
Greetings, all. Ambush Bug here with another AICN HORROR: ZOMBIES & SHARKS column. This week’s picks have just about everything I love about horror: sharks, zombies, cannibals, serial killers, evil legends, ghosts, and giant monsters!
But before we start, I have a trio of Kickstarters to make you aware of!
KATRINA HATES THE DEAD is a comic with a premise that sounds super fun. Here it is: Katrina is a sacrilegious horror comedy with tons of monster killing, action, and a trip to Hell to confront the Devil! Described as a sort of LEFT BEHIND, but with more monster decapitations and a trip to Hell, creator Russell Nohelty is trying to garner enough money to publish this book. Check out the preview of the book below in the Kickstarter pitch video and if you think it’s worthy of your hard earned money, you can make a pledge here!
Another project attempting to gain funding from is THE HIGHRIDGE MASSACRE, a bloody and violent slasher webseries from writer/director Luke Brady that is described as: BETH and her so-called friends head to Highridge Woods for a debauched weekend, but after an altercation upon the group’s arrival, things spiral out of control when they cross paths with the Venners--a savage family of tattooed gypsies who cut, burn, and dismember their victims, leaving a trail of blood and carnage wherever they go. As the Venners maim and kill, Beth's medication wears off and she starts to join in the killing spree. Suddenly the Venners have a problem on their hands, the hunters become the hunted and Beth begins to wreak havoc amongst friend and foe.
Check out the awesome pitch video below that pretty much sums up what this is going to be all about. If you like, head over to THE HIGHRIDGE MASSACRE Kickstarter page and give them some support!
Finally, here’s a horror game from horror director Akçay Karaazmak called THE DARK INSIDE ME. I don’t know much about gaming (I spend too much time with comics and movies), but the Kickstarter pitch video below is pretty well done. If you’re a gamer and love horror, this one seems to be capable of delivering the goods. Check out the snippets from the game below, and if you think it’s worth it, click on this link and support the film with your hard earned ducats!
On with the horror reviews!
(Click title to go directly to the feature)
Retro-review: SAVAGE WEEKEND (1979)
Retro-review: CHRISTINE (1983)
Short Cuts: THE BABYSITTER MURDERS (2015)
DEATH’S DOOR (2015)
QUEEN CRAB (2015)
DARK REVISIONS (2013)
SHARK LAKE (2015)
A PLAGUE SO PLEASANT (2013)
GRAVY (2015)
A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY (2015)
THE GREEN INFERNO (2014)
And finally…Mark Fratto’s FIRST NIGHT IN THE NEW HOUSE!


SAVAGE WEEKEND (1979)
aka THE KILLER BEHIND THE MASK, THE UPSTATE MURDERSDirected by David Paulsen, John Mason Kirby (uncredited)
Written by David Paulsen
Starring William Sanderson, Christopher Allport, Jim Doerr, David Gale. Devin Goldenberg, Marilyn Hamlin, Caitlin O'Heaney, Jeff Pomerantz, Yancy Butler, Adam Hirsch
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
This movie is kind of awesome, and if the surprise in that statement is not evidently communicated, I really was taken aback at how much I liked SAVAGE WEEKEND. Though filled with painful dialog and hammy performances, the atypical story and grungy style really did win me over by the end, plus it has some performances by some recognizable faces that I found to be pretty damn endearing.

The fact that this film predates FRIDAY THE 13TH is crucial, because the well-known tropes of slasher films today weren’t really set yet in 1979 (of course, HALLOWEEN had come out a year before that and it does seem to be heavily influenced at least in the fact that the killer has to have an iconic mask, an attempt that SAVAGE WEEKEND fails at miserably). Because of this, the film plays fast and loose with the rules of horror as we know it, making this film a little less predictable than your typical slash fest. Still, the film does feel like it takes a lot from TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE as it incorporates both the redneck demeanor and, of course, the chainsaw in the story. The film plays with expectations and presuppositions. Red herrings are tossed out as to who the masked murderer is, and the story really does play with prejudices townies have towards those living in less populated areas quite a bit. This factors into who turns out to be a hero and who is the victim, and made my ability to predict the way this film plays out pretty difficult.

