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‘Now You Are Truly Lost!!’
Hercules Says Do Not Miss Tonight’s Naked, Crazy GAME OF THRONES!! Discuss Also MAD MEN, GIRLS, VEEP, 60 MINUTES, KILLING, METALOCALYPSE, ONCE, A Return Of SHERLOCK!! AMAZING RACE & BITCHES Finales!! SWEEPS DAY 11!!

Last week. On "Game of Thrones."

Smokezilla stabbed Renly and Margaery expalined she wanted to be THE Queen, Stannis decided to proceed to King’s Landing without Melissandre, Tyrion got called a demon monkey and discovered an alchemist churning out wildfire for the Lannisters, Prince Theon got little respect from his crew, Arya bore the cup of Tywin Lannister and learned she can kill three people with her mouth, Brienne joined Team Stark, Bran dreamed the sea came to Winterfell, The Night’s Watch devised a plan to kill deserter and wildling leader Mance Rayder, and Dany met a warlock, got a marriage proposal and learned of King Robert Baratheon’s demise.

HBO says of tonight’s “The Old Gods And New”:

Theon (Alfie Allen) completes his master stroke. In King’s Landing, the Lannisters send Myrcella (Aimee Richardson) from harm’s way in the nick of time. Arya (Maisie Williams) comes face to face with a surprise visitor; Dany (Emilia Clarke) vows to take what is hers; Robb (Richard Madden) and Catelyn (Michelle Fairley) receive crucial news; Qhorin (Simon Armstrong) gives Jon (Kit Harington) a chance to prove himself. Written by Vanessa Taylor; directed by David Nutter.

* Stannis Baratheon and Jamie Lannister do not appear this week.

* Tyrion finds himself with more to worry about than wildfire this week.

* This is easily Theon’s biggest episode to date! BIG! His scenes are CRAZY and AWESOME.

* It’s a huge episode for Dany’s Dothraki too.

* We meet a spice king this week. I quite like him.

* Craster’s wives are long gone, but I suspect Jon Snow thinks a lot about his vow of celibacy this week.

* We learn a bit about Tywin Lannister’s dad this week.

* Something important is stolen.

* And, to bury the lead: Osha, the stunning wildling slavegirl who’s always hanging out with Bran and Hodor, gets very, VERY naked this week. Natalia Tena – who went clothing-free in 2005’s “Mrs. Henderson Presents” and a 2006 episode of the U.K. TV series “Afterlife,” failed to get naked in any way when she played Nymphadora in those Harry Potter movies.

 

Previously. On “Mad Men.”

Peggy Olsen decided to live in sin, Megan Draper almost singlehandedly recaptured the fleeing Heinz account, and Sally Draper glimpsed Marie Calvet fellating Roger Sterling. Sabrina Fair! Oh, and Ray Wise returned as Ed Baxter to explain why advertisers can no longer trust Don Draper. (It’s weird that Wise’s character is almost named Ted Baxter -- the man with Leland Palmer’s face now reminds me a lot of Ted Knight.)

No Betty. No Lane. I liked how the Howard Johnson’s episode casually foreshadowed the arrival of Megan’s parents. The scene with Pete Campbell and Ernie Calvet really drove home how Pete has grown into his job in the last six years. Martin Balsam’s fabulous daughter Talia (former wife of George Clooney; current wife of John Slattery) made her first appearance as Mona Sterling since 2009.

AMC says of tonight’s “Lady Lazarus”:

Peggy is irritated by a secret she has to keep. Pete covers for a friend and Don gets unexpected news.
 

“Big Brother 13” winner Rachel Reilly could also win “The Amazing Race” tonight. The CBS promo says “for the first time ever the finish line is not the end of the race.” Huh.

 

Next Sunday: the big “Survivor: One World” finale.

 

“Mad Men,” already renewed for next season, took a nasty dip last Sunday while “Game of Thrones” grabbed its first uptick of the season.

