To perform in a film is cool. At any degree, for any second, it is cool. Why? I'm not entirely sure, but I filmed my first scene in Robert Rodriguez's latest on Monday, and well I'm excited.
The day didn't really start, I had a ton of news to put up on the site, and I didn't go to sleep the day before, so I was running on no sleep when Quint arrived to take my sister and myself to the set. Quint, Dannie and I all hop in the Quint-mobile and head in a direct fashion to the set of Robert's latest. I'm dying to get to set, I'm dying to be with a crew.
We are the first to arrive at the parking area for extras. As soon as the ol Herrington High School Buses arrived, we hop aboard. Dannie is dead tired, exhausted from a 4 hour sleep. I tell her she needs to be like me and never sleep. She thinks I'm a psycho. She's probably right.
When we arrive, I realize I have to do all the real extra stuff today. I'm to be a teacher, actually THE teacher today. So I fill out the forms, the social security info, the address info, etc... I head to get my clothes approved at costume. The Costume lady takes a look at me and says I'm perfect. Ahhhhhh, what a wonderful thing to say. She doesn't give me her phone number though. Hmmm must of meant the clothes.
So I'm then off to do HAIR and MAKE UP. When I get to HAIR this incredibly cute HAIR-GIRL calls me over. She is all excited that she is doing my hair, because I'm Harry Knowles and she reads my site all the time. Let me paint a picture of who this was. Picture a girl that would be adorable in the 1950's, that style hair that style make up and that style clothes. She had retro down, and ya just had to love it. Meanwhile, I'm looking at myself in the laid back inclined mirror, and as she starts putting this gel stuff in my hair, running her outstretched fingers through my hair, I began to smile.
The reflection was making me look a little holy-ish. You know how Jesus' hair looks in all the paintings, well that's what she was doing to my hair, it looked pretty cool. I'd adopt that... 'I am one am I' look upon my face and talk about being the film teacher, getting into that whole zen of acting bit. Yeah I'm full of it.
I leave there for MAKE UP. When I get in there, the lady sets to work putting a foundation on my face. First off, I've never had this done to me before. It's very odd having someone push on your face, wiping something there. Ya wanna push them away and use your sleeve to wipe it off, but ya don't. The wedge sponge was soft and interesting feeling. Weird sensation.
After MAKE UP I didn't know where to go so I casually walked over to where they were filming. Actually they were just setting up the first set up of the day. This was the last shot of the film. I looked around for an Aztec Temple, but I couldn't find one. This was when I realized that I couldn't tell yall anything about who was being filmed, what was being filmed, or how the scene was so... whatever that the mother of one of the actors was wringing and misshaping a cup while her son/daughter was doing and enduring what she or he had to endure. It really was torturous to watch your son or daughter put through those motions. And it took a ton of takes to nail right.
Meanwhile, Dannie had worked up the nerve to come up to me. Yeah, kinda odd her being afraid to come up to me, but you see I stand where all the chairs have names on them and where the monitors are. She stands with the large crowd of extras, and being the shy girl she always is, she was afraid to break ranks, but seeing her brother in place... well she came up, and stayed VERY close, looking over her shoulder for the inevitable PA that would haul her back to the world of extras. I tell her she isn’t going to be killed and to stop walking so close. That’s when we see LEVI the shaggy dog of Elijah Wood walking around. Dannie, being the ever ‘oooooooooh he’sssss soooooooooo cuuuuuuuttttttttteeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ girlie girl, tries to pet the beast. The dog, being a smart dog, was afraid of my sister, who literally is the embodiment of all things evil, and ran away and avoided her at all costs. The dog would hide between stars, under their chairs, behind screens, trees and every other tangible thing to keep him away from Dannie.
While we were awaiting a crane shot to be arranged, Robert came over. At last I saw the Robert I’ve been awaiting to see on set. Dressed in a dirty ol sweatshirt, scuffy looking levis, well worn shoes and finally the bandana. He had a look in his eye as if he were contemplating the next shot, as if it had not yet been decided. Oh yeah, and then there was the coup de grace... the guitar. Robert had the guitar cuddled in his arms, one hand delicately teasing the bridge, and the other strumming and picking. Like Captain Quigs steel balls he rolled about in his hands, Robert played with his guitar, placing him at ease like Linus’ blanket, but oooooh sooo much coooler. Robert came over to chat. We talked about his editing of the ‘opening titles’ and how cool it came out.
We started talking about filmmaking, about how much we love it. From time to time his AD comes over to discuss the set ups, the ideas on future shots. Robert strums the guitar and discusses what is happening on his mind’s eye. From time to time his hands leave his guitar to create the magical rectangle and how the camera will move through it.
Meanwhile, I begin talking with Elijah Wood about stuff. He asks about the Prequels, he wanted me to tell him stuff that’s not on the site. He wanted to hear what I thought of the project, how the kid playing Anakin was, what was right and what was wrong. Basically I tell him my personal belief about the project based on all that I have seen. (WHICH IS A LOT) I tell him while I believe it will blow most people away, I don’t believe it will be a Star Wars film in the sense that we know a Star Wars film. I might be 100% off on this, BUT the ships don’t look like the belong in the Star Wars universe I know. The aliens don’t look like Star Wars aliens, and the robots have a completely different and higher tech feel than the ones in the films we know and love. Of course, I tell him that all my problems may be answered in the subsequent films, but that as I stand right now, I don’t have 100% faith anymore. I have severe doubts as to how good the film will be. However, I hope and pray that George pulls it off. If this movie were to suck, then there is no telling how heart broken the fans and geeks of the world will be. It would be like the Challenger disaster. People would stop looking up for a while.
