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Advance Review: JUSTICE LEAGUE 3000 #1
Advance Review: WWE SUPERSTARS #1


Writer: Keith Giffen & J.M. DeMatteis
Artist: Howard Porter
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Optimous Douche

This is definitely one for the generation that could only watch cartoons on Saturday mornings and went to our first school dances in Z. Cavariccis. The original peddlers of Bwahahahaha are back with a JUSTICE LEAGUE that wafts of a time long ago even though the story events take place in a time yet to come.

The post CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS DeMaGiffen JUSTICE LEAGUE still stands as one of the boldest and most revered periods for DC’s top crime fighters. The DC universe had just gone through a very dark time and needed a serious dose of irreverence to refill the depleted well of optimism left in the Anti-Monitor’s wake. Booster Gold, Blue Beetle and eventually a whole group of Europeans showed us that heroes always won and they had a damn good time doing it. The danger DC ran with this direction was the book traversing into unadulterated silliness, but the boys were able to keep the action and danger cranked to 11, so instead of being simply immature our heroes were cavalier and thus inspiring in the face of adversity. The success of this iteration was also imbedded in the fact that the JUSTICE LEAGUE were real flesh and blood characters as opposed to caricatures of heroics. They were also, after some growth, a family, complete with the same emotional turmoil as your own. The JUSTICE LEAGUE simply had to go fight crime after petty squabbles over bathroom time or after a date.

DC tried to recapture some of this magic when the New 52 was launched, but sadly the new JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL simply didn’t resonate. For the longest time I blamed the creators, thinking they had somehow “lost it” between the Reagan and Obama administrations. JUSTICE LEAGUE 3000 confirms that nothing was lost by the creators, merely DC decided to launch with too many JL teams before defining their respective purposes in the universe. One needs to introduce a team before they introduce a clandestine team to manage that other unknown team. The formula has been working now in JUSTICE LEAGUE AMERICA because the universe had time to establish itself and the book also skips the snark.

JUSTICE LEAGUE 3000 is not only a salvation for Bwahahaha, but also the 31st century. LEGION was another book that tried to splinter too soon and thus left even the most imbedded DC fans with a collective WTF response to its happenings.

Clones, damn dirty clones. It’s a Sci-Fi truism from Star Wars to now DC. This is not some future generation picking up the mantle of the famed five; Green Lantern, Flash, Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman. JUSTICE LEAGUE 3000 are facsimiles of Hal Jordan, Diana Prince, Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, Bruce Wayne and of course Clark Kent. What I found immediately intriguing was the fact they all know they’re clones and kind of despise themselves for it. DeMaGiffen also settle the old debate of nature versus nurture – Clark is lecherous, Diana is rage incarnate, Barry and Hal are whiners, only Bruce still holds to his present day douchiness (though he does it with much less gravel and remorse). Created on planet CADMUS, these five are created to help the universe rebuild from a great cataclysm and fight an ethereal five whoa re mentioned, but never seen. Of course they need to stop tugging at each other’s capes first.

Created on the planet CADMUS, JUSTICE LEAGUE’S creators are as much a part of the story as the Fab Five themselves. Ariel Masters is a scientist on the run from CADMUS and her creations. We don’t know why just yet, but this was probably the most intriguing part of the story. Ariel is the only one who has her shit together and acts like an adult. The clones get a pass, whether you give a pass to the petulant lab assistants that ran Ariel out of the program will depend on how well nostalgia melts the cold cockles of your heart. Terry and Terri are super teen scientists who clearly picked up Ariel’s worked and botched the living shit out of it as we can see from the less than perfect imprinting of the JUSTICE LEAGUE members’ personalities. In fact, they screwed up so badly they have been sarcastically been dubbed the Wonder Twins by the elder scientists (yes, I laughed at this). To correct their mistake it’s now T&T’s job to keep this team in line by acting as their handlers, while they also try to figure out how half of the team’s memories were scrambled during creation.

