
Greetings, all. Ambush Bug here with another AICN HORROR: ZOMBIES & SHARKS column. While the holiday is over, it’s always Halloween around these here parts. Here’s another batch of horror reviews to chew on!
(Click title to go directly to the feature)
The Boo Tube: THE TWILIGHT ZONE: Season Three Episodes 19-24 (1962)
Retro-review: HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS (1988)
THE HILLBILLY HORROR SHOW VOL.1 (2014)
DEAD GIRLS (2014)
THE INSIDE (2012)
GHOST BRIDE (2013)
BILLY CLUB (2013)
THE MIRACLE OF LIFE (2013)
HANGAR 10 (2014)
THE ATTACK OF THE MORNINGSIDE MONSTER (2014)
MALEFICENT (2014)
WHY DON’T YOU PLAY IN HELL? (2013)
And finally…Theater 13’s THE ALCHEMIST OF MONTENEGRO!


THE TWILIGHT ZONE SEASON THREE (1962)
Episodes 19-24Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
With the release of the Complete Season Collector’s Box Set of TWILIGHT ZONE on DVD from Image Entertainment a few months ago, I’ve been celebrating by checking out each episode and tossing out my two cents on a semi-weekly basis. Now that I’m also looking back at the MONSTERS TV series, which was just released in a swanky box set, I’ll be switching back and forth between the two series on a bi-weekly basis to cover both over the next few months. Image Entertainment is also releasing THE TWILIGHT ZONE: 5th DIMENSION Limited Edition Box Set, which includes the complete TZ episodes from the first series (1959-1964) and the 80’s series (1985-1989)! You can pick up the this collection by clicking this link here!
Now, let’s continue with THE TWILIGHT ZONE Season Three…

Directed by Harold Schuster
Written by Earl Hamner, Jr.
Starring Arthur Hunnicutt, Jeanette Nolan
This episode’s a touching one for the animal lovers out there. An old timer (Arthur Hunnicutt) goes a-coon huntin’ with his favorite hound and ends up gettin’ himself kilt right an’ proper. Of course, he doesn’t know that until he puts two and two together when no one acknowledges him upon his return home. This is a warm-hearted episode about a man and his dog with a lot of down-home charm injected into its short runtime. The script by Earl Hamner Jr. is warmly sentimental (teetering on the cliff of being too sweet, but never falling over it) and Hunnicutt delivers the words with genuine country time flair. An all around swell episode, if’n ya ask me.

Directed by Christian Nyby
Written by Rod Serling
Starring Larry Blyden, Arch Johnson, Robert Cornthwaite
This goofy episode is rather lame in the comedic department and not scary either, making it a rather forgettable 22 minutes. Sure the ending has that ironic TZ twist, but even that doesn’t save this one from being about 9 gallons short of a ten gallon hat of entertainment. Larry Blyden plays the titular Rance McGrew, a TV cowboy who just doesn’t do the real cowboys of the Old West justice. So when he is transported back to that time, he doesn’t really fare very well. This one serves as a comment on the multitude of cowboy shows that were on television at the time this aired, and probably had a bit more bite back then. I can respect the episode as a modern day TROPIC THUNDER of sorts. Ironically, this episode finishes up with a commercial for GUNSMOKE attached after the end credits.

Directed by Lamont Johnson
Written by George Clayton Johnson
Starring Ernest Truex, Russell Collins, John Marley
While I prefer the modern remake of this one from TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE, “Kick the Can” has always been near and dear to me as it harnesses some of the childhood wonder that often abounds in these TZ episodes while pretty much summing up one of the most prevalent themes of the entire series: going back and reliving your life at your prime. Serling seemed to have an affinity for these types of tales and while he didn’t write this one, it was selected for this series and more than any other it catches that melancholy one feels when looking at the age they are now and dreaming of an age from the past. In this one, all it takes is a leap of faith to reclaim that lost youth…that and a simple childhood game of kick the can. Though it doesn’t strum all of the heartstrings as the remake does, it plucks out a tune that will definitely make you smile with tears in your eyes.

