Hey folks, Harry here... Ya know... sometimes a point of view is exactly that... a mere point of view. Tonight, the filmmakers tested 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND (very very early as well), but coming out of that screening tonight we have two radically different points of view. Gregor Samsa... our transforming spy.... and then there is Marcus Aurelius who seemed to really really really like it. Alright... so if this is the case... then you'll probably fall into one opinion or the other... but maybe that won't be the case, as this was a very advance screening... and there are plenty of changes that this test screening was supposed to point them at. The film ain't done yet, and it has one helluva cast. Now... here's Gregor...
hi harry,
Boy oh boy. I just got home after sitting through one of the worst piles of shit I have seen in a long long long time. I am almost ready to put this up there with Battlefield Earth BAD. The obnoxious waste of time and effort I am referring to is 3000 Miles To Graceland. The director of this movie must have been smoking some serious crack. The writers must have been mixing the left over crack with whatever aerosol inhalants they had lying around and been mainlining the shit. The producers, well, they were probably too busy blowing rails of speed and cocaine to notice the director and the writers off on the other side of the room debasing themselves. Anyway…they must have ran out of money for drugs so they all decided that they should make some commercial piece of crap rehash heist movie and ram it down the throats of unsuspecting moviegoers.
So as you can tell…THIS MOVIE BLEW. If there ever was a movie that couldn’t figure out what it wanted to be, this is the one. The whole thing revolves around a bunch of “bad guys” played by Kurt Russel, Kevin Costner, Howie Long, Christian Slater, Bokeem Woodbine, and everybody’s favorite 1800CallAtt spokesman..David Arquette. This bunch of guys dress up as Elvis impersonators and rob a big Las Vegas casino. Things go really bad (a la Heat) and the gang murder and maim half the casino guards and patrons…including one featured midget (small person whatever) Elvis who takes three to the chest. Bokeem Woodbine dies here. The token ethnic guy lasted all of 15 minutes. They make some daring escape and then they have to divvy up the 3 mil and change. OF COURSE Christian Slater isn’t happy with his cut so the ringleader played by Costner executes him. Slater lasted just a little bit longer than Woodbine, and he even got 3 minutes of dialogue in! Woohoo! So what happens next? Costner’s character murders David Arquette and then he ‘thinks’ he murders Russel. Sorry folks, ole Kurt’s been there before…bulletproof vest baby. Oh man, can this plot be any more banal? Yes! So instead of just killing everyone where the money was Costner takes them out somewhere and allows Courtney Cox Arquette and her brat kid to steal the money (she was a maid or tenant at the dive motel Russel was hiding out at and where they were divvying up the money.)
Ok, so nothing new here…bad guys rob, bad guys kill each other, some random steals the loot and runs. Now I have always loved Kurt Russel even through his low moments (Escape from LA), but this movie, what were you thinking Kurt? His character is the cliché “bad guy with a conscience” and actually acts an awful lot like Ah-nold’s T2-never killing anyone and always watching out for the kid. The kid, in this case is a thieving backstabber as raised (and deserted) by Courtney Cox Arquette. This is where the movie can’t figure itself out. They keep throwing in this buddy buddy stuff with Kurt and the kid. One scene there will be executions and blood and brains everywhere and the next Kurt’s teaching the kid a lesson about how smoking is bad. Oh yeah and lets through the obligatory “Feds” into the mix just for some comic relief. In between the blood and the car chases we are treated to the comedy stylings of Kevin Pollack (A Few Good Men) and Thomas Haden Church (Wings tv series) who like all good movie cops can’t seem to get a handle on the villains. Weird!
Things just drag on and on. One car chase after another…one pointless blowing up of a gas station…one pointless child abandonment. The gas station thing is seriously goofy. Costner is trying to catch up with Russel and Cox Arquette and the kid. On his way, in his bright red ‘59 Caddy he stops for gas, and instead of paying he blows it up. SO DUMB.
