Father Geek here with the Tuesday morning Latin-AICN column. As some of you may know I just finished 10 days of Movie viewing (about 40 films) with the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez here in Austin at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema. This year we saw 4 films that are of special interest to this report's readers: THE VAMPIRE'S COFFIN, a 1957 Mexican film with German Robles, Ariadna Welter, Yerye Beirute, and Abel Salazar; a pretty cool flick with the look and feel of those old Universal Horror films of the late 1930's and 40's; SUCCUBUS, an erotic nightmare art film by Spanish writer/director Jesus Franco from 1967 filmed in Portugal; THE MUTHERS a 1976 women in prison feature from the Philippines by Cirio H. Santiago with the tagline of: "Out of the steaming slave markets come the ravaging sea-savages...the Muthers!"; and another movie from the Philippines, THE DEVIL WOMAN, Felix Villar's 1970 Horror/KungFu/Revenge film with Rosemarie Gil as the snake haired Medusa and Robert Chen as the fist flinging hero. We also saw KISS THE GIRLS AND MAKE THEM DIE which was shot on location in beautiful Rio back in 1966. This included a terrific chase/gunfight in/around/on-top-of the giant Jesus statue that overlooks the city. This made the X-MEN Statue of Liberty fight look like pure shit by comparison. What a location!!! Well, enough of Father Geek, here's LOBO. Ulysses, and Coffin Joe...

LOBO's Cave etchings...

QUICKIES / RAPIDINES

**** LUIS MANDOKI will make a movie about the death of Luis Donaldo Colosio a presidential candidate of Mexico that was assasinated and replaced by @%&#>? Zedillo.

**** EDWARD JAMES OLMOS wants to play the muralist Diego Rivera, husband of Frida Khalo, iether next to Jennifer Lopez or Salma Hayek.... RAUL JULIA was going to play this character in 1990.

**** ANTONIO AGUILAR is getting a star on the Hollywood walk of fame next to Cantinflas and Pedro Infante.

Bueno CineLocos , esto es something that I think is really cool , this is one of those things that I been waiting for and I can't wait for it to become reality, hopefully this crew will get together soon and make this happen, because I personally will enjoy watching movies in Spanish from all of the countries in the Americas (Mexico, Argentina, Chile, Peru, Bolivia, Cuba, U.S. etc...) and I don't have to wait for a festival that has just some of this films and happens once a year....

There is a great project out there between CARLOS SANTANA and EDWARD JAMES OLMOS on creating a chain of movie theaters showing movies in Spanish with English subtitles and I am not sure, but I hope that this idea of them is not just concentrating on films in Spanish made in the U.S., I understand that there is a lot of Latinos making movies in U.S. and that they don't get the attention they deserve which I think is really bad but at the same time I understand some of those production companies that stupidly think that the Latin films are somehow funky and just deal with gangs and stuff, but hey.. that is being stereotypical and that is not true because I know there is a lot of talent out there and besides "Blood in - Blood out", "My Family" , "Mi vida loca" there is movies like "The ice cream suit" which was a totally different face of what people think of Hispanic movies. I know there has been some peliculas that really suck...like "Price of glory" but hey.. that for me has to do with $$ I mean if you have mucho dinero to get you movie to big screen even if it sucks with that $$ you can make it happen. Anyways as I was saying before besides the movies made here in U.S. by Latinos , I hope that SANTANA and OLMOS also put their minds on the movies made outside U.S. because that way this could be a great thing and a mayor strike. Right now for example there is a lot of movies from Latin America that are getting a lot of awards and that are getting mentioned and recognized internationally, Mexico is going thru a really good moment since the Golden Age in the 50's without forgetting Cuba, Chile and Argentina. This for me is something that without a doubt is going to be a full success, for example I worked in a video store here in town and let me just tell you that most of the $ made in there was because the Spanish movies, I mean k'mon let's face it the Latin community is growing every day and with this all of the market related with it, ("Livin la vida loca" Ricky Martin), right now is the great time to start focusing on this kind of things cause this looks like a time bomb. I really like what this two guys are intending to do, I think is cool from them trying to help la raza and share the art on the Latin cinema with the people living here, I wish for this to be as fast as possible and I can't wait to go to one of this theaters and buy my ticket to see a movie with a title in Spanish and made by Raza.

P.S. ; One of these theaters in Austin won't hurt. An old Art House 4plex just became available you guys.

Later CineRaza..and please let me know what you think of this project by SANTANA and OLMOS by writing me at LOBO's cave deep in the cedars of the hill country.

ARGENTINA and Ulysses

Hey gang¦Ulysses reporting...

