
Greetings, all. Ambush Bug here with another AICN HORROR: ZOMBIES & SHARKS column. I won’t lie to you. This was a rough week in horror, but at least there are some tried and true classics in this week’s lot. And then there is FURY ROAD, which may not be straight up horror, but is filled with wondrous moments of thrills and chills.
On with the horror reviews!
(Click title to go directly to the feature)
The Book Creeport: NECROSAURUS REX Novel (2015)
Retro-review: THE PREMATURE BURIAL (1962)
Retro-review: THE EVIL EYE/THE GIRL WHO KNEW TOO MUCH (1963)
Retro-review: SHE KILLED IN ECSTASY (1970)
Retro-review: STIGMATA (1999)
Short Cuts: HEIR Short Film (2015)
CAMP MASSACRE (2013)
ON TENDER HOOKS (2013)
EVIL BONG 420 (2015)
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (2015)
Advance Review: SCREAM MACHINE (2015)
And finally…John Pata’s PITY!

NECROSAURUS REX Novel (2015)
Written by Nicholas DayIllustrated by Jim Agpalza (Cover)
Published by Bizarro Pulp Press
Reviewer: Mr. Pasty
So I turned a few pages of NECROSAURUS REX and immediately started wondering how a unicorns-and-rainbows guy like me, fresh off a review of THE NIGHT'S NEON FANGS, got saddled with yet another wicked tale of death and dismemberment. When I mentioned this during my recent conversation with the director of SHARKNADO, he promised to alleviate my macabre run with a copy of next month's ARCHIE comic. The only caveat? Archie fights man-eating sharks and trailer-toppling tornadoes, so the curse, it appears, will live on. Perhaps that makes me the best candidate for the job, as opposed to a hardened veteran of the genre. I have to imagine it's much easier to frighten a scaredy cat like me than some twisted mister, and Nicholas Day has delivered what he advertised, right in the insert, as a "fucked up book." Boy, he wasn't kidding.
To better determine if NECROSAURUS REX is or isn't the right book for you, I will tell you that you'll have to endure kidnapping, rape, and a tortured woman shitting out a baby in a dirty bathtub before you get to any of the actual dinosaur stuff. If you're wondering why someone would give birth through their anus as opposed to their vagina, it has to do with the fire extinguisher her captors used to...well, you get the idea. This is the kind of imagery you can expect from Day, who colors his pages with some of the most grotesque prose imaginable. What kept me from bailing and moving on to something a bit more uplifting, aside from my love for dinosaurs, is the author's gift for storytelling. Instead of just spamming fatalities, or playing the gross-out game to elicit some kind of knee-jerk response, Day carefully weaves a compelling story around real characters who are surprisingly developed considering how short the book is. That's probably because (spoiler alert) most of them are assholes and I'm sure we can all readily identify with assholes.
At its core, NECROSAURUS REX is a part-horror, part-science fiction tale of revenge with a lead character not unlike the straw-slurping halfwit from DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW. Our protagonist is labeled "retarded" several times throughout the book, but once he gets blessed with dino-might, thanks to a chimp-tested time machine, he gets his blood-soaked revenge. It's also a rebuke of technology and the selfish twits who misuse it, with frequent references to JURASSIC PARK. Discovering how a reptilian janitor can create the universe and why his favorite superhero is a T-Rex in a cape is part of what makes this book such a fun (albeit brisk) read. I will say the gory undertones and runaway hard-ons, in a delightfully unexpected way, go a long way in giving this book its own unique charm. How can something so violent and terrifying qualify as charming? I guess it's not that far removed from watching my kid play with her little rubber dinosaur, who subsists on a steady diet of gun-toting army men (but doesn't give birth through its ass).
Web heads who can’t get enough of Mr. Pasty’s word vomit are encouraged to watch him operate as Nostradumbass over at MMaMania.com here. Love, hate and Mafia Wars requests should be directed here.


THE PREMATURE BURIAL (1962)
Directed by Roger CormanWritten by Charles Beaumont (screenplay), Ray Russell(screenplay), from a story by Edgar Allan Poe
Starring Ray Milland, Hazel Court, Richard Ney, Heather Angel, Alan Napier, John Dierkes, Dick Miller, Clive Halliday, Brendan Dillon
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
While I preferred his role as Dr. Xavier from last week’s X: THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES (reviewed here), THE PREMATURE BURIAL is another rock solid genre performance by Ray Milland. In a tale that encapsulates Edgar Allan Poe’s fear of being buried alive, Milland captures the paranoia and insanity of someone who lives to avoid their own death above all else.

