Next Saturday they repeat that troubling episode hosted by Tom Green. Week after is the Best of Molly Shannon. The WGA strike deadline is May 1. That means tonight’s Renee Zellweger-hosted SNL is very likely the season finale and we won’t be seeing another for a long, long time.
Guess we’d better watch it!
COLD OPENING: MARTY AND BOBBI MOHAN CULP AT H&R BLOCK
"Never, ever suggest to your auditor that they mind their own beeswax.” “Prepare to be H&R Rocked.” Shaggy and Bon Jovi! Shouldn’t Will Ferrell be like the biggest movie star in the world by now? Mostly harmless.
MONOLOGUE: RENEE ZELLWEGER
Renee reads from her own diary. ”In my heart, I will always be Renee Turdburger.” “I’m too shy to ask if he’s a kid or a midget.” “But if that bitch farts one more time and doesn’t own up to it, I’m gonna scream!” “If I wasn’t so sure he was gay, I’d swear he was hitting on me!” Funny!
SUBSHACK
”The only word that follows ‘healty’ is ‘appetite.’” Jared from the Subway commercials returns to a more fattening diet. It was interesting to see the entire cast in fat-makeup, but this commercial parody seemed way underwritten.
JERRY MAGUIRE II
"L. Ron Hubbard Almighty, this kid is huge!" "Let's put him to bed, then I'll complete you." Sequel plans contend with Jonathan Lipnicki's troubling growth spurt. Second fart joke within 22 minutes! Just because it's a one-joke premise doesn't mean it can't amuse...
HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
"Nobody watches this show anymore! Nobody!" "Now, Chris, you know I'm not a 10-year-old girl!" "No more snakey! We give you plane back." Paul Begala and Molly Ivans are pretty creepy! Mean and pointed and fun!
CHERYL & TERRY: A LOVE STORY
"Terry proposed, though he claims not to remember!" The wedding of the lead singer of a Kiss cover band goes horribly awry. Short but pithy.
TV FUNHOUSE: "SURVIVOR" ON "THE EARLY SHOW"
Martha Stewart brand poison makes its official debut as Bryant Gumbel considers his own career decline. Fair, but Reel Audio is not my favorite of the Funhouse segments. And would it kill them to add a puppet?
UPDATE
Will's Jacob Silj (the voice-immodulation guy) returns. "I've had impure thought about the hippie in that muppet band." "Frigid Pearshaped Harpie University." "Carson Daly, dropping to number three this week behind a male model and a crew guy on 'Josie and the Pussy Cats.'" "He is survived by his wife and two children." Perfectly adequate.
EVE AND GWEN STEFANI
You kids today, with your blue jeans and your rocking and rolling!
THEME DATE
"You just puked penguin all over me!" Chris Kattan tries to seduce Renee with the theme songs from "Alice," "Diff'rent Strokes" and "The Price is Right." Hey, maybe it's not Begala who's so creepy! More strange than funny, I fear.
INSANE DOCTOR
"Funny, I thought a couple of dopeheads like you would jump at a change to get high legally!" "After taking more than 400 photos of your choo-choo..." "Tape some old episodes of 'Benson!'" Hey, it's Molly Shannon! She's not on the show anymore! Was that the theme song from "SWAT" Will was humming? What was this sketch about again?
ONCE AGAIN, EVE!
She sings, she raps, she wears the pants she wore before she got the leg cast cut off! Sure hope they do another "SmileMasters" sketch next...
CLASSICAL LYRICS
"I'll bet you anything he loved to masturbate." Taco Bell commercials are grafted to Beethoven when the head of classical music label decides to put his stoner son to work writing lyrics for Johann Strauss, et al. Who among us could not have written this one in his sleep?
Tonight's classic SNL is Michael Jordan with musical guest Public Enemy.
HERC’S RATING FOR “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE” 502?
**1/2
The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:
**** better than most motion pictures
*** actually worth your valuable time
** as horrible as most stuff on TV
* makes you quietly pray for bulletins
I have a fever – and the only prescription that can cure me is more cowbell!!
