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Advance Review: SUPERMAN REBIRTH #1
DC REBIRTH #1
Double Dib Review: DC REBIRTH #1
CAPTAIN AMERICA: STEVE ROGERS #1
JUSTICE LEAGUE #50
In stores today!SUPERMAN REBIRTH #1
Writer: Peter J. TomasiArtist: Doug Mahnke
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Rob Patey (Pre-Rebirth Optimous Douche)
Keeping true to word, the first entry for Superman in the Rebirth world is definitively not a reboot. For new readers the book holds many mysteries, for shunners of New 52 it is the next step in your comic journey, and for those of us who stayed with DC during the emo Superman experiment this issue is a swan song.
This issue is pretty damn talkie, which is fine when a talk maestro like Tomasi is tapping away at the keyboard. It has heart and a gravitas that’s been missing from Big Blue’s pages for quite some time. I give this warning, because those that started reading DC with the New 52 might be put off by lack of splash pages and brashness from Supes to punch first and ask questions later. Superman is now a more mild-mannered and middle-aged thanks to CONVERGENCE rebooting him into continuity post-CONVERGENCE (whoever asked what the point was, well there you go). In the pages of SUPERMAN: LOIS & CLARK we learned that whenever high-collar Supes fucked up, there was his more tempered and wizened dopplganger to pick up the slack.
Beardey Supes ends up bumping into Lana Lang beneath the tomb of the ashen New 52 Supes, both with the same intent – grave robbing. Superman old is in pursuit of getting baby Supes to the regeneration matrix that brought him back to life at a hastened pace. Lana is there simply to honor New 52 Supes dying wish of being buried between his adoptive parents. Here is where Tomasi shines, melding the old and the new to put both sets of continuity at ease about older Superman swopping in to become Metropolis’ new protector. From the difference in monuments to the fall, to the ultimate gut wrenching end that not all possibilities are available in every universe, heart strings are more than pulled they are essentially plucked out of the chest of anyone whose been on the full journey.
For anyone seeking wafts of WATCHMEN or other progression to the events of REBIRTH #1, this is not that book. This is however a string end and even stringer beginning to the next adventures of Superman. Tomasi should have had this job years ago, Mahnke is a fine companion on pencils being able to easily compliment tight panels wrought with the quitter moments that Tomasi seems to revel in. If you wanted a new protector of Metropolis out of the gate than go ahead and skip this issue. This was about good-byes, but I believe in these good-byes we learn volumes about the character of the man who is coming back to don the S shield.
Rob works for IBM when he puts down comic books. IBM.com if you want to see his other world.
DC REBIRTH #1
Writer: Geoff JohnsArt: Gary Frank, Ethan Van Sciver, Ivan Reis, Phil Jiminez, Frank Prado, Joe Prado, Matt Santorelli
Publisher: DC Comics
Masked Man
So DC’s Rebirth (don’t call it a reboot) is finally here. So is it time to celebrate or time to continue bitching and moaning. Clearly, if you are a fan of Wally West (the red head) it’s time to celebrate. Since I have no negative or positive feelings about Wally I’m not as instantly won over by Rebirth. So I’ve taken upon myself to be the sour puss and really look at what Rebirth has done so far.
So the biggest thing Rebirth has done, is to say everyone has forgotten ten years of DCU history. Characters and events have been wiped from everyone’s mind, hence Wally West was forgotten. As DC has said in several interviews and press releases, the one thing missing from the New 52 (notice how they never say mistake) is the removal of DC’s history and legacy. So they are putting it all that back in with Rebirth, by saying we just forgot about it. So make no mistake, this universe is still the New 52 (as they said, it’s not a reboot).
How do we know it’s still the New 52? Well our New 52 Superman is still dead. New 52 Wonder Woman is still the daughter of Zeus (heck, she even has a twin brother, which was impossible pre-New 52). Aquaman still has two hands. Cyborg is still a founder of the Justice League and never a Teen Titan. So nothing has really changed, as much as things have been added. All things having to do with legacy, or rather lots of people with the same superhero name.The Justice Society of America is back existing on our world, two Wally Wests both hold (or held) the title Kid Flash, two Aqualads with Garth and Kaldur’ahm. Kent Nelson returns as the original Dr. Fate to help mentor Khalid Nassour (the new Dr. Fate). Other characters will be redefined in new roles: Ray Palmer finally admits to wearing the Atom costume and Ryan Choi returns to be the new Atom (again). Ted Kord was never the Blue Beetle, but he will mentor Jaime Reyes the (new) Blue Beetle (no word on Dan yet), Simon Baz and Jessica Cruz are the new Green Lanterns, because Hal Jordan, John Stewart, Guy Gardner and Kyle Rayner are all busy elsewhere I guess. So is that all it takes to make DC worth reading again?
