Joe Hallenbeck here. Glad some of you liked my comments on the first list(BTW, my lawyers will be contacting some of you nominees out there that felt your rights have been violated). Before I get to the rest of the noms, let me just tell you this:
HIGH NOON FUCKIN' ROCKS!!!! I just finished watching Zinneman's masterpiece for the upteenth time and I tell ya...the damn thing just keeps on getting better and better after repeat viewings(Please -- for the love of GOD -- will someone release Tiomkin's awesome score?!!!). I know Cameron must feel like Marshal Kane right about now...no one in town would back him up. No one would stand by his side knowing they may get killed in the outcome. A bunch of pussies they are. Our hero, JC, stands out in th middle of that dusty road, waiting for the Frank Miller's of the world to ride into town and blow his movie away...destroying it critically and financially...but wait! -- Good Ole JC comes out, guns blazing, and manages to kick some ass and pull in some bank. The critical acclaim(or lack thereof) didn't harm him too much. Now, with 14 noms(should've been 16) our hero, JC, stands tall...but he still has one more obstacle in his way...THE ACADEMY AWARDS!!! Will JC ride off into the sunset with Grace Kelly(or, in his case, the lovely Linda Hamilton), or will the Frank Miller's of Hollywood stand in his way and gun him down in the middle of the Red Carpet at the Shrine? We'll see....
Best Art Direction:
Where the hell is 5th Element?!!!! Fuckin Academy!
Gattaca - I've pulled better art direction out of my stool samples.
Kundun - Like a Supermodel -- Pretty to look at, but empty inside.
LA Confidential - Great looking movie, but 'tain't gonna win.
Men In Black - Give me a break!
Titanic - Yet another win(and rightfully so) for this epic.
Best Cinematography:
I hated the Postman, but I thought it was a great looking flick. Better looking than Wings of the Dove anyways.
Amistad - I don't think so.
Kundun - Could pull off the win. It was a great looking piece of...never mind.
LA Confidential - Could also pull off the win. I'd give it to this film, but...
Titanic - ...the Academy will give it to this one. I think that's unfortunate because most of the beautiful shots were CG.
Wings of the Dove - They always have to have one of these movies nominated. Hell, Event Horizon was better looking than this. Start looking at Sci-Fi films, amigos! A lot more thought goes into those films than in Period Pieces!
Costume Design:
Once again...WHERE THE HELL IS 5TH ELEMENT?!!!!
Amistad - No.
Kundun - If the Academy is going to give Kundun anything it will be for Cinematography.
Oscar and Lucinda - No way in hell. No one even saw this puppy. I was shocked it was nominated.
Titanic - Yeah, baby! Yet another one.
Wings of the Dove - Been there. Seen that.
Best Documentary:
I haven't a friggin' clue. I'm going with Spike and 4 Little Girls. Personally, the Documentary Branch of the Academy is dead in my eyes. They died a long time ago when they failed to recognize Roger and Me. They can all burn in Hell as far as I'm concerned. I wouldn't even piss on them if they were on fire. DIE, DOCUMENTARY BRANCH, DIE!!!!
Short Subjects(Documentary, Live Action, and Animation):
No offense to the people involved with these produtions, but no one gives a fuck who wins. They should do these awards at the Tech Ceremony instead of wasting everyone's time at the ACTUAL Awards Show. They would save at least a half hour in the show time. Plus, haven't you ever noticed that these winners take the longest with their speeches? They know this would be their only shot of capturing an Award and they take advantage of it. Sit down and shut the fuck up! Let Billy do a few more Lewinsky jokes instead of having people present these lame ass awards!
Best Editing:
Sweet Hereafter should've been nominated in leiu of the two dramadies(and I'm not referring to the one with Ford).
Air Force One - This is about the only thing good in the movie(this and Jerry's score). What a pathetic excuse for an action flick. If this would have come out in the Reagan Era 80's I would've bought this lame ass movie, but in the more cynical, realistic 90's it just didn't do it for me. And that ending...I don't know what looked worse on screen -- that plane crash or Dean Stockwell's performance?
As Good As It Gets - I loved the film, but come on!
Good Will Hunting - Ditto as above.
LA Confidential - Great job, but like all the other categories this movie and Titanic are in...always a bridesmaid and never the bride.
Titanic - Once again...DID YOU SEE THE FUCKIN MOVIE?!!!
Best Foreign Film:
While this branch is not as fucked up as the Documentary one it's still not that great.
To be honest with you, I haven't seen any of these films...nor do I intend to. 4 Days in September is the one I've heard a lot of good things about so I'm going with this one.
Best Make-Up:
Once again...Where's 5th Element?!!!
Men in Black - God, I hope not.
Mrs Brown - Give me a fucking break!
Titanic - Yet another! Don't forget people -- Make Up doesn't mean scary, cool, gorey shit. It means hair styling and other beautifying techniques. The Make Up crew for Titanic did a suberb job capturing the looks and and styles of the time. Plus, Old Rose ain't as old in real life as she is in the movie. If Ed Wood could win, then the big "T" will win as well.
Best Dramatic Score:
First off, let me just say they nominated the wrong scores for the right composers. Jerry should've got a nod for The Edge instead of LA Con. Johnny should've got one for 7 Years...NOT AMISTAD! And Danny...well this bastard should've gotten nominated for everything else he's ever done instead of his shitty Good Will Hunting score!
Personally, I would've nominated T. Newman's Oscar and Lucinda and Doyle's haunting and depressing Donnie Brasco instead of Good Will and Glass's annoying Kundun. But, what the hell do I know?
That leaves us with the winner and my last nominee:
Titanic.
I'm a raging Horner fan, but even I didn't care for the score that much. I would've rather seen him win for Glory, Aliens, Rocketeer, Willow, Field of Dreams, Braveheart or a slew of others instead of his Enya-esque score for Titanic. But, I'd rather see him win for something than for nothing at all.
Best Comedy/Musical Score:
Thank God they divided the score category in two because if I would've seen Menken win one more award I would've wretched!(although, ironically enough, his Hunchback score, which I think is his best work, didn't win at all.)
I also want to add....
GO DANNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anastasia - the score was better than the songs, but that's not saying much.
As Good As It Gets - I like Zimmer, but this score was mediocre at best.
The Full Monty - The winner! It will get the "Il Postino Award". They want to give it something and this is the only thing they can give it that won't make people 1) Laugh their ass off....or 2) Piss them off.
Men in Black - Not one of Danny's best, but I'd love to see him walk off with something.
My Bset Friend's Wedding - One of these days James will win. Unfortunately, he won't come March 23.
Best Song:
Let's face it -- They all basically suck. The one that sucks the least, "My Heart Will Go On", will win. 'Nuff Said!
Sound:
Air Force One - Great sound(especially at the Dome in Hollywood), but this will get crushed by that pesky ocean liner.
Contact - ONE NOM?!!! It should've received at least 4(sound, sound f/x, f/x and actress), but no more. Good movie with a shitty ending(South Park hit the nail right on the head last week). Great sound, won't win.
Con Air - Headache inducing!
LA Confidential - Awesome sound, but no win.
Titanic - Like anything else has a shot? Chalk up another.
Sound F/X Editing:
Take a wild guess?
Face/Off - Awesome sound f/x. Won't win. At least it was nominated for something.
The 5th Element - Good sound f/x, but won't win.
Titanic - Hot Dog! We have a weiner!!!
Visual Effects:
Like the Category above -- WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE ONLY 3 SLOTS AVAILABLE?!!!! For the love of God, open two more, you dick-fucks!!! F/X are more important in most movies nowadays than the damn script(a sad, but true statement)! I can think of 20 worthy nominess that can fill the other two slots! Change your fucking rules and open up 2 more GODDAMN SLOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lost World - Give me a break! There was nothing new or exciting in this flick. Out of all the movies released last year that had great f/x you nominate this one? You dumb-fucks!
Starship Troopers - Amazing f/x won't help this puppy take home the gold. They must be revolutionary and amazing...something we haven't seen before. That's where the winner fits in.
Titanic - This is the only sure award for the night for Titanic. Truly amazing f/x work. Even those asswipes who hate the movie(DIE, KENNETH TURAN OF THE LA TIMES....DIE, YOU DUMBASS, KNOW-NOTHING, TALENTLESS, MINDLESS, DICKLESS, HACK SON OF A BITCH!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) would have to agree.
I, for one, am looking forward to seeing Titanic and Mr. Cameron collect all these awards(12 in all...realistically 10 or 11, unfortunately). Way back in August(as some of you may remember), I had the opportunity of meeting Cameron after the test screening of Titanic. I only talked to him for a mere second.
I told him he should clear off his mantle and make room for a couple of those Academy Awards. He turned to me and replied, "I doubt it. The movie is too popcorn for the Academy's taste." I knew he was wrong then and I know he's wrong now. I can't wait to meet him again so I can say four simple words:
"I TOLD YOU SO."
T.T.F.N.,
Joe Hallenbeck
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