Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.

Okay... last I heard, Lee (ONCE WERE WARRIORS) Tamahori was attached to direct the follow-up to Verhoeven's ultra-glossy, ultra-stupid sex thriller. I know they've been beating the script into submission over the last few months, and today I get some news from one of my most trusted spies... news that the new draft is in and that there's been a bit of a shuffle in helmers for the project. So who does he say is in the seat now?

David freakin' Cronenberg, baby.

This isn't fair. I can't help but go and see a new Cronenberg film. OUt of all the horror directors of his generation, he's the one who I find the most consistently interesting and who seems to have the most integrity. Even when he's made duds like M. BUTTERFLY (a mismatch with the material) or CRASH (chilly and clinical to a fault, leaving you disconnected from the fetish rather than offering any sort of glimpse at what draws someone to one), he always seems to be chasing his own personal diseased muse. And his older work? Fuggedaboudit! VIDEODROME is the movie that made me finally break down and buy a DVD player. I had no choice once I realized it was available letterboxed. I could go on and on about the intense personal philosophy of his early horror films like SHIVERS, THE BROOD, RABID, SCANNERS, and THE FLY, or the towering brilliance of DEAD RINGERS, or how he made one of the truly great King adaptations with THE DEAD ZONE.

Right now, though, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the notion of him doing BASIC INSTINCT 2. What happened to SPIDER, the film I thought he was gearing up on? What happened to RED CARS? I'm confused. Take this as a rumor for now, and I'll keep digging to see if I can either verify this conclusively or lay the rumor to rest. Until then...

"Moriarty" out.