Hey folks, Harry here... From time to time, I like getting reports about geeky cool places folks like you and me want to haunt from time to time... This includes the latest rides and attractions in the theme park arena, and when I got a call from the sopping wet Junior Mintz and listened to this Jersey gal voice spitting chlorinated water into the Disney owned reciever... I told the minx to write it all up... The places she haunted won't open up for another 3 weeks, but you can get a taste for the new California Adventure theme park and Downtown Disney (sort of the equiv to the Universal Citywalk).... Also there are some early tips on what not to touch or grab.... Personally, I love Disney Land, specifically THE HAUNTED MANSION - the world's greatest anything. In fact if I were Bill Gates rich, I'd contract Disney to build me THE HAUNTED MANSION as the house I chose to live in. Sigh.... Enjoy...
Hey Harry,
It seems kinda slow for movie news this weekend, so I'm sending in this report of a recent big Disney do that I schnorred my way into. No hot gossip, just a little slice o' life, such as it is.
Last Thursday my frequent partner in crime D Girl told me she had scored a couple of invites to that night's grand opening of the new Downtown Disney shopping center. Not only that, she had managed to pull a few strings and get me into Disney's new California Adventure theme park, as well. Now this park doesn't open to the public for another three weeks so I was very jazzed at the prospect of sneakin' a couple free rides on the Mouse's newest attractions.
Off I zipped to Anaheim and checked myself into Disney's newest bid for your buck, the Grand Californian Hotel. I gotta say, I was impressed. The Grand Californian is easily the best-looking and best designed of any Disney restort hotel anywhere. An airy, lush arts and crafts masterpiece, the GC has culled its visual inspiration from the best elements of the Golden State - Yosemite, Pebble Beach, San Francisco, Old Pasadena and the wine country. There's even nods to San Simeon (film buffs note the Citizen Kane-inspired fireplace) and I wouldn't be surprised if some of the same design and construction crew had spent some time at Skywalker Ranch, as well. The hotel's second most impressive feature are honest to god rotary dial house phones in the lobby. When's the last time you've seen them? The first most impressive feature is the gigantic portrait of Zorro in the hotel resturant. Each painting depicts a well-known story or legend of classic California and it's nice to see The Fox up there alongside images from Jack London and Mark Twain.
Still, as impressive as it all is, Disney is Disney, and they do find novel ways of exacting tribute for all this. On checking into my room, I scoped out the mini-bar and was pleasantly surprised to see my namesake candy prominently displayed. "Aww," I said as I lifted out the box, "They knew I was comin'." I then heard an ominous electronic click and discovered I couldn't put the box back. Yep, there in tiny letters was the warning that anything I removed from the fridge would instantly be charged to my bill. No put-backs. Now, two-fifty for a box of Junior Mints ain't gonna break me (confidentially, we charge three and a quarter for them at the Megaplex) still I can imagine how P.O.ed parents are gonna get when their tots curiously pull out candy and other brightly-colored souveniers from the mini-bar and discover they're going to be winged for 'em, wanted or not. Hope the Disney folks have their complaint dept. up and running when the hotel opens officially next Friday.
Anyways, I had to meet D Girl at the media entrance at seven, which only left me with an hour to explore California Adventure. The concept of this theme park is to celebrate the great state of California. Disney translation: why waste money on other parts of the state when you can drop your entire vacation bundle right here? (Provided you haven't already blown it in the room's mini-bar, that is.) There are no cartoon character-based Disney attractions here (at least I didn't see any) though there is a small animation studio attraction (wasn't open when I went by) which I assume will be similar to the one at the MGM /Disney park in Florida. The mascot of the park is the California grizzly, whose image appears everywhere, on rides, on products, sculpted into totem poles, even as a mountain plopped down in the middle of the river raft ride. Kind of ironic as the last grizzly in the state was blown out of existance only a few miles east of the park seventy five years ago. I tried the Ferris Wheel, which has great. The cars not only move up and down but rotate back and forth. I bashed up my spine on the Mouse coaster, ditto the Big Orange ride (or whatever it was called). Got nice and soaked on the Grizzly river ride, but wound up sitting at the top of the last plunge for fifteen minutes when it broke down. FIfteen wet, freez ing minutes listening to a recorded voice saying "The ride will resume in a minute" while raft after raft smacked into ours. Guess they had to change the film in the camera they always fire into your face as you go over the last drop just, in case you want a souvenier of your adventure. Yeah, a photo of a pissed-off, sopping wet blonde flipping off the camera. That's just what I want in my family photo album.
Eventually the ride started up again. I crawled off, shook myself dry and ran to change clothes for the Downtown Disney party. Once behind the party gates, I spied Warren Beatty (moving shark-like through the crowd) as well as Sly and Jennifer Flavin Stallone. Big Cheese Michael Eisner was holding court with the press in a roped-off area near a stage erected beneath the recently rebuilt Monorail. Other faintly famous faces whirled out of the crowd -- guy from TV show here, model-caliber girl there. I suck at names, sorry. I met up with D Girl who was wrapping up what she had to do and we took in the sights. Somewhat more than a shopping mall but less than a theme park, Downtown Disney is meant to be a place for adult park visitors to go to unwind after a busy day of shepherding the kids around Fantasyland. While not as cool as Florida Disney's Pleasure Island (no Adventurers Club, dammit!) there is a lot to see, do, and of course, buy. There is a fucking fantastic-looking movie palace (12 screens but still gorgeous) and a slightly southern counterpart to Hollywood's larger House of Blues. There's a big Leggo Imagination Center for the kids to go crazy in, kind of odd as Leggo has their own huge theme park a short drive from Disneyland. Guess it's a cross-promotion thing -- wouldn't be surprised if there's probably a Disney booth at Leggoland.
Best store honors go to Compass Books, which looks like the trophy-filled library Indiana jones would have in his house if he was ever home long enough to read a book. Worst store award goes oddly enough to the Disney Store which is huge but has the weakest selection of merchandise. Someone really needs to tell the people in Disney merchandise that there are more cartoon characters in the Disney cannon than just Mickey, Minnie, Pooh and Tigger. A Donald gew-gaw here and there, a couple of Eeyore dolls and some Princess tee-shirts, but that's it. Whatever happened to Uncle Scrooge? Mickey's enemy, Pete? The other Two Cabelleros? You won't find them here. Hell, I couldn't even find a Woody watch and Toy Story 2 has only been out a year. No Big Bad Wolf, no Brer Fox, no Baloo. Pecos Bill? Roger Rabbit? Wart and Merlin? No, we never did those characters, you must have us confused with Walter Lantz, not Disney. Ludwig Von Who? You do realize this is Disneyland, right? Here's a Pluto key chain. Take it and be happy, it's all you're getting.
Shopping at the Disney Store was a bust, though Tin Pan Alley, a store devoted to wind-up toys and tin lunch boxes had some real treasures. They actually did have an old Von Drake lunch box, but it was kinda rusted and at 175.00, more than I wanted to pop. We closed out the evening eating barbequed shrimp at Ralph Brennan's Jazz Kitchen, far and away the best restaurant in the place.
Bottom line, Downtown Disney is a fun enough place to go if you're meeting friends, want to grab a tasty bite or purchase some high-end tourist swag. It's free to get in, but I would image they'll soak you pretty bad on the parking. I left my car at the hotel and wouldn't know. California Adventure was fine based on what I paid to get in (zippo) but keep in mind that while it is connected geographically to Disneyland, it will cost another 30+ gate fee if you want to go. Not all the attractions were up and running, but they probably will be by Feb. 8th. I'm planning on wearing a wet suit if I do that Grizzly river ride again. That water was fuckin' ice!
Junior out