Directed by David Greene
Written by Earl Hamner, Jr.
Starring Barry Morse, Joan Hackett, Don Durant, Cyril Delevanti, Muriel Landers
Barry Morse gives an amazing performance as a well-to-do man whose abominable treatment of others hides a very small and insecure man. All it takes is for him to purchase an old player piano which plays magic tunes that unearths one’s true thoughts. Turning the piano onto his much younger wife and the guests at a dinner party fills Morse with devilish glee, but things go differently when the power is pointed towards him. Morse is amazing in this role as a truly evil man. His receding hairline and bulbous forehead makes him look all the more scary as he laughs with glee at his friends being manipulated by this piano. Morse plays one of the best TZ villains ever without having to don any crazy alien makeup. His performance alone makes him a monster in man’s form. This is a fantastic film showcasing Morse’s talent with a demonic twist at the end.

Directed by Montgomery Pittman
Written by Montgomery Pittman
Starring James Best, Sherry Jackson, Lance Fuller, Ezelle Poule, Edgar Buchanan, Dub Taylor, Vicki Barnes, Jim Houghton, Pat Hector
Roscoe P. Coltrane and Killer Shrew hunter James Best (check out my interview with Mr. Best here) plays Jeff Myrtlebank, a simple country man who dies from pneumonia only to wake up at his own funeral, which of course spooks the whole town. Attempting to resume his normal life after he’s been reported dead proves to be more difficult for Jeff than he can imagine, as the town grows more and more suspicious of him the longer he lives. Best really shines in this role, even though it ends on a rather odd note which leaves things rather open for interpretation: are the townsfolks’ fears true, or is Jeff Myrtlebank just a shrewd man taking advantage of an odd situation? No answers here, but it’s still a fun tale.

Directed by Richard L. Bare
Written by Rod Serling, based on a story by Damon Knight
Starring Lloyd Bochner, Susan Cummings, Richard Kiel, Joseph Ruskin
One of the most famous episodes of THE TWILIGHT ZONE is also one of this week’s best episodes. The late great Richard Keil stars as a large foreheaded soul-patch wearing giant who represents an alien race called a Kanamit who seemingly comes to Earth to help the race, addressing the United Nations and then the world offering to end famine, war, and death. Instead of focusing on the ways in which the arrival of the aliens affects the human race, it instead chooses to follow a code-breaking team trying to crack the alien language. I won’t reveal the twist, but it’s one of the most famous endings in the series for a reason as it is both creative and utterly horrifying. As with many TZ episodes, this one has a rather cynical viewpoint of the way the world is run and the state of mankind, but it holds a twisted mirror to human suspicions, hopes, and gullibility.
See you next week with more MONSTERS Season Three episodes!
Season 1: Episodes 1.1-1.6, 1.7-1.12, 1.13-1.18, 1.19-1.24, 1.25-1.30, 1.31-1.36
Season 2: Episodes 2.1-2.6, 2.7-2.12, 2.13-2.18, 2.19-2.24, 2.25-2.29
Season 3: Episodes 3.1-3.6, 3.7-3.12, 3.13-3.18
Season 4: Episodes 4.1-4.5, 4.5-4.8, 4.9-4.13, 4.14-4.18
Season 5: Episodes 5.1-5.7, 5.8-5.14, 5.15-5.21, 5.22-5.28, 5.29-5.36
Season 1 (1985): Episodes 1.1-1.3


HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS (1988)
Directed by Dwight H. LittleWritten by Dhani Lipsius, Benjamin Ruffner, Alan B. McElroy, & Larry Rattner
Starring Donald Pleasence, Ellie Cornell, Danielle Harris, Michael Pataki, Beau Starr, Kathleen Kinmont, Sasha Jenson, Gene Ross, Carmen Filpi, Raymond O'Connor, & George P. Wilbur as Michael Myers
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
Cashing in rather late in the game on the slasher craze of the 80s, HALLOWEEN 4 brought back the Shape, though it was this installment where the name “the Shape” was kind of dropped in preference to Michael Myers, which kind of rolls off the tongue. But while big bucks were being shoveled at films about Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, who can blame the studios for bringing back the one who started the craze in the first place?

While this installment is pretty by the numbers, director Dwight Little and the slew of writers involved in writing this sequel keep things interesting by filling it with interesting characters, decent actors, and some fun sequences that amp up the HALLOWEEN hijinks to a town-wide level. Haddonfield is not the oblivious town of the first two films, scoffing at Loomis when he goes on one of his Michael tirades. It’s a town with a curse and deep wounds filled with people who had a cousin or a daughter killed by Myers, so the first notion that he may be on his way back to the town is met with a lynch mob mentality with truckers swilling drinks and riding in the back of pickup trucks with shotguns blasting anyone wearing a Shatner mask. This film takes full advantage of the town in ways the first two never did, evolving the threat level to monumental proportions.

Danielle Harris has established herself as a scream queen these days, but she really does show a lot of talent in this film, having to run the gauntlet over rooftops, through dark streets, and in an abandoned school in order for her to elude her monstrous uncle. George P. Wilbur has the privilege of donning the famous mask, and for the most part he does a great job with it, although I feel he plays the Shape a little too stiff and too many times I found it less than menacing to see Wilbur’s hunched shoulders. So while there are scenes where Wilbur does look rather ominous (the scenes in the gas station come to mind as the most effective in the film), there are other scenes where it feels like the stuntman is rather nervous and sheepish to don the mask. The mask itself looks rather cheap. In the context of the film, it is a store-bought mask (or store-stolen mask—Michael left his wallet in his other set of overalls and lifts the mask from a drugstore), but still it is less effective than the masks from the first two installments and looks almost too clean and processed.

The aforementioned ending is one of the most powerful of the series. The way things come full circle has a poetic slant to it, and it’s great seeing Loomis wig out and try to blast away at the new threat that appears in the final moments. I won’t ruin it for the newbs, but I always get chills when this film nears its conclusion. This Blu is light on extras, but the quality of the film can’t be beat, and the film definitely is stronger than most of the horror franchises that were coming out at the time. HALLOWEEN didn’t really start its decline in quality until the next installment, which we will delve into in a future column.
HALLOWEEN (1979)
HALLOWEEN II (1981)
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982)

HILLBILLY HORROR SHOW VOL.1 (2014)
Directed by Billy Hayes (Franky & the Ant), Theo Stefanski (Doppelganger), Cuyle Carvin (Amused), Timothy Zwica (The Nest)Written by Billy Hayes (Franky & the Ant), Theo Stefanski (Doppelganger), Cuyle Carvin (Amused), Timothy Zwica (The Nest)
Starring Bo Keister, Scott Geiter, Rachel Faulkner (Hillbilly Horror Show)
Anthony Pavelich, Emmanuel Todorov, Christine Woods (Franky & the Ant)
Elise Rovinsky, Ryan G. Metzger, Angela Relucio (Amused)
Jamie Newell, Scott Lynch-Giddings, Adam Shalzi, Adrian DiGiovanni, Molly Bina, Kevin Barry, Jennifer Scott (The Nest)
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
While the intro, in between bits, and finale are simply a dude doing hillbilly schtick, a dude doing a mumbling KING OF THE HILL schtick, and a hot chick walking around half-dressed, the collection of horror shorts in this anthology are pretty amazing. And while aside from Muldoon’s amazing regular Saturday Afternoon Shorts column here on AICN there really isn’t a place to find short films since they seem to be made by all sorts of different people, lately, I’ve been seeing more of these “anthologies” which serve as great showcases for some awesome shorts. Here’s what this one has to offer.




Clocking in at a brisk 60 minutes, THE HILLBILLY HORROR SHOW VOL.1 is an impressive anthology and while the in between bits with hillbilly humor are full of groaners, there’s not a bad short in the bunch. Here’s hoping these guys keep their eyes peeled for more quality horrors in short form and release a second volume soon.