There are tons of sex and boobs to be seen in SAVAGE WEEKEND. HE KNOWS YOU’RE ALONE’s final girl is bubbly and fantastic here, as is TV actor Christopher Allport as an openly gay man taking on bigoted townsfolk with a broken bottle and a Brooklyn attitude. While the dialog is often cringeworthy, the actors spouting the lines have a lot of talent, so most of the time it sells. And while the budget is low, including the dime store mask the killer wears, SAVAGE WEEKEND is one slasher flick that excels because it is so different from most of the others you’re bound to have seen. I highly recommend this film to fans of the slasher genre, as the performances and twisty story are bound to please.
BEWARE: This trailer contains savage boobies! NSFW!


CHRISTINE (1983)
Directed by John CarpenterWritten by Stephen King (novel), Bill Phillips (screenplay)
Starring Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Robert Prosky, Harry Dean Stanton, Christine Belford, Roberts Blossom, William Ostrander. David Spielberg, Malcolm Danare, Steven Tash, Stuart Charno, Kelly Preston, Marc Poppel, Marc Poppel, Robert Darnell, Richard Collier, Bruce French, Douglas Warhit, Keri Montgomery
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
I never liked CHRISTINE. I admire King and Carpenter as the modern masters of horror that they are, but there was always something about the performances by the cast of CHRISTINE that I never bought or found to be likable in the least, so it was difficult for me to muster up the interest to even sit down again with it, but I did anyway for the sake of this review.

For some reason, I always hated Keith Gordon’s performance in this film. I can’t exactly pinpoint it, but when he starts to become “cool” it never felt convincing to me. Maybe that was the point, but Gordon’s performance as Arnie just never really sang to me and since he is the central figure of the film, I found that to be the main reason why this film never really connected with me. When he’s nerdy, he’s so pathetic you want to punch him. When he’s acting cool, I wanted to do the same. I’m sure Gordon is a perfectly nice dude, but for some reason, in this film, I just wanted someone to throttle him unconscious.

The car effects here are great. Seeing Christine repair herself is pretty astounding to behold and again adds to the cool factor of this film. But it never really hit me as scary, per se. Of course the Carpenter soundtrack is always fantastic to listen to. The driving beats seem made for a film that takes place on a dark and dangerous road. But then again, Carpenter gives Christine personality by having her play old rock and roll tunes and as effectively cinematic as Carpenter’s synth score is, the boppy rock and roll definitely kills any and all sense of horror. So while there are some fine moments of terror in CHRISTINE, for me at least, the film shoots itself in the foot quite a few times and counters every scare with a scene that feels either lame or forced. I understand many claim this to be a classic, but for me, CHRISTINE runs on fumes.


THE BABYSITTER MURDERS (2015)
Directed by Ryan SpindellWritten by Ryan Spindell
Starring Caitlin Custer, Ben Hethcoat, Alison Gallaher, Mike C. Nelson, Bradley Bundlie, DeMorge Brown, Trian Long Smith, Joe Hartzler, Barak Hardley
Find out more about this film here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Writer/director Ryan Spindell offers up a short homage to slasher films with quite a few twists and turns to make it all feel new and interesting.

Well acted and tensely directed, THE BABYSITTER MURDERS (the title alone is a tribute, as that was to be the original title of HALLOWEEN way back when) is a short that will leave fans of the slasher genre smiling. It’s quickly paced and highly energetic while still offering up some well-timed scares. When it’s available online for all, I’ll repost at the bottom of this column, but if you can’t wait, the short is playing at Fantastic Fest now!
The Babysitter Murders (Trailer) from Ryan Spindell on Vimeo.

