Ok, get ready to write your HATE mail to Hallenbeck, because he's poking holes at the Coen Brothers this time. Heresy? Well read. He quite elegantly (not) makes his case, knocks the hell out of 'intelligent' filmgoers that hate 'popcorn' films and well... I laughed my ass off and shared vocally this review with several unnamed friends around town. We laughed and howled. Do I agree with Hallenbeck's assessment of the Coen's career? Not quite, I really do like, a lot, Blood Simple (my fave), Miller's Crossing (second fave),and Raising Arizona. Now as for the rest... Well, I agree with Hallenbeck on the rest. I like the films, but they are FAR from great. I see Big Lebowski on Thursday, and am expecting a film that creates a feeling of 'glee'. As usual the warnings about Hallenbeck. He is not constrained by the normal morale use of vocabulary, he is known to use language that makes George Carlin blush, so beware. There are NO SPOILERS in his review though, he too hates spoiler ridden reviews. So read on if you dare, and if you consider yourself a 'film lover of extreme taste' BEWARE, he's gonna roast ya.
Fargo. The Hudsucker Proxy. Blood Simple. Raising Arizona. Barton Fink. Miller's Crossing. What do all thses well-known flicks have in common(besides the fact that they all make Gene and Roger cream in their pants)?...they are all decent, but highly overrated films by those kooky Coen Brothers. GASP! SHOCK! "You Heathen", you say!!! Yes, I, The Mighty Joe Hallenbeck, dares to say that the Coen Brothers' movies are decent at best and extremely overrated(However, I did think Miller's Crossing kicked ass. I really liked that flick)! Before you make that now cliche Call to Arms for my head, let me explain myself.
I don't "Hate" any of their films. I think they're incredibly funny in parts, beautiful to look at, and they all have great characters. Unfortunately, the characters have to be stuck in a mundane, cliched, predictable storyline. There are no "Ah-hahs!" in any of their films. No cool climaxes(although, I did like seeing Buscemi being ground up in that wood chipper). No great twists or turns of any sorts. I see no character growth, nor any logic to some of the more "trippy" events that occur during the course of their films.
When I watch a movie, I look for:
1) Originality of any kind(lots found in their movies)
2) Great characters(ditto)
3) Great, involving stories that these characters are placed in(not found in their movies. Their stories are simple).
4) Can't predict the ending(half and half in their movies. Fargo - yes. Miller's Crossing - No.)
I really want to love these guys like so many others do, but I just can't. Something is missing in all their movies(except Miller's) and most of the time I can't put my finger on what. However, after viewing their latest opus, The Big Lebowski, I now can safely say what's wrong with their movies: THE PLOT! Or in Lebowski's case...the lack of one.
Now that I've alienated half you readers and pissed off the other half, let I, the Mighty Joe Hallenbeck, tell you what's wrong and what's right about the Big Lebowski...
The Plot - Very thin...supermodel, Kate Moss, thin. I'm talking so anorexic that an Ethiopian child would look like Sally Struthers next to this plot. It has something to do with a kidnapping and a double cross or triple cross or...hey man...it's like... fuck it. Like the Coen Bros., I can't tell you what the hell this thing is about. The movie is like a drug induced haze. Nothing quite makes sense and nothing flows properly. It's like the main character, The Dude -- it just tumbles along like a tumbling tumble weed. No Acts really. Definitely no climax, and it must have the shittiest ending ever cooked up for the Big Screen. It's as if they said, "Fuck It. This looks like a good place to end the film." However, I would like to point out something -- I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!!! I haven't laughed this hard watching a movie since I saw The Postman...only this time it was intentional. Let me tell you more about it in the next category...
The Directing/Writing - These siblings have a way of concocting funny characters and placing them in shitty movies. I loved the characters in this flick. I wish they wouldn't even had have written a plot for these screwballs. It just should of been these guys talking and bowling. The dialouge was funny and crisp, but when any semblence of a plot showed up things went downhill. I loved the tripped out dream sequences(especially the music video), but everything else just sucked! I really hate watching a movie that makes me laugh my ass off, but fails to deliver on the story. There is no excuse for it! I know alot of these so called "Intelligent" filmmgoers will say the plot was thin on purpose...it's more of a character driven movie than a story driven one. I say... BULLSHIT!!! You same asswipes bitch and complain when you see a paperthin plot in something like ID4. When some "Simple" moviegoer like myself tries to explain to you that it's supposed to be more like popcorn than caviar, you just stick your prissy little nose up in the air and walk away thinking you know all there is to know about what makes a good movie good. Let me tell you something you arrogant little pricks, "You don't know Jack about movies!" People who love and respect movies as an art form as well as a form of entertainment(like myself) know what makes a good movie good and what makes a bad movie bad. Just because something tries to be "Intellectual" and attempts to be "Different" doesn't mean it's art. Most of the time it's shit. Lebowski is not shit by any means, but it ain't no Picaso either!!! Did the movie make me laugh -- YES, but so do those Budweiser commercials with the lizards. Laughing is great, but when I see a movie like this I want to laugh and be intellectually stimulated at the same time. I want me noggin' to be working over time. I don't want to say "That's it?!," when the flick is over. I hate it when I have to do that!!!
The Actors - Primo.
Jeff Bridges - Incredibly funny. I just wish his character was in another movie. His doped-out one-liners are hysterical(ie. "Yeah, well, uh...that's like...a matter of opinion, man."). I love THE DUDE!!!
John Goodman - I nearly pissed in my pants every time he said, "Shut the fuck up!" or starting comparing everything to Vietnam. He was just too damn funny. BTW, a classic line will be born in this movie: "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger up the ass!"
Buscemi, Moore, Tuturro(I know it's probably spelled wrong), and the rest - all great(especially Tuturro), but underused(once again, Tuturro).
The music - Fitting songs for the movie. The only one that stands out is, "What Condition My Condition Was In"(as heard in the Trailer).
The Climax - There was none. It basically occurs, but you won't know that was it 'til the damn thing is over.
Since I blew my wad in the firt couple of paragraphs(sorry ladies...I always have that problem), my closing will be short and sweet:
FUCK THE CRITICS!!!
If you want tons of laughs and the shittiest, incomprehensible plot this side of a Lynch Movie then this is your ticket! If not, stay home and watch Miller's Crossing...the one and only truly great film Ethan and Joel have ever made.
Send hate mail(and I'm sure to get lots) to:
