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Harry's Oscar Coverage... to be updated throughout the award ceremony! All winners listed orderly now!

Hey folks, Harry here. I'll be updating throughout the Oscars, from right here at the Geek Headquarters' War Room... where we monitor the activities of the world. The reason, I'm doing this here, as opposed to in LIVE CHAT, is because here... it remains forever, whereas Chat is... temporary. SO... feel free to react with me in TALK BACK, and enjoy all the moments of idiocy and coolness together. I hope you enjoy this as much as the audience seemed to last year.

Harry Presents the 2nd Annual Harry Knowles coverage of the 72nd Academy Awards

Well, it seems that the powers that be have decided to possibly endanger this coverage. Austin has been declared a TORNADO WARNING zone. Also gigantic hail is supposed to be headed this way... However, do realize that Geek Headquarters are prepared and ready for this. Nothing will stop my coverage... except bathroom breaks!

Why is Ricky Martin on the OSCAR special of Barbara Walters...... oh... here's the FREQUENCY trailer. Is it just me, or can... COOL... Special paid preview of FREQUENCY on Saturday April 15th. You know what that means folks? That means NEW LINE has confidence in the film. I've got a 'feeling' about the film. Jennifer love Hewitt really looks like Audrey Hepburn in that AUDREY HEPBURN STORY thing. Hmmm.... Anyway, Ricky Martin doesn't belong on the OSCAR show... Personally, I would have brought on RICK BAKER.... what makes one of the most oscar adorned creators in Hollywood history, decide to put the industry behind him.... close his shop. Stop creating after THE GRINCH and THE KLUMPS.... What's going on? Ahhhh.... here comes Mike Myers.....

OH MY GOD.... Hearing Barbara Walters say.... BARBARA WAWAS was like the greatest thing I have ever seen. Myers' reaction.... what a geek out. I thought he was going to piss himself. That's great! Hmmmm.... Mike Myers is very interesting. I have to say I'm a bit envious of Moriarty's journey to the SPROCKET set.... hmmm... Barbara tries to hard to make people cry.That Mastercard ad with the guy breaking various things was.... pretty cool. 28 DAYS looks terrible. I don't think you could possibly drag me to watch THE VIEW.... ugh.... Here comes Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones....

Where does BarBara Walters get her information. Catherine Zeta Jones has remarkable dramatic talent? WHAT? Now listen... I love Catherine.... think she is gorgeous.... she might possibly have the potential for that statement... but she has not exhibited it yet. I do have to say they look happy as hell. RETURN TO ME, I've heard this is wonderful. I want to see it, but Saturday night, April 1st, I'll be doing the SUPERMAN festival at the Drafthouse and the last night of PHANTASM fun!!! Well... Barbara Walters is ending and man.... this was a pretty lackluster show...

Now the Oscars begin... this will be a state of conciousness experience... II hope you enjoy...Starting off with Madonna's VOGUE.... pretty cool idea actually. I really like this intro... various Oscar entrances and red carpet experiences ofover the history of time. Please excuse any of the spelling or mistypes.... I'm not watching the screen. 27 minutes of lame preshow.... ugh. How much you want to be that there won't be one good question... Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Man, Nicole Kidman is such a babe, and she looks utterly bored by this interview. God that dress is needing to come off. Cameron Diaz..... GOD, wow. She is like, look at that LOWCUT dress, amazing...Michael Caine is a hero. "I come and I lose." I love Michael is great. This three correspondent thing is... weird. Supporting Actor .... Hayley will win. Academy loves a great kid role. Ashley Judd, is adorable. Ugh... fashion talk. DAMN!!!! Ashley Judd is like getting down with the Little Debbie snack detail from THE INSIDER.... holy shit.Shaft was looking badass man.

That gap ad with the WEST SIDE STORY thing was weird and cool. This actor as kid thing is great. BLOCKBUSTER had a good ad. 17 minutes till ceremony. Kevin Spacey.... "Are you saying I have a nice ass?" I'd pay real money to watch Clint Eastwood coldcock that bastard. Come on... rear back and knock those teeth!!! SALMA HAYEK! She's my woman.... come to me Salma.... I love your sens of style Salma.... Marry me. Marry me. I love you Salma. Fat love is good love. Come to me my sweet. Yes, think of me. Mention your dream man... Harry Knowles..... SHIT! just as she was about to propose to me, they cut to Julianne Moore.... What a great actress. OHMIGOD.... they actually asked a question about a future film? They asked about HANNIBAL, and 'it all starts with the script.... blah blah blah." GO HAYLEY!!!! KEANU... Why did so many people like the Matrix. BECAUSE IT FUCKING ROCKED! and the KUNG FU!!! Two sequels.... ANOTHER FUTURE QUESTION! COOL! Somewhere A.B. King is exploding.... ARNOLD!!! Play WITH WINGS AS EAGLES and win your Oscar.... Only Arnold would thank the Zanucks for producing the ceremony!!!

Hillary Swank.... hmmmm no real opinion. Denzel, "Do you feel lucky tonight" "I like my wife's dress!" hahahhaha.... Michael Clarke Duncan is the man!!!! HAYLEY JOEL OSMENT!!! GO BOY!!! GO!!! Angelina has a freaky boyfriend. 3 minutes. Chloe Sevigny, I love here... ever since TREE'S LOUNGE.... Wowl. I want her to win bad! Judi Dench. That's cool... the coverage of walking into the Oscar ceremony is cool. "That's kinda cool" I like this walking into the various other areas...... IT BEGINS...

I love watching the Oscars, though I hate the idea of the awards... very odd sensation.. God I hope Hayley wins! Charlize Theron is a vision. SALMA.... come to me! Chow Yun Fat.... uber cool. Burt Bacharach! Oh yeah baby! Here comes Bob Raimi!!! hahaha.... Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Russell Crowe will so be worshipped by alll of you. Documentaries? Too bad you aren't nominating the right ones. 2001 FOOTAGE! Billy Crystal doing the CONTACT like trip through the academy award/film history. Oh mi god, he's been sucked into THE GOLD RUSH! "I see Dead People" haha... actually, that... TAXI DRIVER.... eek.... Billy Crystal as Mrs Robinson is about the scariest thing I've ever seen. Crystal in Spatacus.... Crystal in GODFATHER... this is really really good. Watching Brando slapping crystal.... Regan puking on Crystal.... Billy Crystal and Kevin Spacey in the Psycho shower.... Casablanca..... Rebel Without A CAUSE.... FRENCH CONNECTION with the avoiding Stephen King..... E.T. WEST SIDE STORY..... here comes Russ Tamblyn.... hahahaha.... this is really really funny.... Hhahahah.... Billy as Sammy Davis jr.... hahaha... This is his best so far..... "That's why I had the LAPD plant me here!" Oh no.... here comes his Best Picture song.... Green Mile to Green Acres....Go Richard Farnsworth!!!! HEY! THe man that found the Oscars! GO HAYLEY!!! God, that boy has more talent than I can think possible. THE INSIDER song is great.... fucking great! Wow. WOW that was good. Russell is like so not smiling. Cider House Rules.... That song was so cool. Really classy Michael Caine homage. The AMERICAN BEAUTY song is... pretty good, but not too great. Ya know.... why does Billy Crystal have to make movies.... he should just do Award shows... Billy and Jack are having an affair.

Here come CHARLIE'S ANGELS... COSTUME DESIGN..... uhg... no Anna please.... GO SLEEPY HOLLOW....No to Ripley.... TITUS could win.....No to Topsy Turvy.... Oscar goes to.... BUUUUUOOOOOOO..... TOPSY TURVY.... fuck! Goddamn it.... TITUS and SLEEPY HOLLOW were robbed!