Milland does a fantastic job of bringing to life a phobia which in less capable hands would be pretty laughable. Seeing him go from one elaborate setup to another as a means to avoid his own burial reaches monumentally unbelievable status, but Milland delivers the lines with the same dignity that Corman’s other go-to Poe collaborator Vincent Price often possessed. The effectiveness of this entire film rests on Milland’s shoulders, and his believable delivery makes it all hit home.

Still, there are some patented Corman dream sequences that are creatively colored and warped. These sequences where Guy’s attempts to alert the world of his mistaken demise are somewhat comical, but also made horrific through Corman’s lens. THE PREMATURE BURIAL is not my favorite Poe adaptation by Corman as I lean more towards the Price-starring ones, but still, it packs quite a punch and Milland is more than a capable replacement for Price in this film.


THE EVIL EYE/THE GIRL WHO KNEW TOO MUCH (1963)
aka OBSESSION DIABOLIQUE, INCUBUSDirected by Mario Bava
Written by Mario Bava, Enzo Corbucci, Ennio De Concini, Eliana De Sabata, Mino Guerrini, Franco Prosperi
Starring Letícia Román, John Saxon, Valentina Cortese, Titti Tomaino, Luigi Bonos, Milo Quesada, Robert Buchanan, Marta Melocco, Gustavo De Nardo, Giovanni Di Benedetto, Virginia Doro, Dante DiPaolo
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
One of the biggest surprises of this week’s batch was this early thriller from master fear-meister Mario Bava. Though this one doesn’t pack the pitch black tone of BLACK SUNDAY (reviewed here) or the influential kills of BAY OF BLOOD (reviewed here), THE EVIL EYE aka THE GIRL WHO KNEW TOO MUCH is one entertaining film from beginning to end.

This is as much a romance as it is a thriller, as Roman is falling for Saxon while on this magical mystery tour of Italy. The two do share a chemistry that is not to be denied here, though anyone could fall for Roman’s big emotive eyes and genuinely innocent demeanor. She’s a girl finding herself, and though little is known about her before this adventure, she is immediately likable through Bava’s lens. Latter scenes, such as her elaborate trap to make sure no one sneaks up on her in the apartment by threading a maze of string around the apartment, highlights a goofier side of her which makes it all the more intense when she is placed in danger of the madman lurking in the shadows.

This is a film you can watch with your sweetie who doesn’t like horror and still be entertained by. THE EVIL EYE feels like a bridge between the shadow-laden noir mysteries of old and the rising Giallo phenomenon of the time with its focus on witnessed terror and the punishment for doing so. Uncategorizable and fitting in many different genres, THE EVIL EYE will make you laugh, cry, and shudder in its runtime, something you can’t often say about most horror films.


SHE KILLED IN ECSTASY (1971)
Directed by Jesús FrancoWritten by Jesús Franco
Starring Soledad Miranda, Fred Williams, Paul Muller, Howard Vernon, Ewa Strömberg, Horst Tappert
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
While the story leaves a lot to be desired, if you’re into Jesus “Jess” Franco’s films, this is definitely one of his best.

This is a pretty standard revenge movie with a woman scorned and striking back against her scorners. The fact that Mrs. Johnson decides to sleep with each of them (or at the very least kiss them passionately) before she kills them is the truly odd thing about the film. I don’t know about you and to each his own, but if a group of people lead a loved one to suicide, sleeping with them wouldn’t be my mode of revenge. Then again, she is using sexuality as a lure and a weapon, so it is an effective method.

But like most of Franco’s films, this is a visual feast of color and creative representations of Soledad Miranda’s curvy form. As with VAMPIROS LESBOS (reviewed last week), this one has an absolutely amazing score, again by Sigi Schwab & Manfred Hübler as seductive bongos, moans, and trippy rhythms that make the film absolutely unique. This special edition comes with a CD containing the score for VAMPIROS LESBOS, SHE KILLED IN ECSTASY, and THE DEVIL CAME FROM AKASAVA which made me most excited about this special edition as it provides so many creative and one of a kind sounds to write to. This edition also comes with interviews with Jess Franco himself, one of his frequent stars Paul Muller, Amy Brown who is a Soledad Miranda historian, and Franco historian Steven Thrower.
BEWARE: Boobs! NSFW!


