Hey folks, Harry here. Once again, I bring forth... MOUTH, that seeker... the Paul Revere of AICN... "The Indies are Coming! The Indies are Coming!" Once again he's busy writing away about 3 jewels he's found amongst a heap of tapes. And like the glutton his friend Chunk is, he's asking for more. So there you go. You an indie filmmaker? Do you not have one single word about your friend anywhere? Want to start a bit of buzz about your film before it hits this festival or that? Need to find a friend with a serious pair of lungs? Well... Mouth is that orifice for you. Use him well!

Mouth Speaks about The Killing Zone, Some Place New, and The Meeting

Jerk Alert! Mouth here yet again, this time with a trio of treasures, this week's smattering of rich stuff. "Why three?" you ask. "Shut up Mouth, you're slacking off, all you have to do is watch our movies and you can't even do that right!" Well, all you film makers out there in aint-it-cool-land, the steady influx of tapes to the Goondocks is slowing down. That's right, either you've all sent me something already, (which I don't rightly believe) or you're hesitating to send them in.

I get emails every so often asking, "If you think my movie sucks, are you going to tell everyone about it?" or "I sent you a movie, but now I'm afraid you're going to tell everyone how bad it is..." See, here's how it works. I'm a treasure hunter at heart. I'm following an old map with my gaggle of Goonies, desperately trying to find the rich stuff of indie film out there. The Gold at the end of the film shoot. The Diamonds in the rough, the films to be rescued from refuge within the refuse out there. So to answer the question for all to see, if I think your film sucks...NO, I won't tell anyone about it. It goes over there in the little corner of Mikey's attic with the other relics to be reviewed later by Chunk, Brand, Data, and Stef. Just because I don't like it on first viewing doesn't mean I won't pick it up later and take another look. This is also not to say that I've seen everything so far that's come my way, I need to space these tapes out just in case I don't get any more...So send your rich stuff in...I promise, I may be the Mouth...but I won't bite.

(Luckily, the producers were kind enough to send me a screen capture. This is Michael Palmer. Oh, yeah...we're on the wrong end of that gun.)

"The Killing Zone" comes to us from The Seventh Twelfth Collective LTD, direct from the UK. Produced by Julian Boote, and directed brilliantly by Ian David Diaz, this 64 minute feature is about an assassin named Michael Palmer (played by Padraig Casey), who works for a ultra-secret, ultra-illegal organization called the syndicate. I know what you're thinking, all right, another hit-man movie? Haven't we seen enough of that? No, you haven't...because Palmer is an ASSASSIN, not a hit man, and yes, there IS a difference. A hit man will work for anyone, for a simple buck. Kind of the low man on the ever-upward spiraling ladder of professional killers. Michael Palmer, however, is the creme de-la-f**ing-creme of assassins, the Syndicate's top man.

He gets his daily instructions from a call on a pay phone booth, with the directions and other information pertinent to the current killing zone taped to the side of the phone, keeping the syndicate completely anonymous. He's done this for a long time, and finally he feels he's run his course. He's been a machine for so long, when he finally finds some ounce of caring in his new found relationship, he'll do anything to prolong it, he wants to FEEL again so badly, he'll do anything to keep it...even if that means he'll be on the run all the way to America.

I have to tell you folks out there, Diaz has crafted one of my favorite new-found characters here. Palmer is SUCH a bad ass...because you really believe from what he says and does what a supreme top level killer he is. Maybe it's that cold stare from deep within his Clark Kent exterior...the guy that maybe wouldn't be so bad a chap if it wasn't for that gun against your head. When you run across someone as methodical, clean, and cool as Palmer, you may never know what he's thinking or who he'll have to kill next. Maybe it is you that's targeted, and maybe it's not, but the idea of either is scary enough to get you talking, if that's what the syndicate wants. If you're after him, don't tell him why. Don't give him a second glance, he will kill you. I promise. This is the Killer you want on YOUR side. He'll stay cool when the blood starts to flow. And maybe this guy is such a bad ass because...see, later on in the film, when he finally loses his cool, you KNOW...oh well, NOW, at this very precise moment in time, the shit HAS hit the fan. Palmer has now officially lost it, and we've seen him kill several people so far without so much as a twitch....so what's next? This film comes to a conclusion, the idea is that Palmer's story is over...but I want to see more of him...much more.

Maybe one of the reasons you'll like it (and you will) is because when you watch The Killing Zone, you imagine THIS is what the James Bond series should have become in the late 80's...return to Britan, have Bond deal with the weaving web of professional killers in Her Majesty's actual home land, instead of losing his license to kill and go traipsing off to America. Hey, if there's anyone out there listening...LET THESE GUYS DO A BOND FLICK!!!

