
Greetings, all. Ambush Bug here with another AICN HORROR: ZOMBIES & SHARKS column. It doesn’t matter if it’s not October. Halloween comes weekly here at AICN HORROR. Here’s another batch of horror goodies for your trick of treat bags!
And don’t forget to check out my rundown of the horrors to come at the Bruce Campbell’s Horror Film Fest at Wizard World Chicago this weekend and then listen to the CANNIBAL HORRORCAST we posted this week for IT FOLLOWS and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET! On with the horror reviews!
(Click title to go directly to the feature)
Retro-review: HOUSE OF 1,000 DOLLS (1967)
Retro-review: LA GRANDE BOUFFE (1973)
Retro-review: CANNIBAL TERROR (1981)
Retro-review: NOMADS (1986)
Retro-review: CATACOMBS (1988)
Retro-review: THE VAMPIRE JOURNALS (1997)
EJECTA (2014)
CUB (2015)
Advance Review: …IN THE DARK (2015)
And finally…ESCAPE Radio Play: BLOODBATH!


HOUSE OF 1,000 DOLLS (1967)
aka HOUSE OF 1000 PLEASURESDirected by Jeremy Summers, Hans Billian (as Manfred Koeler)
Written by María del Carmen Martínez Román (Spanish version), Harry Alan Towers (English version, as Peter Welbeck)
Starring Vincent Price, Martha Hyer, George Nader, Ann Smyrner, Wolfgang Kieling, Sancho Gracia, Maria Rohm, Luis Rivera, José Jaspe, Juan Olaguivel, Herbert Fux, Yelena Samarina, Diane Bond
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
While this film just barely fits the bill as a horror thriller and comes off as missing the mark completely as the sleazefest it suggests from its posters, the appearance of Vincent Price elevates HOUSE OF 1,000 DOLLS to watchable status.

Sounds like some sordid and devious shit, huh? Well, HOUSE OF 1,000 DOLLS is about as tame as you can get. While some of the stuff like seeing a girl in a nightie shackled up in manacles might have been risqué in 1967 when this film was released, it’s downright quaint in this day and age. Though it’s not my cup of tea, anyone looking for S&M or even T&A in this film are going to leave sorely disappointed at the PG stuff on display here. For the most part the horrors happen off-screen, and all we as the audience get to experience is the aftermath and the commentary on how horrific it is within the walls of the House of 1,000 Dolls. But we never really get to see any of these horrors that are spoken of in hushed whispers and furtive glances; instead, this plays out as a detective story with Stephen tracking down the clues in order to bring the police to Manderville’s doorstep. It’s not a bad cat and mouse sleuther, but it definitely doesn’t deliver on what it advertises.

While uneven and often misleading, HOUSE OF 1,000 DOLLS does have Price in it, so it has that going for it. Utilizing the scenes with Price and bringing the film to an exciting conclusion saves this film and almost makes it worth seeing, but the rest of the film is tame and rather boring. Sleaze fans will be disappointed, as will lovers of tightly woven detective films. Still, Price fans have another undusted and flawed gem to discover.
BEWARE: This trailer is not in English, it’s *gasp* in German!


LA GRANDE BOUFFE (1973)
THE BIG FEAST, THE GREAT FEED, BLOW OUTDirected by Marco Ferreri
Written by Marco Ferreri & Rafael Azcona (scenario & adaptation), Francis Blanche (dialog)
Starring Marcello Mastroianni, Michel Piccoli, Philippe Noiret, Ugo Tognazzi, Andréa Ferréol, Solange Blondeau, Florence Giorgetti, Michèle Alexandre, Monique Chaumette, Henri Piccoli, Maurice Dorléac, Simon Tchao, Louis Navarre, Bernard Menez, Cordelia Piccoli
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
My god, what a movie! While it may be a stretch to call LA GRANDE BOUFFE a straight up horror film, it definitely falls in line with the cinema of the grotesque and therefore is welcome here at AICN HORROR.

Four upper class men gather together in a mansion to eat themselves to death. While doing so, they hire three prostitutes and garner the eye of a local schoolteacher who turns out to be just as depraved as the men. Surrounding themselves with decadent bric-a-brac and talking about preparing one dish after another, the men eat and eat and eat in hopes to leave this world doing what they all love to do: eat. Lots of sex and gorging on food, sometimes at the same time, occurs in the film as one member of the quartet dies after another.