DEAD GIRLS (2014)
Directed by Neal Fischer (segments "Theta Phis Never Die", "Wraparound"), Del Harvey (segments "Over My Dead Body", "Vengeance Is Mine")Written by Neal Fischer & David Nevarez (segment "Theta Phis Never Die"), Del Harvey (segment "Over My Dead Body" & “Wraparaound”), Drake Linder & Del Lowry (segment "Vengeance Is Mine")
Starring Jessica Galang, Joseph Luis Caballero, Rebecca Mullins (segment “Wraparound”), Aubrey Joyce Tunnell, Nick Cardiff, Matty Robinson, Craig Sunderlin (segment "Over My Dead Body"), Mia Doran, Madalyn Mattsey, Ali Hadley, Sam Steveson, Andrew Jacob DeHart, Jax Turyna, Jennifer Lenius (segment "Theta Phis Never Die"), Brian Rooney, Kelsey Sante, Joette Waters, Marc Peurye, Ivan Vega (segment "Vengeance Is Mine")
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

As with all of the best anthologies, this one escalates from beginning to end in terms of quality and intensity. The first installment is a rather typical revenge from the grave-style film as a pushy boyfriend attempts to cover up the accidental death of his girlfriend only to find out that her clingy ways go beyond the grave. This is a capable and good looking segment, just somewhat by the numbers.

The final installment in DEAD GIRLS, called "Vengeance Is Mine", deals with a much heavier theme of rape and empowerment. While there are some dodgy moments in terms of acting, they saved the best for last here as this one goes into pitch black territory reminiscent of Abel Ferrara’s MS. 45 as the lead, a novice nun who is molested by a priest, wears a skimpy nun’s frock as she turns tricks and murders people on the street. As I said, this one is dark and gritty, but well done in an old school grindhouse sort of way.


THE INSIDE (2012)
Directed by Eoin MackenWritten by Eoin Macken
Starring Karl Argue, Kellie Blaise, Siobhan Cullen, Vanessa Emme, Brian Fortune, Liam Alex Heffron, Natalia Kostrzewa, Patrick Moynan, Emmett J Scanlan, Tereza Srbová, Sean Stewart
Find out more about this film here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Those of you who get a bit queasy at the whole shaky cam motif will want to steer clear of THE INSIDE, the newest in a never-ending onslaught of found footage films. This one has glimmers of excellence throughout, but there are some major faults that can’t help but knock the whole thing off the rails.

The ludicrosity (made up that word specifically for this movie) begins as there is no reason for these girls to go to this abandoned building. When girls get together to party, they don’t hit the dark spooky building in the dark alley. They hit the clubs or the martini bars or the wine bars or the strip clubs. So the premise of this film is ridiculous as there is no reason the people in the situation should be in the situation they find themselves in. I’m not one to say “the girls were looking to be mugged”, but what do you expect to find other than demons, gangs, and monsters when you enter a dark and dingy building drunk in the middle of the night?

That said, THE INSIDE juggles filming styles pretty effectively, switching from a traditionally shot narrative film to a found footager in a believable manner. There are also some really scary scenes, as the monster stalks those lost in the building as it appears around corners covered in slime and blood and moving at an unnerving, staccato pace. The scares are there in THE INSIDE; the problem is that you have to put up with bonehead moves and the shakiest camera work I’ve ever had to endure in a found footager to get to them.

GHOST BRIDE (2013)
Directed by David BlythWritten by David Blyth
Starring Yoson An, Rebekah Palmer, Fiaona Feng, Geeling Ching, Cathryn Wu, David Lin, Charles Chan, Ian Mune
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Man, I’ve been to some boring weddings, but this one takes the cake. I’m all for low fi films, but GHOST BRIDE had me fighting for consciousness from beginning to end.
The premise is solid. There is something about the real life horror of going against tradition that can be an effective hook and this one has that. A Chinese man named Jason in love with an Australian woman struggles with his mother, who wants him to marry a Chinese woman and will go to great lengths to get what she wants. Attempting to arrange his marriage to a Chinese bride, the mother enlists the help of a local medicine woman who uses ancient Chinese magic to bind a lost spirit to Jason. Now cursed with a Chinese bride, Jason fights temptation to be with his true love.