DEATH’S DOOR (2015)
Directed by Kennedy GoldsbyWritten by Kennedy Goldsby
Starring Tommy 'Tiny' Lister, Obba Babatundé, Chico Benymon, Andrew Cappelletti
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
I try to be pretty nice to low fi indie horror flicks. Even though the budgets are low, when a film is made with an obvious and evident love of the genre , I will recognize that and it will instantly make the film more watchable for me. DEATH’S DOOR is an indie film, but it feels like none of the cast or crew gave two shits about making an effective horror film and because of that, I have no love to give to it at all.

If I was feeling generous, I’d say there was a NIGHT OF THE DEMONS vibe going on with this film as, for the most part, it follows the story structure pretty closely. The problem is that there are too many pretty people in peril here, and absolutely none of them are developed one inch as distinct characters. For an hour and a half, these uninteresting underwear models scream at one another only until they die one by one. There’s no real reason for them to be angry at each other, but for some reason they all decide that, instead of trying to figure out why they are trapped in the house, it’s better to scream insults at one another and then split up occasionally so some of them can fuck.

Lister’s rugged presence is completely wasted here. He’s covered in bad burn makeup and doesn’t say much more than a grunt through the entire film. This is just a big bunch of nonsense filled with screaming people who took a week off from the gym and the tanning bed to shart out a movie. I most likely have put more work into this review than the filmmakers did with the script, so I’ll end it here. DEATH’S DOOR is soulless and senseless and just not worth anyone’s time.

QUEEN CRAB (2015)
Directed by Brett PiperWritten by Brett Piper
Starring Michelle Simone Miller, Kathryn Metz, Rich Lounello, A.J. DeLucia, Steve Diasparra, Danielle Donahue, Ken Van Sant
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

A little girl loves her pet crab so much she feeds it some plants from her father’s laboratory when he isn’t looking, and the crab grows to mammoth proportions. Years later the girl has grown into a curvy little country girl, but her love for the crab has never faltered. But when the crab begins wandering off her property and eating some of the cows next door, the local police and the military are called into to take care of a wicked case of giant crab.

That said, QUEEN CRAB isn’t trying to be a sophisticated film. The acting is hammy, the effects are shoddy, and the story is as predictable as your next bowel movement. But it does involve planes and tanks battling a giant CG crab, so there’s an undeniable fun factor that made me kind of love this little low fi movie. QUEEN CRAB is not a great flm, but it is a lot of fun if you’re a fan of those giant monster films of old.

DEADLY REVISIONS (2013)
Directed by Gregory BlairWritten by Gregory Blair
Starring Bill Oberst Jr., Mikhail Blokh, Cindy Merrill, Lise Hart, Gregory Blair
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

Oberst plays Grafton Torn (which even sounds like a King character), a man who wakes up in a hospital with little knowledge of how he got there. Trying to get back into his life, he remembers that his wife has left him and his world seemed to be crumbling around him. Right off the bat, Grafton is plagued by nightmares that seem to be ripped straight from the horror novels that made him famous. Taking solace in his busty therapist, his effects guy best friend, and his ex-wife, Grafton tries to piece back together the night he took a tumble down the stairs and still keep his fraying sanity together.

My criticism comes from the ending, which rang a bit too much like a Scooby Doo story for my tastes. Things are wrapped up pretty well by the time the credit roll begins, and while the finale may have left me a bit wanting, the strong performance by Oberst and the genuinely fun jolts throughout make DEADLY REVISIONS a writer horror story worth delving into.

SHARK LAKE (2015)
aka THE LAKEDirected by Jerry Dugan
Written by David Anderson, Gabe Burnstein
Starring Dolph Lundgren, Sara Malakul Lane, Lily Brooks O'Briant, James Chalke, Michael Aaron Milligan, Ibrahim Renno, Lance E. Nichols, Miles Doleac, Frederick Douglas Plunkett Jr.
Find out more about this film on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
See Dolph Lundgren punch sharks!
If that sentence intrigues you then you’re the type of person (like me) who will find SHARK LAKE entertaining despite its many shortcomings.