Wow... the Chevy Malibu can survive the impact of a shopping cart! Wow... I must buy that... Here comes Hayley.... what a great kid. Shirley Temple, Elizabeth Taylor, Natalie Wood, Mickey Rooney, the Mockinbird Scout kid, Ricky, What a great kid thing.... Regan! Winona, Damien... Bad seed, holy shit, the two screen thing is just too hard, how dare they show Anakin.... he's not in the same company with those other kids. Here come Mike Myers and Heather Graham (Moriarty's future wife)

BEST SOUND.... Green Mile, The Insider, GO MATRIX!!!, THE MUMMY, Well.... PHANTOM MENACE deserves it I feel...... Oscar goes to, YES YES YES.... In it's first head to head with TPM.... MATRIX WINS! Yeah baby, take that shit Lucas! Matrix 1, Star Wars 0

Best Make up....... Austin Powers 2, Bicentennial Man..... Life.... GO RICK BAKER!!! Topsy Turvy...ugh... and the Oscar Goes to.... FUCK!!! TOPSY TURVY.... what a bunch of fucking bullshit. Goddamn these assholes. Fuck that... Fuck that!

Winona Ryder is like so beautiful... she's doing the CIDER HOUSE RULES dedication for Best Picture. I like CIDER HOUSE RULES, but quite frankly it does not fucking deserve the nominations it has taken in... Michael Caine's.... I'd definately give one to Delroy Lindo, but he wasn't fucking nominated. I'd nominated BEING JOHN MALKOCICH, MAGNOLIA or THE STRAIGHT STORY.... OH... Here comes James Cobburn..

Here comes the Supporting Actress award...Tony Collette in THE SIXTH SENSE... she's wonderful, Angelina Jolie.... nonononono... do not win. You are beautiful but please don't win. This category never goes to the right people. Catherine Keener... Wonderful... go. Samantha Morton.... PLEASE WIN!!! YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL ENTRANCING AND STUNNING!!! God I love her in SWEET AND LOWDOWN... Please win! Chloe Sevigny... what a wonderful performance. DOn'T GO TO ANGEL.... FUCK!!! GODDAMNIT! WHAT THE FUCK! Man.... sigh. Alright alright.... whatever, it's going to be one of those years! shit. She is gorgeous, but man. Sigh.... I can't hate her, it's the category... it's always screwed... How did marisa tomei win all those years ago... It's constantly fucked.

i want to set one thing straight. I like TOPSY TURVY, however, I feel that it in no way deserves the two awards it has received thus far this evening. God, these talking animal commercials scare me. Alright, back to the show... Here comes Morgan Freeman. Man he looks like a million bucks. There's an interesting speech about the global community and the place of the movie theater in that town. The accuracy of film history. Here's a collage of the first 2 million years. Gertie to lostworld. HARRYHAUSEN! Yeah baby... Flintstone. Thief of bagdad, Intolerance, 10 Commandments, Samson and Deililah, Spartacus, Ben Hur, Cobert and taylor CLEOPATRA, CONAN, Excalibur, HOLY GRAIL, Crusades, Ivanhoe, Robin Hood, Doug Fairbanks and Errol Flynn, Lion in Winter, Henry the VIII, Shakespeare, Captain Blood, The buccanear, Last of the Mohicans, Mutiny on the Bounty... all versions, Napoleon... great movie that one, THE ALAMO, Amistad, Glory, THE GENERAL, Gone With The WSind, Too many westerss... They Died with their boots on, Dr Livingstone, Potempkin, Titanic, Lawerance, Paths of Glory, Viva Zapata, Spirit of St Louis, INHERIT THE WIND, TOM JOAD!!! Lou Gehrig... oh shit I'm crying. The Great Dictator, Caberet, Midway, Casablanca, Schndlers, Private Ryan, Longest day, Midway, Great escape, wow... this is alot, Evita, Mash, Grease, Hudsuckers, GUE... Yellow submarine, ya know... the first 1 mi oh shit, I lost my place..... what a great montage. WOW.... oh... oh oh oh... ending on the space baby is toooo perfect. Wow... me crying again. Wowl.