I hate to be so negative on GHOST BRIDE. On the upside, the film is often beautifully shot, capturing some traditional and unique Chinese backgrounds and décor very well. But this romance-centric horror film neither chilled my spine nor captured my heart, and while some of it can be blamed on the low budget, I think most of the blame goes to an uninspired script and an equally uninspired delivery.

BILLY CLUB (2013)
Directed by Drew Rosas, Nick SommerWritten by Drew Rosas, Nick Sommer
Starring Marshall Caswell, Erin Hammond, Nick Sommer, Max Williamson, Mathew Dunlop, Al Bardin, Suziey Block
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
There is horror that can be taken seriously and then there is horror that is simply fun. BILLY CLUB falls into the latter category as it is undeniably a big, dumb film. But I’d have to add fun to the end of that qualification because I had a hell of a good time with this movie.

This film feels like it was made in the 80s during the slasher craze, put into a time capsule, and released as is. What I love about it is that it isn’t trying to be meta. It’s not trying to be smart. It’s just trying to be fun, and it achieves that at every level for me. From goofy ways to kill people with baseball equipment to ridiculous subplots about homosexuality to an insane sequence proving you should never ever do drugs and ride a four wheeler, the fun in BILLY CLUB is infectious.

Yes there’s an overuse of baseball clichés, but what do you expect from a slasher film with a baseball-themed killer? BILLY CLUB is a remnant from a time when every other film wasn’t a shaky found footage cam, but from a time when everyone was trying to make the next Jason or Freddy sensation. Had BILLY CLUB been around in those days, he would have given them a run for their money. Brainless but brilliant, BILLY CLUB swings for the cheap seats and connects.

THE MIRACLE OF LIFE (2013)
Directed by Joël Rabijns, Yves SondermeierWritten by Shana Lazou, Yves Sondermeier, & Joël Rabijns
Starring Pascal Maetens, Karel Vingerhoets, Céline Verbeeck, Jérémie Petrus, Andreas Perschewski, Sofie Hoflack, Koen Blauwblomme, Korneel Cornelis, Gert Jochems
Find out more about this film on its website here on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
And the AICN HORROR batshit crazy award of the week goes to THE MIRACLE OF LIFE, a film that will most likely disgust and turn off people immediately after I describe it in the next paragraph.

This film goes to some tasteless and disturbing places. Sometimes it feels like something right out of a Troma film. But at other times it’s grossly serious. One second Marianne is bragging about the giant muscular arm she works out vigorously (leaving the other arm to be normal sized), then the next someone is shooting up the maternity ward in a hospital. There’s a teacher who blames his life’s failures on a stuffed bird and then some cannibalism right out of the blue. This is one warped and demented slice of cinema that is not for the easily offended or the queasy.

If you’re still reading this review and the above hasn’t turned you off to the point of finding a puke bucket, MIRACLE OF LIFE might just be the film for you. It’s definitely high on the meter in terms of odd, gore, gruesomeness, and morbidity. Reminiscent of BASKET CASE and other perverse body horror by Frank Hennenlotter by way of Tommy Wiseau’s THE ROOM, MIRACLE OF LIFE definitely takes the cake in terms of cinema of the weird and though not many will be able to stomach it, it may just be a cult classic in the making.

HANGAR 10 (2014)
Directed by Daniel SimpsonWritten by Adam Preston, Daniel Simpson
Starring Robert Curtis, Abbie Salt, Danny Shayler
Find out more about this film here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
I’m going to mention this is a found footager right off the bat because for some folks, that’s the deal breaker as there are way too many of these types of films being made today. But out of all of those found footage films made, there has to be one or two that are actually worth watching, right? Well, if you’re not one to run screaming from found footagers, HANGAR 10 is one you might want to give a look-see as it does a lot right.

