Hey folks, Harry here with that tale-juice spreader of the seven seas, Quint and his latest foray into the dead trees of Hollywood. The latest is SHOWTIME a flick that Eddie Murphy and Robert DeNiro are making with Shanghai Noon director... Tom Dey... read and see if it is worth your time at all! Alrighty folks... here ya go...
Ahoy there folks, 'tis I the scriptworm and heavily crusty seaman, Quint, talkin' to ya' once more, this time about a script I just uncovered while out dragging for Cod. The script is called SHOWTIME and it's written by Keith Sharon with a bunch of revisions by Ben Ramsey, Vince McKewin, Alfred Gough and Miles Millar and I hear that both Eddie Murphy and Robert DeNiro are eyeing the script and Shanghai Noon director Tom Dey is onboard to direct. Not only that but Will Smith is onboard as a producer.
It's a buddy cop story in the vien of Lethal Weapon and Beverly Hills Cop with a touch of Scream thrown in... kinda... I know, I know. What the hell, right? Basically it's about a tough, older cop who has a bust messed up on him by a younger, wise-cracking cop who just happens to stumble on the scene. Some heroics on the older cop's part at the end of the bust gone bad lead a sassy female TV producer, on her last leg professionally in dire need of a new concept, to think of basing a reality TV show around this guy.
Of course it looks like DeNiro's gonna be playing the tough asskicking detective, Mitch Preston, and Eddie Murphy will be the younger smartass street cop, Trey Sellars, who end up being teamed up by Chase Renzi, that sassy TV producer. They are polar opposites (exactly what Chase was looking for), don't particularly like each other and have different reasons for agreeing to do this TV thing. Mitch is forced into it and Trey is a frustrated actor turned cop who sees a great gig.
They are out to catch Caesar Vargas, a bigtime hood who is in the process of bringing in lots of superguns that can unload about 700 .45 Magnum bullets in a minute. Pretty tough stuff, huh? So, they have to get over their problems with each other, their problems with being on this show and get the job done.
The script is extremely formulaic. There's a foot chase, a car chase, a boat chase, there's a big letdown for our heroes towards the end of the movie just before the climactic finale. You know, a downswing before the big upswing. That doesn't necessarily make it a bad script, though.
Where does the Scream influence come in, you ask? Well, when preparing for the "Reality Cop Show," Chase has her assistant, Annie, do research on a lot of buddy cop stuff... movies, TV Shows, etc, so there is always a reference to past buddy cop entertainment. Lethal Weapon, Starsky & Hutch, TJ Hooker... Some of the self-referencial stuff is a little overboard sometimes, but for the most part it doesn't feel outta place in the situations presented.
Other than a tad over referencial, it's got a problem with some one-liners, but none of them are on the Arnold level of over-the-top. The action scenes are inventive (guns that can fucking cut cars and people in half? Fuckin' A!), the characters are a little familiar, but fun nonetheless and there's a kick-fucking-ass cameo in it that by itself isn't of the jawdropping variety, but what that cameo does during the script (he/she doesn't just pop up once, but a few different times) is what makes it put a smile on my face.
As for DeNiro and Murphy, I think they'd play off each other nicely. The script would need to be altered slightly, though because the Trey Sellars (Murphy) character is played a bit younger than Mr. Murphy is and the Mitch Preston (DeNiro) character is also played younger. But reading it, I definitely saw both in those roles and since DeNiro's been doing some pretty good comedic work as of late (Rocky and Bullwinkle not withstanding), I think they have a good chance of sparking some definite chemistry together. The writing's there, at least.
And the other good news? It's R-rated material, boys and girls. Like I mentioned before, there's some hardcore action (people getting ripped in half by those huge .45 calibur bullets streaming outta them badass guns) and real (gasp) dialogue that doesn't hold back. It even has some fun twists on the genre. Not huge things, mind you, more like keeping the camera in a place where you'd usually see the action and let the action come into frame, not just cutting directly to it.
The draft I read was dated November 2, 2000. It could use a few more passes to clear away some of the cheeseball shit, but it definitely has something solid underneath some of that crap. Best movie ever? Hell no. Fun movie, potentially? Hell yes. I'm not the world's biggest fan of Shanghai Noon, but I'm sure Tom Dey has it in him to do this script justice. I mean the best part about Shanghai Noon was the back and forth between Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson, their chemistry drove the film. If he can get the same thing going between Murphy and DeNiro (or whoever ultimately gets cast in these parts) then his job is half finished.
So, there you have it, squirts. Take it for what you will. Will this script see the light of day? With Will Smith on as a producer, I'd imagine they'd have a tough time shelving this sucker, but it'll definitely be post-strike... whenever that will be. Keep yer eyes on the horizon, you bastages. I gots me some great treasures to be sharin' with you, arrgghhh... OK, a little over the top, but you get the message. Interviews, script reviews, set reports... oh my! 'Til then, squirts. Farewell and adieu.
-Quint
