
Greetings, all. Ambush Bug here with another AICN HORROR: ZOMBIES & SHARKS column. Sorry for the delay in this column. My trip to New York Comic Con got in the way of me finishing this one up. But here it is in all it’s glory!
On with the horror reviews!
(Click title to go directly to the feature)
Retro-review: HALLOWEEN – The Complete Collection BluRay Box Set: HALLOWEEN II (1981)
Send in the Clowns: MASTERS OF HORROR Season 2 Episode 10; WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM (2007)
A HAUNTING AT PRESTON CASTLE (2012)
CREEPING CRAWLING (2012)
BLOOD VALLEY: SEED’S REVENGE (2014)
SLEDGE (2014)
THE DEVIL INCARNATE (2014)
THE PACT 2 (2014)
FOUND (2013)
THE CANAL (2014)
And finally…”Weird Al” Yankovic’s “Nature Trail To Hell…IN 3D!”


HALLOWEEN II (1981)
Directed by Rick RosenthalWritten by John Carpenter, Debra Hill
Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence, Charles Cyphers, Jeffrey Kramer, Lance Guest, Pamela Susan Shoop, Leo Rossi, Hunter von Leer, Gloria Gifford, Tawny Moyer, Ana Alicia, Ford Rainey, Cliff Emmich, Nancy Stephens, and Dick Warlock as Michael Myers!
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
One of the things that won me over as a forever fan of HALLOWEEN was the fact that it picked up seconds after the first film. It’s the same reason why I love the first few FRIDAY THE 13TH‘s.Something about that made it feel epic and while I know they were kind of making shit up as they went along, they certainly did a good job of making it all feel like it was some part of an elaborate epic tale. And while HALLOWEEN II is not as good as the original, it does an awful lot right to make the extension of the night he came home into something fun.

Yes, at its core, HALLOWEEN II basically is one set up after another where Michael can off one hospital employee after another until he finds Laurie, but director Rick Rosenthal, who came back later in the series to direct HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION (which we will get to eventually and unfortunately), makes the most of the atmosphere. The serene and sanitized environment may be inviting during the daytime, but when the lights are out, those hallways are damn spooky. Rosenthal also makes sure to take advantage of the voyeuristic qualities that made the original so spooky in those scenes where Tommy Doyle sees Michael from his window by giving up a security cam view of Michael slowly walking down the dark corridors. I know it is cliché to say, but the hospital in this film is a character and an important factor in why this one works so well.

Pleasance is getting comfy in his role here as the determined Dr. Loomis. I kind of prefer his frantic and remorseful performance here as he is dealing with the ramifications of Michael’s escape. Still he plays Loomis as superior at all, having him say I told you so to pretty much everyone in the town. Though in physicality, Loomis is a small and aged foe, his mind is sharp and his determination matches that of Michael’s making him the perfect arch-enemy to this evil on two legs.Jamie Lee Curtis is pretty great here in the moments where she is not asleep on a hospital gurney. While she spends the first half of the film catatonic, she makes up for it in the last half running and crawling away from Michael.

This new BluRay includes a number of bonuses. Deleted scenes and a very less effective alternate ending where we find out about what happened to Bobby (aka THE LAST STARFIGHTER’s Lance Guest) are on there. The real treat is that the film TERROR IN THE AISLES, which I will be reviewing in an upcoming column, is included in the special features which is the first time it is available since VHS. HALLOWEEN II is not the perfect HALLOWEEN film, but from here on out it’s a steady decline in quality in terms of films featuring Michael Myers. Next week we will look at the Myers-free HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH!
HALLOWEEN (1979)


MASTERS OF HORROR Season 2, Episode 10: WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM (2007)
Directed by Tom HollandWritten by David Schow
Starring Lee Tergesen, Colin Cunningham, William Forsythe, Brent Sheppard, Maxwell Neck, Tim Henry, Laura Drummond, Ingrid Tesch, Quinn Lord, Lyle St. Goddard, Brendan Saul, Kevan Kase, Spencer Achtymichuk, Cainan Wiebe, Brett Kelly, Diego Martinez-Tau, Samuel Patrick Chu, Alexia Fast, Zak Ludwig, Dryden Dion, Alexis Llewellyn, Gordon Grice
Find it on Netflix here!
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
I’ve been a big fan of Showtime’s MASTERS OF HORROR series. It seemed to have a bit more bite than HBO’s TALES FROM THE CRYPT which seemed to loose some teeth towards the end. And while not all of the MASTER OF HORROR stories were great, they did seem to have a bit of a grungier feel that sometimes I like in my horror stories. As I celebrate the release of my new book PIROUETTE this week, I felt now was a good a time as any to review one of the episodes which is very much filled with clownie-horror.