Now to the question of how these ‘additions’ were made. Just how did we all forget ten years, or maybe erased is a better term, since I think Nightwing would notice if he woke up 10 year older than he went to bed. Oddly enough this kinda fits in with the known history of the New 52 as there are five years of undocumented action: Between the introduction of the heroes (2011 ACTION #1 / JUSTICE LEAGUE #1) and the start of the New 52 history (all the other 2011 #1 issues). So I guess DC just add another five years to make it ten years (this will give a little more room for four Robins). Although things get a bit messy when you consider how we all forgot about the JSA. Assuming the forgotten years happened after the introduction of the superheroes, as in after the formation of the Justice League, which would mean those forgotten years work retroactively. Because not only did we forget about the JSA, we also lost every record of them. Otherwise we’d just pull up old newspapers and say, “hey why don’t I remember these guys?” (Did I hurt your brain yet?)
To all that I gotta say, no one is better at making a situation worst by trying to fix it than DC. Their continuity just gets worse with every reboot (or non-reboot). Even after Grant Morrison laid everything out in MULTIVERISTY, everyone else at DC worked hard to ignore it. Seriously CONVERGENCE, the CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS never happened anymore, what f’ does that mean!? And just think about this for a moment. CONVERGENCE brought Pre-New 52 Superman back into existence. Add to that REBIRTH. So the next time your non-comic book reading friend asks you about Superman, you get to say, “Which one? The Original? The Iconic? The Post-Crisis? The Current one? Or the last one?” (You can throw in the Chinese one too, if you really want to mess with ‘em). They’ll then probably say the current one. So you can then tell them that ‘our’ Superman is dead and a Superman from alternate universe (along with his wife Lois and super powered son) is the current Superman- oh yes that mean’s there are two Lois Lanes and Supergirl and Superman are no longer related. At which point your friend will question why you even read this stuff. So yeah, thanks for making the DCU even harder to wrap our heads around.Ok, aside from creating forgotten years, to help reinstate characters back into the DCU, DC REBIRTH has also promised to make the DCU a more fun and hopefully place. Now I know that is a problem for their movies, but for the New 52 comic books? I don’t think so. Remember, it was in the Pre-New 52 days that all the stuff the late Darwyn Cooke complained about: Maxwell Lord killing Blue Beetle, Wonder Woman killing Maxwell, Sue Dibny getting raped and then killed (by her friend no less), Superboy-Prime killing just about anyone he could get his hands on! The Pre-New 52 DCU even went out with a violent bang. As it originally ended with The Flash trying to prevent Professor Zoom from killing is Mom and framing his Dad- The Flash failed (see FLASH POINT). So yeah, The New 52 is already a way more kinder and gentler DCU. Grimness really isn’t a problem in the New 52.
Now to back tread with a tangent, let’s just look at the logic of FLASH POINT, and the DCU continuity in general. So Professor Zoom can go back in time to kill The Flash’s Mom and frame his Dad for it- no big whip. The Flash goes back in time to prevent this from happening. You’d assume if he’s successful everything would return to normal (i.e. – parents alive and happy). Nope, that’s not how things work in the DCU as the timeline goes to hell (see FLASH POINT). So The Flash’s Mom must stay murdered and his Father must stay in jail. Awesome DC, you really know how make your continuity look like mud.Ok, back to REBIRTH#1, and it’s big reveal- the Watchmen (insert Fuck After Watchmen)! So at some point in the FLASH POINT story or after it, the Watchmen messed with the DCU. Creating the New 52 and making us forget those ten years of history, although it’s a bit earlier to know what happened. Now aside from getting to use the Watchmen again, which arguably was the greatest comic book of all time, so DC is constantly trying to find ways to make money off them again- without getting too much “Fuck DC for using the Watchmen again!” DC is also seemingly making the statement that the successful of THE WATCHMEN has made all comic book stories grim and gritty. Which fits into their belief that the New 52 was too grim and gritty, and one of the reasons it was starting to sell poorly. What do you think?