What works here is that the effects are pretty amazing throughout. The activity these three capture on their camera is pretty jaw-dropping, and while it gets a tad overly CG in the end, up to the big finale, the unidentified flying thingamajiggers are pretty outstandingly realized as they zip above the hikers and hover over them, casting brightly colored beams at them and acting…well…otherworldly. These moments as the three hikers encounter these shapes in the sky feel downright authentic, as if it were something captured by accident on film. The performances as well are great, as this blows all three of the hikers’ minds and each react in their own different ways. Some are in denial. Others are in full-on Fox Mulder mode. It’s fun watching the extreme reactions these three have to proof of these UFOs’ existence.

So despite the idiotic contrivance that these three people are camping together, the technical aspects, the CG, and the acting are actually pretty darn good. Everything culminates in a huge climax that I won’t reveal here, but the size and scope of it is pretty impressive. HANGAR 10 does a lot right, and if you’re willing to look past the tacked-on drama for drama’s sake, you might find it as entertaining as I did.

ATTACK OF THE MORNINGSIDE MONSTER (2014)
aka THE MORNINGSIDE MONSTERDirected by Chris Ethridge
Written by Jayson Palmer
Starring Robert Pralgo, Nicholas Brendon, Amber Chaney, Tiffany Shepis, Mike Stanley, Catherine Taber, Matt Kabus, William J. Harrison, April Bogenschutz, Tomi Lavinder, Ray Lloyd, Antonio Madison, Adam Drescher, Jens Rasmussen
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
The director/writer team of the engaging Stephen King adaptation SURVIVOR TYPE short film (reviewed here) returns for a full-length mystery serial killer yarn that makes up for its low budget with some suspenseful moments, an engaging cast of genre actors, and a few effective surprises in ATTACK OF THE MORNINGSIDE MONSTER.

Robert Pralgo plays Sheriff Tom Haulk, an easygoing sheriff who bets on the football game with his deputy (Tiffany Shepis), loves his wife, and goes fishing and drinking with his childhood friend Mark (Nicholas Brendan). Mark’s wife is dying of cancer, and there’s a heap of this movie that allows us into Mark’s sad life, showing the tragic day to day things Mark must do to help his ailing wife who he loves so much. These scenes are interspersed between low level JUSTIFIED/LOW WINTER SUN style street drug thuggery as a trio of dealers attempt to outwit one another and the law. Mark gets busted trying to buy his wife marijuana to ease her suffering. This is just the beginning of what turns out to be a crisis of conscience for Sheriff Haulk as he must decide between his friendship, which he holds dear, and the law, which he chooses to uphold. Oh, and there’s a freak wearing a ceremonial mask knocking off one creep drug dealer after another.

There are some juicy scenes of gore and quite a bit of great and layered mysterious layers in ATTACK OF THE MORNINGSIDE MONSTER. It’s a film that will take you by surprise with its talented cast and clever story.

MALEFICENT (2014)
Directed by Robert StrombergWritten by Linda Woolverton, Charles Perrault (based on the story "La Belle au bois dormant" by)
Starring Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Sharlto Copley, Lesley Manville, Imelda Staunton, Juno Temple, Sam Riley, Brenton Thwaites, Kenneth Cranham, Hannah New, Isobelle Molloy, Michael Higgins, Ella Purnell
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here!
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
What the hell’s a Disney movie doing in a horror movie column, Buuuuuuuuuug?!?!?!?
I can hear it now. I’m sure there are those racing for the TBs just to rip me a new one for covering this film on AICN HORROR. But here’s the thing. Disney movies scared the shit out of me as a kid. Sure, watching these films now and after I’ve been jaded by all of these horror films I’ve sat through it’s hard to muster up a quiver, but as a kid, the witch in SNOW WHITE and especially Maleficent from SLEEPING BEAUTY were just as horrific as any vampire or reanimated corpse. So while reviewing MALEFICENT may be seen as a bit of a stretch for this column, since we often look back on horrors from yesteryear, this one fits in quite snugly here.

