I’m not a FAMILY GUY guy. I was a fan of the show back in the day before it got cancelled by Fox, because no one was watching it, back when it was still fresh and creative. However, over the years, FAMILY GUY has become a parody of itself – a bunch of random sequences strung together relying on their absurdity for laughs (“Hey, it’s like that time Chewbacca won the Miss America Pageant… cue animated visuals of Chewbacca actually winning the Miss America Pageant) while the rest of the show follows some thin plot to get through the half-hour with these now all-too-familiar characters. On top of that, I’m not driven at all to give it another chance, because it’s the last thing I want to do when handfuls of people are always trying to tie FAMILY GUY into some real-life situation. (“Oh, this is like that episode of FAMILY GUY. Did you see the one…?”) So just knowing the creative force behind the show, Seth MacFarlane, was in the same capacity for TED had me a little apprehensive about a film featuring a talking bear, because I didn’t know if I’d find it funny. If it required the same sense of humor that appreciates FAMILY GUY, then I’d be dead in the water.
But surprisingly, TED is full of laughs, whether subtle or overtly offensive (the running list of those it targets includes Jews, Christians, women from Boston, gays, blacks, ignorant white people, people with Parkinson’s, the deceased cast members of the TV show DIFF'RENT STROKES, Iranians, Asians, Mexicans, 9/11, Muslims, Indians, rape victims, Brandon Routh and Taylor Lautner… and I’m sure I may have missed one or two), but, behind all the dirty, raunchy humor, there’s also a sweet story about friendship and about society’s pressures on people, particularly men, to leave behind childish things in order to grow up. Seth MacFarlene doesn’t just deliver a truly filthy comedy with enormous rewatchability, because in what’s amounted to another weak summer movie season, he’s also managed to put together one of the better films these hot months have seen.
In a prologue classily narrated by Patrick Stewart, we learn of a kid named John with no friends. In fact, not even the kids getting beat up in the neighborhood want to hang with him. That year, while all the other kids are getting Nintendos and Cabbage Patch Kids at Christmas, John lands a teddy bear, complete with voice box, at the age of 8, too lame to even realize that his gift kind of sucks. But he wishes for Teddy to come to life and be his best friend for life, and apparently nothing is more powerful than a little boy’s wish (Well, except for… you’ll see). The next morning, he’s got a walking, talking teddy bear, swearing to be his best friend for life.
After a short time as a celebrity – because how could America not go crazy for living teddy bear? – that includes a guest spot on Johnny Carson’s TONIGHT SHOW, we fast forward 27 years to a time when the cheerful kid with the chipper teddy aren’t doing so well. John (played by Mark Wahlberg) is waiting in line for a branch manager spot at his rental car company job, while Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) sits on the couch taking hits off his bong, drinking beers and contributing to the dead-end spot John’s life is in. About the only thing going for any of them is John’s gorgeous girlfriend Lori (fittingly played by the gorgeous Mila Kunis). She can look past John’s mediocrity, because he’s a charming guy who cares for her, makes her laugh and continues to surprise her. She can even look past his teddy bear, because she understands the value of their friendship. However, after an incident with some hookers and a bold game of Truth Or Dare, Lori is no longer able to accept this Thunder Buddies arrangement. In order for her four-year relationship with John to progress, Ted is going to have to move out, get a job, get his own place and become his own productive member of society.
As ludicrous as a living bear being accepted as normal seems, TED manages to establish the MacFarlane-voiced character as a part of the world it exists in. He doesn’t feel out of place and registers as a seamless entry, which is really important for TED working in the first place. If you can’t get past the talking bear, the movie is doomed, but not only does he feel as if he belongs the whole time, the way the other characters react to him as no big deal, even when it comes to him meeting new people for the first time, doesn’t call any further attention to what he really is on the surface.
Ted’s Peter Griffin voice is a little difficult to accept at first, particularly for someone who doesn’t like FAMILY GUY, but they poke fun in the most meta of ways at their similarities, and, as the movie draws you in with hard laughter, it tends to blend into the background, thinking about it less and less, so as to not allow any distraction from what’s developing as a really good flick.
Mark Wahlberg is at his comedic best here, flanked by MacFarlane and the game Kunis, who shows she’s more than capable of hanging with the boys again when it comes to the raunchy stuff (as seen in FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS). Wahlberg has already flexed his comedy muscles before in THE OTHER GUYS and THE HAPPENING, but clearly it was in preparation for his performance in TED. As an actor who can come across as incredibly intense at times, Wahlberg fully embraces TED’s off-the-wall responsibilities, whether saying “Fuck you” to thunder, leaping into a re-enactment of AIRPLANE!’s dance sequence or running through the trashiest female names he knows. However, beyond hitting each joke spot-on (there are few misses in the script, which is an enormous credit to MacFarlane, who co-wrote it with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild), Wahlberg also connects you emotionally to this man-child who is trying to be both loyal to his best friend and responsible to the love of his life. There’s a lovable sadness to John, as you enjoy watching his slacker behavior – that’s where a lot of the laughs come from – but you know it’s that which holds him back from having more with his woman.
As a geek, TED gets at you in a personal way, because I’m sure at one time or another, you were told to grow up and give up something you loved – whether it was video games, comic books, action figures, etc. Granted, those things are a lot more accepted now as adult hobbies or activities than they used to be, but there are still some people that don’t get it, who register those are childish behavior and an obstacle to you “growing up,” whatever that actually means. Ted is John’s childhood, or at least an embodiment of it that’s carried through into his adult life, and, while a balance needs to be maintained in order for him to accomplish certain things, one of TED’s underlying messages is that you don’t have to leave behind all of your past to have a future, especially not if it’s something that important to you. That’s a message I could easily identify with myself, and I think it’ll connect with a lot of people who’ve lived with those types of pushes in some aspect of their lives.
The third act turns a little bit predictable, especially with an extraneous side plot involving a stalker played by Giovanni Ribisi and his creepy son that’s only touched upon sparingly, so the film will later have a conflict to resolve. However, even those moments are able to generate some laughs, and are easily forgiven, because they wind up driving home how solid this friendship is between a boy and his bear.
TED is funny… like really fuckin’ funny… and if that’s what you’re looking for at the movies, you’re not going to find better right now. Jump at this opportunity with the warning label that it is an equal opportunity offender, so come wearing your big boy pants, knowing that everyone is going to be made fun of throughout the film’s duration. In that respect, TED doesn’t choose to play it safe with material, maybe only a little story, and it’s rare that we get films that show such balls these days. Those are the ones that need to be rewarded for taking chances, and TED earns its keep.
-Billy Donnelly
"The Infamous Billy The Kidd"
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