To me, more than just the loss of certain characters and legacy, I believe the real hate over the New 52 was aimed at the attitude of the heroes. Everyone became young, hip, kinda dumb and rather unlikable. Readers just didn’t like who these characters became. There’s no bigger example of this than Superman himself. Just like Post-Crisis Jason Todd, the fans disliked him so much; DC had killed him and replaced him with another Superman (the only thing missing was the 900 number). As of yet there is no mention of how DC addressing this problem, as it’s all still the same characters from the New 52 (well, except Superman).
Lastly: Promises, promises, promises. To be fair before the New 52, DC Comics were in trouble- mainly because everything was getting a bit too grim and gritty. On top of that character’s history and personalities seemed to change with every new writer. So DC had a good reason to shake-up their universe. They promised us it would be awesome. Well they created as many problems as they fixed- maybe even more. So they decided to do some course correction with CONVERGENCE. They promised it would be awesome. Well I don’t think anyone actually understood the changes CONVERGENCE made and failed to see any benefits from it. So DC decided they needed to do something bigger than CONVERGENCE, so here we are: REBIRTH: A valiant attempt to return DC’s legacy characters, without breaking all their hard work for the past four. And again, they promise us it will be awesome. Now, I know the marketing department has to say that, but I think we are all still waiting for DC to deliver on that promise.Well there you have it, the Rebirth of the New 52, out with Pandora and in with Mr. Oz (whatever that means). Overall, I get the feeling that this non-reboot is designed to be more like a Marvel NOW event than anything else. Meaning, every book gets a new number #1, a new creative team, and a new wrinkle (yes, all the returning legacy character makes it more impactful). So I’m sure it will give DC a nice sales bump for the year, but the question is, will it last? I suppose it doesn’t have to though, as the comic book industry seems to thrive on shiny #1 issues and marketing promises that create sales bumps. But here’s wishing DC luck, and to Geoff Johns who won’t be writing another comic book until who knows when, “So long and thanks for all the fish.”
EDITOR’S NOTE: Sometimes a comic is just too grand to be covered by one @$$Hole and requires more than one review. This is one of those times; it’s a Double Dib Review!…or it’s just a fancy way of covering up bad editorial work on my end by not knowing two reviewers were reviewing the same book… - Bug!
DC REBIRTH #1
Writer: Geoff JohnsArtist(s): Gary Frank, Ethan Van Sciver, Ivan Reis, Phil Jimenez, Frank Prado, Joe Prado, Matt Santorelli
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Humphrey Lee
When I write these pieces here I like to start by going anecdotal to varying degrees because, simply, it’s a good way for me to find my flow and I think having some context in a person’s opinion helps you a person decide how much they can value that opinion. I also do it because, when it comes to a project like this, DC Comics’ latest attempt to streamline their universe and salvage something out of the wreckage that was their last attempt to do so, immediately someone’s connection to the comics and creations within them starts to permeate into their viewpoint on the work at hand. These comic book characters and stories have all had big and little impacts on out lives over the years and we’ve all taken certain things about them and the universes they inhabit to heart. The high point of this attachment is that as it forms our character and mindsets we also share these ideals and personalities with our peers and children and come together as a community to the point where movies based on these properties are making a billion dollars a pop at the box office every other month and you can’t walk down a street with out seeing one of these figures on a piece of clothing someone is wearing. This is also how we get to a point, to further incorporate some of the “highlights” of the past week in comics, where a writer deciding to go for a “shocking twist” on a character such as Captain America starts getting death threats for daring to attempt such a feat.
