Hey folks, Harry here. I'm getting set to catch a plane headed for Los Angeles to do an appearance on THE LATE LATE SHOW with Craig Kilborn. Why am I going on?

As always, I have a theory about this.

As most of you are well aware, on Friday late night, this Friday there is a departing of a beloved co-host of that Barbarian show. There has been massive promotion and media coverage of this opposing show.

The producers of Kilborn's show knew that they had a true network ratings battle that night. That they would have to do something amazing, stupedous.... something that had never been done on Late Night Broadcasting. They would have to bring in one of the BIGGEST people they could think of to tip the scales in their favor.

So they called, Harry "The Andy Slayer" Knowles!

And I, knowing that this would take place on the 230th birthday of the evil genius, MORIARTY.... decided to leave my oasis of cool to celebrate the dear Professor's birthday, and to DESTROY ANDY RICHTER!!!!

Long have I trained for this, even now I have spies at NBC ready to blow their satellites, cut their cables and blow their power generators... thus destroying Andy's last night on CONAN's show. Instantly millions of befuddled television watchers will stare at the static upon their screen. Rubbing their heads, wondering... "What happened? Is this a joke?"

After 2 minutes of static, they will... en masse CHANGE THE CHANNEL and find me, delivering Moriarty's World Wide Domination Speech.... Declaring on this... the 230th anniversary of his birth.... That the earth will now bow down and worship him, because I, HARRY KNOWLES SAY SO!!!

So... Do you really want to be watching static on NBC? No... you don't. So just go ahead and put your channel on CBS, because that's where you are going to end up anyway! Soon you will discover the AWESOME POWER OF AICN!!!!

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!