

Here’s a bit of cool horror news. I’m always a fan of the little theaters that support horror films, and the folks at The Williams Theater at 1 Williams Plaza, Rutherford, New Jersey are showing a triple feature of NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, FRIGHT NIGHT, and SHAUN OF THE DEAD on Saturday in hopes to raise awareness to save the theater from being closed. You can find out more about the whens and wheres here! If you’re close, you should support small business theater owners and check it out!
On with the horror reviews!
(Click title to go directly to the feature)
ARMY OF FRANKENSTEINS (2013)
BLOOD MOON (2014)
THE CURSE OF DOWNERS GROVE (2015)
RUN HIDE DIE (2012)
FELT (2014)
DEVIL’S BACKBONE, TEXAS (2015)
CONTRACTED: PHASE II (2015)
LOST AFTER DARK (2014)
BLOOD PUNCH (2013)
THE HARVEST (2013)
PARA ELISA (2012)
BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS (2015)
And finally…Ray Bradbury’s ”Dark They Were, and Golden-Eyed!”

ARMY OF FRANKENSTEINS (2013)
Directed by Ryan BellgardtWritten by Ryan Bellgardt, Andrew Swanson, Josh McKamie
Starring John Ferguson, Jordan Farris, Christian Bellgardt, Lucas Ross, Rett Terrell, Raychelle McDonald
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

ARMY OF FRANKENSTEINS begins in the middle of the Civil War era as both battle-weary armies seem to be on their last legs. Out of a foggy battlefield rises a strange figure, walking stiffly yet possessing the power of ten men. Behind him are other large men exhibiting the same behaviors and upon coming into view, it is clear to the army (and anyone who has ever seen a Frankenstein film) that this is not just one, but an army, of Frankenstein monsters. Jump to the present and a young man named Alan Jones (Jordan Farris) is having difficulty with his girlfriend after catching her making out with her boss at the grocery store. This seemingly banal happenstance leads Alan to a laboratory straight out of a classic monster movie with a cantankerous old scientist (John Ferguson) and a child assistant named Igor (Christian Bellgardt). Unbeknownst to Alan, he’s a key to the past and a descendant of a Civil War hero, and when the scientist taps into the time stream Doc Emmett Brown-style he sends Alan and Igor back in time to the Civil War era we saw in the opening.

The design of the monster itself is rather cliché. I understand why this version of the creature was used, but the Boris Karloff/Herman Munster-style design of Frankenstein’s monster, bolts and all, has been used so much it has lost its imposing feeling through the years. Still, seeing an army of them is amazingly fun, especially since they are all clones of the same creature. And while the tech to replicate the same character is a bit rudimentary here, it still rings as very fun.

A film like ARMY OF FRANKENSTEINS always impresses me in that it achieves so much on a low budget. It’s very much a love letter to those classic horror films of old, but also plays with time travel themes made popular in BACK TO THE FUTURE, all of which is done in a fun, Saturday morning matinee manner lost to most modern films.

BLOOD MOON (2014)
Directed by Jeremy WoodingWritten by Alan Wightman
Starring Shaun Dooley, George Blagden, Tom Cotcher, Barrington De La Roche, Raffaello Degruttola, Jack Fox, Dave Fulton, George Webster, Corey Johnson, Tony Law, Eleanor Matsuura, Amber Jean Rowan, Kerry Shale, Anna Skellern, David Sterne, Joan Walker, Ben Warwick, & Ian Whyte as the Skinwalker!
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
A genuine love for both horror and the classic western makes BLOOD MOON a fun low fi movie to give a look see to.

Doing a mash up like this is often extremely difficult, as you almost have to make two movies in one, and if either is subpar, then the entire film is likely to fail. It’s evident that director Jeremy Wooding and writer Alan Wightman love Westerns. The film borrows heavily from spaghetti Westerns of old as a mysterious stranger wanders into town to help them against a despicable evil. There are all sorts of Old West dialecting going on as the outlaws and the simple folk word-battle it out with the wolf outside. People are challenged to draw, and the fastest gun in the West title is challenged. There is even a sheriff riding in on horseback to save the day. It’s all there in a sort of greatest hits form that pays homage to the Western, though it doesn’t really add anything new to the genre.

