Father Geek here, remember when this column started I said we'd be exploring Josh's quest for fame and fortune WARTS and all. Well folks, as I knew then Josh has found more than his share of warts, and worst. His story isn't new, for generations young guys and girls have followed their dreams to Hollywoodland only to have them smashed at the base of the cliffs that hold that famous sign aloft. Some return home and dream no more. Some fall ever downward and are destroyed in the plunge. Others shift their focus and just get by, and some... well, some make it. Our Geek hero's trek has just begun. What has it been 6 or 7 weeks now that we've been running this text version of some weird Reality TV episode? His dream is still secure, he's taken some big lumps, but he's still on his feet. It is after all still just round #1 in the fight for his life... Give him serious feedback in talkback below, or write him by Just Clicking Here if you want to get really personal. Well, enough of Father Geek, here's Josh aka Scrubbing Bubble...
The CRYSTAL SHIP...
So what's there to tell? What the hell did I do this week? I wrote a ton. I'm trying to wrap this new script so I can get it to Janna and Robin. I'm also working on another script with a buddy of mine who lives in Va Beach. And there's also another one cooking that I haven't started yet.
I drove out to Huntington Beach with Piet. It's nice there. I didn't see one bum. Amazing. As I write this the Nibblebox thing is on the verge of happening. We had a pitch meeting with them early this week. All they want is reality TV. I believe that reality TV is the devil and will lead this entire country to hell, but hey, if the price is right, I'm game now.
Haven't had the loot to see any new movies. I'll be pawning CDs so I can see Hannibal opening weekend.
WHOA!!! Stop the presses!
WOW!!! THINGS ARE STARTING TO COOK!!!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Nibblebox has given us a camera to shoot a presentation episode of our show....
BUM RUSH!!!!
That's right. I am officially a whore. I hate reality TV. I believe that reality TV will be the downfall of mankind and will probably lead to all kinds of madness and anarchy.
Yet here I am, strolling up and down Hollywood Blvd with a digital camera, a boom mike, and a lot of attitude, getting the homeless to do outrageous things for twenty dollar bills.
God, I hate myself.
But hey, my idea made the folks at the web place laugh and that's what it's all about, right?
Still, there's this whole morals thing.
AGHHH!!!! I'm getting torn asunder. My morals tell me that yes, its wrong to make bums climb up light poles for money. It's wrong to make them streak down Hollywood Blvd. singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" at full volume for money. But my empty wallet is telling me something different. It's telling me that if I can make some money off of this, then do it.
What should I do? I'm looking for audience response here.
How's this? If they like the show and give us the budget we need we could do stuff to help homeless folks that will still be funny. We get the dirtiest bum we can find and we take him to the most expensive hair salon in LA. We get him a haircut, a shave, etc. People will laugh because the folks at the salon will have a heart attack but we'll still be helping the bum out.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
On to other things. We're still in a lowbrow, fleabag hotel. The old steamheater in the room is leaking and the carpet in half of the room is soaked. We laid towels down and now the towels are the color of rat piss. Luckily, the wet rat piss is on Piet's side of the room.
I'm almost done with the new script. I think it's good. Damn good. Who knows though, right? Maybe it's horrible, or maybe its great and nobody will ever see it?
I'm also revising SIX MONTHS for my producer and agent. My producer met with a VERY BIG STAR'S production company and they sounded very interested in the script, etc. As is always the case now, I can't say who. But if they like the script then the world could open up to me like an oyster. Most likely, the world will just snap shut and take off my legs. Damn! Oysters are next to impossible to open up without the proper tools. Ouch! Gouged the palm of my hand again.
Oh... I saw HANNIBAL this weekend. Totally different in tone from Silence of the Lambs. But man, for good pulpy horror, its not bad. Its gross and funny and sick and there is nothing wrong with that.
This week's agenda: Find Bums. (not too difficult in Hollywood) Shoot BUM RUSH. Return the equipment to Nibblebox on Friday. Watch Dawson's Creek on Wednesday night. No snickering about this. It's one of the only decent shows on television. And this weekend, being the complete sap I am, I will buy a ticket to SWEET NOVEMBER and cry like a pussy in the middle of the theater when Charlize Theron bites the big one. She will. They always do in movies like this.
What's up with the Oscar nominations? Where the hell is ALMOST FAMOUS? Did these people do peyote before they voted? What are they thinking?
So that's it for now. I think because of the amount of boredom my Hollywood life is causing you people, that I'm going to start doing my column every other week unless something HUGE (that I can talk about) happens.
I'm signing off. My buddy Piet, known as Batty for all you AICN chat room fanatics, would like to say a few words...
Hello everyone. I just wanted to say you may be getting me writing the column every other week soon, since Josh is getting a zipper slowly closed over his lips. Having NO industry job prospects, I however, do not have this problem. I'll be back next week with a different take on this rat piss infested hellhole that for some reason is called Tinseltown. Until then, have a good one...
ATTENTION INDUSTRY FOLKS. A LOT OF YOU HAVE ASKED TO READ MY SCRIPTS. I'M GETTING TOO MANY E-MAILS LIKE THIS TO SORT THROUGH PERSONALLY. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN READING MY MATERIAL THEN PLEASE CONTACT MY PRODUCER. JANNA GELFAND. SHE IS IN THE CREATIVE DIRECTORY. OR YOU CAN CONTACT MY AGENT. ROBIN KAVER/ROBERT A FREEDMAN AGENCY IN NYC. THEY ARE THE DECIDING FACTOR IN WHETHER OR NOT YOU READ THE SCRIPT. I HAVE NO SAY IN THIS. ALL QUERIES MUST GO THROUGH THEM FIRST WHETHER YOU SPEAK TO ME OR NOT. THANKS. J
Okay, now that I've gotten that out of the way-