Every action movie cliché is touched upon in this film except JAWS, and it’s because of that refusal to simply remake JAWS that I love this movie. The mayor doesn’t pressure for the beaches to be opened. Instead, they wage a full-scale war against the sharks, resulting in casualties. Because every other shark movie made follows the JAWS template, good shark movies are hard to find. Now, don’t get me wrong: SHARK LAKE isn’t a great movie, but it does get points for taking the path less followed. Still, the action movie clichés abound as Dolph is forced by crooks to get back into the exotic animal trafficking business, or it means curtains for his daughter. There are some clichéd action sequences involving Clint’s reluctance to get back into the life that result in some punching, kicking, and weaponeering. Still, if you’re a fan of Dolph (and who isn’t, really?) the elder action star still seems to have the muscle and skill to perform these scenes. He even shows a softer side in his interactions with his estranged daughter that I was impressed with as well.

Still there are a couple of creepy scenes involving a marine biologist snorkeling as well as the aforementioned shark-punching scene that were enough for me to give this one a positive review simply for being fun. The acting, specifically from Dolph and Sara Malakul Lane (who will definitely be a big star someday once the beauty snags the right film), is better than what you usually get in this type of picture. Don’t expect JAWS-level tension and horror, but this film smartly acts as if the film didn’t exist. Go expecting some awesome Dolph vs. shark action and I think you’ll be as tickled with SHARK LAKE as I was.

A PLAGUE SO PLEASANT (2013)
Directed by Benjamin Roberds, Jordan ReyesWritten by Benjamin Roberds
Starring David Chandler, Maxwell Moody, Eva Boehnke, Kaylee Bridge
Find out more about this film on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Wow! This was a fantastic film! It’s the type of film that you give to folks who are sick of zombie films to show them that there is still room for fresh and new ideas in the zombie genre. Yes, there are too many zombie films, but some of them are actually well done, and this is one of the best zombie films you’re going to see this year.

A PLAGUE SO PLEASANT is overflowing with fun and exciting new ideas that take what we know about zombies and turn it on its ear. The film smartly offers a fresh perspective, playing with the notion that if we hadn’t reacted violently to the zombies in all of those films, maybe there would have been a way for us and them to coexist peacefully. Sure it’s a bit of a pacifist stance, but after enduring so many films taking a more aggro approach, it’s like a breath of fresh air to see the whole zombie apocalypse seen from another viewpoint. The themes of A PLAGUE SO PLEASANT are also intriguing as, while early zombie films could be used as a rich allegory for consumerism, racism, militarism, or whatever, more recent zombie flicks have cut out those themes and just made it about us versus them. But this film rips its thematic heft straight from the headlines, as a single act of violence triggers a response of apocalyptic proportions. While this feels like a response to the Ferguson riots and the Michael Brown case, it also is reminiscent of the assassination of Kaiser Wilhelm to spark the beginning of World War I. A PLAGUE SO PLEASANT is the type of film that you want to talk about with those you watch it with after the film, and when was the last time you saw a zombie movie that could do that?

While some of the makeup is dodgy, the film also has some creepy effects, such as the aforementioned blind zombie makeup. The acting is an oddity as well. It’s not necessarily bad--just otherworldly, as if the actors are aliens trying to act like humans. Maybe this is a statement about how a worldwide catastrophe makes people distant and inhuman, or maybe it’s just a stylistic choice by the director. But all inhumanity washes away once the zombies start running, as I was fully invested in the well-intentioned efforts of the protagonist. A PLAGUE SO PLEASANT was probably made for a fraction of the budget of a single episode of THE WALKING DEAD. Nevertheless, it is a powerful and potent film no fan of horror with depth and resonance should miss. Made a few years ago, this film was finally released, and it’s a powerful entry in the zombie genre.