I am now a “grizzled veteran” of twenty years of comic book reading and typically feel like I have seen it all from the industry. And, of course, that is not true; comic books surprise me every week, hence why they have been my preferred medium of story telling for more than half my life. But in some ways they have become either predictable or tedious and have adapted my interests and purchasing habits in the medium accordingly. For example, I know by now that not every run on one of my favorite characters is going to tell a saga with that character that I enjoy for whatever reason, and that is fine. I have literally thousands of comics books in boxes, thousands of dollars in TPBs and oversized hardcovers in my apartment dedicated to comic books stories and characters I love; I have plenty of material I love to go back to if the current plans of these characters do not fit my ends. That said, when I find something with those characters to be particularly egregious because it seems obviously done for hacky shock value, as the aforementioned situation with the Star-Spangled Avenger seems to be, I’m not exactly pleased because it usually means some other shocking (and shockingly predictable in a world of Cosmic Cubes and whatnot) item will come along to reset the character and status quo, and put that character off limits to me for a number of years. The shame of it all comes in that every run on a character is somebody’s first and that can start a new reader on the wrong foot, but at the end of the day good stories are still out there. I also understand that sometimes creators just swing for the fences to make their mark because they feel they have to and sometimes they pull it off and make a surprisingly epic storyline; but when they fall flat on their face, the thud is audible. And sometimes that thud is company wide.That has essentially been the state of DC Comics for five years now post-“Flashpoint;” a chance for a bunch of staff to make their marks and mostly falling down and skinning their knees. Not that I’m putting this on the talent mind you; obviously people can only work with so much and the “New 52” agenda showed the people at the top making it up had no idea what they were doing as things moved along. But the whole project showed one thing about how comics work and how my own philosophy toward them can be muddied, and it’s that framework matters when it comes to these universes. I was still able to find good reads in the midst of an overall bland lineup that has been the DC Universe for half a decade now (in fact things started off great with books like Scott Snyder BATMAN and SWAMP THING and Jeff Lemire’s ANIMAL MAN runs with artists like Greg Capullo, Yannick Paquette, and Steve Pugh, Brian Azzarello doing some WONDER WOMAN, etc.) but as it became increasingly apparent that the office folk and then the talent they were hiring had no clue what was going on and so many books became bland and rudderless (like this review is getting, I know I know, I’m getting there). With all of that large lump of overview in mind, what DC UNIVERSE REBIRTH is, right here and now, is the statement that at least Geoff Johns knows what makes the DC Universe special and is a hopeful sign that he at the least wants to make it right, as equal shares atonement for what went wrong with the New 52 at the hands of him and many others, and to rectify what happened to the legacies of its characters.
As I said before, we all take our own bits of energy and emotion from these universes and characters, but I think at the heart of a DC fan is a person who appreciates the history and legacy of it and the characters that live there. That attachment to legacy and these long-lived icons is kind of what shattered things as Johns himself became dead set on bringing back arguably his favorite one in Barry Allen and making him the focal point of the universe for a bit. And I don’t think Johns did this to spite the newer heroes; his work on Wally West for years crafting arguably the best run of that character (and maybe any Flash period) and his nods to how vital characters like Kyle Rayner, John Stewart, etc were in the universe despite making Hal Jordan top lantern again show he understood the role of legacy. But at some point that focus on the original icons and rejuvenating the line under them became the obsession for a bunch of the higher ups at DC – Johns included – and in one issue here, DC UNIVERSE REBIRTH #1, someone realized that there was no reason for the case. I don’t have microphones in the DC offices, I don’t know if this is Johns himself realizing they fucked up this backbone of the DC Universe and putting it on his shoulders to rectify that mistake or if the group as a whole understands it now (plummeting sales will help that) but regardless this issue goes a long way to earning back goodwill and instilling a bit of hope.Really, DC REBIRTH is almost like the ultimate love letter to that idea that comics can be crazy with their time jumps and multiple dimensions and threats and you don’t have to throw out the icons for the sake of new blood and you don’t have to erase years of history (and sometimes characters) to feature the moneymakers. This issue is a harrowing triumph of the poster child for this mentality as it follows Wally West – the original, impetuous redhead version of the character – as he scratches and claws at any tether to the universe he used to exist in and that was a prime example of legacy and growth in comics under the pens of creators like Mark Waid, Grand Morrison, Mike Wieringo, and Johns and Van Sciver themselves in past runs and this issue itself. Over the span of three decades, Wally West went from starry-eyed fan of the Flash to the teeny bopper sidekick version of the fastest man alive to a grown man with a loving wife and a legacy of his own then to an afterthought (and a chance at making a weak grasp at diversifying characters) in a mad dash to put Barry Allen back in the limelight, and it didn’t have to be that way at the end. Barry Allen and Wally West can live and grow and die and come back in these universes and things do not have to be ripped asunder to make way for them or pander to audiences that only care about the old icons or the new blood. There is room for it all as long as there is talent willing and able to create it and fans of comic books willing to read the stories.