Live Action Short Films I always feel like such an idiot here... cause I've never seen any of these. And I always wish I had. MY MOTHER DREAMS THE SATAN'S DISCIPLES IN NEW YORK great title.

Here's BUZZ LIGHTYEAR AND WOODY.... MR AND MRS POTATO HEAD.... BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM.... Hey! They aren't showing clips..... They aren't showing clips..... Here comes Jenny. Oscar Goes to THE OLD MAN IN THE SEA.... Show a clip!!!! It's a fingerpaint animated film... my god that looks gorgeous.... and so does the film. Oh... alexander doesn't speak english, but you can see the happiness. I love foreigners when they win and can't speak English. Imagine if the world's language was Russian and how hard it'd be for you to accept., Man...

Angelica Huston to present THE INSIDER for Best Picture nomination. Great film.

I like that Einstein Pepsi spot. That Kyra Sedgwick spot during the OSCARS... man... can't you imagine that happening to... um... Charlize Theron. Here come LL COOL J and Vanessa Williams... First BEST SONG performance.... WHEN SHE LOVED ME from TOY STORY 2. Great set design... the small sqare of color amongst all the blackness... God I love this song. I love the impressionistic leaf painting in the background... and Sarah sings this so well. Oh.... here comes SAVE ME from MAGNOLIA, I also love this song.... a purple background with a seemingly moving palatte of formallly known as prince colored clouds. TWO Great songs thus far. Low key productions... focusing on the films, and I think this is how they are merely presentin gthe nominations. Very nice change. Here comes Phil Collins and Tarzan... Greenish background, jungle painting... I might be a classless music lover, but I really do dig this song, but I'd prefer if SON OF MAN had been nominated instead. This song doesn't really hold the emotional resonance of WHEN SHE LOVED ME, which I hope.... wins. If only Trey Parker's UNCLE FUCKA was nominated. Can't wait... it's coming up soon. What's going to happen. I hope they just sing UNCLE FUCKA to piss everyone else. UGH... MUSIC OF THE HEART! Piece of shit! Fucking die performers. Bluish background.... looks like swimming shadows of fish through panes of glass. Strange imagery for the song. I really dig the way they are doing these song nominations. SHIT SONG! Here come Matt and Trey's opus! Robin Williams.... Black tape over his mouth... OH YEAH!!! OH YEAH!!! THIS IS GREAT!!! WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN BOO.... say FUCK ROBIN! Say FUCK.... go on. He said Bitch anne murray. hahahahaha, YEAH... Scantly clad mountie women. OH YEAH! WIN!!!! If that doesn't win, the world sucks major cock! Please win! WIN WIN WIN WIN!!! Cher.... dressed as a grown up... hahaha... Oh shit... come on Trey! and the oscar goes to... FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! Phil Collins. GOD DAM IT!!! NO JUSTICE NO JUSTICE... I told you Moriarty!

Phil Collins is so cool, but damn I wanted to see what Trey would say and do. ARGH. Here are the three 'kids' from AMERICAN BEAUTY. Damn, Wes Bentley has a totally different look. DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT.... Again, there is noway to ever see these films. KING GIMP wins. Dude, that guy was spazzing out. He's happy as hell. Cool. Best title up for anything this year.

Uma Thurmann and Ethan Hawke... DOCUMENTARY FEATURE... the extraordinarly fucked category from every year. Go Wim... Go Wim.... Please give it to Wim. ONE DAY IN SEPTEMBER.... Alright, it's Munich Olympics... sigh. Should of figured, but GOD DANG IT!!! BUENA VISTA SOCIAL CLUB. Of course this does mean that this film will be seen. And Wim's has been seen. Sigh.