STIGMATA (1999)
Directed by Rupert WainwrightWritten by Tom Lazarus & Rick Ramage
Starring Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Thomas Kopache, Enrico Colantoni, Dick Latessa, Portia de Rossi, Patrick Muldoon, Ann Cusack, Shaun Duke
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
Every now and then, some producers think enough time has passed for a new version of THE EXORCIST to be made and attempt to shock us and creep us out by mixing religious iconography with blasphemous context. While many have tried, few have succeeded in even coming close to the intensity of that one of a kind film (same goes for giant shark films). STIGMATA succeeds in star power only as everything else seems simply by the numbers.

Arquette and Byrne do a decent job here in the leads. Arquette contorts and really puts a ton of physical effort into her role of being trounced around by evil forces. Seeing her fighting back and bloody only reminded me of a far superior role as Alabama Whitman in TRUE ROMANCE, but there’s a spunkiness about her that she seems to bring to every role she is in and she does it well here, making her a sympathetic lead. Byrne’s Father Kiernan is simply stone-faced and sour most of the time. Granted, the script doesn’t really give him much to do other than the same old conflict between the church and the good of the people debate we’ve seen a ton of through the years. Byrne is reserved and trying to soothe Frankie most of the time which isn’t the most electric of scenes.

Arquette speaks in a creepy voice, Wainwright makes quick edits and sends pigeons flying as if it were a John Woo shootout. It always rains in the city this takes place in and everything is constantly wet. There are some decent effects, but everything is edited like a music video, so there’s an unsettling strobe effect to this film that may either have been intentional or just indicative of the time it was made. STIGMATA is not a particularly bad film, it’s just that if you set out to make a film about a woman possessed and you’re going up against one of the most terrifying movies of all time, you should go out of your way to make it different instead of following the same story beat for beat and only making minimal changes.


HEIR Short Film (2015)
Directed by Richard PowellWritten by Richard Powell
Starring Bill Oberst Jr., Robert Nolan, Stacy Campbell, Justin Major, Jane Pokou, Ken Austen, Mateo D'Avino
Find out more about this film here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Chock full of ambiguity and metaphor about sexual abuse, HEIR is unlike any short film I’ve seen in quite a long time. The short only runs about 14 minutes long, but in that time, I was utterly creeped out and fascinated all at once.


So I couldn’t find a trailer for this film, but here is the hardest working man in horror, Bill Oberst Jr., to talk a bit about HEIR back when they were gathering Kickstarter funds to complete the film. And when HEIR is released for all to see, I’ll make sure to post at the bottom of the column in the “And finally…” spot!

CAMP MASSACRE (2013)
Directed by Daniel Emery Taylor, Jim O'RearWritten by Daniel Emery Taylor
Starring Daniel Emery Taylor, Jim O'Rear, G. Larry Butler, James Hampton, Scott Tepperman, and John Dugan
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

Now, those that are still here are the ones who don’t really find the above qualities to be dealbreakers, and because of that I think CAMP MASSACRE is going to be the type of film that has the potential to entertain. Sure, there are some definite rough indie edges that are evident. Writer/director Daniel Emery Taylor and director Jim O'Rear have tried their best here with non-actors and possibly some amateur actors to fill this story about a serial killer at a fat camp with a lot of chubbies for the killer to take out. Still, there are some fun moments of goofiness and some especially gory kills that will keep you entertained if you’re willing to look past the indie glow over the whole thing.

That said, the quality gore, fun tone and premise, and the simple fact that it has fat guys falling down and trying to do action qualifies CAMP MASSACRE as entertaining to me. While some time on the treadmill is needed, especially around the mid-section of the film, there’s more than a thin promise in making CAMP MASSACRE something worth checking out.

ON TENDER HOOKS (2013)
Directed by Kate ShentonWritten by Kate Shenton
Starring Kate Shenton, Tam Smith, Charlyne Chiappone, Ana Laco, Håvve Fjell, Damien Lloyd-Davies
Find out more about this film on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
The last film I watched this week for AICN HORROR was ON TENDER HOOKS. I did so mainly because I wasn’t looking forward to sitting and watching a documentary about piercing skin with thick hooks and suspending folks by their flesh. It just didn’t seem like something that would appeal to me, though I respect the folks who actually do it.

Shenton interviews a specific team of suspenders, most of which are tattooed and pierced and live a life somewhat away from the norm in the first place. Suspension is an extreme act and not something someone off the street decides to do on a whim. The film is as much a cross-section of that type of counterculture as it is a film about being hung by hooks, and it does a decent job of looking past the obvious shock value of the culture and actually getting to know these folks as they have become experts at this act, guiding and teaching others to do it.