The rest of DC REBIRTH is very much in this vein, of an all-encompassing, “everyone gets to play” invitation to the playground. Ted Kord can still handle the mantle of Blue Beetle in his own way while playing mentor to the younger bearer of the title in Jaime Reyes. Ray Palmer can continue to be a crazy mad scientist (and teacher) while his prized pupil Ryan Choi stumbles upon his machinations. Oliver Queen doesn’t have to be just some young buck billionaire criminal face puncher to tie into a mildly popular TV show and can (hopefully) have a beautiful Van Dyke again. And Superman can… uh, Superman can be dead for some dumb reason that apparently was so uninspired I didn’t actually know he was gone until I read this issue and now realized the Tomasi take on the character I was getting super excited about won’t really be the character coming this week. I guess not everything immediately becomes bright and shiny again just because Geoff Johns and his creative cohorts (who all collectively killed it with their pencils and inks and coloring jobs) brought a big old bag of hope to the table with this giant sized grasp at reclaiming the DCU’s glory, but it’s still a damn good start.Now, to wind this down, I did a lot of talking about hope in this piece and I also did a little session about “swinging for the fences” with concepts that could just as likely be gold as much as it could turn out to be bullshit; and if anyone knows anything about this issue by now, they know the ending comes with a bit of the latter to go with a lot of the former. I honestly don’t know where things the revelation that things in the DC Universe proper have apparently been fiddled with by a certain big blue man-god with a big blue man-god wang created by a grumpy man with a big frizzy beard in one of the most defining comic books of all time, but as far as the tie-in itself it was a combination of a “Whoa” moment with a “this could go horribly fucking wrong, I kind of wish no one had bothered” sense of dread. In and of itself I am admittedly intrigued, but as I outlined in the opener to this, I’m ready to dismiss it at the drop of a hat if it turns sour, so long as it overall does not interfere with my getting some quality runs on some of my favorite characters; and given the talent assignments we know of so far in the Rebirth era, I’m optimistic they will come. DC UNIVERSE REBIRTH, if it has done anything, has instilled me with a sense of optimism that someone with a big voice in the company understands what makes the characters and the universe they inhabit tick and given the talent bookings we’ve seen I think that viewpoint has spread into the bullpen. It could all turn to shit, of course, and I’ll be back here again in five years talking about disappointment come opportunity and framework and I’m prepared for that outcome, of course; I’ve been in this game too long not to be. But for one week in the month of May in the Year of Our (Big Blue Wanged) Lord 2016, Geoff Johns and some super talented artists showed me a glimmer what could be and my jaded ass bought it, so I cannot call this universe-defining issue anything but a resounding, eighty-page success.
Humphrey Lee has been an avid comic book reader going on fifteen years now and a contributor to Ain't It Cool comics for quite a few as well. In fact, reading comics is about all he does in his free time and where all the money from his day job wages goes to - funding his comic book habit so he can talk about them to you, our loyal readers (lucky you). He's a bit of a social networking whore, so you can find him all over the Interwebs on sites like Twitter, The MySpaces, Facebookand a blog where he also mostly talks about comics with his free time because he hasn't the slightest semblance of a life. Sad but true, and he gladly encourages you to add, read, and comment as you will.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: STEVE ROGERS #1
Writer: Nick SpencerArtist: Jesús Saiz
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Lionel Putz
Let’s talk for a minute about cynicism, spoilers, and the new CAPTAIN AMERICA: STEVE ROGERS #1. Before I had a chance to pick up the issue, or even consider buying it, the internet was already alive and overflowing with spoiler-filled headlines like the one over at Entertainment Weekly proclaiming “Captain America a Hydra plant: Marvel's Nick Spencer, Tom Brevoort talk new comic.” This went up Wednesday morning long before my—or really, anyone’s—comic book shop had opened, and on its release date. Like many, many, many internet commenters (you all blew up our comments section last week about this and we hadn’t even done an advance review of the book), I was immediately baffled by, and slightly angered with, the decision to take the character who is essentially the Marvel version of Superman—earnest, wholesome, optimistic—and turn him into a Hydra double-agent, the most cynical of possible interpretations.
