Big X took a break from planning out the when, whats, hows and whys of the grand tunneling project he dreamed up. Alas... no one knows where or how the Big X pulls his operations, but he did get in to a screening of VIRUS. This screening was a roughcut, and there may be some major changes between this screening and the one you may see. So take that into consideration when you are reading his review. Here's the BIG X's teeny review....
Hey Harry, you can call me Big X (as in "The Great Escape"). I just got back from one of the most derivative sci-fi crapolas of the '90's called "Terminator", no wait, I mean "Alien", no my mistake, I mean "Star Trek: The Changling", wait, "Virus". Yea, that's it, "Virus".
As you may have heard, Jamie Lee Curtis and Big Bad Billy Baldwin play a couple of generic salty...salty?...ship hands who end up on a deserted Russian ship with an insane Donald Sutherland (sporting a Scottish, Irish, North Canadian? accent) and the chick from "The Kiss". They spend 90 fun filled minutes being chased by Borgs and Number 5 from "Short Circuit".
Donald acts evil for evil sake. There is one character (for lack of a better word) whose entire characterization is that he has a tattoo on his face. The tital wave/typhoon effects look as convincing as in "Godzilla vs.The Sea Monster". And did I mention that they completely rip off the Borg (including the flashlight eye)?
I've seen some bad sci-fi screenings before (can anyone say "Event Horizon?) but this is the most uncreative, derivative dreck to bore me since...since...since...it hurts to think.
The only thing to make this worse would have been Kevin Costner starring and directing. Goodbye for now.