Yes, this is weird and definitely not something I’d like to try, but suspension has been highlighted in horror films such as STRANGELAND and the HELLRAISER series, so it definitely is an aspect of the genre I can appreciate and respect. ON TENDER HOOKS put a face to this bizarre act and highlighted a culture that I hadn’t experienced before in cinema. While mainly those participating seemed to enjoy being the center of attention being suspended in such a manner, the film does try to show the more spiritual side of things. I think I would have liked to have seen more research done on the history of this act, but still, the up close and personal ending to ON TENDER HOOKS is something I won’t soon forget. And while I left this film until the end of my batch of films this week to watch, it’s one of the best ones I experienced this week.

EVIL BONG 420 (2015)
Directed by Charles BandWritten by Charles Band (story), Kent Roudebush (screenplay)
Starring Sonny Carl Davis, John Patrick Jordan, Robin Sydney, Amy Paffrath, Mindy Robinson, Chance A. Rearden, Sam Aotaki, Rorie Moon, David DeCoteau, David Del Valle, Caleb Hurst, Orson Chaplin, Circus Szalewski, K. Harrison Sweeney, Tian Wang, Jinhee Joung, Ciarra Carter, Lorenzo Phillips Jr., Tanya Tate, Janice Griffith, Ela Darling, Nina Elle, John Karyus as the Gingerdead Man’s mouth, Bobby Ramos as The Gingerdead Man’s voice, & Michelle Mais as Eebee the Evil Bong
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Have you ever noticed that in terms of humor regarding pot, whatever is said about it is immediately fascinating and hilarious to anyone who partake in the wacky weed? Now, I know part of that is because they are most likely stoned, but even when dead sober, all you have to do is mention marijuana and folks in the know find everything hi-LAR-ious.

Basically, the film is a showcase for boobs and weed with the occasional bad puppet thrown in to murder someone. The premise is that Rabbit (a reoccurring character in the Evil Bong Universe played by Sonny Carl Davis) is opening a topless bowling alley where the special of the day is a bag of weed in a patron’s bowling shoes. High-jinks ensue.

Charles Band was a master at making something pretty monumental for nothing and, back in Full Moon and Empire’s heyday, was pretty ingenious at stretching the dollar to make some quality frightfests, but these EVIL BONG films just don’t cut it. Running only 50 minutes long, EVIL BONG feels like a half-assed attempt where everyone just got high in the middle of the writing, filming, and acting phases and just gave up the ghost. Not all horror has to be terrifying, but this one is just painful to watch sober. Or maybe I’m just not the target audience for this one. I’m sure simply because there is weed smoked and toked in this film, some folks will find is entertaining. But for the rest of you, it’s going to feel like a waste of time.

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (2015)
Directed by George MillerWritten by George Miller, Brendan McCarthy, Nick Lathouris
Starring Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Josh Helman, Nathan Jones, Zoë Kravitz, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Riley Keough, Abbey Lee, Courtney Eaton, John Howard, Richard Carter, Iota, Angus Sampson, Jennifer Hagan, Megan Gale, Melissa Jaffer, Quentin Kenihan, Chris Patton, Coco Jack Gillies, Stephen Dunlevy, Richard Norton
Find out more about the film here!
Reviewed by Ambush Bug


That said, all of the films that preceded feel like a running start for the full-on madness that is FURY ROAD. By now you’ve probably read one jizzing review after another filled with zeal about this film, and I can’t say I disagree with them. The film does set a new standard in filmmaking that I believe will resonate in the way future action films will be made. All I plan to do in this review is articulate why I feel this way as clearly as possible, as most of you have already seen it and formed your own opinions by now.


And that’s what I love most about the performances and the film itself. I love David Mamet. I love Tarantino. I even can appreciate Kevin Smith occasionally. But somewhere along the Hollywood path, it feels like instead of dazzling the audience with sights and sounds, it became more hip and trendy to screech the action to a halt and talk a bit. The most blatant example of this is Tarantino’s DEATHPROOF, which has the leading ladies stop, get out of their car, and squat in the middle of a road to chat for fifteen minutes. It’s gratuitous. It makes it crystal clear that this isn’t a character, but a writer at a computer too in love with his words. It’s not real. FURY ROAD spits on all of that, and as outlandish as it looks and feels at times, never do the characters act (or more accurately, react) as if it wasn’t real and absolutely dangerous. That’s why FURY ROAD is so effective.