If watching people eat and noticing how close we all really are to ravenous animals is a notion that makes you sick, avoid this movie at all cost. The foodies may enjoy it as it celebrates their methodology of excess and fascination with not only the consumption, but also the presentation. This is a gaudy yet gorgeous film that mocks the decadent lifestyle while highlighting it, a quality of the film that will elude those caught up in the phenomenon of excess. Still, it holds a warped mirror to modern society, which all good horror movies do. So while there is a relatively low body count, the deaths that do occur are disgusting and memorable. LA GRANDE BOUFFE is one of the most original and terrific horrors I’ve seen in quite a while, making me disgusted while making me think. If you can stomach a man farting himself to death while playing a piano, then LA GRANDE BOUFFE might be the right type of wrong for you.
BEWARE: This trailer is in French and is definitely NSFW!


CANNIBAL TERROR (1981)
aka TERROR CANNIBALEDirected by Alain Deruelle (as A.W. Steeve), Olivier Mathot & Julio Pérez Tabernero (uncredited)
Written by Julio Pérez Tabernero, H.L. Rostaine, Jesús Franco (uncredited)
Starring Silvia Solar, Gérard Lemaire, Pamela Stanford, Olivier Mathot, Bertrand Altmann, Stan Hamilton, Antoine Fontaine, Antonio Mayans, Michel Laury, Annabelle, Mariam Camacho
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
While most of the Italian cannibal films run together for me, at least CANNIBAL TERROR tries to spice up the story, which makes it a bit more watchable than most of its kind.

The twisting and turning plot with characters at various levels of bad is a staple of Tarantino films, and if you like those types of films about crimes gone wrong due to the weakness of men, then you’re bound to find something appealing here. While the film doesn’t go to the depths CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST does with depictions of animal deaths, it does manage to toss in some sleaze with the gratuitous rape of a woman bound to a tree intermingled with a love scene between two other bandits. I don’t know if both scenes are meant to titillate or if the director is trying to fuck with the mind of the viewer by mixing a rape with a consensual copulation, but it is a juxtaposition of imagery that left me feeling completely off kilter. Still, I don’t know if this was an intentional mindfuck the director was going for or a happy accident, as this film is not really that smart and I might be giving it more credit than it deserves.

Still, CANNIBAL TERROR is oftentimes laughably bad, as the tribesmen seem to be either Italian or tan Americans and look nothing like natives. No effort really was made at authenticity in regards to the native culture to give the natives a uniform look other than swaddling little diapers, as their makeup differs from one native to the next and makes no sense. Most of them look like someone just went to town on their faces while sleeping at a party with a sharpie. Still, for its dumb do it yourself fun that sometimes stumbles on a poignant message here and there, you could do much worse in terms of cannibal films than CANNIBAL TERROR.
BEWARE: This trailer is definitely not safe for work viewing!


NOMADS (1986)
Directed by John McTiernanWritten by John McTiernan, Barry Stern
Starring Lesley-Anne Down, Pierce Brosnan, Anna Maria Monticelli, Adam Ant, Mary Woronov, Héctor Mercado, Josie Cotton, Frank Doubleday, Jeannie Elias, J. Jay Saunders, Alan Autry, Frances Bay
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
I know there are a lot of folks who kind of dig this “Pierce Brosnan runs from punk rock demon ghosts” flick, but NOMADS bored me to tears when I first saw it and did so again rewatching it recently.

Directed by the legendary John McTiernan (DIE HARD, PREDATOR), I was hoping to be blown away by this film upon rewatching it, tossing aside my initial blah attitude I previously had for the film upon first seeing it on VHS in the 80s. Unfortunately, the plot is still a dragger as the dual storyline becomes rather redundant after a while when we realize the demons are real. It feels as if the story was really supposed to be following Leslie-Ann Down’s character through the whole thing, but to cash in on the REMINGTON STEELE popularity of the time, they tried to bulk up the bits with Pierce Brosnan to take advantage of it, so what you get is a film that is more interested in the flashbacks than the present story.

The film remains as gritty and dark as it did back in the Eighties when it was released. Most of the time you can’t even distinguish the faces of these demon bikers enough to recognize that glam rocker Adam Ant and genre queen Mary Woronov are among their ranks. With a misguided story, monsters that really aren’t that threatening or scary, and a phoned in performance by Brosnan, I once again found it really hard to find anything to like about NOMADS.


CATACOMBS (1988)
aka CURSE IV: THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICEDirected by David Schmoeller
Written by David Schmoeller (as Giovanni Dimarco) , R. Barker Price
Starring Timothy Van Patten, Ian Abercrombie, Jeremy West, Laura Schaefer, Vernon Dobtcheff, Feodor Chaliapin Jr., Brett Porter, Michael Pasby, Mapi Galán, Nicola Morelli, Julian Jenkins, Ted Rusoff, Leslie Thomas, Giordano Falzoni, G. Ferretti
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
There’s nothing like defacing religious iconography to get the blood pumpin’. CATACOMBS may be a low budgeter, but it is a film from the time of Empire Pictures, and those films really knew how to stretch a buck!

