Well folks, I got some disturbing email today. Turns out that in Los Angeles and New York newspapers there are BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN ads featuring the following:
"An A+! It rocks! I can't wait to take my girlfriend." Harry Knowles, Ain't It Cool Network
I was horrified by this. I had an immediate reaction to the email that follows. At no point, have I ever written and/or said the above statement. I have seen the film, in fact the screenwriter/producer himself sent me a video. However, I do not review videos. To me, a film experience is in a movie theater with an audience. I would never give a film an A+, because I don't rate movies. To me slapping a definitive label upon the film is wrong, because a film is something that each person reacts separately to. Who am I to definitively rate it? "It rocks" is another statement I would never say about BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN. In fact, while I did like the film in a sort of middle of the road kind of way, I did not think it propelled me to pump my fist in the air in excitement. As for the "I can't wait to take my girlfriend", well I don't have one right now, so there is no way I would say that. So wait a second, where on Earth did HOLLYWOOD PICTURES get this? Let me tell you.
At http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/coolnews/971207/4.html you will find an update from "Sunday, December 7, 1997 early morning 0500". You will see that a spy by the guise of "Apple Crisp" wrote a review. A happy review. He liked the film. In fact he had the following to say "This movie was an A+. I had never heard of it before seeing it(about a month ago) but can't wait to take my girlfriend to see it when it gets released." And then later in the article he says, "I don't want to ruin it so I won't give a way the ending but,as I said, the movie rocked."
Then I called Hallenbeck to get his reaction to the ad, he told me it read like this:
"An A+! It rocks! I can't wait to take my girlfriend." Harry Knowles' Ain't It Cool Network
See the apostrophe? That's a possessive, meaning my website. Thereby allowing the ad department to use my name, the site's name, but it kind of insinuates a favortism from me to the film. This confused a lot of people.
What did I think of the film? Well, I glad I saw it for free, because I would of been upset to of paid for it. However, since I didn't. Well... without out any personal loss of funds, I thought the film was worth the time spent watching it, but not much more. It contained some giggles, particularly with the Ryan O'Neil/Don Simpson style producer. The mere concept of the Jackie Chan, Sly Stallone and Whoopi Goldberg movie caused me to smirk. But would I ever recommend the film to ANYONE I KNOW personally. No. Most everyone I know would be bored to tears, because of their lack of 'industry' love. It was a very self-indulgent piece of film that was made to 'moon' the film industry. When the film is released on the 27th of February as the add banner undoubtedly is telling you right now, it will die.
In the original version of this 'diatribe' of mine I said the following:
Because if HOLLYWOOD PICTURES is so desperate to create an ad that claims what it does, this means they couldn't get Telenoticias and the 60 Second Preview to like it. Kinda sad actually.
However, after seeing the real ad, I see a very clever ad campaign that actually pokes fun at itself. It doesn't take itself seriously, which I guess is of course the reason why my spy's quote is at the top of the ad, well... it makes perfect illogical sense doesn't it?
As for HOLLYWOOD PICTURES' action, it is personally insulting, at first glance, but when you look at it... well, it makes me laugh. Those were not my words, I have never spoke them or typed them, I just cut and pasted them. So pay attention to the fine details readers. The proper credit should read "Agent APPLE CRISP, Ain't It Cool News"
Here's some reaction that the ad has brought, caused from a sampling of readers of my site:
