WHIPPED review

I haven't reviewed this festering boil of a film for weeks... I didn't want to revisit the tedium, the mediocrity and the sheer lameness of this monstrosity of bile.

However, I see that somehow this load of bat guano is actually beginning to smell like a rose to some of you folks out there in the world... They've doused enough perfume and whispered enough sweet words into your ear to possibly steal your hard earned money.

DO NOT BE FOOLED

This is one of the worst films I've seen this year.... It ranks somewhere with I DREAMED OF AFRICA (possibly the worst studio film I have ever seen) and BOYS AND GIRLS (a film advocating for cast genocide).

Point one... there are no characters that you care about at all. Not only that... but there are no characters that I was even willing to laugh about. Not only that... But I tied and untied my shoes repeatedly during the screening to somehow remain concious.

No you must be aware that this movie is not so bad it's good.... this isn't a bomb... this is one of those one star films that somehow you find yourself trapped watching.... wishing to leave... forced by an ethical oath you swore to never walk out.... exit sign screaming at you... the ticks of your life... going going going and gone.... those pages of your life buried in the putrid molasses of this mung.

Wanna go for the titties? Hit a strip club.. buy two drinks... Far better expense for your time.

You may have seen clips of scenes that were CUT OUT OF THE FILM because the MPAA said it went too far.... Well... those cut scenes were the ONLY FUNNY MOMENTS OF THE ENTIRE FILM APPARENTLY... and no wonder the filmmakers were so mad about them being cut... that they put them online... they knew... that was all they had.

Amanda Peet would be nice to look at naked and writhing on your own home furnishings... but here... here she's just a boring hag...

The various penises? Their owners are all the absolute sod of talent... the food upon which even the bottomfeeders of this sad sad end of the business feed upon. No charm, no sense of style... no talent for delivery of dialogue... Imagine a Neil LaBute film as though directed by ED WOOD and performed by actors on some pablum show on FX... it's maddeningly awful... STAY AWAY

You must understand... Just thinking about this fil infuriates me... I've seen it... Somebody somewhere said... "Hey, we should show this to Harry!" Somebody somewhere thought I'd like it. ARE YOU ON CRACK... THIS IS ONE TERRIBLE FUCKING MOVIE!!! WHY ARE YOU MAKING PRINTS? WHY ARE YOU EVEN ATTEMPTING TO BRING IT OUT? Go get some porn actors.... shoot 10 5 minute fuck scenes and sell it to the folks that frequent VIDEO PORN shops... because right now... the film they have folks... is a porn film with NO FUCKING!

Do not let these people take a shit in your head. I have warned you. STAY AWAY! Save that money to pay taxes.