Well folks yesterday I had my first visit to the Robert Rodriguez/Kevin Williamson movie currently going under the non-title of THE UNTITLED. In fact Robert has even made a fun trailer for the film based on some video rehearsals that he's been doing for a couple of weeks now. It incorporates the voice over from that classic PHANTASM trailer. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. Here is my epic story of visiting a Robert Rodriguez set for the first time....
Ahhhhh, pre-crack of dawn... 0515 in the morn... welcome to hell hour. Usually I go to bed right around now, but because Robert wanted to shoot a movie that focuses on a high school, well, it shoots all daylight long. Quint is on route to pick me and my sister up. Dannie, my sister normally known as my sister satan, is playing Tattooed Pierced Chick #2. She is so damn excited, nervous, that it is outrageous. You see the problem is she has read the script and she knows this movie is cooler than SCREAM, and she is going to play a cool extra. Not just a normal one, but one of those, hey she's cool looking- extras. She has no idea what she'll be called on to do, but she knows it will rule. For the last 2 weeks she's been acting like a diva, strutting around saying, "I'M gonna BE a STAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" Strangling is considered homicide, I must remember that.
Anyway, I get together my group of CDs that I'll listen to during the shoot today. You know... mood music. Stuff like Carpenter's Escape from New York, Halloween, The Fog, etc... I also have Bryan Tyler's Six String Samurai, the score to Heavy Metal, etc... Some good music for a horror film, eh? My sister gets together her clothes, her book of Vargas art and a sketch pad. She's studying to be an artist in the style of Olivia or Dave Stevens. Yeah, she's pretty cool.
When Quint arrives we all leave, knowing full well that today is going to be... one of those COOL days where we sweat like pigs and praise Allah for it. I mean, listen folks, I've known Robert for well on a year now, and I've never seen the man actually do what Robert Rodriguez does. I mean, I've seen him paint models, play laser discs, cook pizza and spaghetti, but I ain't ever seen the man direct a movie. I'm excited. I'm no longer a friend, I'm a geek.
As we drive down, Quint puts in his 'mood' music, the theme from Halloween. He then goes on the longest wild goose chase of a way to get to Congress Ave I've ever seen. I mean, he drove at least seventy miles out of his way. I don't know, maybe he just likes wild roundabout trips into no general location, but as for me. I wanted to get to the set.
We finally get to the EXTRAS PARKING, where we get out and get on the HERRINGTON HIGH SCHOOL BUSES. This is the High School in the movie. The front sides have this school logo, which was designed by Madman himself, Mike Allred. It is a cool as hell hornet, that you'll want on the side of those cool lighters that you flip the top of. In fact this logo belongs on the nosecone of a B-52 bomber. It rocks!
Annnnnyway, I climb into the HERRINGTON HIGH SCHOOL BUS, music from Assault on Precinct 13 is piped into my ears, the weird dark, yet glow of the pre-dawn is the perfect horror lighting on all the bright young (15-18 year old) faces. I'm almost reminded of THE SWEET HEREAFTER, and felt like getting off, but I knew I was not fated for the depths of a frozen lake, but for the set of a Robert Rodriguez film.
The kids are talking about the movie, it's a high school football movie, this is the autobiography of Robert Rodriguez growing up in a San Antonio high school, IT IS AN ALIEN MOVIE YOU IDIOTS, one kid says. Hmmmmm... I smile. I love being on a bus of uninformed people. It kinda makes you wonder if any of these people are the type to grow up to protest violent films, yet in their youth they would smile, act and work their young asses off to be in a movie, any movie. You can see the magic spell woven into their eyes, that sense that they are going to be discovered, that they have that special something. They have the dream still there in their eyes, having just awoken from their names in lights, above the title marquees. Ahhhhh.... the look of an extra in the predawn light.
It's a short drive, just a couple of blocks, but in that time, my sister and I begin singing Barbara Mandrell songs and Kenny Rogers tunes and laughing. WHAT!!!! HARRY HAS GONE INSANE!!!! No, no. Calm down. I've not gone insane, you see, the last time I was on a school bus I was in High School, and I would wake up every morning at 0500 hours and board a bus with my sister in far North Texas in the land of Seymour. On this bus, me and a girl named Debbie would sing to all the younger kids, the popular songs of the time. Which were always country western in this town. We would act out skits, and distract ourselves from the 3 hour bus trip every morning. So those songs are memories of a simple time. But quickly we arrived at the EXTRAS DEPARTURE POINT.
