Well, Egypt finally speaks up. Father Geek knew there was a film industry there. This column is full of cool info folks and our good old Doc has it for you every Friday morning just like clockwork.

DR.SOTHA here, and I would like to wish Sister Satan & LOBO the very best for their new creation to the world, and insist that he visit Africa in the not too distant future. I was a little perturbed that Fathergeek didn't consult me first to do the delivery, but when he explained that I was in Africa and he was in Austin, logistically it just wasn't possible. Maybe another time.

There's nothing quite like a good screenplay before I go into a major operation, it's like a good cup of green tea before bondage ummm did I say bondage, I meant sleep. Where am I going with this, oh yeah, African storytellers I would be overjoyed at the prospect of evaluating your material on this column, should you show promise. So send me your opuses to AfricaAICN@hotmail.com ...

Busty Nurse, the medicine please...

SOUTH AFRICA

* South African actress ALICE KRIGE, memorable for having played opposite Mickey Rourke in Barbet Schroeder's "Barfly", has two projects on the go. The first titled THE LITTLE VAMPIRE based on Angela Sommer-Bodenburg best selling novel. Ulrich Edel (T.V veteran of "OZ" and "Homicide Life on the Street") is attached to direct with Jonathan Lipnicki (Jerry Mcguire), Rollo Weeks and Richard E. Grant (Withnail & I) set to star.

The second project THE CALLING by writer/director Richard Caesar is a science fiction thriller, that has a woman doing her best to help prevent the apocolypse. Laura Harris (II)(The Faculty), Richard Lintern and Nick Brimble round out the cast.

* MALUNDE is about a young black boy who is struggling to make ends meet, he meets an Afrikaans man, left behind by the new regime, an unexpected bond is forged between the two, as they set out to rekindle their hopes of a better future. Stefanie Sycholt scripted, and will direct with shooting to take place in South Africa and Holland.

* English screenwriter Brian Tilley is developing PACKAGE DEAL: "When a Scotsman vacating in Durban, South Africa falls in love with a beautiful Indian lady, he is sucked into a taut conspiracy, involving methodical scam artists". (Think Mamet's "The Spanish Prisoner"). Shooting is expected to take place in the UK and South Africa.

* Ross Devenish (Boesman & Lena - the 70's version) has adapted Marguerite Poland's best selling novel titled "SHADES". Set in the late 19th Century, a priest from England is sent to the mission of St. Mathhias just before the Anglo Boer War, he is aware of a sense of foreboding that leads to tragedy and bloodshed. (Merchant/Ivory anyone?)

* STONE COLD SHUFFLER from American scribe Kolton Lee concerns a down on his luck boxer cum gambling addict in Johannesburg, who keeps landing up at the wrong place at the wrong time, mayhem ensues as he tries to manipulate all the opposing forces to land up with the money and the girl. (That's what we need a South African version of "Lock, Stock. -- DR. SOTHA)

* TAKING THE RAP is in development at Fruitcake Films about a bakery owner who makes and bakes his delicacies with marijuana. His business begins to sky rocket (no pun intended) after his clientele begin to grow, until he eventually monopolizes the local market. It's known fact that in this little village, marijuana has been legalized for over a year, so the authorities go out of their way to try and reinstate the law, to once and for all bring back fair trade. (Damn this is a cool premise - DR. SOTHA). Adon Kyrus is shaping up to direct.

* A live web chat has been arranged with The Mummy himself, Arnold Vosloo. It will be held on Wednesday July 19th at 12:30 pm EST (or 1730 BST-British Summer Time), for 1 hour. The url is: www.uip.com/mummychat A FAQ with Arnold and his wife Sylvia will be posted on my web site prior to the chat and I suggest everyone take a look to get acquainted with Arnold and avoid duplication of questions. Special Thanks to Sylvia Vosloo, Geoff Freeman and Carlos Antonini for helping me to organize the event! Visit Arnold Vosloo Resource Page www.members.home.net/abletree (Thanks Lou)

* The Encounters 2 - South African International Documentary Film Festival closed on 1 July with the screening of "Waiting for Harvey" directed by Stephen Walker and "Battu's Bioscope" directed by Andrzej Fidyk. e.tv has commissioned three documentaries from the Close Encounters Documentary Film Laboratory which ran concurrently with the Festival. The three films will be screened at next year's Encounters Festival. They are "Coal Yard Boys" by Sello Molefe, "Women Behind the Wheels" by Margo Fleiser and "The Battle" by Claude Wittwen. (Send me your reviews - DR. SOTHA)

* M-Web Events are showcasing the movies and videos of aspiring filmmakers online during the Standard Bank National Arts Festival. Viewers can see the movies live and vote for their favourite. Visit THEIR SITE to see these flicks.