Yes, there is a prevalent low budget nature to BLOOD MOON. The cast is made of mostly unknowns or character actors you will recognize but don’t know the name of. Still, there’s an evident love of both horror and westerns here that can’t be denied, making this a fun little endeavor in both genres.

THE CURSE OF DOWNERS GROVE (2015)
Directed by Derick MartiniWritten by Bret Easton Ellis & Derick Martini (screenplay), Michael Hornburg (novel)
Starring Bella Heathcote, Kevin Zegers, Helen Slater, Lucas Till, Penelope Mitchell, Zane Holtz, Mark L. Young, Tom Arnold, Martin Spanjers, Jacqueline Emerson, Kayla Servi, Steven Martini, Marcus Giamatti, Sherilyn Henderson, Jeff Staron, David Jason Perez, Joseph Daniels, Joel Michael Kramer, Caleb Penrod
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
While this film has a bit more bite than I would have thought it would have, THE CURSE OF DOWNER’S GROVE doesn’t have much going for it in terms of safe “pretty people in peril” horror.

Immediately, this film annoyed me as the monotone voiceover from Heathcote is enough to make you want to slice your own wrists. Overcome with first world problems, she just can’t take the boredom of living in the burbs. Sure things get real when she is almost raped and I started feeling for her, but beginning the film with someone mumbling out discourse about the curse of Downer’s Grove and how much she hates living there is not a good way to make you want to give a shit. If anything, it helps you hope bad things happen to her, which works for a slasher film from the 80s but not so much in a film where you are supposed to care about the lead character.

Add on an absolutely wooden performance by Lucas Till and you’ve got a pretty bad film on your hands. I will give it to this film: the final scenes go to a level of violence that I wasn’t expecting, especially since everything seemed to be playing it pretty safe for most of the film. Many people die, faces are smashed in, and shotguns go blazing. But the violent and over the top ending just doesn’t save the malaise-filled cast of THE CURSE OF DOWNERS GROVE.

RUN, HIDE, DIE (2012)
aka THE ANNIVERSARY, RUN, HIDE, DIE: NO MERCY, NO ESCAPEDirected by Collin Joseph Neal
Written by Alison Monda
Starring Alison Monda, Alicia Mendez, Ivey Bronwen, Tabitha Bastien, Keiko Green, Gail Harvey, Nathan Christopher Haase, Philip D. Clarke, Ronee Collins, Julianne Gabert, Samara Lerman, Bruce Newburn, Andy Dopieralski, Scott C. Brown, Thomas Brophy
Find out more about this film on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
RUN, HIDE, DIE starts off sooooooo well, but dammit if it doesn’t shit the bed by the time the real threat rears its ugly head.

RUN, HIDE, DIE starts out really strong, with an assemblage of a bunch of likable and personable young actresses. One of them recently lost her husband and the rest gather with her to cheer her up. The first half of this film is infectiously appealing, as the girls talk like normal girls and quite a few of them are downright hilarious. Actress Alicia Mendez is the standout, as her performance as Indy is pretty much the highlight of the film with her often crass but always hilarious banter she provides to lighten up the situation every time things get too heavy. When I first started watching this film it felt a lot like the first moments of THE DESCENT, where the female cast felt genuine in their interactions with one another. When things were meant to be funny, they were hilarious. When things got serious, you actually felt the resonance. This is the exact way I felt about the first 45 minutes of this film, as these gals really were fun to hang around.

I haven’t been this disappointed in a film in a while. Though some of the actresses may have long careers with Mendez leading the pact as she shows great range at being likable, funny, and able to get serious when necessary, this movie is not the one that will rocket any of them to superstardom. Some films ends up being bad right out of the gate. But when films like RUN, HIDE, DIE come along with so much promise in the opening moments, it’s an even bigger disappointment when it shows it really has nothing apart from the personality of the cast to propel it. Bad, bad movie.