A flood of kids break forth out of the bus, their backpacks and extra clothes, one big gruff fella even has a pillow... aaaawwwwww, ain't that cute? Everyone is herded by a PA that leads us around like cattle, getting us in the correct lines. My sister is having mild panic attacks as is Quint, both are young scrubs turned loose into the cruel world of Extras Wrangling. Everyone is nice, noone is screaming. They know they are working a bunch of fragile egoed kids and they are playing with mittens upon their hands. The first thing they do is have all the extras fill out forms for compensatory reasons, these kids are gonna pull down $75 dollars a day to sit, stand, walk around, play, and live the glamour life. Most of these younguns are here for 7 days, during which they'll be brighteyed and bushy tailed.
After the paper work, the costume people arrive to appraise their choices in clothing. No too dark, too light, not enough cleavage, too much belly, Not that, yes that's fine.... I like those pants, I hate that top, that jewelry is great, but the hair's all wrong, go to hair and make up. Wow. These costume people know exactly what they want, and they get it.
At this point Quint is separated from Dannie and I, because Dannie is a 'special' extra. Tattooed Pierced Chick #2, who's number 1? I don't yet know, but we'll learn soon enough I figure.
Dannie is sent to change out of her pants, she gets made up with heroin eye shadow and has her eyebrows darkened so they may be seen. They wash out some of her freckles and they darken her cheeks. They give her slutty lips and now my sister is looking slutty. Kinda scary thought really.
Next Dannie and I go to the Main Make Up trailer. In here they have the girl playing Stokely (Clea DuVall) and in HAIR they have the girl who is playing Delilah (a beautiful young actress that I believe Robert told me was Brazilian, but I might be mistakened) and my sister. The make-up guys sit her down and begin choosing which tattoos to give her and which ones to not give her. They give her a cool armband tattoo and a snake tattoo and a weird scarab-esque tattoo. Dannie is freaking out behind her calm cool and sharp demeanor. Inside she's screaming, "WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE TOUCHING ME!!! HOLY SHIT I'M GETTING A COOL TATTOO!!!" But on the outside she has that, yeah, I belong in the make-up trailer with the other stars.
It's at this point that we learn that the #1 Tattooed Pierced Chick is Robert's own sister, in fact the sister that stars in BEDHEAD!!!! Wow. That's cool, both me and Robert's sisters are going to be on screen together. That's pretty dang cool. That's about as groovy as it gets.
Next Dannie goes to hair, where they braid and mud up her hair. Meanwhile Stokely and Delilah are being readied for the camera with make-up and hair. Stokely is being made to look like "I vant to be left alone" and Delilah is having her hair done to look perfect, the very model of a social animal. From watching my sister in the mirror and her stolen glances of Stokely I can tell.... she wants to fall to Stokely's feet and tell her just how cool she is. You see Dannie knows Stokely, she's read the script, and Stokely is very much just like her. Remember, when you see this movie, the character of Stokely and my sister are very much alike.
Next Dannie is off to wardrobe, when I bump into Robert's assistant Kristi (I think), she used to work at the Austin Film Society and the Alamo Drafthouse. Hmmmm... prerequisites for success? Hmmmmm... We talk a little, but she is on her way to the set, that's when I spot Elizabeth, Robert's wife and producer of this film. She lights up and greets me with a hug. Elizabeth is quite simply the picture of a good person in the industry. She knows her stuff, but it hasn't changed her or made her evil in any way shape or form. She is real not reel. We talk about how excited my sister is, and she tells me she is babysitting Robert's sister today too. So we bond in that, 'hey we just bonded' kind of way. Then I head for the set, leaving my sister to the cruel yet kind hands of the PAs and Extras Wranglers.
It's a bit of a hike from the base camp to the 'set' and it takes my diminishing carcass (I've lost 40 pounds) a while to get there. When I arrive, I see they are filming the opening titles of the film. The introduction if you will to Herrington High. So I sit on the curb across the street from Herrington High. I put on my Carpenter Compilation CD and watch Robert Direct. He's got his trademark bandana and a MADMAN lightning bolt exclamation mark T-Shirt on. He's behind the camera, behind the playback monitors, he's telling kids what to do, and he's rethinking shots and planning ahead. Keeping the whole sequence in his head, what kids are doing in the background, foreground and midground. Ahhh, the director.