Judi Dench is coming out to present the Supporting Actor award. Come on Hayley. Michael Caine.... very strong performance. Very good, best thing besides Delroy Lindo in that film. Tom Cruise.... What a great role.... I'd love to see his whole speech on the awards. Michael Clarke Duncan.... I swear I'll cry if he wins, same as Hayley. Jude Law was great in Ripley... What a strong damn category. I am genuinely tense right now. Sigh. Michael Caine. Can't really gripe about that. He's great. But ... sigh. Go on Caine.... tell us why you are so fucking great. Oh shit.... i'm so fucking wimpy... I'm tearing up. Wow. OH SHIT... What a man! What a man. Caine is a god. I love this."have you any idea what supporting Oscar gets paid" What a fucking class act. Caine GOD... he's great. Caine is such a great winner. I'm sorry if I don't make any sense, but I love him. His wife is the girl that Danny falls for in THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING btw folks. Danny might have her in the film, but Caine has her for all time.

oh shit.... JANE FONDA... I haven't seen her in years. What a woman. She's just beautiful. Jane... please come back to film. We miss you. I have never seen one of these films, but my god I'm going to seek them out. Andrzej Wajda. I will educate myself about him. His films looked brilliant. Thank you Academy for highlighting him. I'm going to get the Austin Film Soceity to do a retrospect on his work. I want to see that stuff on the big screen. CANAL looked awesom.

Here comes Chow Yun Fat for Sound Effects Editing. FIGHT CLUB, THE MATRIX... go matrix.... Episode 1.... no no GO BEN BURTT... you are a god. THE MATRIX... wow. wow. Can't believe Emperor George has been shut out thus far. "So this is where the rabbit hole goes!" Great line.

Here comes my wife. Salma! Man, Salma presented the Scientific and Technical Awards. Salma stay! Read the phone book.

The AB KING momment of the eventing. Outstanding Visual Effectys... Go MATRIX... coolest effects work of the year. But you know... the effects work of STAR WARS is astounding. Hate it, love it... ya got to be amazed. STUART LITTLE is amazing character animation. 3 great effects films. Oscar Goes to... THE MATRIX. Wow. wow. Can't believe George and crew lost that. Wow.Great outfit John Geata. Clap clap Lorenzo... Man, I really don't like the forcing acceptance speeches to an early end. It's not classy.

Damn Diane Keaton is... odd looking tonight. AMERICAN BEAUTY... Has to win. The prediction thought thing was great. But now Burt is doing his tribute to the best song winners in history. Very cool... I can't wait to see this. That's the HIGH NOON piece. Cool oh shit, Garth Brooks doing the Midnight Cowboy song is just putting images and thoughts in my mind that I really don't need. NOBODY SINGS THAT SONG BUT DOROTHY!!! Ray Charles doing the Calamity Jane song... too cool. He is, the super coolest. THE MAN THAT GOT AWAY sung by... queen latifah... is that right. Wow... that's just weird, but great. I like that. I've got you under my skin, by Ray Charles... again... really good. wowowowowow.... ALL THE WAY from JOKER IS WILD.... perfect. ACK@@@@ Garth Brooks singing RAINDROPS just seems, perfect somehow. I'm afraid.... SHAFT.... oooooh yeah, ISAAC HAYES, oh yeah oh yeah... Fucking A.... super cool. Right there on that stage, Isaac Hayes surrounded by scantily clad women.... that's what it is all about. Oh yeah.... DEAR GOD, DON'T TORTURE US WITH A BAD STREISAND MEMORY. God, The Way We Were... sigh....OH GOD THAT SUCKS!! Garth Brooks singing WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR is like soooooooo wrong. Ugh I hate that. Only Jiminy can sing that. ALFIE, oh yeah.... this is great... I'm crying... great work... with the emotion of having Michael Caine win earlier.... Dianne Warwick singing it with Burt.... perfect. Oh god, wow... very cool. Over all, great job. This has got to be some night for Michael Caine. Really great job. Isaac Hayes.... baby... DUKE OF NEW YORK!!!