The top billed cast is pretty great with Lee Tergesen playing a man guilt ridden by how his childhood bullying resulted in the death of the clown. Tergesen is always fun to see in complex roles such as this, as shown in his role in OZ as Beecher, the fresh fish turned hardened badass during that show’s run. Here he conveys the necessary guilt one might have in such a situation paying for sins of the past at his own guilt’s accord. But the real thrill is seeing the multi-faceted William Forsythe have fun as Buster the clown. He basically has two roles here; one as the innocent, yet mildly retarded clown which is reminiscent of Larry Drake’s role in DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW. On the flip side of the coin is the ghost where Forsythe really allows the genuinely scary clown makeup guide him into a new character altogether. The makeup is, again top notch and really will cause a chill due to the maniacal and angular features. Still, you can tell it’s Forsythe behind it all, which makes it all the more menacing.

CHILD’S PLAY and FRIGHT NIGHT director shows he’s still got some fright in him as there are numerous scenes of kids being lured out by the chill inducing clown. The kids’ blank stares and the slo mo shots of the ice cream truck rolling through the misty night are some memorably horrific images. Too bad about the ending. Otherwise, this is a pretty damn effective clownie horror.

THE FUNHOUSE
SPLASH AREA: NIGHT OF THE FREAKS/CLOWN HUNT
STITCHES
VULGAR
DOLL-BOY/ALL HALLOW’S EVE
THE DEVIL’S CARNIVAL
MR. SARDONICUS
CLOWNHOUSE
FEAR OF CLOWNS I & II
CIRCUS OF THE DEAD
BITTER HARVEST
100 TEARS/KLOWN KAMP MASSACRE
ALL DARK PLACES
THE CLOWN AT MIDNIGHT
STRANGE FACTORIES
SLOPPY THE PSYCHOTIC
SIDESHOW
DEAD CLOWNS
DARK RIDE
SANTA SANGRE


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A HAUNTING AT PRESTON CASTLE (2012)
aka PRESTON CASTLEDirected by Martin Rosenberg
Written by Peter Bailey, Martin Rosenberg
Starring Mackenzie Firgens, Heather Tocquigny, Jake White
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

It’s not that the acting is bad. It’s just that everything else, from the setup to the atmosphere to the script to the shoddy CG effects are just pretty run of the mill. The three argue, make up, tell each other how much they care about one another, and then how much they hate each other and all of it just feels like filler until night falls and they become trapped in the labyrinthine halls of the castle and chased by shadows.

All in all, A HAUNTING AT PRESTON CASTLE just doesn’t have what it takes. I don’t know if the filmmakers have seen all the found footage films and want to ape them or if they have never seen one and think their on to something original. Either way, A HAUNTING AT PRESTON CASTLE doesn’t have a lot new to offer.

CREEPING CRAWLING (2012)
Directed by Jon Russell Cring, Tracy Nichole CringWritten by Jon Russell Cring, Tracy Nichole Cring, Joshua Owens
Starring Raine Brown, Sarah von Ouhl, Kevin Craig West, Anna Shields, Laura LaFrate, Chuck Girard, Kate Kenney, Marie Bianchi, Gary Flugge, Mikaela Holmes, Kai Issey, Yury Tsykun
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Man, if this film would spend just a little time in the editing room, CREEPING CRAWLING would be a pretty amazing flick. It’s filled with ideas that will make you wince and squirm. The film is an anthology featuring three effectively ooky stories about things that creep and crawl with spindly legs and pointy pinchers and UGH! So gross!

Story one features an aging model who has been scarred by her father to grow up with an eating disorder. The psychosis is extremely well written out and flashbacks show how intensely fucked up with woman had it. After a particularly cruel photo shoot, she gorges herself and then purges, vowing to lose those five to ten pounds she needs to be a supermodel. Ordering a tapeworm online from Africa, she sees results, but as the worm grows, so does her problems. The ending of this one will have you wish you weren’t eating noodles while watching, that’s fo’ sho’. But not only is this a grossout story, there’s a psychological element that is both smart and horrifying all at once.

The final short is a showstopper full of deviant sex involving insects that will definitely turn off a lot of viewers. Personally, I couldn’t believe this story went the dark and perverse places it went and kind of admire it for doing so. Definitely a skin-crawler of a story, about a man with a bug fetish searching for the perfect girl to share his desires with. If it wasn’t so skin-crawlingly gross, it would be endearing.
As I said above, this film is in need of a solid edit. It clocks in at just shy of two hours, but with a snip and tuck here and there, the film would be an astounding hour fifteen minute flick. Full of scenes that will make you itch for days, CREEPING CRAWLING is solidly written and full of creepy ideas. Scratch away a few minutes to the runtime and it would be downright perfect.

