Hey folks, Harry here... Ya know, I might be alone here, but I find the trailer for LITTLE NICKY a bit like have a tooth being ripped out. I like THE WEDDING SINGER, but that's it for me. That's where my adoration for all things Sandler end. Now, he's got this Paul Thomas Anderson film and this Tarantino War flick in his future... fine, both of those directors will reign him in and make him work in a film... But his speech impediment in this film is annoying in the trailer... I can't even begin to imagine the pain of 90 minutes or more. Now, unlike his previous films, this does have some cameos and special effects that I'll look at, but I'd be willing to bet... if Roger Ebert could look at the upcoming films on his viewing chart and pick ONE that he didn't have to see... it would be this one. That's pure speculation based upon his past reviews of Ebert's... and this trailer has within it... all the elements that Roger has continually pointed out regarding Sandler's comedies... HOWEVER, that won't keep Quint and Tom Joad away... they adore Sandler's work. As do a great deal of you folks out there. For you, ignore the review... you'll go no matter what anyone says. As for you on the edge folks... here ya go...
Okay, no one probably cares about my return but dagdabit, guess who's back?
It's the Mc to the Chill to the Wizard to the B (i guess that only really works for shorter monikers, huh?). Well, whatever. I wish like Skee-lo that I could be returning like Sly's trying to to tell you about some fabulous slice of cinematic "heavenly glory." But i'm not, i'm stuck looking at the finger cause Bruce Lee is dead and not around for slapping heads anymore.
Oh well. So yeah, I saw Little Nicky. Wow. Wicky-wack. Just.. just.. plain bunk. Let me break it down.
First off, I am somewhat of an Adam Sandler affecianado. I remember 10th, 11th grade, whatever, rollin' listening to They're All Gonna Laugh at You, the record by the New Englander (New England up in here!) guy who was kinda lame on Saturday Night Live but blew up the spot on Remote Control. And I was giggling my ass off - straight crying at "Tollbooth Willie," I kid you not. Then he left the SNL - thank Jah - and did the movie thing. I kinda was down with Billy Madison - its sense of non-sequiterial humor was priceless and the whole concept was pretty funny. Granted, it's funnier late at night amidst a cloud of blunt smoke but what movie isn't besides Burn Hollywood Burn? Happy Gilmore made me laugh more but also more superficially and it had the familiar cheap Hollywood comedy issue of stamina (not like I have a problem with stamina or anything... my boo says she gets sore after too long anyway so it's okay - but I don't have a problem). Anyways, the movies had the problem, not me. They'd be funny for about an hour of the 90 minute runnign time and the last half hour would trudge along, neglect humor and try to go for some faint glimmer of cute-sy meaning and conclusion. Whatever. Bulletproof was kinda funny but just sort of lost in the sauce a little bit, unfocused and big on the "who cares?" factor and probably was only funny for about 45 minutes. The Wedding Singer - well, it had a few laughs but let's just call that a non-sophmore slump movie. Along came The Waterboy and it had the same problem as earlier films- last half hour was lame and some jokes were just plain useless.
Anyways - I thought Big Daddy - though sappy as a maple farm - was the most consistently humorous of Sandler films - I chuckled even in the last 10 minutes mostly thanks to Mr. Buscemi but a laugh is a laugh. Anyways - i like the Sandler kid cause he's a fellow New England representer and he's pretty funny, albeit occasionally even too lowest-common denominator for even me.
So we arrive at Little Nicky. It's kind of high concept for an Adam Sandler film - the devil (Harvey Kietel) has three sons, two bad asses (Tiny Lister and Rhys Ifans) and one loser metalhead with a bad Aaliyah-looking haircut and an odd speaking voice, Nicky (Señor Sandler).
The two bad asses sons of Satan bounce up out of Hell, sealing off the entrance which means no more new damned souls which means no power for Satan who immediately starts to phsyically fall apart which he does throughout the film - golly, that's original and humorous. Nicky's grandad is Rodney Dangerfield and I will never understand why he's supposed to be funny - he's always been a bootleg and unfunny Redd Foxx wannabe to me but whatever, whatever, blase blah. Early on, the laughs are Nicky getting roughed up by his brothers and Satan putting tits on the head of one of his minions a death looking guy played by Kevin Nealon. Ha. I think I might of blinky blinked during that gag but my lips didn't even twitch. So anyway, Nicky goes to NYC where the brothers have, of course, gone, to get them to drink from this magic flask that will suck them in, genie in a bottle style without Aguilera's hips, and then he can bring them back to hell together since they left together. He fucks up quick and everytime he gets busted up and killed, he goes back to hell. He gets a talking dog for a guide who wants to be as funny as Triumph but isn't ever, even though you get to see him hang with strippers and tap a poddle ass in the style you would expect.
Anyways, Nicky gets a roommate of dubious sexuality, some followers of the heavy metal persuasion and meets a dorky blond chick with bad teeth and big glasses who he falls in love with. Oh, and Popeye's chicken must have laid down some major mozzarella because they get Product Placed in supreme fashion - too bad network tv probably won't let them use Sandler's line, "Popeye's chicken is fuckin' awesome."
So that's the basic rundown. The film is shot with no style, soundtracked with lame alterna-popish hits galore and paced to bore you into submission. There's stuff that maybe could have been funny if it was - the metalhead guys are sorta humorous, if not ever actually funny and John Witherspoon cracks on Patricia Arquette's fucked-up dentals, which may have made me smile, i'm not sure. A rabbit gets eaten, which is what it is... but everything else just isn't funny at all. There's plenty of unfunny cliches like the everybody gets trashed on ganja-cake scene and there's almost as many possessions as there were mask switches in M:I 2. It's like watching a Jay Leno monologue - joke after joke and none of them are funny.
Everyone in the theater I was in - albeit a small one - NEVER LAUGHED. NEVER... there was some "oh my goodness that sucked" laughter after the lights came up but never did a single line or gag even get a damn chortle. I wish I could be more specific but the whole movie is unfunny. I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her. I wish I had a rabbit in a hat and a bat and a 64' Impala. I wish Little Nicky didn't suck. Sadly, none of my wishes came true so I'ma hop up in this fountain right quick and snatch my lincolns back. I'm ghost like swayze, no one can faze me if you think you can you fucking crazy.
MC Chill Wizard B