Angela Bassett presents THE SIXTH SENSE for Best Picture. God I love this movie. Same as the other nominees (except for CIDER HOUSE)

Antonio and Penelope. Man, what a handsome couple. Wow. GO Pedro!!! What an incredible movie. I haven't seen CARRAVAN. EAST-WEST is a very very good movie. UNDER THE SUN is a very very good movie folks. But this has to go to ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER. YES!!!!!! YESSSS!!!!!!!!! Finally one that I can be ecstatic about!!! YES!!!!!!! WAY TO GO PEDRO!!!!!!!! ZANUCK LET HIM SPEAK.... IT's the best moment of the evening.

Wow.... Charlize and Keanu.. can my screen contain such a void of talent that can wear clothes sooooo well. BEST ORIGINAL SCORE! Newman, Williams..... GO RED VIOLIN!!!! Red Violin is my favorite score of the year... go go go go.... YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! OHMYGOD!!!!! Dear god, I can't believe it. he won. YES!!! THis score is transitory and stunning. John Corigliano.... This score is another character that lays down on top of the great film. Oh my god. YES!!!! It won. YES!!!! You can write all the notes you want, but if someone doesn't play them like a GOD... you have nothing!!!" what a QUOTE! Yes. It was played like a GOD!

ED NORTON , he should play everything in every movie... with Fincher directing... right? hehehe... The Kevin Spacey... Marlon Brando bit. Oh no... It's the WHo died this year. I'm gonna cry. Sylvia sidney, Jim varney, Ernest Gold, Ruth Roman, Henry Jones great in the Bad seed, Robert Bresson, Desmond Llewelyn, Allan Carr, Mario Puzo, Rory Calhoun, Frank Tarloff, Mark Davis.... tinkerbell animator, Hedy Lamarr... oh god she's beautiful, Victor mature, Garson Kanin, Roger Vadim, Mabel King, OLIVER REED.... he's a god , ALBERT WHILOCK crying, Ian Bennen, Abraham Polonsky, Dirk Bogarde, Lila Kedrova, Edward Dmytryk taght my dad, Buddy Rogers, Madeline Kahn....... sigh, GEORGE C SCOTT really crying now, oh shit.... oh...... sniff.... God, I hate those, love those...

At this point, I'm thinking about the awards so far.... and I can't believe STAR WARS didn't get best special effects. To ignore that is to.... slap genius in the face. I can't believe it lost. MY GOD!!! The film's effects are the greatest acheivement in film effects history. I can't believe it lost.

SAM JACKSON what a complete bad ass... that suit rocks. My god he looks like some sort of cool GOD. Look at that outfit... what a badass.... When he says HEAVENLY GRACE.... Damn... He's presenting THE GREEN MILE, which I still want to win. I love the film. But I think AMERICAN BEAUTY will get it.

Julianne Moore and Russell Crowe, ART DIRECTION... his film GLADIATOR will be here next year.... ANNA AND THE KING.... no. THE CIDER HOUSE HOLLOW, fantastic..... TALENTED MR RIPLEY.... no..... TOPSY TURVY... please.... give it to SLEEPY HOLLOW and not TOpsy..... OSCAR GOES TO SLEEPY HOLLOW yes!!!! YES!!!!!! YES!!!!!! ALRIGHTY!!!! There ya go!!!! Oh yeah baby! Now.... why wasn't PHANTOM MENACE nominated? It at least deserved a nomination.... GREAT ART DIRECTION IN SLEEPY HOLLOW!!! WAY TO GO!!!!

Tommy Lee Jones.... Ashley Judd for FILM EDITING.... AMERICAN BEAUTY... Oh very nice format for showing how it was edited. I believe the MATRIX will win for this. MATRIX WON. that's 4. My god. I can't believe it's winning all of these. I knew it had this one, but the others I really thought were going to STARWARS... wow. Is it just me, or does the entire winning team of THE MATRIX seem to be zealots.... quoting lines, web addresses... What's happening. weird.