Around this time Quint arrived. He was eavesdropping on the conversation and both he and Elijah had a bit of a disappointed look on their face. Wanting to cheer them up I told them about ARMAGEDDON which is closer at hand, and some of the cool stuff that will be coming from PLEASANTVILLE and WHAT DREAMS MAY COME and SAVING PRIVATE RYAN. Their minds wandered from the dire feelings I have about Episode One and they were thinking of other things. Quint began talking to Elijah about interviewing him and bringing him to a film party I’m going to be having at my house this weekend. Elijah’s eyes widened at the thought of attending a film party at my house. Yes, he is a geek, which I think is something that hasn’t really come across in his films. He has a bead of enthusiasm and intelligence that I think most directors don’t let him use. I really have to say that I have been quite impressed with Elijah in terms of film saavy. He really is a perceptive fella and far more ‘adult’ than he’s been given a chance to show.
Then Robert came over and told me he was going to use Dannie as ‘the water fountain girl’. Robert then got in the mighty crane machine to film this one huge shot. It really is odd to see a crane work. Ultimately you have two guys in the crow’s nest with the big ol Panavision camera, and then you have one guy that raises them up and pulls the device. There are all these weights that create a counter balance. It really is cool. I can’t believe just one dude raises them up.
After that shot, Robert takes off to set up an interior scene. I follow behind like the chihuahua that I am. First off the interior of the school is so dang creepy. The walls have this ancient ‘grazing’ (I think that’s the word). Millions of jigsaw cracks separating each aged piece of paint. This is the school John Carpenter should have shot VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED at. The sheer weight of atmosphere at this place is awesome. You just know something ain’t right. This place is too creepy. The odd white, yellow and maroon walls just create a strong desire to... be outside. This is when I am told I am to teach a class in a shot. Robert says we will be weird looking. Hmmm...
I begin getting closer to the walls, I really think someone should get in here with a macro lens and take a lot of close ups of this ‘grazing’ of the white paint, and use it as the wallpaper of the “UNTITLED” website whenever that goes up. It automatically creeps you out. Then Robert takes me on a tour of the BIOLOGY ROOM. This is.. without a doubt the creepiest BIOLOGY ROOM ever. All the half mans, dead snakes in jars, dead pigs in jars, eyeballs in jars, brains in jars, Black Scorpions, Tarantulas, Centipedes, skinned hand models, half heads... CREEPY. Every table has some sort of sick looking something. An old rotting stuffed iguana, strange bones, a pelvis or two, a skeleton with a beret and a cigarette. BEWARE... you don’t want to take biology in this room.
Then Robert's A.D. arrives and away he goes. Me... well I continue playing with all the groovy stuff in the Biology room. Besides, there is this gigantic air conditioner worm in the room pumping coolness into this cool school. Then I began searching for Robert again. Through the halls there are people setting up lights, painting things, building things. Putting touches on this and that, adding grime here, while cleaning this. A good 25 people moving things and contributing, and with no yelling or screaming. Tis a thing of beauty.
I leave the building to see Robert directing outside. Damn that guy moves around! I head over only to see MY SISTER at a water fountain with a line of 60 or so extras behind her. She is to drink and then look strangely, intensley and with a 'EAT SHIT ASSHOLE' look in her eyes. Robert is shooting it in slow motion.
Coooooooooooooooooooooooooool, Robert's shooting my sister in Slo-Mo!!! Linder should of grabbed her when he had the chance. (hee hee hee) After about 5 takes the shot is done. Robert shows me the shot and it looks killer. My sister's eyes kick ass. She looks like she'd stomp some serious ass. But in reality she's a wuss, wow she was acting cool in that shot.
Then I follow Robert back over to the interior set up. Tons of extras (high schoolers) fill the halls, Quint follows me into a classroom, along with Mr. Sideburns. They are inside awaiting direction and ACTION. I decide to give them a secret. I tell them to play that Carpenter heartbeat soundtrack in their heads during the shot sequence. We begin doing a 'bummm bummmm.........bummmm bummmmmm............bummmmmm...bummmmmm....." rhythm to put them in the mood. Then as ACTION is called Quint goes out. And guess what, because he knew he was in a Carpenter film, the steady-cam stayed with him, making him a featured extra in the shot. State of mind, my friend, state of mind. It was the mental Carpenter music.
THEN WE BROKE FOR LUNCH.
During lunch I hung out with Robert's brother. We are both make-up freaks (of the Savini/Bottin School of Gore), and we swap stories back and forth. Turns out he doesn't live that far from me, and we share a whole lot of the same interests. Cool. I wonder if all of Robert's siblings are as cool. Wow that would be a whole lot of coolness being raised under one roof.
After scarfing down my Portabello Mushrooms and Spinach I returned to set to discover my shot was next. I was being a creepy teacher, one that doesn't utter a word, but I could feel creepy music. The students all had their arms raised in a Nazi-esque fashion, till I chose one. It was Computer Class, and mentally I was asking about fave Porn web sites, and they all had an answer. It required walking skills, mime skills and the ability of a collective of eyes staring at me. Creepy shot. Hope it makes it.
Then I was done, I was finished, I was safe. I didn't screw up, Robert didn't kill me, and I don't have a chance to screw up for a couple more weeks, when I'm in a sequence with Salma, Famke, John Stewart, Robert Patrick, Piper Laurie, Etc... That's gonna be sooooo cool. I'll tell ya all about that.
The rest of the day was spent talking with Elijah Wood's mother about Elijah's career, about where he needs to go, what sort of image he needs, and so on. A very interesting conversation. It went on for hours.
Anyway, here's the first picture from the set of the film, and of course it's of me. It was
taken by continuity people and it serves to prove I was on set. Behind me in the doorway
is Enrique Chediak, the Director of Photography on the film. And the guy in the
foreground is an extra playing a football player. So there ya go.... It should be a while
before my next set report, till then enjoy...