BLOOD VALLEY: SEED’S REVENGE (2014)
aka SEED 2: THE NEW BREEDDirected by Marcel Walz
Written by Marcel Walz
Starring Natalie Scheetz, Nick Principe, Caroline Williams, Christa Campbell, Annika Strauss, Sarah Hayden, Manoush, Jared Demetri Luciano, Jeff Dylan Graham
Find out more about this film on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

I missed SEED 1, so maybe I missed something in the original film, but as far as I can gather a guy named Seed who wears a mask which covers his deformed face has started up a sweet little family a valley or two over from the place where THE HILLS HAVE EYES clan lives. In this sequel, it just so happens that a bachelorette party, hungover from a wing-dang-doodle of a time in Vegas, make a wrong turn at Albuquerque, and end up running into the family of inbred hill folk. What proceeds are extended scenes of torture, mutilation, and murder as each of the bachelorette party are picked off one by one in various vile manners. The kill scenes are gratuitous in the gore department, but also have a sort of sado-masochistic vibe to them. For example, the film opens with Seed fucking one of the women with a handgun only to finish with a bang and then licking the gun free of blood and other fluids. This is gross stuff, but it also goes to a dark place few films dare go, which while reprehensible, is also kind of bold.

It was nice to see TCM2 actress Caroline Williams in a meaty role here and LAID TO REST Chromefaced killer Nick Principle is pretty ruthless as the masked monster Seed. I am also weirdly fascinated with the woman simply named Manoush, who plays the police officer outfit wearing matriarch of this clan of mutants and speaks in a thick Ukraine accent. And while it is revolting at times in terms of the level at violence at play, this is an endeavor in bad cinema that is almost inspiring. So while I can’t say this is a good movie, it is kind of fascinating in a train wreck sort of way. Proceed with caution towards BLOOD VALLEY: SEED’S REVENGE. You’ve been warned.

SLEDGE (2014)
Directed by John B Sovie II, Kristian HansonWritten by Kristian Hanson
Starring Kristian Hanson, Russell Matoes, Dustin Bowman, Stephanie Tupper, Tino Faygo, Travis Hanson, Rachel Cornell
Find out more about this film here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

A group of kids go in the woods where a psychopath likes to roam around and bash people to pulp with a sledge hammer. That’s the basic premise and really, there’s nothing more to this movie than that. The fact that Sledge talks makes this much more fun than your usual silent but violent killing spree. The fact that Sledge pretty much has no filter when it comes to what comes to his mind as he stalks the kids in the woods makes things all the more funnier. There are scenes where Sledge is in pursuit of his latest kill that play out like one would imagine it would if you could hear the silent killer’s inner monologue. For example, when a guy runs away from Sledge and shimmies under a fence, Sledge complains that he hates skinny people as he eases his bulky frame down and squeezes under the fence. There are many fun moments like this involving Sledge, making every scene he is in pretty much gold.

The film has a lot of fun playing as if it is a film within a film being watched by a girl trying to get over her boyfriend by zoning out on the couch. These scenes offer up a fun break in the tension and there’s even a trailer for a horror film starring Amish folk that was cleverly cut together. All in all, when Sledge is on screen, this is a damn fun film. Too bad the rest of the scenes weren’t as thrilling.

THE DEVIL INCARNATE (2013)
aka COPIII: THE FIRST ENTRY, CURSEDDirected by L. Gustavo Cooper
Written by Jon Bosworth, L. Gustavo Cooper, Coe Douglas
Starring Graci Carli, Rod Luzzi, Emily Rogers, Cindy Hogan, Tom Riska, Walter J. Colson, Barbara Van Fleet, Courtney Gardner
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

Focusing on a happy, recently married couple Holly & Trevor (Graci Carli & Rod Luzzi) who are taking a trip South for their honeymoon to see Trevor‘s parents. After getting their fortune read by a hack fortune teller, they are turned on by a hobo to a real medium and on a lark they follow his advice (I always follow hobo’s advice by the way), they find out that Holly is preggers, but the medium doesn’t stop there. She freaks out after reading her fortune and sends them out screaming. Soon after arriving at their new home, Holly begins to act strangely. First it is written off as the usual “hormones of the new mother” symptomology, but when Holly starts acting kookier than usual, her sister in law Marissa (played by the refreshing and plucky Emily Rogers) suspects something is wrong. Investigating some gibberish she overhears Holly saying whilst trying to make out with her, Marissa begins to uncover something witchy and demonic at work.