Then it all comes down to one big hostage stand off. “Give me the kid and I’ll give you the money,” kind of thing. By this time I was really getting pissed off at how boring and how crappy this movie was. So what do they do? They bring in Ice-T to liven things up. What the hell is he doing in this movie? Costner hires him as some kind of Rambo style muscle to help exchange the kid for the money. I can’t figure out as to why he would have been cast, the only thing I could come up with is that its some sort of riff of his “Cop Killer” days because he kills about fifty cops in the final firefight of the movie.
This pointless piece of trash also tried push along some sub plot about how Russel was actually Elvis’ illegitimate son and that’s why Costner hated him so much, because Costner really wanted to be an Elvis bastard himself. I don’t know though, not too much of anything made a whole lot of sense. You are probably thinking that I had it in for this movie or something, and I honestly didn’t. I hadn’t heard anything about it before hand, good or bad. And I really like Kurt Russel. I wanted to like this movie. I only recently noticed that it was Executive Produced by Don Carmody who has brought us such favorites as Battlefield Earth, Get Carter, and The Whole Nine Yards. Anyway….steer way clear of this trainwreck of a movie…
Gregor Samsa Out
Meanwhile, Marcus Aurelius here really really likes the film... whatcha gonna do eh?
Howdy Harry,
Well maybe it wasn't the King himself, but it was his evil son and a gang of ex-con wannabe's. Add some scorpions, a wombat, a fire engire red '59 Caddilac (you know, with the tail fins), Vegas, showgirls, a mother and son petty crime tag team with some celebrity cameos and you've got '3000 miles to Graceland.' This is definately a departure role for Kevin Costner. He ain't Uri, Ray Kinsella or John Dunbar, he's a bad to the bone blood relate of the King who just happens to kill everyone he meets. He sports killer sideburns and a unique get rich quick scheme funded by the Riviera's Casino. Kurt Russell bears a remarkable likeness to Elvis that would make any impersonator jealous. Even Christian Slater gets in on the look-a-like scam, although he's always in the rear of the pack.
Warning, the next paragraph contains some spools. I've tried to keep the spoils down, but I wanna give y'all some idea of what's going on in this flick. By the way, the film was screened at the Pacific Winnetka in Chatworth, California in two theaters at two different show times.
We open on two fighting scorpions and then Russell's fire engine red '59 Caddy. He leaves the car for a moment and when he comes back, he sees a kid trying to steal a chrome skull valve cover. He gives chase and runs into the kid's mother, played by Courteney Cox Arquette. Throughout the film, she looks just like Lois Lane, but without the man o'steel. Russell ends up shackin with her and confesses he ain't had none in 5 and a half years cause he just got outta jail. While he's huffin and a puffin, the boy crawls into the room and pockets his wallet and cash. I don't know who the boy is played by, but his performance is nearly as good as Haley Joel Osment. Later on, a car pulls up with four guys in it and Russell greets them. We get our first look at Costner as the Mega bad guy. The gang suits up as the King and they head to Vegas. An international Elvis convention gives the gang perfect cover as they rob the Riviera of $3.2M. Things go wrong and the black Elvis gang member buys it. Christian Slater starts in with Costner and soon after, Slater meets the working end of a nickel plated 45. The beginning made me feel like I was watching 'Very Bad Things.' Russell gets the cash and Costner follows him throughout the film. Be ready for some surprises and watch out for some celebrity cameos. Jon Lovitz even plays an antiques dealer. The middle feels a bit long, but bearable. This part of the film reminded me of 'A Perfect World' with Russell in Costner's role. The ending has some surprises and a killer shoot out.
Bottom line, I liked the film very much and I would definately recommend it. The film style is akin to a Michael Mann film with some similarities to 'Natural Born Killers'. A little tweaking here and there and you've got a real winner. I couldn't see any celebrities in back, but just before the end, many of those seated in the rear reserved section, scampered off into never never land (a sure sign of celebrity attendance). Keep an eye out for this Morgan Creek release.
Marcus Aurelius