Humor and a deep imbedding of current lore make it easy to keep turning the pages. I’ll admit the first half of the book left me wondering at times what I was reading since nary a cape appears during the introduction of the scientists, but DeMaGiffen brings it all together quite wonderfully half way through. For anyone adverse to talky books, take a few deep breaths and no that the action is right around the corner. There are also clues for the clever eye to discern about the current fate of the DC universe in these pages. Hal Jordan doesn’t have a ring, just a shitty cloak that kind of emulates the Lantern’s power. Apparently, the Green Lantern Corps is one the most reviled teams in history. Clark Kent is seen as a vile fiction that should never be uttered (especially not around this new of so Broski Superman). There are other little nuggets, but I don’t want to be the jerk that fills out Highlights magazine and puts it back on the rack. Go have your own fun.

Porter’s art takes a little getting used to since he’s a Scott Kollins light. I like it, but then I tend to lean towards either the utter realistic or utterly avant-garde.

I laughed quite a few times in this book, which is what I expected. I hate to say it, but that’s the brand DeMaGiffen have created for them selves (sorry guys). I’m also wondering what kind of staying power this book will have. As I said earlier, the 31st has been problematic for DC, as have any titles that stray to far from the core of happenings in JUSTICE LEAGUE proper. I’m a fan so far, I just hope there’s enough out there that join me.

Optimous Douche has successfully blackmailed BottleImp to draw purty pictures for his graphic novel AVERAGE JOE coming out in 2013 from COM.X. When not on Ain’t It Cool, Optimous can be found talking comics and marketing on and just marketing on


Plot, pencils and inks: Dean Haspiel
Script: Mark Waid
Publisher: Red Circle/ Archie Comics
Reviewer: BottleImp

Dean Haspiel and Mark Waid bring their A-game once again to this second issue. The madcap blend of action, thrills, humor and (most of all) fun that sold me on THE FOX in its premiere issue packs this comic from cover to cover, as the Fox battles giant monsters, raging rivers and vivid hallucinations on a strange alien planet. The Jack Kirby influence that was heralded in issue #1’s cliffhanger reveal of the sci-fi-skewed Queen of Diamonds positively crackles here—as a matter of fact, the only thing that this issue could use are some authentic Kirby Krackles™ and I would think I was reading a classic issue of FANTASTIC FOUR.

Haspiel’s clean-cut style and dynamic compositions infuse the story with a combination of retro charm and modern freshness, while Waid taps into his inner Beatle to pepper the comic with an inner monologue for the Fox that perfectly complements his situation of being spirited away to the pseudo-psychedelic diamond world. I also love that Waid and Haspiel chose to have the Queen of Diamonds converse with our hero in a babbling sort of broken English; her quirky dialogue both adds to the alien-ness of the character and enhances the freaky feel of the storyline.

One minor quibble I do have, however, is that Haspiel and Waid need to remember that not every reader is as familiar with the old Red Circle/MLJ superheroes as they are. One of the best things about Archie’s NEW CRUSADERS title is that they made the characters and their universe easily accessible to new readers. While the Fox himself has been given a proper introduction to a fresh audience, Haspiel and Waid should be careful not to do too much name-dropping of the other Archie superheroes in this series. In this issue, for example, the Fox crosses paths with Bob Phantom. “Who is Bob Phantom?” you may ask. Answer: I’m not really sure, aside from a random superhero/sci-fi type who happens to have the worst hero name around. I’m all for shedding some light on obscure comic book characters—but you’ve got to make sure that flipping on the switch doesn’t still leave your readers in the dark.

Small complaints aside, THE FOX is one heck of a fun comic. Throw in the back-up story featuring a WWII-era Shield written by J.M. DeMatteis with art by Mike Cavallaro and Terry Austin, and you’ve got yourself a wonderfully energetic reminder of what a really entertaining experience reading funny books can be.

When released from his bottle, the Imp transforms into Stephen Andrade, an artist/illustrator/pirate monkey painter from New England. He's currently hard at work interpreting fellow @$$Hole Optimous Douche's brainwaves and transforming them into pretty pictures on AVERAGE JOE, an original graphic novel to be published by Com.x. You can see some of his artwork here.


