Hey folks, Harry here with two more reviews of Rob Zombie's premiere directorial feature debut... and they are not nearly as ecstatic as that first one... as a matter of fact... these reviews are... REASONABLE... They don't declare it a terrible terrible film... They don't call it a great film... They say that it's just a decent debut... with a ton of stuff we've seen before... a few highlights and it left them a bit confused about some of the narrative. NOW... You should be aware that this is the first screening... Not only that, but according to what I've heard... this movie is scheduled to come out in March of next year... which means that Rob has forever and a day to work on this. NOT ONLY THAT... but he currently has every last single disembodied arm and leg in the makeup community at use on his film... according to one director that was trying to get some for his film. This screening was to see and test where the film is right now. You can count on some tweaking and fixing and reshooting. Horror films are key films to test, so you can see if the audience is jumping... to see if you've got them yet.... and from the sound of it... Rob is both succeeding and failing at some levels.... BUT he has plenty of time to get it perfect... Personally, I'm pulling for him... here ya go with two new reviews....
Hi Harry,
Call me Icicle.
I know you hate spoilers, but since I'm not first, I included a couple of minor things to let you know I'm on the level. Forewarned.
I also attended the test screening of Rob Zombie's new movie, House of 1000 Corpses. I was going to write this early this morning, after I got back from the show, but sleep got me first. Imagine my surprise when I found that Foe Jarrell had beaten me to it. Imagine my further suprise when I saw that he had written you some bad information.
First off, I'll tell you what he got right. They did
check ID at the door, the show did start
at 7 pm (They let us in at 6 for seating, and what I'm
sure are studio execs showed up at
the last minute for some reserved seats). The movie
was He is also correct in that this movie is like the
horror films of yesteryear, in which there
was no reason and no rhyme except to display a freak
show and have the main characters
try and escape the hell they've managed to stumble
into.
But then Foe Jarrell uses words like "re-invents" and
"worst nightmare" and (most
unforgiving of all) "not predictable slasher moments."
If he saw the same movie I did,
then he is mistaken on all three. This movie was not
as scary as some and it does fall into
the trap of going for the easy scare a few times. Rob
Zombie has created a good horror
movie, but at the end, as I looked around, I didn't
hear anybody whimpering in terror.
There was some applause, but mostly just a lot of
shoulder shrugging. This movie does
not re-invent horror, but rather ressurects it. That
may be enough for some movie goers,
especially for those who haven't seen the classics,
but I wanted more.
Foe Jarrell also mentions the Texas Chainsaw Massacre,
and believe it or not, that's a good
analogy to House of 1000 Corpses. Even though he
doesn't make the connection directly,
it's probably the closest thing that movie goers will
compare it to. The picking up of the
hitchiker, the insane family, the big guy who doesn't
say anything and wears a mask
because of disfigurement, all of that seemed a direct
nod to the old classic.
I mentioned earlier about the art style, and nowhere
is that more apparent in the costumes
and design sets. Most Zombie fans will recognize the
breakout characters, the ones you'll
see on T-shirts and posters. My personal favorite was
the Captain. Dressed in a Rob
Zombie evil clown getup, he runs the local gas
station/freak collection/murder show tram
ride (one of the best lines happens after it's
through, when the "horror geek" of the group
let's out a big 'That was fucking awesome!"). He's
also the one that sends the journalistic
foursome to their little side trip through hell by
mentioning the evil (spooky music in 3....
2.... 1....) DR. SATAN. Forgive me, I can't place the
actor, but he is one of the highlights
of the film. He brings energy to his performance and
has all the great one liners. I can't
help but think that maybe Rob Zombie wrote the role
for himself.
The character that will have all the fanboys drooling
is the psycho daughter. Not only
does she have a couple scenes where her clothes are
showing just enough to give
glimpses of paradise, but she also becomes a moving
art piece of Zombie's when she
dresses in a tight nurse's outfit and white face
paint, serenading the group of luckless
travellers by lip synching Betty Boop. Trust me, in
an evil way, it's very hot.
I do have some problems with the film. Most of which
couldn't be discussed without
spoiling some plot points (thin as they are), so I'll
wrap it up saying that Rob Zombie
shows a lot of potential as a horror director. His
first movie has a lot of style, but in the
final analysis can't be put in the same league as some
of the greats. There simply wasn't
enough surprises and twists on what I've seen already
for it to win me over. I so wanted
this movie to kick my ass, but all it did was give it
a little love tap and promise that next
time it'll be harder.
Thanks for your time,
Icicle
Hey, Harry
I was at the very first screening of Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses at
the Laguna UA theater in Sacramento last night. All I can really say is that
it was a promising film that failed to deliver the goods. Don't get me
wrong, I didn't HATE this film, but it was really nothing I haven't seen
before. It started out really strong, but by the end it seemed as if Rob
Zombie just got tired of making a movie and stopped filming. Most of the
effects were in place (there weren't many), leaving only soundwork needing
to be done. The temp track was a lot of themes from older horror films, like
The Omen and Phantasm.
The highlight of the film is Sid Haig's Captain Spaulding, a
hick-in-clown-makeup proprietor of one of those roadside museums of the
strange. His museum was chock full of diseased brains in jars, freaks, and
other assorted oddities. The museum tour was topped off with a "Murder
Ride", similar to those cheap spook rides you find at local carnivals and
fairs.
Karen Black, as Mother Firefly, was enjoyable as always. Freaky and funny,
she captured the feel of deep south hickdom.
The rest of the characters are pretty forgettable, especially the bitchy
Mary, girlfriend to one of the geeky main characters, Bill. The first time
she opened her mouth, I was praying she would be the first to go.
After the trip through the museum, the four main characters decided to go
hunt down a local legend they learned about during the murder ride. They get
directions (and some complimentary fried chicken) to the tree where "Dr.
Satan" was hung, and off they go. This is where the movie starts to go
downhill. The movie stays laugh-out-loud funny, but NEVER provides more than
one scare, and that one is more of the "jump out and say boo!" flavor. It
takes a very long time to get to the action, and the action itself is very
confused. It's obvious that Zombie borrowed VERY heavily from Texas Chainsaw
Massacre, People Under the Stairs, Day of the Dead, and Rocky Horror Picture
Show. This could have been a good thing, but it was as if he rented these
films and sat down with a clipboard, writing down things he wanted in his
film.
The Firefly family is hilarious, but even when they start the homicidal
spree, they're not frightening. WAY too many deaths by gunshot for a horror
film. I would have expected a LOT more gratuitous gore and T&A from Rob
Zombie, but the only real gore takes place in the last part of the movie
with some unexplained undead living under a graveyard. Even then, the gore
wasn't THAT much, and it was very fleeting.
This movie is also VERY short. The beginning took way too long for the movie
to be that short. When it ended, I was wondering if they had just stopped
the film for some reason, and there was a shout "They ain't gonna end it
like that?!" coming from somewhere behind me. Well they did end it like
that. It ended with many plotholes and a lot of head scratching. I walked
out trying to figure out where Dr. Satan was (you get the impression he's
important), what's the hick family's connection, and why the HELL were there
undead wandering around under the graveyard???
I'd been following this film since it was announced, and was really looking
forward to it. Now I'm glad I didn't end up paying to see it. It's worth a
rental at least, but having seen it, I'd be pissed if I had paid seven bucks
for a ticket. This movie COULD be very good, but it'll mean Rob's gonna have
to go back and film a bit more. It really needs more meat added to it. I
expected buckets of blood and got a thimbleful of ketchup.
Mr Discord
And up next is an opinion from Mr Discord...
