Hey folks, Harry here... Ya know, Joe Roth and Revolution Pictures really seems dead set to prove that what Joe Roth was responsible for while working for DISNEY was all those lame so lite-that scientist can't weigh it pieces of fluff... That he can approve quickly, dreck... just complete garbage concept films with subpar talent and no substance at all. We've seen TOMCATS much to our regret... next comes THE ANIMAL... ahem... yeah.... These are the movies that I never really understand... Films that from the get go look and sound like crap... that scream "BOMB"... but that a production company can turn around quickly... Well... why do that? Why not just make the good ones? Roth has some in development and in production. BLACKHAWK DOWN with Ridley Scott.... The Untitled John Hughes Romantic Cinderella style film set in Chicago... Patrick Shaene Duncan's ACTS OF COURAGE.... The John Hughes/Hillary Swank film CHAMBERMAID... The wonderfully inventive animated project GET LOST about freeing all the lost things in the world from an evil sock that controls everything, so that the lost things can go back to their rightful homes... They have some solid projects, but instead they rush out to release CRAP so that when we see their little logo we instantly prepare for the worst because they've already rubbed shit in our face. First impressions are important, and they gave us TOMCATS... next we get THE ANIMAL.... after that we get Joe Roth's own AMERICA'S SWEETHEART... which could work... it has an amazing cast, but inside Hollywood industry joke films tend to fail badly at the box office. So we may have to wait all the way to BLACKHAWK DOWN before we see a decent Revolution Film.... Doesn't sound to Revolutionary... Here's our look at THE ANIMAL... oh and a pic of the promo junk they send trying to inspire interest...
First off I want to congratulate you on being the most feared man in Hollywood. There were no less than 4 "Aint It Cool News" sweeps of the audience at the AMC Burbank, four people even got pulled from their seats on suspicion. Luckily my girl and I avoided detection.
Revolution must be worried about this one, after Tomcats tanked (though I liked it). No less than studio head Joe Roth was in attendance. I glimpsed him in the lobby giving the other studio lackeys slaps on each others back when the flick was over. They congratulated the survey company on picking the "perfect" audience - that is to say teenage/college age slacker guys like myself. Jeff Gourson, the editor was possibly also in attendance - I heard his name from a couple rows back talking about "Aint It Cool Spies".
The movie itself seemed to be practically completed, besides credits and some sound smoothing. The biggest problem is that we've seen this movie a million times now.
If you don't know, the story involves wannabe cop Rob Schneider who is involved in a terrible accident. Mad scientist Michael Caton puts him back together but with animal parts. Figured it out? Thought so. He goes through the predictable motions of swinging from trees like a monkey, chasing cats, and humping mailboxes. It's been done.
Unlike Deuce Bigalow which at least showcased Rob Schneider's schtick (the loser down on his luck), this movie tries to shoehorn him into a Farrely Brothers flick, but without any of their comic sensibilities. It's basically a series of humorous vignettes sewn together with an also ran love story. Survivor babe Colleen is nice on the eyes, but way out of her depth even in this piece of laugh candy. Doe eyed can only go so far, but she can come over to my place any time.
In closing, funny in bits, rather disjointed - wait for the video.
You can call me...
KRYPTON'S LAST