So, naturally, I went and bought the issue over my lunch break.
And that’s sort of the problem with stunts like this, and with comic book nerd-rage in general. We decry these stunts over and over again, but they drive sales. I don’t fall for all of them; I doubt many of you do either. But sometimes they just grab your eye, and the curiosity trumps the cynical reaction, and you end up with the damn book in your hands anyway.
So is this issue any good? Right off the bat, I found the $4.99 cover price irksome, especially when DC was releasing the value-conscious $2.99, 80-page DC Universe: Rebirth #1 on the same day in an attempt to move away from cynicism and back to the hope, optimism, and love detailed in Rob’s review last week. (That Marvel continues to steal DC’s thunder at every given turn should be a given by now, but I’m still amazed at the precision with which they pull it off time after time.) The oversized opening installment follows parallel stories of modern day Steve Rogers returned to his youthful vigor after spending the past several years depowered and aged-up while Sam Wilson assumed the mantle (they’re now sharing the title, and Sam has the shield, which is a plot point a couple of times), while periodically flashing back to 1926 with Steve as a small boy accompanying his mother who meets a helpful stranger looking to do some charitable good in the Rogers’ lives. As spoiled pretty much everywhere online and in social media, the two stories dovetail in the end of the issue when we are shown that the helpful stranger in the ‘20s was a Hydra recruiter targeting Steve from the time he was a boy as the adult Steve Rogers chucks also-ran superhero Jack Flag from a plane while saying “Hail Hydra” in all his meme-spawning glory to a still-captive Eric Selvig.
The story drags a bit in places as it struggles to put pieces in place for what this new series will be. There are some interesting, funny, and potentially terrifying moments drawing parallels between the Red Skull and Donald Trump, between Hydra and the many disenfranchised and underemployed Americas who support him. The political beats are not subtle, so if your “Make America Great Again” hat is a conversation piece and point of pride (shout out to you, Uncle Bill!), this book may not be for you. If, on the other hand, you’re a Bernie bro still clinging to shattered campaign hopes (hey Dad!), you might be a bit more on board for this book’s particular political message.
Which brings us back to Captain America: Agent of Hydra. Specifically, why? Just why do this? Clearly I understand both the marketing logic (the Death of Superman still coming back to haunt us 25 years later), and the timing (see: previous political discussion that I loathe, hereinabove), but just why? Is Cap running the dumbest, longest long-con in history? And to what end, both for us the reader, and for Nick Spencer, the author? He’s clearly playing with some big ideas, but for a story that wasn’t that engaging, a political metaphor that’s a little too close to home to be comfortable, and a plot twist that makes no logical sense, it’s really difficult to see where this is going. While I might ride this one a little closer to the final scene of the accident, it’s really difficult for me to endorse it for any of you. The internet may have driven me to buy this particular book, but if it hasn’t already done so for you, save your money. A headline will spoil it for you later whenever they inevitably buy back this particular (and misguided) change.
Lionel Putz is a lawyer by day. He watched Matlock in a bar last night; the sound wasn't on, but he's pretty sure he got the gist of it. Email him at lionel.putz@gmail.com
JUSTICE LEAGUE #50
Writer: Geoff JohnsArtist: Jason Fabok
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Masked Man
The bombastic Darkseid War finally comes to an end, in a way no one could have guessed, and it seems like that was Johns whole goal from the beginning. As this story arc is a real testament to a writer’s ability to make stuff up (also known as pulling it out of his @$$). From the get go I had trouble following the logic of this story and the finale doubled down on the “What, what, whaaat?!”