Personally, I’m not a fan of demystifying villains by making them sympathetic. Sometimes evil is just evil and there are times when I don’t really want to know about Michael Myers’ trailer trash parents or Darth Vader’s annoying childhood nickname. For me, all this does is deter the power those monsters struck me with the first time I saw them. And while the transformative road this fresh-faced sprite takes to become the angular and plasticized Angelina Jolie may be a bit more interesting, it still kind of makes her rancor and ire a bit petty. But this film was made as a vehicle for Jolie, and the makeup does do a fantastic job of making her look the part. Jolie chews up the scenery with her larger-than-life mouth and lips puckered and smiling. You can tell she had fun with the role.

Wonky philosophy aside, this is a pretty gorgeous movie. With some dazzling CG, an interesting story that knocks the legs out from any power the villain once had, and a stunning and spot-on performance by Jolie, MALEFICENT is fluffy like popcorn. Just don’t think too hard about what it’s trying to tell you and I think you’ll be alright.

WHY DON’T YOU PLAY IN HELL? (2013)
Directed by Sion SonoWritten by Sion Sono
Starring Jun Kunimura, Fumi Nikaidô, Shin'ichi Tsutsumi, Hiroki Hasegawa, Gen Hoshino, Tomochika, Itsuji Itao, Hiroyuki Onoue, Tak Sakaguchi, Tetsu Watanabe, Tasuku Nagaoka, Megumi Kagurazaka, Tarô Suwa
Find out more about this film here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Bursting at the seams with creativity and manic madness, Sion Sono’s latest descent, WHY DON’T YOU PLAY IN HELL? is a frantic love song to cinema, following dreams, and fulfilling destinies. It’s a film that is downright infectious from the opening minutes of a cute little Japanese girl singing a song about toothpaste to the blood drenched finale that would leave Tarantino and John Woo bowing down like Wayne and Garth repeating “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!”

Without getting too much into the plot, I’ll give you the basic characters involved. Muto (Jun Kunimura) a Yakuza mob boss is in love with movies and is even more in love with his daughter Michiko (played by the adorable Nanoka Hara as a child and as an adult by the dazzling Fumi Nikaidô), who is the world’s darling after singing and dancing in a national toothpaste ad. In a botched hit on Muto’s family, Muto’s wife proves to be more than a group of hitmen can handle, murdering most of them and running those that fled through the streets. On the other side of town in one of the few classically run theaters, Hirata (Hiroki Hasegawa) vows to be a big time film director and with his team of camera men and his action star who he claims will be the next Bruce Lee, Hirata makes a wish to the cinema gods that they all will become famous one day. Cut to ten years later and things aren’t great for any of the group. Hirata and his crew are making low budget films and still dreaming big. Michiko is a rebellious teen trying to start a career as an actress and Muto is still the target of rival Yakuza gangs. After a series of bizarre and fantastical events, Muto hires Hirata to make a film in 24 hours starring his daughter that takes place during a real life battle to end all battles between the warring yakuza clans.

Sono does seem to love his cinema. This is his thirty-first film and it feels like the work of an elder filmmaker looking back at his rambunctious and starry-eyed youth with a bit of a sly smile. The whole tone of the film is dark, but there’s a sense of optimism here that can’t be denied as the story follows this filmmaker who dreams to make a movie and finally getting that wish fulfilled.

Those of you who haven’t experienced a Sion Sono film are in for a treat if WHY DON’T YOU PLAY IN HELL? is your first experience with the filmmaker. It’s by far his greatest achievement which shows that the filmmaker can make a Tarantino-esque/Guy Ritchie-ish film that oozes excitement and cool, yet still injects it with more poetry and power than either of those filmmakers can muster. Drenched in deep dark blood during the climax, this is a fantastic journey that deserves to be seen by anyone who calls themselves an appreciator of cinema. Highly recommended.
And finally…Here’s an 8 minute suspense filled Gothic parable from Theater 13 described as; An alchemist races against the plague to find the key to immortality, but will it be enough to save him? Check out THE ALCHEMIST OF MONTENEGRO and if you like what you see, you can find out more about this film here!
The Alchemist of Montenegro - A Gothic Parable from Chris Heck on Vimeo.
See ya next week, folks!


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