Meanwhile, all this innocent high school action has quite a foreboding tone to it, due to the Halloween music that is now playing between my ears. I'm looking for that tan-ish volkswagon with the insane asylum sticker on the side. That's when I spot Quint... poor Quint. He's already at work. I can read his mind, "oh m.m. my ga ga gawd, I'm in the movie, in the movie in the movie," he's like Robby the Robot pointing a simple blaster at Leslie Nielson, he's stuck in a conflicting thought. Meanwhile, when the word ACTION is said, he is to go up the stairs, all 33 of them. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Not because he's doing it wrong, but because Robert is shooting various things of which he is part of the background. Quint doesn't yet know it, but he's going to rue those stairs, a chubby geek is not the greatest thing to be when an endless Dr Seussian stair way is before you.
That's when I catch a glance of a shaggy dog, right out of Shaggy Dog D.A., and I see that the lady walking this glorious long haired beastee is headed my way. About this time the rocking beat of THEY LIVE is playing, and when she reaches me she shakes my hand and says with a very pleasant tone, "Nice to meet you Harry, I'm Elijah Wood's mother." I return the good morning style greeting, and then I'm instantly met by a young girl that says, "and I'm Elijah's sister."
Sometimes you feel like you are on another planet. Let me see if I can explain just how absurd it is to sit on a curb, across from Robert Rodriguez shooting the opening titles of his film, listening to John Carpenter's THEY LIVE score, and meeting Elijah Wood's Mother, Sister and his shaggy dog. I smile, shake my head a little, and think, "Yup, one of them days."
Next various crew members notice me sitting on the curb, watching them shoot. Each of them come over to greet me. The various PAs, the Set Dressers, the AD, and then Elizabeth stands behind me. I can sense her, a feeling of warmth. I turn around and sure enough there she is. Meanwhile, I am listening to THE FOG, which is particularly creepy as the kids in the jeep drive by, the two football players throw the ball, the kids play chess on the mount of school sign, the couple leaning against the tree talking, the gang of football players waxing on macholy, and then all those dang happy go lucky kids, the nerds, the mexican kid with the guitar case, the art student with a portfolio, all repeating the same moves, the same pseudo laffs and the same hops skips and jumps. All to John Carpenter music on my Discman. Hmmmmm... scary.
After the shot is wrapped, Robert notices me and smiles. He starts across the street, and I get off my well cushioned butt. He looks happier than just about anytime I've seen him. He is in his hot bath, that place in which he is comfortable. He has that cool smile, and he comes up and we chat about how things are going. He's happy as can be. He can't wait to get to the fun stuff, the monsters and scary creepy stuff. Right now, he's just getting the juices going. This is all foreplay. Oh, and he apologizes in advance for how bored I'll be today. Funny, I seem to remember Michael Bay telling me the same thing once. Hmmmm....
At this point I pick up my gear and join Robert with the crew. I meet his Director of Photography, Enrique Chediak, who I first met at SXSW. He was the DP on REMEMBERING SEX, a film with beautiful cinematography. You might remember Enrique's work from the Morgan Freeman directed film, HURRICANE STREETS. He won the Cinematography award at Sundance in 1997. Robert's regular DP is working with Renny Harlin on his next project.
Now they brought in the weird counter balance crane thingee with two seats and a camera mount on one end. When they were preparing it, I heard Robert tell Enrique, "You do this shot," and smiling. That's when Robert told me to get on the playback monitors, and I began to see his and Enrique's shots. It was here I stayed for quite some time. It was really cool to be standing behind Robert as he watched the monitors, watching the way the final shots will look. Instant dailies. Then Robert traded places with Enrique and went up into the great crane device. I continued to watch the monitors closely. Then when I got an idea of the shot, I went out to see Robert do his thing. I got right at the bottom of the shot, the place he pans down to. From that locale I could see the smile on his face, and a completely different angle on a scene in the movie. Robert would have the background people do the shot, then do it in twice the speed. Or as Lucas says, "Faster and More Intense." Ahhh, this was cool. The frisbee kids, and the others. All being captured by Robert's camera.