Much has been said about the insanity of the world Mad Max travels through and yes there are some absolutely insane moments in the film. The costumes are original and outstanding. The machinery is a gearhead’s wet dream. There are tiny details a plenty here that defy logic; like the people walking through the swamps on stilts, the line of obese wet nurses, the smiley faces painted onto Nux’s goiters, and the fact that there’s a random bucket of breast milk hanging from the truck. But instead of insanity, I feel that this is a lived in world George Miller has formulated. Yes, there’s a lot of crazy shit going on, but much of it is a culmination of what was established before in the three films before it. Everything from the designs of the war boys, which is reminiscent of one of the characters from THUNDERDOME to the inclusion of Hugh Keays-Byrne as Immortan Joe who also played Toecutter in the original Mad Max. I was half expecting Bruce Spence to show up as the lanky pilot from ROAD WARRIOR and THUNDERDOME to show up, but no dice. This is a thoroughly thought out world and with FURY ROAD, we are just seeing the edges of it.


I could probably write a thousand more words about this film. I absolutely loved it and honestly, I think I could miss all of the rest of the films of this summer and be completely happy having seen MAD MAX: FURY ROAD. I’ll be heading to my theater to see MAD MAX: FURY ROAD again soon. And I hope others will too, as this is the type of cinema we simply need more of.


SCREAM MACHINE (2015)
Directed by Scarlet FryWritten by Scarlet Fry, Paul C. Hemmes
Starring Tara Carlton, Brian Carr, Brutus Carr, Ramon Castillo, Tracy Ellegard, Scarlet Fry, David C. Hayes, Paul C. Hemmes, Lloyd Kaufman, Stephen Kessen, Sam Meier, A.J. Nada, Dean Nesland, Randy Robinson, Josiah Spargo, Tom Szczepanski, Gage A. Underhill, Kim Wagner-Hemmes, Sandra E Williams, Dineta Williams-Trigg
Find out more about this film on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

Tying these short films together, all made by the same writer/director Scarlet Fry, is a story of an ebola outbreak that has wiped out most of the world’s population, with the only folks left being a plague mask-wearing Dr. Fry and his assistant Dr. Headley Graves, a talking severed head on a platter. Now, the logic of this is a little off as I don’t really know who these two are addressing if the rest of the world has succumbed to a plague, but the wraparound segments in these anthology films are usually the weakest aspects of them.

“Sledgehammer” is a story of revenge that had potential, but went for the gross-out punchline instead. A pitcher with a wicked arm kills his catcher in a baseball practice auditioning for the major leagues. After he is discovered and pitches a perfect game, he is stalked by a team mascot with a bat with the pitcher’s name on it. Again, the potential is there, but the rushed, gory punchline and obvious culprit makes this one pretty forgettable.
“Cannibal Penpals” is pretty gross from start to finish, as a man hides his crush on an incarcerated Jeffrey Dahmer from his wife and acts out Dahmer’s murders with a man he meets in a mens’ room. This one is filled with all kinds of disgusting fluids, and while the man-crush didn’t disturb me, crude effects and necrophilia did. There’s an undeniable John Waters feel to this one that makes it both endearing and off-putting (something Waters’ films did effortlessly). Still, it’s much more effective than the first film.

“Septic Shock” is a revenge tale that is oddly edited and goes on a bit too long. A woman betrays her husband with his doctor and tosses him into a septic tank in the backyard to die. Too much time is spent in this one focusing on the man reaching for the top of the septic tank and sliding back into the ooze. While there are wafts of the film SEPTIC MAN (reviewed here) in this one, it just doesn’t deliver on the grossness or the tension.

I’m not apologizing for this film, just preparing the readers of these reviews when I say that this is indie horror through and through. Most likely done with money straight from the pockets of the filmmakers, it’s evident SCREAM MACHINE is made by folks in love with the genre. The gore is actually pretty well done, though the acting and creativity of story leaves a lot to be desired. If you support indie filmmaking, and you should since that’s where most of the best horror filmmakers started, then SCREAM MACHINE is one worth getting behind.
And finally…here’s a short film I took a look at a few weeks back in the Short Cuts spot here on AICN HORROR, and it’s finally being released online. It’s a simple tale of a man waiting outside of someone’s home, but it really is effective in ratcheting up the tension. If you like what you see, you can buy the DVD/BluRay here which has some behind the scenes added bonus features. Check it out for yourself; here’s John Pata’s PITY!
Pity from Head Trauma Productions on Vimeo.
See ya next week, folks!


Be sure to tell your comic shop to support his new comic PIROUETTE (trade released in May Diamond order code FEB15 1090 for only $9.99!) from Black Mask Studios!


Interested in illustrated films, fringe cinema, and other oddities?
Check out Halo-8 and challenge everything!
Look for our bi-weekly rambling about random horror films on Poptards and Ain’t It Cool on AICN HORROR’s CANNIBAL HORRORCAST Podcast every other Thursday!