“The Good Wife,” already renewed for next season, closed out with a finale that drew a season low of 1.7. That was no help to “NYC 22,” which hit its own season low:

Sundays, Jan. 29-April 29, 2012
(Adults 18-49; repeats in gray; older weeks in parentheses)
3.0 (3.0) (1.1) (1.0) (2.8) (2.9) (2.9) (2.9) (3.4) (---) (3.1) (3.0) (---) (3.5) Once Upon A Time
2.8 (---) (2.2) (1.8) (2.5) (2.1) (2.8) (2.8) (2.8) (1.6) (2.8) (2.5) (1.1) (3.1) Family Guy
2.5 (---) (---) (---) (2.6) (2.6) (2.6) (2.6) (2.5) (---) (2.2) (1.8) (---) (---) Desperate Housewives
2.3 (2.6) (2.6) (2.5) (---) (2.6) (2.7) (2.9) (2.8) (2.2) (2.8) (---) (---) (---) The Amazing Race
2.3 (1.5) (2.3) (1.5) (1.7) (1.9) (2.4) (2.3) (2.5) (1.6) (2.6) (2.0) (0.8) (2.4) The Simpsons
2.0 (2.1) (2.2) (2.1) (1.8) (1.8) (1.8) (2.0) (2.3) (1.8) (2.6) (---) (---) (---) Celebrity Apprentice
1.9 (---) (1.9) (1.4) (1.7) (2.0) (2.1) (1.9) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Bob’s Burgers
1.9 (1.8) (1.8) (1.9) (2.0) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Game of Thrones
1.9 (0.9) (---) (---) (---) (1.6) (0.8) (---) (0.9) (3.3) (0.7) (1.0) (---) (0.6) NBA Basketball
1.8 (---) (2.1) (0.9) (1.2) (1.5) (1.5) (1.6) (1.5) (1.0) (1.2) (1.2) (0.8) (1.3) Cleveland Show
1.8 (---) (1.5) (1.5) (1.9) (2.1) (2.0) (2.3) (2.2) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) GCB
--- (---) (---) (1.7) (---) (2.1) (1.8) (2.1) (2.1) (1.1) (2.2) (---) (0.6) (2.3) CSI Miami
1.7 (1.9) (1.8) (1.3) (---) (1.8) (1.9) (1.7) (1.9) (---) (2.1) (---) (---) (2.2) The Good Wife
1.5 (1.4) (1.6) (1.0) (1.2) (1.2) (1.3) (1.4) (2.2) (---) (2.0) (2.0) (0.7) (1.9) AFH Videos
--- (---) (---) (1.5) (2.0) (2.0) (2.2) (2.2) (2.1) (1.5) (2.2) (1.8) (1.0) (2.4) American Dad
1.2 (1.4) (1.5) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) NYC 22
1.2 (1.5) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Real Housewives NJ
1.2 (1.8) (1.4) (2.2) (1.4) (2.3) (2.2) (1.7) (1.6) (1.3) (1.8) (2.8) (0.5) (1.5) 60 Minutes
1.1 (1.0) (0.9) (0.7) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Chopped
1.0 (1.2) (---) (1.1) (1.0) (1.3) (0.9) (1.2) (1.0) (1.2) (1.0) (1.1) (---) (1.3) Ax Men
0.9 (1.1) (0.9) (0.9) (0.8) (0.8) (0.9) (1.0) (1.2) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Army Wives
0.9 (1.1) (1.0) (0.9) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Client List
0.9 (0.9) (1.0) (0.9) (0.9) (---) (1.0) (1.0) (1.1) (---) (1.4) (---) (---) (---) Khloe & Lamar
0.8 (1.2) (1.3) (1.0) (1.0) (1.0) (1.1) (0.9) (1.0) (1.1) (---) (1.6) (---) (---) Dateline
0.8 (0.9) (0.9) (1.0) (---) (0.8) (1.0) (1.1) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Harry’s Law
0.8 (0.8) (0.8) (0.7) (0.6) (0.9) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Long Island Medium
0.7 (0.6) (0.5) (0.5) (0.5) (0.6) (0.5) (0.7) (0.5) (0.4) (---) (---) (---) (0.6) Cupcake Wars
0.7 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Fat Gypsy Wedding
0.7 (0.6) (0.6) (0.7) (0.6) (---) (0.6) (0.8) (0.9) (---) (1.0) (---) (---) (---) Ice Loves Coco
0.7 (0.9) (1.0) (1.0) (1.0) (1.2) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Mad Men
0.7 (0.9) (0.7) (---) (0.8) (0.7) (0.7) (0.6) (0.7) (---) (0.8) (0.7) (---) (1.1) Mob Wives
0.7 (0.9) (0.7) (0.5) (0.4) (0.7) (---) (0.5) (0.5) (---) (---) (---) (---) (0.7) Watch What Happens
0.6 (0.6) (0.6) (0.7) (0.7) (0.5) (0.7) (0.7) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Breakout Kings
0.6 (0.9) (0.8) (0.8) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Mythbusters
0.5 (0.6) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Veep
0.4 (0.6) (0.6) (0.6) (0.5) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) The Killing

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