (especially with the HK directors and stunt people working in his flicks). It´s basically leave your brain at home and go have some fun. You´ll, as long as you don´t think too hard.

I had fairly low expectations when I went to see "Replicant". I´m a big fan of Lam´s work in Hong Kong, there´s "Victim", "The Suspect", "Full Alert", and other great stuff he did in his native land that people don´t know much about. Let´s not even get into the whole "City on Fire"/"Reservoir Dogs" crap. Ringo Lam is one fine filmmaker, so I knew he would get things done as far as the direction is concerned. No surprise, he did pull this one off. Brilliantly, I might add. My real concern was Van Damme. He doesn´t even speak English that well to begin with. I was aware of his limitations, so I didn´t think I would be surprised. I was. I´m not gonna get into the plot too much(the title makes it perfectly clear that the movie is about cloning). Van Damme plays more than one character, and while the actual hero of the flick is standard Van Damme fare, his performance as the clone is completely new ground for the tiny Belgian. It´s kinda cool to see this innocent wanderer, discovering the world around him, and Van Damme makes the whole thing believable, not laughable, which I think is pretty fuckin´ hard work.

The plot gets kinda tedious, when it deals with the serial killer stuff, a guy who has a very efficient way of disposing individuals. No new territory here, the killer is actually a gimmick, a cool one, but nothing more than a novelty act. Michael Rooker("Henry , Portrait of a Serial Killer"), plays a part that resembles the one he did in "Replacement Killers", a cop, nothing added to this type of role either.

As far as the tone of the movie is concerned, Lam plays it straight, really serious some times. It feels more like a thriller than an action flick, no huge martial arts numbers, just enough to get through.

All in all a good time, I recommend it. Artisan has a winner in their hands for U.S. distribution, so I hope they don´t screw it up.

"Minha Vida em Suas Mãos"(2001)(*My Life in Your Hands)

Director: José Antônio Fernandez Garcia

I had no fun whatsoever watching this one over the weekend here in São Paulo. This is one of those personal projects an actor takes under his/her wing, in order to get it done the way they want it. Sometimes that´s a good thing, and sometimes that can lead to serious problems. This is one of the bad examples of a personal project. The plot goes something along the lines of: woman gets mugged, falls in love with the criminal and they have a forbidden affair.

Actress Maria Zilda Bethlem felt this story was dear to her heart. See, this is total chick flick material. Surprise, surprise, it is a chick flick. Imagine if a forty year old woman who wanted to make a movie about one of her sex fantasies, actually got to make that movie. Imagine no more, the mess is right here. They even throw in some social commentary, about life in the big city, two desperate souls finding each other, blah, blah, blah. What a bunch of crap. They had no idea how to make this movie a bit less obvious, it is after all about a hunky criminal screwing a lonely old fart, so they tried to make it relevant, adding some sort of statement. You see, they wanted a skin flick with a message. Isn´t that just about one of the worse concepts for a film you´ve ever heard? Be honest, come on.

I won´t waste my time, or yours for that matter, so my advice is stay away from this one.

That´s it for me this week.

Coffin Joe Jr. says: bye.