Hey folks, Harry here with my trusty crusty seaman friend, Quint and his look at SAVING SILVERMAN and HANNIBAL... Now you all know I loathe SAVING SILVERMAN... but I haven't seen HANNIBAL yet... I might very well catch a screening of it up here in New York somewhere... As I was off on a secret mission in the land of the rising sun... where I saw a movie that I will soon be writing up. It freakin ruled! But now... onto Quint...
Ahoy, squirts. Tis I, the trusty, crusty seaman, Quint, here once more, this time with a look at two of my biggest catches this week. The first of my catch is kind of a runt, is ugly as sin, but still goofy in its stupidity and worth a few laughs and the other is big, dangerous and beautiful to look at.
Let's take a short look at the ugly, goofy one. This fish has a name and that name is Saving Silverman starring (the dudes)Jason Biggs, Jack Black, Steve Zahn and (the chicks)Amanda Peet and Amanda Detmer.
The story is thus: 3 best friends who1ve enjoyed many, many years of being stupid with one an other and performing as a Neil Diamond cover group are torn apart by the introduction of Amanda Peet1s bitchy slut-bag whore character as Jason Biggs1 controlling girlfriend. A very bad first impression is made and Peet doesn't want Biggs to be around his buds anymore. Jack Black and Steve Zahn vow to break them up, to make Biggs see her for the super bitch she is and have their life return to normal. Their big plan is to kidnap Peet, make it look like she left Biggs and then set up Biggs with his high school sweetheart, played by the unbelievably cute Amanda Detmer.
Of course, whacky hijinks ensue as things don't go exactly to plan. Not a terrible idea for a comedy, especially when you got the near genius of Jack Black on board. So, it's an OK idea with an OK, for the most part, cast. Unfortunately, the script is very loopy. The film basically is comprised of 10% genuinely funny, laugh out loud scenes/lines/moments, 10% truly awful, groan out loud scenes/lines/moments, 40% slightly better than mediocre moments and 40% mediocre moments.
This movie does come from Dennis Dugan, who also directed Problem Child, Big Daddy and is responsible for TV's Shasta McNasty, so that should send up a red flag to most of you out there. But this movie isn't terribly terrible.
Basically, there are two reasons to go see this movie at all. One is the amazing R. Lee Ermey as the boys' former football coach... Sweet Jesus. Just about every scene with him in it is in that 10% genuinely funny percentile. He has some classic lines in this movie, involving everything from his advice to the boys on their next step in the kidnapping to what women really want from men.
The second reason to see this movie is Amanda Detmer. Again, she's a great looker and she's just fucking hot in her nun-in-training outfit. Maybe that's just me, though... Still, it makes one wonder during the film why Biggs would put up with bitchy Amanda Peet when he has the beautiful, kind, truthful Amanda Detmer waiting in the wings.
Do those two reasons justify seeing the film? Yes. Do they justify paying to see it theatrically? Possibly. Depends on your tastes. This movie is the very definition of 2 stars, but again there are those bright shining moments that should be seen whether on the big screen, DVD/video or cable.
My biggest problem with the movie, besides the semi frequent long scenes where nothing is happening, is that Zahn and Jack Black aren't used to nearly their full potential. I mean, how do you have Jack Black in your COMEDY and have him be only sorta funny? I don't understand. How bad was the original material that Jack Black himself couldn't save more than, say, a quarter of it? He has some really good scenes, but he isn't as consistent has he's proven to be in the past.
Don't feel too bad if you're dragged to this movie. Have some hope. It isn't too terrible. But, if you're going to the theater this weekend, the movie you should be seeing is Hannibal.
HANNIBAL is a movie I had been looking forward to for a very, very long time. I'm a huge fan of Silence of the Lambs and, most of all, Anthony Hopkins' performance as Dr. Hannibal the Cannibal Lecter. When I heard Anthony Hopkins was reprising his role as Dr. Lecter I was beyond ecstatic. They were going to make a movie based entirely on one of my all time favorite screen villains!
It was a mini adventure seeing this film. After I was caught trying to sneak into the first locally held press screening I was so bummed out that I went in home, popped in my Sleepaway Camp DVD to make me smile again. Then, I heard there was another screening the next day, so I brushed up on my Crusty Seaman Mind Tricks. It was brutal, lots of blood was shed, tears wept and bodies disposed of, but the next day I was watching Hannibal. And let me tell you, it was worth it!
