Hey folks, Harry here... well, I saw Patrick Swayze in DONNIE DARKO this year already... he was really quite perfect in that film, but it is unfortunate to hear that this movie with so much talent, sounds like a misstep... but this is only one fella... maybe it taint so bad afterall... we'll see....
Hello Harr, I've written here before, you posted, cool, thanks. Now I'm writing about the Test screening of Wakin Up In Reno, which isn't really cool news, but whatever, it's movie news, which could be considered cool in any context. All right, so, I got this little handout from my roomate about going to the test screening. Cool, I am quite a movie freak, this one's free, I'm there. The bad thing is the director is not named. I'm thinking, this movie is going to blow, but then I see it's got a pretty cool cast. Charlize Theron, I want to have sex with her and one day I will after she stars in my movie, Billy Bob Thorton, the coolest hick I've ever seen, Natasha Richardson, never really liked her she was okay in Nell but nothing else, and finally, Patrick Swayze, what the fuck is he doing in a romantic comedy? What the hell happened to him? This is the guy that was money in the Outsiders, Road House, and Point Break. This is fucking Bodhi man, I want him the fuck back. Who goes from a character like Bodhi, to fucking Max Lowe in City of Joy. And then continues to decimate his career and humilate himself with Father Hood, and Tall Tale, and Three Wishes--FUCK! And Too Wong Foo. God. I guess Black Dog was kinda cool. But now he's doing a supporting role in fucking Wakin Up In Reno? What the fuck? Sack up Swayze, return to your roots. Come back Bodhi, come back. I feel like the kid from Eight Men Out, say it ain't so Joe, say it ain't so. I'm sad now.
Okay, I get to the movie theatre, which is Edwards Long Beach 26, really nice theatre. There's a line waiting to get in, I got there a little late. People are standing around with clipboards trying to look important, not really doing anything. Some people start to pull people out of the line, mostly couples and women. Okay, understandable, Romantic Comedy. But, I have this really bad feeling that this movie is just going to blow. This deep gut feeling. Then I get inside and see the Lord of the Rings poster, okay I feel better, wish I was seeing that movie. I thought I'd never say this but Elijah Wood, you're fucking money. All right, I'm a little pumped, free movie, test screening, sweet. So I get up to the front of the line, "how old are you?" "18." Then some small little twenty something asks me "what's you're occupation?" "student." "You're major?" "Psychology." Now, I'm a rabid film freak, and I am a film major one day I will be making movies ten times better than the one I am about to see. So after saying Psychology I felt like a bit of a traitor. But, that was the only way I could get in.
Okay, I get into the theatre, and people are trying to seat people like we can't find one or something. They actually wouldn't let me just find a seat. I get placed way in the back in the far right hand corner, the worst seat in the house. After about twenty minutes the lights go down, and I get that before movie feeling. You know. It doesn't matter what movie, it's just this feeling, this great excitement, and I can't calm down.
The movie starts out with the new Miramax logo which looked pretty cool, and then some cool music accompanying it. All right. Then Natasha Richardson's voice comes in. All of a sudden I'm digging this movie, a Romantic Comedy with a voiceover. Cool. The title comes up, fairly cheesy, trying to make it look like Reno with lights and blue shit. Stupid. Then we start with the intros. There's Billy Bob saying some few lines, then it freezes and his character name comes up. Kinda cool, it's starting to become a bit overused, but for a romantic comedy it's cool. Okay, so the cool music ran through the beginning and the intros were cool. Billy Bob is a car salesman who is married to Natasha, but is fucking Charlize who is married to Patrick Swayze. All right, cool. Then they go on a road trip to Reno so that Charlize and Swayze can renew their wedding vows. I knew the rest of the plot from there on out. This is possibly the most predictable movie I've ever seen, save Being John Malcovich. (settle down, just a joke). It really was. And once the conflict came, which really was the only strong point of the movie, I already knew exactly what was going to happen. The movie did have some funny moments, but it just sucked so much ass. These characters' relationships were totally undeveloped and the ending feels like it was tacked on because the writer had no where else to go. This was all around a very poor effort with like no talent involved, at least none that showed it.
And fucking Patrick Swayze, come on man. The ending of this movie was so . . . fucking . . . bad. I really wanted to throw things. All right, well that's it, the movie sucked, it's gonna bomb, and I hope no one cares.
Jimmy Conway