But the cool stuff doesn't stop there. This movie looks great. The settings contribute to the mood in such a positive way. These guys didn't just say, hey I've got a flat, and you've got a flat, let's just film there. NO WAY. When the Syndicate sends Palmer in, the locale ranges from the dirtiest warehouse basement in the UK to offices of the most proper political figures around. These backgrounds are a wonderful template upon which to craft this masterpiece.

I can't say enough about this flick. It's got well written, believable dialogue, that keeps you interested and intrigued without getting banal or boring. There are self-referential jokes that AREN'T thrown into your face...can you imagine that in a Hollywood film these days...actual subtle humor? I can't even count the jokes in, say, "Gone in 60 Seconds" that beat me over the head with a brick each time, screaming , "HEY THIS A JOKE, LAUGH AT ME WHY DON'T YOU, C'MON THIS IS FUNNY!!!" Well, this film doesn't do that...and I LOVE it.

Sadly, it seems the production's native country hasn't done a thing for the makers of the film. Nada. I have been in contact with the filmmakers, Ian David Diaz and Julian Boote, and it seems as though "The Killing Zone" will have some sort of video release in the US, with which I wish them the best. I'll keep everyone posted on this, because this is one UK indie you don't want to miss.

Check out the Killing Zone website for more information: www.killingzone.co.uk The Seventh Twelfth collective can be reached via email at: admin@seven12collective.co.uk

Have you ever wanted to just pack up your belongings, sell what you couldn't carry, and just go? Maybe to another city, maybe to another state, maybe just to get to..."Some Place New"?

Then you have the basic premise of this film by Nuvalde films, written and edited by Zack and Wyatt Phillips, Directed by Zack Phillips and produced by Wyatt Phillips.

Jay Sefton and Paul Conrad play Ian and Carter McQuaid, two brothers, who have decided to leave their current home of Austin, TX, pack up their Volkswagen microbus, and take the long haul for Los Angeles. Stef and I saw this film last week, and we were amazed.

I love believable characters in film. So many times, I see a movie about characters I'm supposed to care about, but I just don't. Either the character development is poor, the acting is bad or unbelievable, and I just don't buy it. That is not the case with Some Place New. Whether the McQuaids are loosely based on the Phillips brothers, I don't know, but these guys are so believable that I think it's possible. Then again, I also believe that Zack and Wyatt are a great writing team, if this film is any indication, and I bet it is.

The cast of Some Place New is small, but that's OK. So many film makers starting out think they need to make three hour epics, with twenty characters, tracking their movements precisely for generations. Well, that is how films get emotionally unattached; if you can't focus enough to make us care about your characters, either don't make the film or make the cast smaller. This is not to say these guys couldn't make a film with a larger cast, I'm just saying that I really enjoy the fact that the McQuaids are so polished that I believe who they are and why they take their courses of action throughout the film.

See, the brothers have sold everything they own and are firmly relocating to LA. This means every red cent or item they possess is on them or in their van, as they roll across the desert countryside. So when all their money is stolen at gunpoint at a small Stop'n'rob along the way, they have little resources left. They're stuck in the desert, just them, their belongings, and the bus. Taking stock of what they own, they think about the fact that they DO own a gun. Upon further evaluating the robbery they witnessed, the McQuaids realize they could probably do a better job than the local hayseeds that stole their wallets.

So when Ian and Carter decide to rob a convenience store, they don't do it because it's cool, they don't do it because they want to hurt anyone, they do it so they can live, and complete their goal of traveling to LA. This doesn't mean they feel good about it, and perhaps that's the part I like best. These guys actually have a conscience, a believable one at that. So many movies have characters that break the law that either try to glorify thievery, or murder, or whatever, but Some Place New doesn't do that...it's two brothers trying to get where they need to go. When they talk about what they're doing, and how they plan on the robberies in the future, the dialogue is written and delivered excellently.

In addition to the plot, the dialogue, and the editing, I love the scenery in this film. Perhaps I'm a sucker for the south, but having lived my entire life in Texas, you just can't beat the rolling hills or deserty flatlands when travelling 60 mph in a VW microbus, or a VW bug, for that matter...and now that we mention the whole VW phenomenon, there's one bit of conversation in the film I have to comment on, since it struck me so personally. Eventually in the movie, the brothers pick up a female hitch-hiker, Amber, who they quickly befriend and take along with them. At one point, one of the brothers relates a story about a girl he dated who owned a VW bug. He talks about his relationship with her and how one day he realized, "She loved it more than she loved me." This is an odd phenomenon, but I completely relate. I don't know what it is, but this tends to happen to bug owners, and I still couldn't tell you, even after 4 years off-and-on dating this girl, why this is the case, but these old tempermental beasts have some sort of strange, controlling hold over their owners...even if sex in the back seat IS uncomfortable.