Writer: Ed Brisson
Art: Johnnie Christmas
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug

Smart writing, gorgeous art, compelling story. That’s what you’re going to get with SHELTERED, the latest in post-apocalyptic tales, though this one has a twist—the apocalypse hasn’t quite come yet. Playing on paranoia and the gullibility of the meek, SHELTERED takes snippets from other ongoing tales of survival like THE WALKING DEAD and CROSSED and takes the physical horror out of it. Relying solely on the tales they’ve been told all of their lives warning them of a threat that is inevitable, the children in SHELTERED feel more like cast members from LORD OF THE FLIES or CHILDREN OF THE CORN than anything else. I hate to compare this to those classic tales, but the comparisons are accurate, I guess.

I hate to spoil the big ending of issue one, but in order to talk about the story, I’m going to have to, so if you want to go into this book fresh as a daisy, scroll down now and just know that this is a great read you should be getting on a monthly basis rather than waiting for trade. So be warned—thar be spoilers ahead!

While the first issue is a punch to the gut as the children of the survivalists of Safe Haven decide to kill their parents in order to ration supplies for the coming apocalypse, but Brisson has much more as far as shocks in store after this opening act. Some of the kids weren’t in on the coup and others who were are beginning to have their doubts. I don’t know how long this series is planned to go, but this feels like the opening salvo in a long battle for the kids of Safe Haven wiping out the adults is not the worst thing that could happen to them. This trade collects the first moments where the horrible betrayal occurs and Lucas, the self-proclaimed leader of the children, begins to make moves to make sure the community stays together and under his thumb. Lucas is a fantastic character as his charisma is on full display in one key scene where he talks one of his Lieutenants into breaking up with his girlfriend for the greater good of the group. In these moments, I am reminded of the excellent film about a group of kids taking over a military academy called TAPS with Timothy Hutton, Tom Cruise, and Sean Penn or even the lesser remake TOY SOLDIERS as these kids are playing adult without truly knowing how to be adults in a very adult situation.

One thing that I both appreciate and wonder about is the absence of religion in this story. While I know naming a religion is opening a Pandora’s Box, I feel that these communities often do have some kind of religious background. It made CHILDREN OF THE CORN all the more interesting and the worship of the pig’s head in LORD OF THE FLIES relies on it as well. Even in TAPS and TOY SOLDIERS, the children soldiers had the honor of the armed forces to cling to. Here, there’s nothing for the kids to cling to rather than the words of Lucas and already the edges of this plan are fraying because of it. On the other hand, it’s nice not to see someone sermonizing as it is has become somewhat of a cliché in this type of story.

Johnnie Christmas does a fantastic job in this book making this feel like a cold and dangerous setting for this story to take place in. While the figures are somewhat lanky and maybe even manga like in a COWBOY BEBOP sort of way, the artist keeps it real enough so this feels like it these characters could exist in the real world, making the concept that this sort of thing could very well happen in the real world all the more scary. Christmas also does a great job of making each character distinct, a must when these kids are basically wearing plain clothes and not costumes. Not once did I get lost and ask which character was who and that’s because of the subtle distinctions Christmas adds to the characters.

SHELTERED’s effectiveness lies in the fact that this is a story that could actually happen and that’s damn scary. With the inundation of new number one issues from Image Comics, it’s hard to discern which books to try out and which ones to ignore after the first issue. SHELTERED is bound to grab you from issue one and after reading this trade and the way this one ends, you’re going to find yourself dropping the book and running to your comic store to buy the next issue just to see what happens next.

Highly recommended!

Ambush Bug is Mark L. Miller, original @$$Hole/wordslinger/writer of wrongs/reviewer/interviewer/editor of AICN COMICS for over 12 years & AICN HORROR for 4. Mark’s written comics such as THE TINGLERS & WITCHFINDER GENERAL, DEATHSPORT GAMES, NANNY & HANK (soon to be a feature film from Uptown 6 Films), Zenescope’sGRIMM FAIRY TALES Vol.13 & UNLEASHED: WEREWOLVES – THE HUNGER and a chapter in Black Mask Studios’OCCUPY COMICS. FAMOUS MONSTERS’ LUNA: ORDER OF THE WEREWOLF (co-written with Martin Fisher) will be available soon in trade. Mark also wrote the critically acclaimed GRIMM FAIRY TALES PRESENTS THE JUNGLE BOOK and its follow up THE JUNGLE BOOK: LAST OF THE SPECIES! Follow Ambush Bug on the Twitters @Mark_L_Miller.


Writer: Jason Aaron
Art: Nick Bradshaw
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Henry Higgins is My Homeboy

So, can we just all come together and agree that WOLVERINE & THE X-MEN is unequicabloy awesome? It gave us great new characters, wonderful environments, and still managed to appeal to people who just want to see Wolverine being awesome. It's an endlessly inventive book, and getting to see an extended look at one of the most creative additions to the series.

I missed Kid Gladiator. I missed him a lot. He was one of the new characters introduced into the series, and appealed to two wonderful sensibilities; A, he fulfilled the typical "cocky jock" role for a surprisingly grounded teen drama within the book, and B, was an alien who wants to try and punch the Hulk. This issue is less of a tie-in to INFINITY (in fact, if you read INFINITY at all, then this advanced the story by literally nothing) and more an extended singular look at one character. The extended look on the character helps further and illuminate the character, in a constantly amusing way.

Nick Bradshaw has worked previously on the title, and his attention to detail is wonderful throughout the issue. His pencils have a wonderful cartooney feel to them, his characters moving through each panel. There's great framing during the issue where Kid Gladiator has drifted through each panel, and OH GOD the sheer joy of the later segments alone are worth the price of admission.

His new level of alienation is communicated well throughout the issue, as is the sheer joy he has during the latter parts of the comic. The sheer joy he has for combat is contrasted brilliantly with his quieter moments, especially the final page. It's a beautiful example of acting in comics, as he tries to go back to the original jerky persona, but is just too happy to hide.

This is a great comic. Go. Buy it, even if you don't read INFINITY or WOLVERINE & THE X-MEN.


Writer: Garth Ennis
Artist: Michael Dipascale
Publisher: Avatar Press
Reviewer: Optimous Douche

Sweet, charming, and at times utterly horrific. The last platitude one expects from the creator of CROSSED and the fashionable Tit Purse, Tit Tote and coming in the spring collection the Tit Clutch, but the first two acknowledgements are not ones usually heard for an Ennis piece of work.

Yes, I’m a rabid (pardon the pun) dog lover (as seen by 90% of the pictures I take), but I can also discern when books permeating with pooches are simply trying to cash in on the same zeitgeist that has given Grumpy Cat it’s own TV show. With RED, ROVER, CHARLIE though, the zeitgeist is the same vibe as WE3 crossed with the tamer moments of CROSSED. Perhaps the joke is on me and Ennis is simply lampooning the anthropomorphizing of animal speak. If so, I’ll gladly take a flogging as the clown inside the dunk tank because the heart wants what the heart wants. My bleeding heart wants more RED, ROVER, CHARLIE even if I end up being the butt of the joke.

The world is ending; humans are tearing apart each other as well as themselves. However, the tearing apart only happens when there is no gasoline for humans to douse themselves in or no wall to splat their heads against. Our guide on this journey is Charlie, a breed I can best describe as a mutt. He’s a service dog, which helps twist this tale from the external horror of gore and death, to a psychological horror. After all, dogs live to serve and service dogs represent the pinnacle of this selfless existence.

Charlie’s companions as you guessed are Red and Rover. Red, is an affable ruddy colored Golden Retriever. Rover is a hanged face Bassett Hound. They serve good companion fodder since neither breed, without extensive training, could be the hero of any story. My Golden Retriever, Fergus, is terrified of his own shadow and the only rescuing he’s capable of is emotional assistance through copious amounts of cuddling. Bassett Hounds are stubborn as the day is long, one of the harder breeds to train given their short legs and even shorter attention span. Ennis either loves dogs or did his research for this book, because both are appropriately useless in this end-world scenario without Charlie’s guide dog level of training.

Ennis successfully gets to the heart of animals, but be prepared for some logical inconsistencies. “I’m a dog, I’m a dog, I’m a dog.” When the boys actually vocalize outside their thought bubbles to one another, this is what they are saying to the humans with every bark. I’m a dog, don’t hurt yourself. I’m a dog, I can help you. I’m a dog, please don’t leave me alone. It’s a powerful message about our best friends’ desire to protect us, even if we would rather die.