FELT (2014)
Directed by Jason BankerWritten by Jason Banker & Amy Everson
Starring Amy Everson, Kentucker Audley, Ryan Creighton, Elisabeth Ferrara, Roxanne Knouse, Brendan Miller, Alanna Reynolds, Tony Ruiz, Mark Skubala, Brandileigha Stracner
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Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Billed as a feminist psychological horror film, I feel labeling FELT as such is a bit of a detriment to the film, and to the feminist movement as well. I would hope the feminist movement doesn’t want people to believe that its ultimate goal is to castrate all males (or maybe it is), as that’s what this movie seems to imply if feminism is the lens we are supposed to view this film through, so I prefer to look at this film as a look into a deeply damaged mind and leave it at that.

As a psychological study, FELT is fascinating. The quiet moments where Amy dons her costumes and explores the woods with her dildo and sword are rather fascinating in a trainwreck/”what the hell is this loon going to do” sort of way. Director Jason Banker flashes to these scenes in between somewhat normal interactions with saner folk like Elizabeth and Kenny. The blossoming love story between Kenny and Amy is actually quite touching, as Kenny recognizes she is somewhat off and seems to want to help Amy be more stable. The quiet scenes between the two as Amy reveals parts of her past to him and shares her phallic and vaginal artwork with him is the most touching part of the film. In contrast to these scenes, we get the beautifully grotesque scenes of this secret life in costume. In this world Amy places herself in dangerous situations, literally walking naked in the woods and answering ads for naked photo shoots with seedy photographers. Again, Banker films these scenes as if we are talking a tightrope, anticipating the moment when the delicate balance of Amy’s world will drop out from under her.

Being a male, I don’t want to disregard this film for its attempts to make a feminist statement, but again, I feel having a mentally unstable woman as a protagonist really doesn’t lend credit to feminism, be the instability attributed to past male interactions or, more likely, chemical imbalance that could be rectified with therapy and medication. So again, I don’t want to think of this as so much of a feminist message but rather a portrait of a deeply flawed human being attempting to reach out and connect, but lacking the skills or the support to achieve it. In that, the film is beautiful, engaging, and quite fascinating to see unfold. It’s not for the squeamish as it has some very socially uncomfortable and sometimes gory scenes, but FELT is a really powerful film despite the philosophies that have unfortunately been adhered to it.

DEVIL’S BACKBONE, TEXAS (2015)
Directed by Jake Wade WallWritten by Jake Wade Wall
Starring Jake Wade Wall, Alex Fierz, James Carrington, Jodi Bianca Wise, Rick Fergunson, Helen Ferguson, B.C. Wall, Alexandria Fierz, Jack Glover, Avery Atchley, Savannah Atchley, Marilyn Baxter, Michaela Beach, Charlie Beatty, Dusty Trungale, Debra Bro, Haley Buckner, Daniel Gordon, Janice Spence, Corey Ramseur, Chock Woodruff, Arnold Krammer
Find out more about this film on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Utilizing the shockumentary format, which is the slightly more sophisticated and hotter older sister of the found footage subgenre of horror, DEVIL’S BACKBONE, TEXAS proves to be a flawed but spooky little thriller.

I was moved by the concept of a son trying to understand why his father wasn’t there for him. It’s an emotional core that really comes across well in this story, so as far as the emotional hook, DEVIL’S BACKBONE, TEXAS is pretty successful as Wall convinced me that this was a deeply emotional journey for him. In doing so, half the work is done because nabbing that personal investment goes a long way to reel you in and most of the time, I’ll go wherever the story takes me if the emotional pull is there. In a few early scenes of Wall interviewing locals who knew his dad, this movie hooked me.

Another issue of the film is that, despite the fact that the movie is supposed to be somewhat of a documentary, it becomes found footage about halfway through as Jake and the Scooby crew investigate the Devil’s Backbone ranch. I understand that there isn’t any acknowledgement of the cameraman when the documentary footage was shot, but when things get real and the danger is imminent, the cameraman stays mum and none of the cast acknowledge him. It’s only the last moments, as Jake goes off on his own and asks the cameraman to accompany him, that it is even acknowledged and talked to. This may be a minute detail, but it’s the type of stuff that makes you question the format chosen and feels as if it wasn’t completely thought out.
Rules of found footage aside, the emotional core of DEVIL’S BACKBONE, TEXAS is a strong one. The film isn’t perfect, but it does deliver some solid scares, and the tension in the barn and cabin scenes are thick and creepy. While the ending may cause an eye roll or two, the trip there makes it almost worth it in the delivery of heart and scares.

CONTRACTED: PHASE II (2015)
Directed by Josh ForbesWritten by Craig Walendziak
Starring Matt Mercer, Marianna Palka, Peter Cilella. Adam Robitel, Alice Macdonald, Anna Lore, Morgan Peter Brown, Elisha Yaffe, Charity Daw, Suzanne Voss, Yvette Soledad, Ossey James, Laurel Vail, Najarra Townsend, Caroline Williams
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Though I found the character to be pretty annoying in the original CONTRACTED, Matt Mercer’s Riley is much more likable than the lead from the original. CONTRACTED: PHASE II does what a good sequel should--captures the gory magic of the first film and ups the ante a few notches--but in doing so, it kind of betrays what it is trying to stand for.

I’m of mixed feelings about CONTRACTED PHASE II. The film definitely continues to deliver uncomfortable gore, compelling ethical arguments about the state of health care and a statement about how insular our interests are in terms of how we affect society. The gore is amazing here, as the film gives an intimate and up close look at Riley’s decomposing body. Blood, vomit, and puss are squirted and splattered about relentlessly, and some will find this movie nauseating because of it. It’s done with absolutely amazing effects, and those who appreciate practical effects have a lot to love here.

And that’s where my biggest problem with CONTRACTED PHASE II. The story seems to want it both ways: it wants an intimate story of getting sick and dealing with it yourself, but also wants to broaden the scope and focus on the man who created the virus and an apocalyptic terrorist plot. If the film would have had two protagonists—Riley and then another investigating the terrorist--I think it would have been more successful. Instead of that Riley is given a heroic cause to stop the eco-terrorist, which felt out of character for a guidance counselor and what we know about the character from the previous film. I understand the shortcut made here in order to make the film simpler to follow, but there’s a reckless nature to this film as Riley contaminates everyone he comes in contact with that made me really hate the character for not letting people much more qualified do their job of tracking down the killer.
Still, this is a gross-out fan’s dream as there are all kinds of absolutely nauseating moments of blood and grue. The film kind of crumbles when you look below its surface and examine the themes, but while it feels like it’s going all over the place narratively, CONTRACTED PHASE II at least delivers the yucks in abundance.

LOST AFTER DARK (2014)
Directed by Ian KessnerWritten by Ian Kessner & Bo Ransdell
Starring Kendra Leigh Timmins, Sarah Fisher, Jesse Camacho, Elise Gatien, Justin Kelly, Stephan James, Eve Harlow, Alexander Calvert, Lanie McAuley, David Lipper, Robert Patrick, Michael Vincent Dagostino, Rick Rosenthal, & Mark Wiebe as Junior Joad!
Find out more about this film on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Take a retro-80’s slant and give it an unconventional flavor and something old feels like something brand new again. This is the case with LOST AFTER DARK.

On the surface this is your typical stalk n’ slash. It’s a story about an inbred cannibal butcher chasing after kids in the woods. What makes this film cool is that it takes what we have come to expect about these types of films; from the final girl trope to the order by which folks get offed and turns everything on its head. Playing with our expectations of who will live and die, this film immediately lets the viewer know that those rules don’t apply here and while LOST AFTER DARK wants to make you think it could be sitting on the video shelf in any video store circa 1987, the sophisticated way it bucks convention makes it much more entertaining.

Still, this film takes all of the cool stuff from those 80’s slasher films and makes it all shiny and new again. It’s not purposefully laughing at the eighties. It simply takes place in the era and doesn’t make a big deal about it. Other films have attempted this and it makes for an obvious slideshow of a montage of 80’s pop references. Yes there is a Rubik’s Cube and a Star Wars reference. But most of the time, this film plays it straight and it makes the whole film a more fun, and more effective experience. Plus it’s got Robert Patrick as a disco loving, corvette driving, Nam’ flashbacking, hardass principal who makes every scene he is in riotously fun. For anyone who watched a horror film in the eighties and loved it, yet returned to that film recently and felt disappointed, I recommend LOST AFTER DARK. It takes all of the stuff that works and gives it a tweak and a twist, making it retro, but still scary cool.