"Shut up, Mouth!!" Oh..sorry...just taking that stroll down memory lane there, hey, it's not my fault she was over Six Feet Tall...*ahem* but, anyway, I guess all this was to make a point about the writing of this film, it makes you think about things you haven't thought of in years, like a good long conversation with a bunch of your old friends might. Scattered throughout the movie are conversations about subjects that will make you think, or help you to remember a bit of your own life from the past, whether that's how sexy (or slutty) you thought Daisy Duke was, or how much you actually miss that "Bug Lover" out there somewhere.

I don't know how half of these shots were filmed, because there's no cheesy bluescreen shots here, these guys are actually driving across the country, it looks like. How the hell they did that with the camera crew in the way, and have the shots look this good, I guess I'll never know. But suffice it to say, the camera work was very impressive, especially for most of them being outside a moving vehicle looking in.

I don't know what the distribution plans are for Some Place New, but I believe the makers are submitting it to film festivals currently. If you're a judge on one of these festivals, don't let Some Place New pass you by. Take a good look, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Oh, and if you guys happen to see this review, please send me a Nuvalde Films email, I don't currently have one; however, Nuvalde films be reached by snail mail at:

Nuvalde Films

P.O. Box 1433

Austin, TX 78767

The Meeting is a short comedic film of exceptional quality, brought to us by Neptune Salad Entertainment. For its seven minutes, it has an above-average amount of laughter. How many of you have ever been in any sort of corporate culture? One where they have meetings all the time? The slightest problem occurs within the strict, rigid corporate world, and you are ushered quickly into a meeting where all anyone does is yell at each other and blame other departments for the problems, then everyone gets tired of everyone else's BS and all parties leave the meeting, no crises avterted or plans of action created?

The Meeting is about one of those companies. The film begins, and four managers are sitting at a square table..arguing. Take out is present on the table, so the idea is present that these managers are in this meeting for the long haul. These guys are not talking or conversing, or working on primary action items, but yelling at one another, desperately trying to extricate their company from the problems it's having. The CEO decides for a different approach...a la Lord of the Flies, he decides to give the managers in the meeting a speaking piece, where if someone holds the piece, they and only they can speak. He opens his briefcase and withdraws...a small mechanical puppy.

Whoever holds the puppy can speak. And to get from person to person...the puppy must be wound up...and released on the table. Barking with each step, it progresses to the next speaker...Yip...Yip...Yip...

Now this may not sound as great on paper, but believe me, it's hilarious. First of all, the comedic pacing and placement of shots is extremely well-done. The filmmakers make a plain, square room fun to watch, the way each character is framed and shot from unique angles. I usually don't like a lot of weird, artsy-esque angles in movies, mainly because usually, they're too much and end up detracting from the film. Here, the setting is plain enough that it works, and adds something to the overall effect.

Besides the positive technical achievements of this film...the simple idea of a yipping wind-up puppy scurrying across the meeting table of standard corporate culture..is just plain funny. Then, complete hilarity ensues when the managers rebel against the puppy and create a virtual wind-up war on the table, spilling the take-out food and wreaking havoc amongst the figures and papers.

Again, I'm not sure as to the distribution plans of this film. Brand mentioned that he had seen this one on the internet before, perhaps on www.ifilm.com or www.atomfilms.com. But if you see it, surely check it out. What better things do you have to do in seven minutes?

You can contact Neptune Salad entertainment at: jay_bog@msn.com

Well, Goonies, that's all the rich stuff I can hold this week. Send us your treasure, I know it's out there. Heck, readers keep threatening to send me their porno, but I haven't even recieved any of that yet...c'mon, help a poor Mouth out... Evidently, getting Harry to do the Truffle Shuffle wasn't torture enough. I've got Corey Haim locked in a basement here...he wants out, but I won't let him out until I get EVERYONE'S indie films... Perhaps I can find something awful to do to him....maybe I'll cut off a toe and put a scan of it on the site....hmmm...

Before I go, an update from last week... Roy Unger's (creator of Requiem) email is: UNGERFILM@aol.com

Send your independent films to: