Velma has been cast in the... ahem... SCOOBY DOO film that WB has down on all fours in the shower stall

Well, there's good news! You won't have to see Christina Ricci in a really really suckass SCOOBY DOO movie! In what was widely held by every living being on the planet as perfect casting... CHRISTINA RICCI will not be playing Velma. Instead, the poor girl stuck in the latest piece of Prinze and Lillard dreck will be Linda Cardellini

Now ya want to hear a bit of irony? Linda Cardellini is also in talks to join two PERFECT choices for SHAGGY in another film. Tom Green and Jason Lee are set to star with Linda in Revolution's STEALING STANFORD. Now can you imagine the pain for poor Linda... working alongside Tom Green and Jason Lee... knowing that every second they either one of them would've been 10,000 times better for SHAGGY instead of the talent mold... Lillard. The best news for Linda is that she is already locking up her film to follow SCOOBY DOO... smart move... Try to get another one in place too darling. SCOOBY DOO is going to suck medicine balls through fibre optic lines!

The saddest part of all of this is Gellar and Cardellini are pretty fine choices. The effects that will realize SCOOBY will undoubtedly be extremely top notch... But with a subpar script, a mediocre (to now) director and a the worst acting pair since... I can't even remember when... The film and all the work that many people... far more talented than Fred, Shaggy, the script and the director... well... At least Raja is no longer on FANTASTIC FOUR...

How the hell does this get a green light when Joe Dante can't get JETSONS off the ground? Sigh... steam.... I do have to say though... Hitchcock is right. There is suspense. Right now we know that there is a bomb on a picnic table... and these are the actors that will be blown to smithereens... do we watch... or do we look away? tick tock tick tock...