Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some rumblings from the Lab.
STUPID WEEKEND!! GET HERE NOW!! I WANNA SEE THIS FILM!! STUPID, STUPID WEEKEND!!
Oh, yeah... here's Luke Cage, Hero For Hire. Boy's gettin' to be a bit of an asset. Sneaky... vicious... dangerous... just the kind of spy we like!!
Reasonable rates, satisfaction guaranteed, Luke Cage, Hero For Hire returns...
Happy day to every AICN reader and trolling studio focus-group dickhead. I am in one helluva great mood after seeing the latest John Waters film, the excellent CECIL B DEMENTED.
"Hey, hey, MPAA, how many movies did you censor today?" Hollywood makes 99% crap and it's time someone held them accountable. This movie does it.
I have a confession to make. I've never seen a John Waters film sober. Never in my life. Drunk when I saw Pecker, drunk when I rented Serial Mom, drunk at Hairspray and Polyester. The three times I saw Pink Flamingoes I was drunk, drunk, and then stoned AND drunk. (Please note: Luke Cage and Hero For Hire, Inc. do not endorse drinking at John Waters movies because your brain may explode. True fact.) So instead of a spoiler warning, I'm giving you the "I got drunk with buddies before seeing this" warning.
For starters, the score kicks much ass. Moby does the opening theme, The Locust supplys the speed-metal power, and the instrumental music is done by Mr. Anvil of Crom, Basil Poledouris (sp?)
John Waters takes aim at the movie industry and scores big time. In the year 2000, every media outlet is crammed with ads for lousy flicks. Lame ideas are greenlighted. Focus groups and marketing surveys dilute everything down to the lowest common denominator. What's an uncompromising filmaker to do? Stephen Dorff's Cecil has a vision: Open and armed revolt against the Hollywood system. He kidnaps Melanie Griffith's character, Honey Whitlock the movie star, and forces her to act in his guerilla film. In the intensity of the experience, Whitlock goes Patty Hearst (Clever as always, Waters actually cast Hearst in a bit role) and embraces the Demented ideology.
It's always more fun to be the bad guy, and Stephen Dorff had a damn party: his Cecil is Ed Wood and Charles Manson rolled together and smoked. He's a tragic hero, reaching for cinematic immortality, refusing to compromise, and knowing all the time that it will get him killed. He is the enemy of family movies, the scourge of big-picture crap. Dorff beautifully hams up every single moment on camera. Griffith's normally annoying, aint-I-cute tone of voice actually helps her here. She moves from snarling movie star bitch to daring cinema terrorist in a ninety minute movie, and it works. Also, big props to Alicia Witt, an under-appreciated actress who fully inhabits the role of Cherish, anal porn star turned film guerilla.
As in previous movies, Waters is willing to make the characters less than three-dimensional in order to make his point clear. And the satire is laid on thick in the first few seconds, with theater marquees advertising "Patch Adams - The Director's Cut!", "Scream 4", "Forrest Gump 2". The movie execs are greedy bitches who can't even explain why they participate in the characde, they're like wasted gamblers who can't quit unless they recoup their debts. Cecil's film crew are a fun bunch of Satanists, sadists, suicidals and sex-crazed maniacs.
Bottom line is, for a particular audience (the normal bunch of AICN hooligans, for instance) this movie is funny as hell. The comedy is balanced between raunchy and non, the pacing is so good that the manic energy of the title character never fades, and you may shed a genuine tear at the end. Probably won't win an Oscar, but neither Cecil B Demented nor John Waters would care about that crap anyway.
Luke Cage, Hero For Hire will be demented forever HERE!!
Peace, love and disco.