Now, the great majority of you know the plot of the film, so I won't get into that. I will, however, talk a bit about some specifics of the film. Nothing too spoilerish, mind you, but just my observations, likes/dislikes from the film.
Julianne Moore as Clarice Starling. It took me a bit to accept her as Clarice, but that's going to happen in any well loved series that has a drastic actor change. She did a grand job, just had to get over that 3But you're not Jodie Foster2 thing. Her accent wasn't too overboard, but a little more noticeable, to me at least, then Ms. Foster's in SOTL. It might be that I'm much more familiar with Julianne Moore's regular voice, having heard it so often (damn that bitch is poppin' em out, isn't she!) recently.
The film branches off around the first reel change (20 minute mark) and intercuts between Clarice in America and Det. Pazzi (Giancarlo Giannini) and Dr. Fell (aka Hopkins' Lecter) in Italy. I found the stuff between Giannini and Hopkins to be terrific and was far more interested in that story line than what was going on with Moore in America. It might just be my love for Dario Argento and early Lucio Fulci, you know, good Italian thrillers. As a matter of fact, the beautiful Spanish Maiden said to me in the Orca after the movie that she was reminded of Argento films like Bird With Crystal Plumage and Cat O' Nine Tails during those early scenes in Italy. It's just shot with such style with great actors in interesting roles.
Gary Oldman (totally unrecognizable) plays Mason Verger, an eccentric rich man who horribly deformed himself under Lecter's influence many years before and has been plotting his revenge ever since. The make-up on Oldman is beyond amazing. It kills me that some Costume Drama is probably going to win best make-up come this time next year while the work in Hannibal will most likely go by the wayside because of it's gruesome nature. At first, Oldman's make-up looked a bit plastic-y and bit fake, but when you see it with full light you realize that that1s what it would look like in real life! Have you seen what burn victims or car wreck victims look like after having surgery? When skin had to be grafted onto whatever part of the body was hurt? It looks a bit plastic-y and shiny. Oldman's make-up is very realistic and that make it all the creepier and hard to look at.
Ray Liotta as Paul Krendler. They didn't play Krendler as as much of a dick as they do in the novel. He's still not a good guy, but I was surprised they didn't take him as far in the film as he was in the novel. Liotta turns in a good performance. It's believable, but not the center of the movie.
Of course, that leads to the center of the movie, Anthony Hopkins. Brilliant, brilliant man. Such a great performer. Such a great bad guy! He makes licking an envelope creepy! God Bless him! What makes his work in Hannibal great is he manages to work in the nuances of his previous turn as the good doctor without making it just a retread of the previous film. His character has changed a bit during the last 10 years. He's had his freedom, his sunlight, his library, his view. Just like anybody in real life, he changed a bit when his lifestyle changed. The last scene in the movie, which has Hopkins in it, is a perfect ending note to the film. I'd also like to add that you might wanna sit through the credits. There1s a little something at the end, not much mind you, but just a tiny little something at the end of the credits that put a smile on my face. You'll know it when it comes up.
Now, I still prefer Silence of the Lambs to Hannibal (and to Manhuter as well), but that1s not saying Hannibal is necessarily a lesser film. It is just a different type of film than Silence was. It's a worthy sequel and I foam at the mouth at Hopkins' mention of discussing another Lecter film with Dino de Laurentiis.
So, squirts. There you have it. You got a glimpse at the ol' seaman's catch this week. Keep yer eye on the horizon for I got a lot more to share with ye. Also, anybody that wants to come to my grand birthday celebration on Sunday, Feb. 18th at the Alamo Drafthouse here in Austin, TX is welcome. And, no, a present is NOT REQUIRED. All you need to do is bring your body and watch some great, FREE, classic cinema. Come see 2 geek celebrated films. I can't say what they are, but they are both 35mm prints in great condition and both are well loved and worth seeing on the big screen. For those that can't stand the mystery and like a little bit of detective work, I will give you one hint: They both have a common link both in front of and behind the camera. Email me using the link below if you want to come.
Til next time, squirts, this is Quint saying farewell and adieu.
-Quint