GRAVY (2015)
Directed by James RodayWritten by James Roday & Todd Harthan
Starring Michael Weston, Jimmi Simpson, Sutton Foster, Lily Cole, Molly Ephraim, Paul Rodriguez, Gabriel Luna, Lothaire Bluteau, Ethan Sandler, Dule Hill, Gabourey Sidibe, & Sarah Silverman
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
GRAVY is a hyperkinetic and wicked comedy that goes to some impressively dark places. With a talented cast of comedic actors and a frantic style of direction and story, this is definitely some good GRAVY.

The comedic strength of the cast is what makes GRAVY infectiously watchable. Seeing these actors, who mostly have done TV work, bounce off of one another in this obscenely odd situation is pretty fun. The fact that this occurs on Halloween and everyone is in costumes makes it even better. The plot of the three cannibals is pretty ingenious in a THREE STOOGES kind of way as they figure killing and eating their prey in a restaurant allows them to have easy access to the cooking part of the process. It’s just that the restaurant workers just won’t die and that’s what makes this gory fun. In the meantime, victims fall in love with cannibals, cannibals fall for their victims, and all sorts of weird interactions occur. This is the type of film where gory action punctuates snappy banter and it goes on like that until the end.

I laughed quite a bit at GRAVY and the gorehound in me was satiated as the entire cast ends up covered in tons of blood and other forms of bodily harm. The deeply dark humor was appreciated by this fan and there are some great stylistic choices to some of the key scenes involving slo mo as well as mixing schmaltzy 80’s music with moments that are supposed to be deep between two characters. I understand this type of wonky and wet comedy is not going to be for everyone, but if you don’t mind laughing while your face is splattered with blood, GRAVY is going to be something you’re going to want to slurp up.

A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY (2015)
Directed by Grant Harvey, Steven Hoban, Brett SullivanWritten by James Kee, Sarah Larsen, Jason Filiatrault, Doug Taylor, Pascal Trottier
Starring William Shatner, George Buza, Percy Hynes White, Oluniké Adeliyi, Rob Archer, Jeff Clarke, Jessica Clement, Corinne Conley, Robert Coughler, Zoé De Grand Maison, Amy Forsyth, Glen Gaston, Ken Hall, Adrian Holmes, Shannon Kook, Debra McCabe, Paige Moyles, Michelle Nolden, Alex Ozerov, Alan C. Peterson, Joe Silvaggio
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY is tied together as it takes place on one specific night, which is the anniversary of a pair of murders of some high school kids at a local school. Each of the four storylines cuts back and forth to one another as the story goes on, but all still occupy the same universe. I don’t want to give too much of each story away, but it’s all tied together by a radio DJ played by William Shatner who joyously gets drunker and drunker as the night goes on. Shatner is not too over the top here, and actually does a great job selling his role as the jolly soul who loves Christmas despite all of the evil things going on in the city.

One of the stories that seems a bit out of place from the rest is about Santa Claus fighting a horde of zombie elves at the North Pole. This story offers up some of the most dramatic and exciting moments, but it feels out of whack with the rest of the more reality-grounded film. This inconsistency is rectified by the end, and while it is an outlier, seeing Santa go nuts and beat the shit out of rabid elves and the Krampus itself is pretty amazing.

The fourth story is most like the other Krampus movie coming out in about a month about an ungrateful family visiting their relatives in order to get a handout. The family is made up of a bunch of real shits, and the actors are quite convincing in their roles. This one does a decent job with the Krampus myth and has some nice gory scenes as well as a pretty impressive full body Krampus suit.

That said, I laughed and jumped quite a bit at A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY. It’s a fantastic celebration of everything gruesome and festive all mixed together into one grab bag of gory goodies. Well acted and directed, this is a strong film and worth seeking out, though it’s tough that it came out so early and will most likely miss its market as it would be a ghoulishly great film to watch during the holiday season.

