Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
I love this time of year. I love how controversial people's lists become. I love when people rail and scream about this choice or that omission. Believe me, there will be yelling and screaming when you get a glimpse at the lists that HERCULES THE STRONG has put together here. Hell, I'm planning to do my own fair share of grousing the next time I see our Greco-Roman friend. Wanna get all hopped up? Check this out...
PART II: HERC NAMES THE TEN BEST NEW SHOWS OF THE SEASON
And now to court some REAL controversy, we champion some far less established series.
Keep in mind that this list considers only the NEW FALL SHOWS, those which debuted between Sept. 22 and Dec. 20. The best NEW are:
1. The Gilmore Girls
2. Gideon’s Crossing
3. Boston Public
4. TV Funhouse
5. Deadline
1. THE GILMORE GIRLS.
AIRS: Thursdays 8 p.m. on the WB.
OPPOSITE: “Friends,” “Cursed,” “Whose Line is It, Anyway?” “Smackdown,” and, starting very soon, “Survivor II.”
It’s not only the best new show this season, it’s the third-best show in production!
“The Gilmore Girls” is the tale of 32-year-old Lorelei Gilmore (fabulous, talented Heather Graham), an unmarried Connecticut mother whose 16-year-old daughter Rory (fabulous, talented Alexis Bledel) is both her namesake and her best friend. An important thing to know about sunny, witty, free-spirited Lorelei is that her own mother, Emily, is a colossal tight-ass. Lorelei fled her parents (and their considerable wealth) 16 years ago rather than endure what one assumes was mother Emily’s relentless disdain for her pregnat 16-year-old daughter. Lorelei’s almost complete estrangement from Emily ended in the pilot, when super-smart Rory found herself accepted into a prestigious prep school and Lorelei found herself begging her parents for the pricey tuition. Emily, seeking her pound of flesh, agreed to loan the tuition in exchange for weekly Friday-night dinners with both Rory and Lorelei.
Critics and others who have difficulty with categorization have lumped “Gilmore” in with the WB’s top-rated drama, “7th Heaven,” because both shows deal with family. But “7th Heaven,” while far from unwatchable, is not a funny show. “Gilmore Girls,” by contrast, is not only brainy, heart-wrenching and sexy, but also laugh-out-loud hilarious. Imagine the minister’s wife in “7th Heaven” wrapping her mouth around dialogue like this:
RORY: You’re happy.
LORELEI (beaming at Rory): Yeah!
RORY (disdainfully): Did you do something slutty?
LORELEI (beaming more broadly): I’m not THAT happy!
The charm of the “The Gilmore Girls” is not limited to the big yucks it routinely elicits. If “The West Wing’s” Josiah Bartlett is the president we long to call leader, then the Gilmores are the family we long to call kin. Who wouldn’t welcome Rory as a daughter or Lorelei as a mom?
Credit creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, who rivals the likes of Joss Whedon, Aaron Sorkin, Jason Katims, Glenn Gordon Caron and David E. Kelley as a dramatist who can crank out superior serialized comedy. Sherman-Palladino, believe it or don’t, used to write for awful sitcoms like “Love and Marriage” and “Veronica’s Closet.” Don’t let that dissuade you. She is major talent, one of those writers whose work, frankly, is way too good to be piped into our homes for free.
Lauren Graham, who beguiles when she frowns, entrances when she smiles (I like her!), may have just inherited Lisa Kudrow’s crown as the funniest woman on North American television.
Graham is in fact such an luminous and charismatic presence, you have to wait until she walks off camera before you realize that Bledel (the one who most resembles a better-nourished Fiona Apple) is also quite the find. Particularly endearing is the way Bledel feigns Rory’s lack of composure in the presence of her dreamy new boyfriend Dean. And if you pay close attention, you can see she’s a formidable foil for Graham as well.
The good extends the the supporting cast. The great Edward Herrmann adds a healthy dose of droll as Lorelei’s distracted pop, Yanic Truesdale is droller still as Lorelei’s evil French coworker Michel, and Keiko Agena is best as Lane, Rory’s best-pal-who-isn’t-Lorelei. Kudos also to Kelly Bishop, roundly despicable as the Gilmores’ thoroughly unpleasant matriarch.
Even USA Today’s Bette-worshiping Robert Bianco had to admit recently that “Gilmore” is the best new show on TV.
Why haven’t you been watching? Because it airs opposite “Friends!” (And things are not likely to improve once “Survivor II” enters the same daypart next month.) I can only trust that our friends at the WB, if they insist on leaving this show in its brutal timeslot, will be patient with it.
Buy another VCR and learn to tape one show while watching another. Shows as good as “The Gilmore Girls” don’t come along every year.
2. GIDEON’S CROSSING.
AIRS: Wednesdays 10 p.m. (but moves to Mondays effective Jan. 15) on ABC.
OPPOSITE (on Mondays): “Family Law” and “Third Watch.”