Then he set up two shots to be shot, simultaneously. A tracking shot and a steadicam shot. For the steadicam, he showed the steadicam operator a video he shot, explaining exactly what he wanted. The guy understood. Meanwhile track was being laid, little wood wedges were placed all along the track to stabilize it. This was a great machine. I watched as the crew went about their jobs, directing a hundred or so under 18 year olds, working to get the shot set up, the sound ready, the prop master fretting about a detail, and Zeke's (Josh Hartnett) car. This car is soooooooooooo cool. I mean as soon as you see it, you'll go... THAT'S A COOOOOOL CAR!!! In fact, while the crew was readying the shot, I was talking to the Miramax Rep. He was telling me all about what sets he liked being on (MIMIC being his fave) when out of the corner of my eye, I caught a brief glimpse of the Zeke-mobile. This thing has MEGACOOL written all over it. It's going to make your mouth hang loose. I want it. And it's going to have the most famous trunk since White Heat and Repoman.
Right after Robert finished the expansive establishing shots of the school I felt a slow rumbling in my stomach, and I began to get the feeling like I needed to get to the restroom. I ask a Grip for directions to the nearest bathroom and he tells me. I begin to get a bad feeling. I tighten up and begin heading to the bathroom. About this very instant they dismiss the extras for a break, several of them run...RUN to the bathroom. Oh No. As I round the corner, I see two portapotties and 30 people. Oh dear god, this ain't happening, this ain't happening man...
I stand, shifting weight from one foot to the other, knowing, sensing something wrong with the internal processes, I just sway back and forth, praying that I have enough time. Seconds like hours. Everybody is happy, they're on a movie set, and most of them are oblivious to the wait, but there is something wrong with me. Sweat, cold sweat begins beading up upon my brow as I realize... I'm doomed. I ain't gonna make it... I shut my eyes and begin singing the lyrics to the Betty Boop song "CRAZY TOWN". 'This world is full of foolish facts, I'm sure you will agree, so we put them in rhyme and learned this melody. Foolish facts, foolish facts, silly things and silly acts, but we have nothing else to do, so let's go craaaazy" I open my eyes, and I'm next, I haven't had an accident. I'm gonna make it, then the rumble comes, the scary rumble. That forbiding death rumble. Then all of a sudden the door swings open, I begin to rush towards the portapotty to push the.. the... beautiful young girl. She had on overalls, really cute overalls with a cartoon froggy with red blush upon it's cheeks. She had dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes. She looked at me and smiled. Then I thought, "Oh shit, Dr Jones, no time for love," and rushed into the portapotty, and sat down as... I EXPLODED. I knew what it was to be a BLACK KAT FIRECRACKER. I was relieved that I made it. That I had survived. Then I realized that what was happening to me was DIARRHEA, the touristas, montezuma's revenge, the hershey flow, I was doomed. This was just the beginning of my battle. This wasn't going to end, here, now, upon this potty. Oh no, this was going to be happening all day.
What is it with me and movie sets. Armageddon had that zipper/small bathroom incident, and now I am ill. After I finish my sickly duties, I escape to head to the supply truck. The truck with food, liquids and medicine. I begin my desperate search for a cure. For Pepto. However, just as I spot it, one of the crew walks up saying "Hi" and wanting to strike up a conversation. Not wanting to be rude, I talk back. He fixes himself a sandwich and asks if I want some water. I say sure and we walk back to set. I hope my problems are over, as I see that they have set up a new shot.
This time they are setting up a bit of an action scene involving Elijah Wood and a high school bully. Once again Robert is all over the sequence. Coaching Elijah, the bully, the guy with the mat, etc... This is when I notice my sister and Robert's sister. They are both standing and sitting respectively beside the right hand column of the school entrance. Robert's sister has this killer neck tattoo and has this really great nose ring chain to the ear bit that's killer.
Then I notice that Delilah is with a group of cheerleaders, and that Stan (Shawn Hatosy) is playing catch, that Stokely is behind a bus, that there are many scenes ready to happen that I have read about. All happening simultaneously... no strike that sequentially. That is when I realize that bodily functions aside, what I was witnessing would be one of the great High School openings. This was going to be like watching the opening of FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH being filmed. It was a classic high school genre opening. The point where you get introduced to absolutely everything you need to know about everything at Herringten High.