When Red, Rover and Charlie speak to one another or any other dogs in their travels, the yappers shut and the thought bubbles begin. Personally, I liked how Ennis dogified the world. For example, people are referred to as Feeders and water is defined as splash. Now, some will have issues with things like Rover talking funny because his owners came from across the “big splash” (i.e. England). How can a dog not know the name for water, but understand geography? Personally, I look at the examples of every pet that has found their way home after being lost. I understand it’s a romanticized ideal on my part, but if religion has gotten a pass for the past few millennia then I think I’m well within my right for this leap of faith. And let’s face it, how many of us are actually reading comics for the realism. If you can’t shut off logical inconsistencies, you should really find a new hobby.

There are further endearments, but I don’t want to ruin them here. And for all the sadistic fucks who follow the church of Michael Vick, there’s a little bit of doggy ultra-violence for a 4th traveler, a German Shepard whose also a racist (c’mon we all have met one of those dogs).

Dipascale earned his stripes on this assignment simply for balance. It’s tough to show emotion on a Dog’s face, hence why animal behaviorists live and die by posture and the motions of the tail. Given we don’t have the luxury of movement in comics, Dipascale found a way to use the subtlety of the eyes to show our protagonists’ emotional states. Likewise with the humans, since we don’t have the luxury of words since we are traversing the book from our canine companions’ point of view.

If you’re tired of your horror being grosser than gross, RED, ROVER, CHARLIE explores the end of days through the most innocent of eyes. It’s powerful, heart breaking and yet exudes an optimism that could only believably be delivered through the heart of a dog.


Writer: Greg Pak
Artist: Brett Booth
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: The Kid Marvel

In BATMAN SUPERMAN #5, we had a shift in artist, story, but not writer for the New 52 BATMAN SUPERMAN series, with Greg Pak staying on at the story helm, while Brett Booth took over for Jae Lee in the art department.

In BATMAN SUPERMAN #6, Pak picks up where 5 left off, with Batman getting blasted through his chest and Mongul sporting the Dark Knight’s dead body as a trophy. Nightwing is nowhere to be found, assumed dead or no threat, with Superman returning to deal with Mongul himself. Superman then dukes it out with Mongul, before knocking him as far away as he can to check on Batman. Who is currently without a pulse and has stopped breathing quite some time ago, which are both very difficult if there is giant hole in your chest, where the lungs and heart used to reside. However, in Halo like fashion Batman gets a respawn on his life, literally. The gamers that Toy Master gathered have unlocked some kind of extra life for the Dark Knight, putting him on par physically with Superman. Both heroes then go back and forth hitting each other, in between fighting Mongul, because what is Batman and Superman without the two fighting each other. BATMAN SUPERMAN #6 continues on, providing Pak’s take on gamer logic and how he sees the World’s Finest duo, with a overall subpar story, with Booth’s action pieces really being the redeeming quality of the book.

In retrospect and after the story moved along, I much preferred Pak’s last arc, but even then I wasn’t crazy about it. So in this Mongul/Toymaster arc, I just find it comes across as weird and confusing, not for the story line and following it’s development, but because why would a super alien like Mongul be interested in gamers and making a gamer mind hive? Also when Batman dies and Superman confirms it, why the hell did he shrug it off like it was nothing? He should have been power raging and beating Mongul’s face in AMERICAN HISTORY X style, but instead he’s seem more annoyed and kind of like ehh, these things happen. Same goes for Nightwing. Bruce, even though he might not be in a proper state of mind, does seem aware enough to know what’s going on and what happened, so why isn’t he also going bat shit crazy (pun intended) over the possible death of Dick. Instead he doesn’t even give a second thought from the last issue, or even a reference to his adopted son for that matter.

I’m also not a fan of how inexperienced both Batman and Superman come across. I understand they’ve been infected to a certain extent mentally, but before meeting Mongul, they just seemed all over the place and like they’ve haven’t been doing the hero thing for very long. The idea behind the plot seems nice, it’s just doesn’t flow with the characters or grasp any emotional feedback as a reader. It does however have pretty pictures and colors, but lacks any depth behind it.