While the story is rather ridiculous and something that feels like it would be comfortable occupying page space in an EC comic, the eye for effects and the commitment of the actors who are going for the gold in every scene for everything to be taken seriously is what makes CATACOMBS a winner. While Tim Van Patten has been in much better films, he’s great here as the noble young monk, and there is much scene chewing by Ian Abercrombie, Jeremy West, and Vernon Dobtcheff, who tout the way of the good book with conviction. Finally the demon itself takes the form of Brett Porter, and is not guilty of gnawing on the scenery but still remains pretty scary in his old age and demoned up makeup.

While everything devolves into a typical big earth-shaking (i.e. camera shaking) standoff between good and evil in the bowels of the catacombs and there are tons of goofy moments such as the tendency for the possessed to do air punches at people causing damaging blows to its victims across the room, CATACOMBS’ more quiet moments utilizing the religious iconography really got under my skin in a way most Empire films didn’t, so I have to give it to this film for achieving that. Paired on this BluRay double feature with the much less effective feature CELLAR DWELLER (reviewed here), if you’re a fan of those old Empire films, this is the one to seek out.


THE VAMPIRE JOURNALS (1997)
aka SUBSPECIES: IN THE TWILIGHT – THE VAMPIRE JOURNALSDirected by Ted Nicolaou
Written by Ted Nicolaou
Starring Jonathon Morris, David Gunn, Kirsten Cerre, Starr Andreeff, Ilinca Goia, Constantin Barbulescu, Mihai Dinvale, Dan Condurache, Mihai Niculescu, Petre Moraru, Rodica Lupu, Floriela Grappini, Diana Lupan, Maria Dimitrache-Caraman
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
The creator of the SUBSPECIES series, Ted Nicolaou, didn’t seem to feel he said enough about vampires, apparently, and decided to give a new take on an old monster. Unfortunately, THE VAMPIRE JOURNALS pales in the shadow of those old and cool vampire flicks.

After the action packed opener, we are treated to a lot of pretty-boy vampire angst and weakly executed romance through bloodsucker-red tinted glasses. Zachary (David Gunn) is our sword swinging vampire with a bleeding heart for the love of Rebecca (Rodica Lupu), but this love for a human puts him in direct conflict with Ash, the king of vamps (a foppish Jonathon Morris). There’s a lot of gazing at the moonlight and longing for love. There’s a lot of decadent parties held by Ash and his vampire council. Finally, Ash and Zachary meet in an opera house and have an on stage battle that is about as ill-choreographed as they come.

I hate to be harsh, because this seemed like Nicolaou was trying to recapture that magic of the SUBSPECIES series which really was something kind of special. But instead of focusing on the cool stuff that he was carrying over from that series like the powers of the vamps, he does it all in the first five to ten minutes and then tosses it all aside in favor of the romantical vamp stuff which was just plain lame. Seek out the SUBSPECIES series instead of cracking open THE VAMPIRE JOURNALS.

EJECTA (2014)
Directed by Chad Archibald & Matt WieleWritten by Tony Burgess
Starring Julian Richings, Lisa Houle, Adam Seybold, Mark Gibson, Justin Darmanin, Ry Barrett, Ari Millen, Cat Hostick, Tony Burgess
Find out more about this film on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
EJECTA is not your typical alien visitation/abduction story, but one wouldn’t expect your typical anything from PONTYPOOL writer Tony Burgess. And while EJECTA isn’t the perfect film, there’s a lot here that will make you think and jump out of your chair.

The unconventional structure of EJECTA works to its benefit, as I feel both stories on their own might not be interesting enough to carry the weight of one film. Story one with Joe and William is made in the found footage format, with Joe filming his interview with William and catching the lights in the sky and the crash of an alien spacecraft on film, as well as the alien’s attack upon their home later in the night. While occasionally difficult to follow, I found these scenes to pack the kinetic punch needed to make the more tedious segments of Dr. Tobin torturing and grilling William for information in the chair easier to get through. It’s not that the segments between Tobin and William are bad, but they tend to get repetitious as William isn’t talking and Tobin is forced to use one empty-handed threat tactic after another in hopes of getting information. These torture sequences simply serve to fill out the runtime and serve as wraparound segments for the found footage parts of the film.

I would recommend this film to folks who are interested in alien abduction films, as it does offer a lot of bizarre imagery and hyperkinetic action sequences of alien mayhem. William Richings is a truly unique actor, and it’s nice to see a film feature him so prominently in a starring role. For that alone I support EJECTA. But while there’s a lot of alien nonsense going on, the odd structure, the fun performances from the cast, and the tension-filled chase and sighting scenes make for a truly unique alien flick.