I love it when a small film than nobody saw coming just sneaks up at you, takes you by surprise and blows your fucking head off. Most of you will be thinking of The Sixth Sense or The Usual Suspects. Those are very strong examples, though Argentina is experimenting the joy of discovering a complete surprise hit of its own manufacture. On Thursday morning all the critics of the country joined in ecstatic praise of " Nine Queens ". Some of them actually called it the best Argentinean film of the decade and others even proclaimed it as one of the best national productions of all time. There is no doubt that it will be selected as our country`s representative for the Best Foreign picture category in the next few months. Director Fabian Bielinsky was able to make this movie thanks to a contest organized by a local production company. Its purpose was to select a screenplay in order to finance it. Hundreds of works came in, of which Bielinsky`s effort was chosen. The organization then conceded him the determined amount of money for production, a generous marketing campaign and a very wide release.

The film is a noirish thriller that follows the story of two swindlers. One of them, Marcos, is a fast-talking, experienced guy who has been around for many years and knows every twist of the business. The other one, Juan, is a young amateur whose ethical considerations don`t bode well for his future. They meet when the latter is trying to pull out a small con in the city market. Marcos spots him and instantly begins to recite every mistake he made and gives him some advice. Then these two men, master and disciple, will join forces for some minor scams, but when a retired forger called Sandler tells them about a series of nine stamps (hence the title) of immense value, the story changes direction. These stamps, the famous " McGuffin " of every thriller, is what will unravel the intricate and cleverly plotted avalanche of twists that will oblige the innocent viewer to remember every scene.

Each single word that Marcos says to his pupil could be a trap or could be real and that constant tension generates an atmosphere where anything could take place.

The ability with which the director handles these unexpected turns has been wildly praised, as the film doesn`t cheat the audience with dirty tricks. I still haven`t seen this movie, but I will very soon and I`ll be sending in my review.

From the southern pampas`¦Ulysses out

BRAZIL and Coffin Joe...

Hello freaks , geeks , weirdos , here´s this week´s Brazilian edition of Latin-AICN , with my review of the movie " Quase Nada " which is being released here this week .

" QUASE NADA " ( *ALMOST NOTHING)

I´m going to start this review talking about one the most obvious problems Brazilian films have these days : EVERY SINGLE BRAZILIAN MOVIE BEING MADE IS AN ARTSY-FARTSY FLICK . there you go I said it and I feel so much better . Fuck , what the hell is wrong with this place ? It seems filmmakers over here ( with a few exceptions ) , forgot about one little thing called AUDIENCE . Make a popcorn movie every once in a while you morons . " Quase Nada " is an art house type movie ; not in the cool sense of the term like " Chungking Express " or " City of Lost Children " or " The Limey " , no sir this is one of those movies made for pseudo-intellectuals , with references and metaphors and messages that make Spike Lee seem subtle .

Symbolism . I hate symbolism . This movie is full of it . Characters reading passages from books . Pretentious is not a strong enough word to describe this mess . Visually ? It has no style whatsoever , I mean , an episode of " Days of our Lives " has more camera work than this piece of stinkin´ shit . Director Sérgio Rezende is a veteran filmmaker , he made some pretty big movies like " Guerra de Canudos " , " Lamarca " and " Mauá " , three very expensive pictures for Brazilian standards , so he is no first-timer . What´s his excuse for this ? He wrote the damn thing as well for God´s sake . Three incredibly weak episodes are the core of this movie , separate stories that have the countryside as a backdrop . It´s like Alfred Hitchcock , but without style , pacing , you name it this film lacks it . You know those really bad episodes of " X-Files " or " Tales from the Crypt " , the ones you truly loathe ( remember the X-Files one about the guy who could change the weather , who had a sweetheart he liked , but couldn´t be with her , so he would get mad and the weather , well you know with the fat blonde chick from SNL , you know what I´m talking about ) . This movie is like three bloodless " Tales from the Crypt " episodes .

That about sums it up . The last one for instance , about a jealous husband , is just so filled with clichés it makes my stomach turn . At least the his wife gets naked , I mean the director knew he had to put a bit of T&A in the movie or nobody would keep their interest in this for too long . My advice to Mr.Rezende is basically to go back to his big budget historical epics like " Guerra de Canudos " , ´cause as far as suspense and small movies go , he doesn´t have the slightest clue of what the hell he is doing . Decent cast almost , I said almost , saves the day , but they can´t overcome the basic flaws of this picture .

That´s it for me , hope you have a good week and see you in seven days. Make sure to send your South American Film news to me at my office in Sao Paulo, Brasil.

Coffin Joe says : bye .