NORTH AFRICA

* Finally a whisper from EGYPT, "Feta" sent me a list of titles to acquaint myself with the culture and intricacies of the land. I tried to do some research on each, and this is what I found..."Al Abwab al Moghlaka" directed by Atef Hetata, this is the plot synopsis I got from the imdb: The movie is a balanced story about a adolescent boy, living with his mother, who is a widow. in contemporary Egypt in which the fundamentalists gain influence. The characters are diverse but none of them is a stereotype. For Europeans Egyptian actors are quickly "over-acting", but in this movie they are quiet and real persons. The story is developing and so are the characters. The taboo in Moslim-countries about fundamentalism is seriously touched and in this story logically connected with the search of life of an adolescent in a country where sexuality is not yet a subject to talk about between mother and son. I've admired the director and the actors for this sensible movie.

"Ard al-Khof" (Land of Fear) Directed by Daoud Abdel Sayed is a thriller that found a theatrical release in various European countries, yet seems untraceable in Africa ironically. "Feta" recommended it highly...can anyone tell me where I could get hold of this (or even sent to me would be nice).

"Autre, L'" (The Other) Directed by Youssef Chahine with Nabila Ebeid, Mahmoud Hemida, Hanane Turk and Hani Salama starring, concerns a romance between a prince and a subdued girl, with terrorism added for good effect. Chahine also directed a film in 1997 called "Le Destin" that has been praised by critics across the continent. (Let's hear more about these promising storytellers---send me info - DR. SOTHA).

"Pleasure Market" Directed by Samir Seif starring Mahmoud Abdel Aziz, won several awards at last years Cairo Film Festival, including one for best actor for Aziz. If anyone out there on the great big continent has seen this, your thoughts would be most welcome.

Excellent, the ball is rolling. Egypt---you will be heard.

* "Quartier Mozart" Directed by Jean-Pierre Bekolo of Cameroon origin, is the story of 48 hours in the life of a working class neighborhood in Yaounde, the capital of Cameroon. As in Touki Bouki, director Bekolo is attempting to connect with Africa's young urban population. The film explores the sexual politics of the neighborhood through both male and female perspectives. With the help of a sorceress, a schoolgirl enters the body of a young man so that she can discover for herself the real "sexual politics" of the quarter.

* "Tilaï" a 1990 film Directed by Idrissa Ouedraogo, from Burkina Faso, was the winner of the Special Jury Prize at Cannes 1990, director Ouedraogo's follow-up to the widely fêted Yaaba is a moving tale of honor and family ties on the plains of Burkina Faso. The story follows a man who returns home after two years to be told that his fiancée has been married off to his father. Secretly, the young man resumes his relationship with his new step-mother despite the fact that this incestuous liaison is punishable by death. Once discovered, the lovers narrowly escape to try to live happily ever after, and would were it not for ya tilaï, or code of honor. As in his earlier film Yaaba Ouedraogo contrasts the lively villages of his homeland with the empty open plains, painting all in gorgeous earth-colored hues and composing each scene without contrivance. The marvelous warm and relaxed performances are perfectly complemented by the sparse and poignant score of the great jazz musician, Abdullah Ibrahim. (Thanks to JOJO)

AFRICAN AMERICAN

* Some interesting African American news this week, the always outspoken Spike Lee, despises the current Mel Gibson movie "The Patriot" because he thinks the Revolutionary War epic downplays slavery. In a hostile and sarcastic editorial in the "Hollywood Reporter's" "Sound Off!" column, Spike states: "How convenient was it for screenwriter Robert Rodat to have Mel Gibson's character not be a slaveholder?... 'The Patriot' is pure, blatant American Hollywood propaganda. A complete whitewashing of history, revisionist history. While holding myself back from shouting at the screen, I kept wondering where are the slaves? Who's picking the cotton?" (Your thoughts in talkback folks - DR. SOTHA)

* I know this technically belongs in the coaxial section, but what the hell, Steve Harvey star of his own sitcom on the WB. Apparently, while waiting spotted a newspaper story that referred to the network's black-themed shows that were moving to Sunday night. The article failed to mention the names of the shows, which are "The Steve Harvey Show," "For Your Love" and "The Jamie Foxx Show'' and just referenced the color of the cast members. Harvey was quoted as saying, " I felt degraded at that moment. I felt un-American at that moment. I felt isolated. Why is there always this separation in the way that TV critics ever talk about us?" For more on this story visit THEIR SITE !

* And finally I believe congratulations are in order to the Wayan Brothers who soared to the top of the box office last weekend with their "gross-out" hit "Scary Movie". Going back to "In Living Color", a great skit modelled on Saturday Night Live, which fostered such box-office draws as Jim Carey and Jennifer Lopez, it's a wonder it took so long for them to pierce the public zeitgeist. My only reservation about the success of "Scary Movie" is the inevitable deluge of spoofs this will greenlight (no doubt, with at least half been toplined by Leslie "I will work for food" Nielson). Nevertheless, good on ya'.

AFRICAN COAXIAL

* South Africa did best in the Media section of the Cannes Lions International Commercials Festival which took place from 19 - 24 June. It won two Lions out of the 16 categories. Bester Burke D.Arcy (Cape Town) won the Best use of Television for its Ally McBeal commercial for Cosmopolitan Magazine. In the Best use of Mixed Media, the Cape Talk commercial won a Lion for Ogilvy & Mather Rightford Searle-Tripp & Makin (Cape Town). Ogilvy & Mather Rightford Searle-Tripp & Makin won in the Corporate Image category for the Volkswagen commercial. (Thanks to "Lili")

* Broadcast design and animation company Delapse has won 31 international and local industry awards for its innovative work. The most coveted award is the North American- based Broadcast Design Association (BDA) Gold Award for 'Total Package Design-On-Air' for SABC 2's 'Made in Africa' campaign. The BDA received 2 400 international entries this year. Delapse is the first South African company to win this award - one of only two GoldAwards presented in this category. At the recent National Television and Video Association's Avanti Awards, Delapse was a dominant force, winning two Gold, one Silver, two Bronze and 14 Craft Awards.

* Christian Lau and Antoinette Steinhobel from the Camera Guild have initiated a project called "The Film Fridge". They are collecting recans, shortends and other unused 35mm and 16mm film stock. Logical Designs has donated the use of a fridge in Cape Town in which the already collected 80 rolls of film are being stored. The film is to be used by any individual or group who are shooting on little or no budget. The film is given for free, with the proviso that the film is processed within a month or it is returned. "We will not give away film for use on budgeted commercials. The aim is to allow more ready access to a pool of film stock for developing and experimenting filmmakers.So far we are prepared to do dip tests at a small fee (R30), on a per shootbasis. Some of the stock is from two years ago, but we have a large portion from this year," says Lau.Contact (27) (0)82 693 8476.

* All you BUSH fans out there, the band secretly performed to 800 specially invited guests at the Pyramid in Turfontein. Their publicist told the press they were trying to emulate the Violent Flemmes indie-underground movement from the 70's. It certainly got South Africa talking, with pro and anti remarks being made by die hard fans in the press. My personal favorite "They fucked us, but why'd they have to fuck us so hard".

Answer to last weeks question was James Earl Jones - Darth Vader who played opposite Richard Harris in Cry the Beloved Country. No question this week, instead I thought I'd give you Afro Geeks 2 anagrams of a famous actress, it's her last name. Unscramble the letters and find the answer: HORNET or THRONE

That's it for this week palookas. Send me your success stories, limbs, breasts (real or otherwise),specimens, etc... to AfricaAICN@hotmail.com and my staff of fetching nurses will hop right on it.