ALONG CAME A SPIDER review

I hate ALONG CAME A SPIDER.

Why?

Because it wastes the talents of Lee Tamahori, Morgan Freeman, Monica Potter, Michael Wincott and two really fine child actors.

The film starts of and completes the first two acts of the story wonderfully. The pacing and direction exquisite… The story… the good vs evil game of cat-and-mouse were playing out nicely.

In my head I was dizzy with joy over the creation of the Michael Wincott character… he was wonderful, a great egomaniacal intelligent super criminal. Always steps ahead.

Then all of a sudden, the third act begins spiraling way out of control… betraying all of the characters’ established characters. The plot becomes clunky and pedestrian. Then they decide to pull the random double whammy switcheroo ala SCREAM 2… and all of a sudden… I was angry as hell for all the emotional investment I sunk into this thing. For the third act they chose the most run-of-the-mill nonsensical way out.

It is like the author/screenwriter/studio/director… WHOEVER, decided about 2/3rds through that they could no longer allow Michael Wincott’s character to be an evil mastermind and to reduce him to a whiny bitch of a character.

GOD I HATED THIS….

Here… right here in this movie, Alex Cross had the potential to have his Moriarty! His perfect evil chessmate.

An on-going character of wit, charm and style.

Instead of trying to pull off the CRIME OF THE CENTURY, they decide to just make it a pedestrian Kidnap story. AAAAAAGH!!!

Now I know Lee Tamahori’s MULHOLLAND FALLS was torn asunder by the test screening process, but this is a case where I suspect the original novel or the screenwriting process betrayed the film. This felt like too many cooks in the kitchen problems.

The worst type of movie for me is one that has promise and fails miserably. I get angrier at a MONKEY BONE or THE CLIENT or ALONG CAME A SPIDER because… frankly… they could have been really wonderful films.

I could go on about the film, but frankly I’m not interested on wasting your or my time. This film has wasted enough of my time.

The only reason to see this movie is for the TOMB RAIDER trailer and the first 2/3rds of the film. However, after that… A WORLD OF SHIT FOLLOWS!

I wanted to throw furniture at the screen. I wanted cut the film and discard the entire last act… I’d rather the film be completely unresolved and incomplete than see a lazy friggin sub-par excuse for a wrapped-up ending.

Study more Agatha Christie, Sherlock Holmes and the like… these are great mysteries and great intellectual puzzles. THIS ONE IS A BROKEN RUBIK’S CUBE!