WHAT LIES BENEATH review

Ya know what... Moriarty is going to hate me. John Robie is going to hate me. Alot of folks I know are going to hate me.

But ya know what, I don’t care.

WHAT LIES BENEATH is dividing critics and writers right up the middle. If you check out Rotten Tomatoes you will find that there is a nearly exact 50/50 split on WHAT LIES BENEATH.

It’s critics hate the film with a passion. Yelling about it’s terrible script, the ham-fisted acting, the blatant pissing on the grave of Alfred Hitchcock, the bump bump noisy cheap scares.... BLAH.... they say.

Elvis Mitchell from the New York Times says, “It’s Openly Schlocky.”

On this site of mine, I’ve seen the film called a “steaming pile of shit,” which was then in turn quoted by ROLLING STONE in an article by Peter Travers about online ‘geek’ critics.

Now, I’m just now seeing WHAT LIES BENEATH, tonight actually... I went, took my Dad... Paid $15 at the Gateway theater tonight to see... what my friends were calling ‘a steaming pile of shit’.

Why would I pay full price to see a movie so heavily decreed by everyone I personally know?

Because... well, I wanted to rest when I got back in town... Had to take care of business, had to enter my home for the first time in two weeks and lay on my bed and turn on my computer and sigh..... HOME....

I decided to catch the last showing of the day...

Dad and I went in... grabbed our seats... and watched as the entire theater filled up. Very heavy in the female demographic. Whole groups of women and couples. But I was struck by the fact that it was full. This film has been out for a week now... if it was the steaming pile of shit that I had been hearing... then friends of these people should’ve scared them all off... But even the front row of the theater was full.

Hmmmm, I tell Dad, “Well... I don’t know what’s going on here... but obviously this movie has some word of mouth on it.”

Dad looked at me funny... as if to say that perhaps marketing had something to do with it... NO... the trailers suck for this film. The posters do nothing to make you WANT to see the film. No classic tag lines or advertising for this film.

The only reason for a late night Friday packed house on the second weekend of a film... is... somebody likes this film and told someone.

A lot of someones.

While sitting there, this lady stops and asks me what I think of the film. I inform her that I haven’t seen it, but that a friend said it was a piece of shit. She says, “Yeah, my brother said that too, but my son said that I should see it and take my friends.” Hmmmm....

Right before writing this review... I went into our Chat here on the site and took a brief... “WHAT DID YOU FOLKS THINK OF WHAT LIES BENEATH?”

Two people didn’t like it, and everyone else was terrified of the film (in that stinky bomb sort of way) and the rest just had dramatic disinterest.

I was always raised to ‘find out for yourself and to think for yourself’.

So that’s why I was there.

I enjoyed the hell out of WHAT LIES BENEATH. It is by no means perfect. But I can tell you right now one of the key issues alot of these haters of the film have with this flick...

HITCHCOCK.

I can see how if you are looking at this film and you are saying... $90 million dollars, Robert Zemeckis, Harrison Ford, Michelle Pfeiffer... and then you ad themes of Hitchcock throughout... How some critics might have a profound involuntary hatred spew forth about the film.

But like I have said before... $90 Million dollars? What is that? This movie cost $15 and 2 hours of my time. That is the real cost. And did it fill those 2 hours and give me $15 worth of entertainment?

Oh yeah. Is it a classic? No. Is it worthy of a pimple on the ass of Hitchcock? Maybe.

But I will tell you that every single review I’ve read has been making the wrong comparisons. This isn’t REAR WINDOW or PRESUMED INNOCENT. This is Brian DePalma’s BODY DOUBLE.

I love BODY DOUBLE. I’ve seen it so many times I can’t even began to recount them all.

Michelle is in the Craig Wasson role. Harrison Ford is in the Gregg Henry and Amber Valletta is in an abridged version of Deborah Shelton’s character.

This is a B-movie version of a Hitchcock film, exactly like DePalma used to make before he even blew that. This is a movie that is meant to entertain and give it’s audience the heebie jeebies. It’s also a ghost story. The type where you can see Michelle’s character beginning to feel spaced out and eeried away when the PHONE rings. Where subtle (and not so subtle) faces and visages of some undead thing arrives.

The red herrings? Everybit as obvious as in BODY DOUBLE... but ya know what? So what?

All I know is my audience wasn’t catcalling or snickering... there was no laughing during key scenes and the theater was stark quiet... except during key tension moments when you would suddenly here like 60 asses shift in their seats to make a un-oiled Tin Man sound.

Now... I want to point something out here. Like I said, this is a B-Movie suspense/ghost/Hitchcock knockoff.

This isn’t OBSESSION or BLOW OUT or DON’T LOOK NOW... this is closer to BODY DOUBLE, DRESSED TO KILL and SISTERS. There’s more cheese on the cracker, but I was satisfied all the same.

Should this have been better material? Absolutely. Should Harrison Ford cease looking for roles that don’t force him to stretch a bit? YES. Will Zemeckis win an Academy Award this coming ceremony? Well, he’ll at least be nominated and the early early early advance money is on him to win in my casino. (for CASTAWAY btw, not this.)

But whatever you do... don’t listen to me or Moriarty... make up your own mind when you see the film. Critics, writers? We like to spout our opinions and sage advice upon your viewing angles... but ultimately it is up to you to decide if the $15 is worth it.

For me, it was. For you? Well, ya can’t answer till you’ve seen it.