Most critics who laud this series are quick to concentrate their praise on former “Homicide: Life on the Street” standout Andre Braugher, who certainly continues to demonstrate why he’s one of the most compelling actors working in any medium.
But “Gideon’s Crossing” is more than just Braugher. It’s an ensemble show and its creators have assembled an enormous stable of young and highly watchable supporting players. It’s the GROUP that’s established “Gideon’s” as one of the most entertaining TV medical dramas ever, placing it in a pantheon that includes “ER,” “St. Elsewhere,” and the first two seasons of “Chicago Hope.” When it’s cooking, “Gideon’s Crossing” is, in many ways, much better than “ER.” Which, admittedly, is saying a great deal.
Viewers have a particularly hard time taking their eyes off stunning Rhona Mitra, the original live-action model for the Tomb Raider video game’s Lara Croft. Mitra here essays the comely, adventurous and compassionate Dr. Alejandra Klein. She’s pretty!
This is not a perfect show. Its Christmas episode, which tries to lighten things up with a talent show and a drag queen, is to be avoided at all costs. But there’s clearly a lot of gifted people involved here, and this show has the makings of a classic.
3. BOSTON PUBLIC.
AIRS: Mondays 8 p.m. on Fox.
OPPOSITE: “Monday Night Football,” “20/20 Downtown,” “The King of Queens,” “7th Heaven,” and “Yes, Dear.”
Who would have guessed that the best of David E. Kelley’s three series this season would be the new one without the lawyers?
Teacher Harry Senate (Nikky Katt) is both a serious guy and a serious smart-ass. The fact that these two traits are NOT considered mutually exclusive on this series is testament to Kelley’s continued godly status as a storyteller.
If great characters like Senate aren’t enough to keep you watching, there’s always the sex. This series is loaded with sex: big sex, bad sex, wrong sex. Teacher-teacher sex. Student-student sex. Teacher-student sex.
Also, there’s Anthony Heald (vice principal Scott Guber), Jessilyn Gilsig (social studies department head Lauren Davis), Chi McBride (principal Steven Harper) and Lamya Jezek (student Webmistress Sheryl Holt), all top-gun thespians embodying what are clearly inspired Kelley creations.
When I first raved about this series’ pilot, talkback was drenched with missives complaining about how unrealistically it depicted high school. Let me say that I agree wholeheartedly that “Boston Public” is in no way a realistic depiction of high school. Let me say also that, at least when it comes to “Boston Public,” I could not care less. Anyway, if we REALLY wanted a realistic depiction of high school, the excellent “American High” documentary series would have lasted more than two weeks and “Popular” would be in NO way popular.
4. TV FUNHOUSE.
AIRS: Wednesdays 10:30 p.m. on Comedy Central.
OPPOSITE: “Law & Order,” “Gideon’s Crossing” and MTV’s “Cribs.”
I don’t like to toss around the term “comedy genius” too much, but Robert Smigel, who created “TV Funhouse,” is a comedy genius. Smigel not only created SNL’s “Saturday TV Funhouse” (home of Ace & Gary, the Ambiguously Gay Duo), he served for years as head writer on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien,” where he still voices both the yahooey, Clutch-Cargoesque Bill Clinton and Triumph, the insult-comic dog.
The Comedy Central version of “Funhouse” is an inspired sendup of TV kiddie shows, one that makes “Pee-wee’s Playhouse” look like “Romper Room.” It is also Smigel unfiltered, a TV-MA pastiche of scatological cartoons, faux instructional shorts and the filthiest puppetry ever to grace a cathode-ray tube. Based on the four episodes I’ve seen so far, I’m willing to hail it as the second-funniest 30 minutes in production.
The cartoons -- “Wonderman” was a particularly giddy examination of a ruthlessly randy superhero -- are as good as anything on SNL, but the real reason to tune in is the show’s “anipals,” a collection of foul-mouthed, Triumph-like puppets whose carnal, grown-up and – at times – profoundly animalistic sensibilities are at odds with those of the Doug Dale’s doltish host.
Behold the Scotch-swilling necrophiliac lobsters, profanity-screaming kitties, cannibalistic roosters, masturbating goslings, and cross-dressing kangaroos. If the puppeteers, who include Smigel, Jon Glasser, Jackie Hoffman, Brian Stack and Dino Stamatopoulis, don’t make you laugh, you’re either slow-witted or not paying attention. These guys are brilliant.
5. DEADLINE.
AIRS: Nowhere. NBC cancelled it before its sixth episode aired.
OPPOSITE: Shows contributing to “Deadline’s” demise included “Monday Night Football,” “Ally McBeal,” “Roswell,” “Everybody Loves Raymond,” “Becker,” “The Hughleys” and “Girlfriends.”
People have been raving to me about how great Oliver Platt for years. This always confused me. I’ve seen tons of Oliver Platt movies: “Married to the Mob,” “Working Girl,” “Postcards From the Edge,” “The Three Musketeers,” “A Time to Kill,” “Bulworth,” “Dr. Dolittle,” “Lake Placid,” and so on. Apparently I’ve been watching the WRONG Oliver Platt movies!
Platt wasn’t the only reason I had low expectations for “Deadline.” It was co-created by Dick Wolf, whose Emmy-winning “Law & Order” impresses me no more than Wolf’s “Mann & Machine,” “South Beach” and “New York Undercover” did.
But “Deadline” is a terrific show, and mainly because of Platt, who for me now ranks as one of the brainiest character actors in Hollywood. This guy, given half a chance, can make anything watchable. And his character, Wallace Benton, had all sorts of attributes wholly alien to your average TV leading man: portly, with a troubling haircut, he was a middle-aged man who came from old money but won fame among ink-stain wretches because he gave a shit and could write about what he gave a shit about.
Though “Deadline’s” scripts were merely well above average, the show’s regular supporting cast was unbelievable -- from its known quantities like Bebe Neuwirth, Tom Conti, Hope Davis and Lili Taylor to realative newcomers like Christina Chang and Damon Gupton.
Why “Titans” got a second chance but this didn’t, I’ll never understand. Had cooler heads prevailed, “Deadline” could have emerged as the new “Columbo.”
PART III: BONUS SECTION
A. The recap (with runners-up):
HERC’S BEST NEW SHOWS OF AUTUMN
1. The Gilmore Girls
2. Gideon’s Crossing
3. Boston Public
4. TV Funhouse
5. Deadline
(The 5 Runners-up: Ed, Andromeda, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Tucker, and Dark Angel.)
HERC’S TEN BEST SHOWS OF 2000
1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2. The West Wing
3. The Gilmore Girls
4. Survivor
5. Big Brother
6. ER
7. Saturday Night Live
8. Angel
9. Norm
10. Roswell
(The 10 Runners-up: Late Night With Conan O’Brien, The Daily Show, Gideon’s Crossing, Boston Public, Oz, The Sopranos, Sex in the City, TV Funhouse, Friends, and Blind Date.)
B. Some other stuff:
HERC’S WORST NEW SHOWS OF AUTUMN
1. Bette
2. The Michael Richards Show
3. Freakylinks
4. Titans
5. The Madigan Men
(The 5 Runners-up: The Trouble With Normal, Welcome to New York, Cursed/The Weber Show, Level 9, and Normal, Ohio.)
THE HERC 25: A TV HALL OF FAME*
(unranked)
The Bob Newhart Show
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cheers
Columbo
Designing Women
ER
Fawlty Towers
Friends
The Larry Sanders Show
Lou Grant
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Moonlighting
Northern Exposure
The Prisoner
The Rockford Files
Saturday Night Live
SCTV
The Simpsons
Soap
Star Trek
St. Elsewhere
The Twilight Zone
Twin Peaks
The West Wing
*shows premiering less than one year ago are ineligible
HERC’S 6 FUNNIEST PEOPLE OVER 50:
(unranked)
Woody Allen
Albert Brooks
John Cleese
David Letterman
Steve Martin
Bill Murray
HERC’S 11 FUNNIEST PEOPLE UNDER 50:
(unranked)
Adam Corolla
David Cross
Gilbert Gottfried
Jon Lovitz
Jimmy Kimmel
Norm Macdonald
Patton Oswalt
Chris Rock
Adam Sandler
David Spade
Jon Stewart
14 TV ACTRESSES MORE TALENTED THAN GOLDEN GLOBE* NOMINEE JESSICA ALBA:
1. Maura Tierney (“ER”)
2. Lauren Graham (“The Gilmore Girls”)
3. Jessalyn Gilsig (“Boston Public”)
4. Gillian Anderson (“The X-Files”)
5. Jeri Ryan (“Star Trek: Voyager”)
6. Majandra Delfino (“Roswell”)
7. Hope Davis (“Deadline”)
8. Lara Flynn Boyle (“The Practice”)
9. Julie Bowen (“Ed”)
10. Kim Raver (“Third Watch”)
11. Keri Russell (“Felicity”)
12. Juliana Margulies (“ER”)
13. Carly Pope (“Popular”)
14. Heather Paige Kent (“That’s Life”)
*the Golden Globes are awards handed out by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Pia Zadora won a Golden Globe in 1982 for her work in the motion picture “Butterfly.”
And finally:
SOME MOVIES
I’ve not yet seen enough of the 2000 movies (“Snatch” and “Requiem” among them) to string together a real top ten list, but of those I DID see, these are my 11 favorites:
(unranked)
Cast Away
Charlie’s Angels
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Erin Brockovich
High Fidelity
Little Nicky
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
State and Main
Traffic
Unbreakable
X-Men
Enjoy Your New Millennium While It Lasts, Puny Mortals!