CUB (2014)
aka WELPDirected by Jonas Govaerts
Written by Jonas Govaerts, Roel Mondelaers
Starring Maurice Luijten, Evelien Bosmans, Titus De Voogdt, Stef Aerts, Jan Hammenecker, Gill Eeckelaert, Noa Tambwe Kabati, Ricko Otto, Louis Lemmens, Thomas De Smet, Pieter De Brabandere, Jessie Tweepenninckx, Isah De Zutter, Hauke Geirnaert, Ebe Meynckens, Ymanol Perset, Nabil Missoumi, Jean-Michel Balthazar
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Sometimes when you mix different colors it all turns out looking grey and colorless. But sometimes, when the right elements are blended, something brilliant is made and that’s what CUB turns out to be. By snagging little bits of ideas from here and there, CUB ends up being something wholly original and entertaining from start to finish.

This film is brimming with ideas that feel innovative and cool. While the concept of the feral child has been done before in modern fables such as THE JUNGLE BOOK and LORD OF THE FLIES, it feels fresh here setting it against a woodland horror backdrop. Placing kids in harms way is something Spielberg cut his teeth on in Amblin, and to a point, this film has an Amblin feel to it as these kids seem to really be in danger. But there’s a point in this film where the stakes are raised and kids do die which makes the horror feel all the more palpable and real as you just don’t see that type of horror in American films. The death toll is surprisingly high here as Sam’s battle against the Cub and his even more evil Master up the ante of the hunt and take it from the thick forest to their expansive bunker under the woodland floor. The action in CUB is as intense as the horror comes from how brutal the action beats climax to. This is no slasher film where the killer stabs someone and they fall dead immediately, in this film, the horrors last long and it takes much longer for people to die, which makes it much more impactful and real.

CUB is a brutal piece of cinema and highlights a true force of nature in terms of filmmaking by director/writer Jonas Govaerts and his co-writer Roel Mondelaers. From start to finish, this is a film that moves at a rapid and dangerous pace. And though there is never a dull moment, CUB is also dripping with character as we really feel for Sam and his evolution from picked on outcast to savior and beyond. Young Maurice Luijten reminds me of the grit and toughness you saw in a young River Phoenix and offers up a powerful performance here as Sam. Most of the time when kids act tough in films, it’s done so to be cute and done for laughs. Here, Sam is in a fight for his life and though his stature is small, he gives his everything to survive and attempt to save his cub-mates and counselors. This is the level of danger you just don’t see in mainstream films.

I can’t recommend CUB enough to fans of horror. It’s the kind of film that doesn’t come around often and though it’s not in English (a turn off to some viewers, but not myself), it’s one of the best horror films you’re bound to discover this year. Overstuffed with cool moments, breakneck action, and tons of the red stuff, CUB is a film that will knock you on your ass no matter how prepared you think you are.

…IN THE DARK (2015)
Directed by David SpaltroWritten by David Spaltro
Starring Grace Folsom, Lynn Justinger, Fiona Horrigan, Catherine Cobb Ryan, Aaron Mathias, Jesse R. Tendler, Nikki Scheidt, Hayden Wall, Kayla Leasure, William Maloney
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

Young Bethany (Grace Folsom) is an aspiring art student, but lately she has been experiencing bizarre phenomenon in her basement studio. When these occurrences become more frequent, Bethany’s terrified mother (Catherine Cobb Ryan) contacts Lois Kearne (Fiona Horrigan), a respected paranormal investigator to get to the bottom of the problem. Accompanied by skeptic researcher Veronica (Lynn Justinger), Lois finds that Bethany has not been tormented by ghosts, but by a demon hungering for her soul.

On the critical side, when things do happen in the light, the budgetary limits become apparent, but this occurs late in the film and by that time, I was too engrossed in the fates of the characters to care about such things. With compelling performances and a story that really hooks, …IN THE DARK is not your typical exorcism movie and worth a look see.
And finally…let’s end this column with a little bit of what we began with, the always amazing Vincent Price and the dangers of the jungle! Turn down the lights and hunker down close to the speaker on your computer to listen to this episode of ESCAPE starring Vincent Price entitled BLOODBATH!
See ya next week, folks!
Ambush Bug is Mark L. Miller, original @$$Hole/wordslinger/writer of wrongs/reviewer/interviewer/editor of AICN COMICS for over 13 years & AICN HORROR for 4. Follow Ambush Bug on the Twitters @Mark_L_Miller.


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