This leads me into the art department of BATMAN SUPERMAN #6, with Brett Booth on pencils and whose style I much prefer over Jae Lee’s abstract work for BATMAN SUPERMAN. While the story may be lacking, the art does not for the most part. Other than a few missteps lining up with the story and actually connecting art work to the unfolding story, everything is detailed nicely and beautiful designed. Although, this isn’t directly related to the art itself, the horizontal reading used for BATMAN SUPERMAN does get frustrating and kind of annoying at certain times. Other than that, Booth does a great job on the book and Norm Rapmund on inks, really creates some superb action sequences and vibrant colors.

BATMAN SUPERMAN #6 isn’t a bad book but it’s far from great and contains too many “buts”, to be anything other than average. The story just doesn’t work with the action being it’s only plus, making this an art centered book. Things just don’t connect or flow in BATMAN SUPERMAN the way they should, making the book nothing more than showcasing Booth skills, hopefully the next arc gets back to a story with some more substance.

Advance Review: In Stores Today!


Writer: Mick Foley & Shane Riches
Artist: Alitha Martinez
Publisher: Super Genius
Reviewer: The Dean

Is there a better pairing of worlds than that of comics and professional wrestling? History says yes, but that’s not stopping the WWE! WWE SUPERSTARS #1 hits stands this week, but the difference this time is that hardcore legend, former champion, and bestselling author Mick Foley is contributing to the writing efforts (along with Shane Riches, with whom Foley last collaborated for R.P.M), and now we have what looks to be a pretty good little series for all of us hybrid wrestling/comics fans out there.

There’s no mistaking it, either. The hybrid fan is exactly who this comic is for. If you love comics, but have no interest in the WWE, I’m not going to waste time convincing you to read it, because you probably shouldn’t. But WWE fans who haven’t ventured into their local comic book store in a while have a reason to Wednesday, because WWE SUPERSTARS#1 ramps up the usual Monday night (and Wednesday night, Friday night, and one Sunday night a month) drama to tell the story of Titan City – a sprawling and corrupt metropolis full of superstars and divas who all happen to have a part in either furthering that corruption or fighting against it.

John Cena is fresh out of prison (just go with it) after being locked up for a crime he didn’t commit, and CM Punk is working an underground movement to topple the oppressive Triple H and McMahon regime. Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan’s developed a nasty graffiti habit, Dolph Ziggler’s a police detective, and Anonio Cesaro continues to be underutilized. Pretty ridiculous, but that’s what makes it fun. It’s a challenge to read and critique something like this seriously, because it’s simply not meant to be taken seriously. This isn’t SCALPED or CRIMINAL, and it’s not trying to be, but Foley and Riches are good storytellers and even with a concept as wild as this, they make it readable, and enjoyable.

Where this issue suffers and starts to detract from the overall experience is in the artwork from Alitha Martinez. You can check out NEW CRUSADERS from Archie Comics for an example of how talented Martinez truly is, but the work here isn’t her best. The larger than life WWE Superstars should be easy and fun to translate to comics for an artist with her ability, but the characters are all a bit bland, and I can never tell if I’m looking at AJ Lee or a Bella Twin; Triple H or Randy Orton. Some of the alternate covers are truly fantastic, with Jill Thompson’s CM Punk cover being my favorite, and that just makes looking at what’s inside all the more difficult. Hopefully one day someone like Thompson, a noted fan, can take the reigns of this or another WWE series, but for now we’re stuck with some underwhelming, and uninspired work.

It wasn't going to take much, but the poor artwork aside, WWE SUPERSTARS is the best wrestling comic fans could probably ask for, and it’s all thanks to a man who’s already given enough to the wrestling world! Foley and Riches embrace the characters, understand what makes them great, and put them in situations that are actually amusing in a good way for once instead of bad (see NASH or WARRIOR for the bad). Hopefully, with a few more strong issues and a positive fan response, WWE SUPERSTARS will open the floodgates for a new generation of wrestling comics, and we may finally get the continued adventures of The Shockmaster ongoing that we’ve all been waiting so patiently for.

Editing, compiling, imaging, coding, logos & cat-wrangling by Ambush Bug
Proofs, co-edits & common sense provided by Sleazy G

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