And I realized what we would be shooting for the day. We would be shooting the opening titles. Coooooool. You ever seen Robert's opening titles, they are always tooo cool. And this would be no different. I don't want to spoil the overall surprise of seeing it the first time, but from watching the monitors in their full contrast adjusted glory, I knew. I knew this was going to be special. You'll see this Christmas.
Right after the Elijah stunt, which included the pad being shoved too far beneath him, and him hitting the pavement with his elbow and getting a nasty little scrape. He didn't cry or whimper or complain a bit. He just shrugged it off and did the shot again. After Robert got all the coverage just right, we broke for lunch.
I headed for the van, as did some of the female cast, Elijah and Elizabeth. As I sat down in the van next to the young female stars, my inner rumbling began again. No... no.... no.... please. Not in the van. Not next to mega babes of the future. Nooooooooooooooo. It can't happen here. Not with Elijah asking about SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, no. So instead I concentrate on chatting with Elijah, who happens to be quite a good geek. He knows his films, and was curious about many. It was keeping my mind off of... more messy issues. So I talked. Both the girls were talking about something, I can't remember because I was concentrating on keeping everything where it should be.
As soon as I got to the feeding grounds, I rushed to the bathroom. Once again, narrowly averting certain doom. Boy, this whole diarrhea bit, was adding dramatic tension. And to have it while listening to Carpenter music... talk about horror... man... scary stuff.
I get my tray of food, which included steamed broccoli, cabbage, salmon and salad with no dressing. I go to sit down with Enrique (the DP) and we talk a bit about Ecuador, his home country. When Elijah and family sit down. Once again Elijah and I begin talking. This kid is pretty damn personable. We traded 'how we got started' stories. How we hate masses of media all asking the same stupid questions. I tell him about the idiotic questions I heard at the Dreamworks Media thingee, and he tells me about the ones he is anticipating from the DEEP IMPACT junket he has to do this weekend. I feel for the kid. I remember stumbling into that media center at Sundance. NUMBING!
His mom and sister take off, but Elijah and I keep talking. We're probably gonna get together and watch Six String Samurai, the Showest stuff from PLEASANTVILLE (absolutely the best looking movie coming out this year so far), and some other... unnamed goodies that Elijah dying to see. Soon though he's called away to be touched up by make-up and hair, and actually my stomach tells me I have to get back into the bathroom.
I realize I can never think it's a fart. Ya know? That sucks, to everytime, RUN to the bathroom. When I arrive back to set I see that Elijah is being bloodied up. COOOOL!!! CARO SYRUP AND RED DYE NUMBER 5!!!!!! Ahhhhh, the stuff with which movie magic is made of. I love it. This shot is pretty tough, it involve a character falling into frame, then panning up to track with another character and bumping into another, who then runs into the camera. A pretty tough assignment, but the young actors hit their marks like clockwork. Wow. I just love to see it done right.
The rest of the day is spent getting the other pieces of the main titles. There is a tons of bits going on in this part. A piece there and a piece here. Something outrageous, a bit of dialogue, something so natural, something unnatural. I spent my time running the playback system for a bit, messing with the prop truck, talking with extras, talking with stars, talking with painters, grips, lighting people, set dressers, etc. I was finding out that these people were cool, that these people were fun, that these people loved filmmaking. I posed for some gag photos, meeting past spies from other film sets, and finding out info about future films set here. Like the Tom Cruise film called SUSPECT ZERO, a damn good script once. I wonder where the rewrites have taken it? Hmmmm....
I had several more close calls, but I managed to survive the touristas, and have a great day on set. I drove back to Robert's trailer with him to watch the trailer he cut. It's not for public consumption, in fact it's just for him and the main cast. Something to get them excited, something to get him excited. At the end of the day, Robert was not drained, in fact he seemed at ease. He had something like 23 set ups today, that's a snail pace for him. He can't wait to get moving when most of the main cast arrives. Soon enough, soon enough. Then I'll be back to tell you what it's like to be on a set with 50+ set ups. An insane number by Hollywood standards. Robert is eager to move at Rodriguez speed.
Today was a blast, and not just in the portas, and I can't wait to film my first scene next week. Till then I'll let ya go.