Again, if you haven’t seen any devil baby films this year, I think you might be impressed with THE DEVIL INCARNATE. The acting is good. The production is better than average and there are some well placed scares. But in a day and age when devil babies are popping out in litters, it’s hard for me to be excited about it.

THE PACT 2 (2014)
Directed by Dallas Richard Hallam, Patrick HorvathWritten by Dallas Richard Hallam, Patrick Horvath
Starring Scott Michael Foster, Caity Lotz, Camilla Luddington, Patrick Fischler, Amy Pietz, Haley Hudson, Mark Steger, Nicki Micheaux, Suziey Block
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

That’s not to say THE PACT 2 was a particularly bad film. There is a nice and unconventional tone to this film, focusing on June (Camilla Luddington) a crime scene cleaner/graphic artist and her boyfriend Meyer (Scott Michael Foster) who happens to be a cop investigating a string of murders that seem to bear an uncanny resemblance to the deceased Judas Killer’s MO. An FBI agent who is a lifelong Judas Killer profiler (played by MULLHOLLAND DRIVE’s Patrick Fischler) seems to be preoccupied by June whose art seems to have some kind of connection to the murders and to Judas. It all ties together rather well and doesn’t seem like a giant leap from story one in the original to this story in the sequel.

What worked so well in the original THE PACT was that there were definite supernatural elements at play, but there was a real world threat as well. In THE PACT 2, all of that gets rather muddy, making the viewer work harder to distinguish between the supernatural and crime elements. The thing is, I don’t feel the filmmakers had a firm hold on the concept and they weren’t sure themselves which makes figuring it out an exercise in futility for this viewer. There’s another aspect of the film involving the return of a cast member from the first film which feels more like a cop out than anything else, but I won’t spoil it here. THE PACT 2 has some decent scares, nice mood, and some above average performances by the cast, but it’s nowhere near the masterful work of suspense and terror the original was.

FOUND (2012)
Directed by Scott SchirmerWritten by Todd Rigney (novel), Scott Schirmer (screenwriter)
Starring Gavin Brown, Ethan Philbeck, Phyllis Munro, Louie Lawless, Alex Kogin, Andy Alphonse, Shane Beasley, Angela Denton, Edward Jackson, Adrian Cox-Thurmond, Dane Irwin
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Quiet, seething, and simmering, FOUND is a film that will sneak up on you in the night and strike deep just when you think you’re safe. While the opening moments of this film are dark, it still did not prepare me for the depths FOUND goes and having watched it a few days ago, I am still trying to scratch and claw myself out of the darkness it engulfed me in.



FOUND hurt me in the final moments like few films have before. Having gotten to know Marty through the film, you want somehow for him to come out of this unscathed, but Schirmer pulls no punches and never cheats by trying to give some kind of Hollywood ending. The final moments of FOUND will infuriate some, but for me, I admire the courage Schirmer has to go that far into the darkness. FOUND is a treasure—an awful nightmarish treasure, but a treasure nevertheless.

THE CANAL (2014)
Directed by Ivan KavanaghWritten by Ivan Kavanagh
Starring Rupert Evans, Antonia Campbell Hughes, Hannah Hoekstra, Steve Oram, Kelly Byrne
Find out more about this film here and on Facebook here
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
Oh wow. This is a fantastic film. Just a fantastic, fantastic horror film. I hold films like THE ORPHANAGE and THE OTHERS as amazing modern ghost stories and THE CANAL just joined them on that short list.

This is a dark, dark film. It goes places most films are just too scared to go. That said, I haven’t been more terrified as I have been with this film in a long, long time. There are scenes that take advantage of light and shadow that are so simple, yet unbelievably effective in sending chills right up and down my spine. Writer/director Ivan Kavanagh knows how to scare and does so with an unflinching tenacity that immediately makes him a major player in horror if he chooses to continue to make horror film (god, I hope he does).

I had to reveal enough of this film just to get to the point of where I can talk about specific points, so I won’t reveal any more. The film takes its time to let you know it’s a horror film. This is a well acted, superbly paced, terrifyingly realized horror film of the highest caliber. The perfect mix of emotion and terror plays out here as THE CANAL is one film no horror fan should miss.
And finally…one of my favorite horror songs of my youth and a tribute to backwoods horror films from the cracked mind of “Weird Al” Yankovic, “Nature Trail To Hell…IN 3D!” When Al nails it, he really nails it and he does so perfectly in this song! Enjoy this fan-made video of the song matched with some of our favorite backwoods horror! And beware, if you haven’t seen these, it does have multiple spoilers which includes a famous one from SLEEPAWAY CAMP. You know what it is, and you know it’s NSFW! You’ve been warned!
See ya next week, folks!


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