BLOOD PUNCH (2013)
Directed by Madellaine PaxsonWritten by Eddie Guzelian
Starring Milo Cawthorne, Olivia Tennet, Ari Boyland, Fleur Saville, Adelaide Kane, Mike Ginn, Cohen Holloway, Amanda Reed
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Taking a strong idea and tossing it into a new genre is something that works on occasion. Take the premise of GROUNDHOG DAY and toss it in a dramatic future warzone and you’ve got the fun EDGE OF TOMORROW. Plunge it into blood and pitch black humor, and you’ve got BLOOD PUNCH.

So yes, GROUNDHOG DAY meets BREAKING BAD with a Native American curse thrown in and a wall full of edged weaponry and gun power. BLOOD PUNCH is violent and dark, but most importantly, the film is funny. It has a no-fucks-given attitude that a lot of Tarantino’s films possess, where people don’t act like they have one ounce of humanity. Instead they say a lot of cool things and do a lot of violence with not a lot of remorse. There are moments of callousness and moments of absolute terror and it’s got that level of violence that amps it up to cartoonish levels as the number of times the murders occur increase.

At times, the script of BLOOD PUNCH can be a bit too pretentious for it’s own good as it knows it is a cool script a little too much. Some of the lines come off as a little bit too JUNO-esque, which means to say things are a bit more scripted. No one talks like this in real life. But Tarantino and Kevin Smith have made entire careers with movies featuring characters who don’t talk as if they were real people, so I can’t fault this film for it that much. As is, BLOOD PUNCH is a deadly humorous romp that isn’t afraid to shed blood or offend to make you laugh or wince. Those of you who like comedy of the blackest and bloodiest kind will definitely want t seek BLOOD PUNCH out.


THE HARVEST (2013)
aka CAN’T COME OUT AND PLAYDirected by John McNaughton
Written by Stephen Lancellotti
Starring Samantha Morton, Michael Shannon, Natasha Calis, Charlie Tahan, Peter Fonda, Leslie Lyles, Meadow Williams, Journey Smith, Nolan Lyons
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
The writer/director of HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER offers up a subtle, yet terrifying serving of drama that definitely will echo in your brainpan long after the credits.

The thing I loved about this film is that it kept me guessing. I had heard it was a horror movie, but the less than idyllic family setting seemed much more ripe for a thick drama piece than actual horrors. The subject of an overbearing and hypersensitive family is often good stuff to mold high drama around and I was wrapped up in the drama for pretty much the entire film. So much, that when the unusual and somewhat terrifying stuff begins to happen, it really does throw you for a loop. I won’t reveal the twist here, though I will say it snuck up on my and really upends this film from riveting drama to edge of your seat thriller in a bold and effective manner. The horrors run deep and very, very emotionally charged once the curtain is pulled back as to what is really going on in Andy’s home.

THE HARVEST is a harrowing and terrifying film. Not because of jump scares or synth bangs, but because it deals with real human emotions taken to extreme levels. Modern horrors should take note that this is the type of subtle and slow burning horror isn’t normally seen, but was quite prevalent in the more sophisticated horror films of the 70’s and 80’s. THE HARVEST is a top tier horror film that takes its time to reel you in before it wallops you on the head with the dark depths the film plunges into. Highly recommended.

PARA ELISA (2012)
Directed by Juanra FernándezWritten by Juanra Fernández
Starring Ana Turpin, Ona Casamiquela, Luisa Gavasa, Jesús Caba, Sheila Ponce, Pep Anton Muñoz, Enrique Villén, Pablo Viña, Frederic Tomàs
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Reviewed by Ambush Bug
PARA ELISA might sound rather familiar, but little tweaks and subtleties make it a rather twisted and distinct small scale horror film.