Ok, let’s get into the spoilers! So, Grail has gone all villain on us, giving Steve Trevor the Anti-Life Equation (which Johns never defines), in hopes that he will kill everyone, because he’s the first man to step foot on Paradise island (Johns never explains why that’s important either). Grail then kills Super Woman, to get her baby, the son of Mazahs, which can be used as some sort of gadget (or as Optimous Douche nicely put it: #babycannon). Just point the baby at a super being, yell Mazahs, and the baby steals the person’s powers- which you, as the baby holder can now use. (Yeah- wha?) Well sort of. While it takes the ‘god’ powers from the Justice League, the Leaguers still retain their standard superpowers. (Well that’s convenient) With baby in hand, Grail then takes the Anti-Life Equation back from Trevor and using “an ancient Amazon ritual, slaughtering an enemy, then resurrecting them in a chosen host” she turns the baby into full growth zombie Darkseid (Wha- ancient- since when!? What the hell is going on here!?) Meanwhile, Green Lantern finally gets Batman out of the Mobius chair, just when Batman finally, after 12 issues, learns something useful from the chair: How to stop Grail. Answer, tie her up in Wonder Woman’s golden lasso and command her to stop zombie Darkseid (Wait, they needed the Mobius chair for that unoriginal battle plan!?) Meanwhile, Owlman steals the Mobius Chair and runs away with Grid. What happened to Power Ring? Well Power Ring, under Jessica’s control, sacrificed herself to the Black Racer. Everyone was really sad that Jessica died with Power Ring, but then they remember all the Rebirth promos showing Jessica as the new Green Lantern, so only Power Ring died. Keeping in the vein of Rebirth, apparently the Watchmen kill Owlman and Grid, so now all the Crime Syndicate members are dead. (anyone care?) Epilog time, Lex Luthor quits the League and goes to rule Apokolips even though he no longer commands the Omega Effect. Superman dies, because of the dip in the fire pit on Apokolips- so Luthor finally does kills Superman (wait, is that why he dies in his own book?) Batman knows there are three Jokers. And Wonder Woman discovers she has a twin brother. (wait, what? I’m sorry I checked out a few pages ago- Wonder Woman has a twin brother!? Gee, I can’t wait to spend money on that story arc.)
Wow, just wow. I mean, A+ for insane, unbridled imagination, which I would say is lacking in many modern comic books. But there was almost no set-up to these crazy schemes. Like maybe tell us earlier on that there is an Amazon ritual to create zombies before you pull it out in the climax of the story. And what about Metron? The guy (not sure if he’s a New God anymore) who had the Mobius Chair before Batman. Remember he was up to something back in issue #46? Well that was never touched upon again. Or what happened to Lena Luthor, why did she send Superman and Lex to Apokolips? Well she never appears again. What about the relationship between Metron and Mobuis, what was that all about? What was the forbidden that Mobius saw and how did it curse him with the Anti-Life Equation? And just what is the Anti-Equation, as it pertains to this story, anyway?
Now how about a little plot hole: So it was the Anti-Life Equation that allowed Mobius (aka the Anti-Monitor) defeat the Crime Syndicate and destroy Earth- 3 and now to kill Darkseid. The Anti-Life Equation also allowed Steve Trevor to kill Mobius. Then this happens: Mazahs (and now his baby) has the ability to steal anyone’s powers, even a god. So #babycannon rips the Anti-Life Equation from Steve Trevor. Well that’s weird, why didn’t Mazahs do that to defeat the Anti-Monitor back on Earth-3? Saving Earth-3 and prevent all this from happening? The World may never know.
And how about DC’s greatest super villains. First the Crime Syndicate, the evil versions of the Justice League, so powerful that they have all been killed. Then there’s DCU biggest baddest villain of all time, Darkseid! Well he was killed, turned into a zombie and now he’s a baby- yup we now have a baby Darkseid running (well crawling) around. Ya kill’n me Johns, ya kill’n me.
As for something positive to say: the artwork. Jason Fabok just drew the hell out of this series. The cover looks great as does every splash page (although, why shirtless depowered Lex Luthor was charging the #babycannon Grail with the rest of the League is beyond me).
Back when the rumor came out that Geoff Johns and Jim Lee might be taking over the JUSTICE LEAGUE, I was praying it was true. Now that Johns has wrapped up his 50 issue run, I can’t remember what I was praying for. On the Masked Man’s scale of Crap, Poor, Decent, Good, and Great: The JUSTICE LEAGUE’s “The Darkseid War” scores a POOR.
Proofs, co-edits & common sense provided by Sleazy G
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