THE GREEN INFERNO (2014)
Directed by Eli RothWritten by Eli Roth & Guillermo Amoedo
Starring Lorenza Izzo, Ariel Levy, Aaron Burns, Kirby Bliss Blanton, Magda Apanowicz, Ignacia Allamand, Daryl Sabara, Nicolás Martínez, Sky Ferreira, Eusebio Arenas, Richard Burgi, Matías López, Ramón Llao as the Headhunter, and Antonieta Pari as the Elder!
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
It was interesting to me reading the talkbacks after Capone’s review of THE GREEN INFERNO the other day. The talkbacks lit up with a lot of Eli Roth hate and a lot of ire towards cannibal films in general. Now, I understand why folks might not like cannibal films. Some people have a tolerance for those types of films (I’m one of those who is pretty fascinated with this subgenre of horror) and others hear the premise or even the notion of cannibalism and immediately start up the negative responses. I understand that cannibalism is a taboo subject and there is also a form of prejudice going on with these types of films, but still,

Going a bit deeper, maybe Roth’s HOSTEL and the torture porn films that came after which for the most part highlight a person strapped into a chair and feeling helpless while being taken apart piece by piece was a response to the helplessness the world felt after 9-11 as viewers sat in horror watching the towers fall. Maybe it is that feeling that filmmakers were able to tap into at the time with torture porn and as society began to cope with and move on from those events, they grew more and more disdainful towards those feelings, and thus have the same disdain towards those types of films and their poster boy, Eli Roth. I eventually want to get to THE GREEN INFERNO, but I had to get that little rant off my chest before going into the film.

The thing that should be noted here is that this is probably the best produced, best acted, and best effects in any cannibal film ever made. For that alone, I have to give this film a positive nod as I am a fan of these cannibal films, but will admit that most are shittily put together and acted. Roth does a great job of soaking in the vibrant green landscape the film is named after. In contrast, the clay-covered natives’ red skin gives them an alien feel which immediately suggests danger. It’s this simple color palette that makes this film beautiful to look at. Even the gore, which there is plenty of, is represented in vivid Italian film crimson, again a standard in these films. Roth definitely shows he can capture imagery in a grander scope here, something a lot of horror filmmakers often have difficulty with as horror is so often an intimate experience.

This film is definitely a devious one in tone and theme. It’s not the deepest theme, but one that I never get sick of, that being the hypocrisy of man. Having literal babes in the woods go save the “poor” savages has been a common misconception for hundreds of years. Religious groups have just been replaced by social justicers who often naively pontificate just to hear their gums flap. Again, this isn’t a new theme (hell, it was the prevalent theme of the last RAMBO film), but it still is a powerful one to see these folks eat crow while they are being eaten themselves.

Still, there is something to be said about being the latest, best looking, and most highly produced cannibal film you’re ever likely to see. The gore is very gratuitous, but while it will gross out teens who have never watched a cannibal film before and consider the height of horror to be the INSIDIOUS movies, it really doesn’t go any farther than most other gorefests readers of this column would likely see. THE GREEN INFERNO is a well made cannibal film. There’s even a guide to the history of the cannibal film towards the end of the credits. If you don’t like Roth or this subgenre of horror, it’s not going to do anything to convince you otherwise. But if you’re a fan of either or both, I think you’ll be impressed at the quality of Roth’s homage to a type of horror film he obviously cares quite a bit about.
And finally…here’s a spooky five-minuter from writer/director Mark Fratto starring Katelyn Marie Marshall & Miriam Roth. This one’s high on the right combination of mood and ambience and does a lot of really cool things with sound. Try to have a good night’s sleep after watching FIRST NIGHT IN THE NEW HOUSE from Insane-O-Rama Productions!
See ya next week, folks!
Ambush Bug is Mark L. Miller, original @$$Hole/wordslinger/writer of wrongs/reviewer/interviewer/editor of AICN COMICS for over 13 years & AICN HORROR for 4. Follow Ambush Bug on the Twitters @Mark_L_Miller.


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