Yes, this is HOUSE OF THE DEVIL meets THE BABY or SPIDER BABY or maybe more accurately, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE, with a little bit of MISERY tossed in for good measure. But while the film does borrow heavily from these films, there are some pretty amazing little nuances this film uses in order to make it rather distinct. The use of creepy dolls is always a surefire way of causing the creep and while the porcelain ones are mildly sinister looking, the real horrors are Elisa’s dolls which look like real life mounted babies. These horrifying little creatures are often seen in the periphery of this film and definitely add levels of terror in the close quarters the film is set. These real life babies also signify how Elisa views Ana as her own little baby doll, as if she is sick of these lifeless little creatures and now wants a walking talking doll of her own to love and squish. Seeing the irrational child logic go on in Elisa’s head is truly terrifying, especially since Ana is the victim of it.

The performances here are awesome. Turpin’s Elisa is the epitome of innocence one minute and an explosive powder keg the next. You can’t help but root for Casamiquela to get out of this apartment of horrors alive. Both actresses do a fantastic job and though, I’m sure it was the director’s idea to make them look very similar, that is really my main fault with the film as occasionally, not having ever seen either actress before, I occasionally got confused who was who. Still the struggle between Elisa and Ana is epic, though trapped in a very tiny locale, making it all the more claustrophobic and climaxing to a level of tension few films rarely see.
On the one hand, this is a pretty simplistic trapped in a small space thriller. But there are some levels to PARA ELISA that really bored under my skin. Be it references to Beethoven’s Für Elise in the title, the inundation of creepy dolls, names with subtle meanings, or throwaway scenes that really add to the tension, director/writer Juanra Fernández makes a really devious little film with sneaky terrors as well as overt ones.

BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS (2015)
Directed by Brian James O'ConnellWritten by Dr. God, Ryan Mitts
Starring Fran Kranz, Pedro Pascal, Joey Kern, Joel Murray, Emma Fitzpatrick, Yvette Yates, Justin Ware, Marshall Givens, David F. Park, Sean Cowhig, Parvesh Cheena, Zabeth Russell
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
OFFICE SPACE with vampires is the best way of describing this pretty solid comedy with a lot of familiar and talented faces.

CABIN IN THE WOODS’ Fran Kranz stars as Evan, a middle-management pushover who is devout to his boss (Joel Murray), but not really respected by his slacker office worker underlings, one of which is his roommate and best buddy Tim (the always hilarious Joey Kern from CABIN IN THE WOODS and one of my favorites, THE SASQUATCH GANG). Evan also has a rocky relationship with HR worker Amanda (THE COLLECTION’s Emma Fitzpatrick). But none of that compares to the problems he has when a corporate shill Max (GAME OF THRONES’ Pedro Pascal) shows up to restructure the office paradigm and worse yet, turn them all into vampires!

Still, Kranz and Kern are really good in BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS. Kranz plays the straight man well while still being able to pull off some Jason Bateman-esque one liners that give his character more bite than your usual schlub character. Kern is a hidden comedic gem in any comedy or horror he takes part in and again shines here as Kranz aloof and carefree buddy who really isn’t fazed by all of this vampire stuff. I definitely recommend BLOODSCKING BASTARDS as it hits its mark on just about all levels. Bringing things to a close is difficult in any movie where you’ve establishing interesting characters that you would like to continue to see develop. In BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS, I could have watched Kranz, Kern, and the crew go about their daily business and been fine with it. But the rules of story make it necessary for a challenge to arise and a resolution to be had. I can’t fault this movie much for having the same problems with resolution that many, many comedies and horror films have had in the past. There is a lot of goopy gore, though little scares in BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS. If you’re looking for a comparison, I’d say VAMP is a good one, and given that I loved VAMP to death, that’s about the highest recommendation I could give this film. BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS is a gory good time with top level comedy doused from head to toe with vampire innards.
And finally…here’s another radio play of intergalactic proportions from a true master of suspense, terror, and imagination, Ray Bradbury. From Bradbury 13, here’s a horrifying trip to Mars called “Dark They Were, and Golden-Eyed!”
See ya next week, folks!
Ambush Bug is Mark L. Miller, original @$$Hole/wordslinger/writer of wrongs/reviewer/interviewer/editor of AICN COMICS for over 13 years & AICN HORROR for 4. Follow Ambush Bug on the Twitters @Mark_L_Miller.


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