Jack Nicholson to present the Thalberg to Warren Beatty. Man, I'm just gonna be quiet and watch Nicholson. Hes too cool. Was it just me or did Arnold genuinely look in awe of Nicholson. That's great. Pacino talks, Annette Bening, Hoffman, Faye Dunaway, ... BONNIE AND CLYDE, SHAMPOO, HEAVEN CAN WAIT.... god I love this movie, REDS, hahahahaha.... ISHTAR...... wow, DICK TRACY... there was a production design film... BUGSY... I like that one alot.... I mean ALOT. LOVE AFFAIR, BULWORTH... WARREN BEATTY man... I wish he'd run for President. BEATTY is so good here. Great acceptance speech. He and Caine... great. Great....

Here comes BRAD PITT.... Best Cinematography...... Conrad Hall did phenom work for AMERICAN BEAUTY, LUBESKI has simply got to win.... AMAZINY WORK!!!!... Wow.... Ok, well American Beauty is a lovely movie, and Conrad's work was great. Conrad is simply one of the best cinematographers in history. All these films were great though. CHEER CHEER.... great work Conrad!!

Here comes Kevin Spacey... one of the coolest men around. Best Adapted Screenplay....hahaha, his joke of Annette crawling on stage... Great. No to CIDER HOUSE... GO ELECTION GO!!! WIN WIN WIN... The GREEN MILE, well you can win too! I'll like that. The INSIDER.... well, that can also win, oh... and Mr Ripley.... that can win too. Ok... so as long as they don't..... FUCK FUCK.... CIDER HOUSE RULES won. fuck fuck fuck. ACK!!!!!

Well, damn.... Ok... political win. Abortion Rights. Ok. I understand. Here's Mel Gibson to present for BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY.... This better damn go to ALAN BALL or CHARLIE KAUFMAN or I'm going to scream.... Or.... Paul Thomas Anderson. Or M Knight Shyamalan..... just so long as it isn't Mike Leigh. Please. And the award goes to.... YEES! Alan Ball. Good Show. Good Show. Really good work. I'm happy.

Oh no.... to Roberto... Here he is. BEST ACTRESS... This should be between and Annette and Hillary. Please... not to Meryl. Please. I like Hillary, but I want Annette to win. And the Oscar goes to... Hillary Swank. GOOD!@!! Yes!!!! Little film that could. Yes. Maaaaan, I so wish that Chloe had won too.

Gwyneth Paltrow presents for BEST ACTOR..... Russell Crowe was AMAZING in THE INSIDER. I have to say I'm rooting for him and Farnsworth. I most want to see Farnsworth win. His performance in this film is stunning. Now Sean Penn was great. Of course Spacey gave the most iconic film performance of the year... has the best scenes... and would be the 'coolest winner'. And Denzel was amazing in THE HURRICANE. This is the best category since Supporting actor. They are all winners. KEVIN SPACEY won. Now let's hear what he has to say. "This is the highlight of my day, I hope it is not all downhill from here." He dedicates the award to Jack Lemmon. GOD HE'S COOL AND SMART AND GREAT. Great. Choked up a bit.... me and himself.

STEVEN SPIELBERG, MR A.I.... GO SPIKE JONZE! It'll never happen, but it'd be sooooo cool if it did. Sam Mendes.... YUP... Sam won it. Great job Sam. What a fucking first film. Wow. Sam.... Can't wait to see what's next. Well... This pretty much means that AMERICAN BEAUTY has to win Picture. Right? Cool, he thanked Billy Wilder. Very very cool.

Here's CLINT: BEST PICTURE:... AMERICAN BEAUTY. That's it for me... I'm tired of typing. Overall... I'm very happy with the Oscars... Would have like TPM to win Effects... and if Topsy didn't win that one Sleepy Hollow award. I'm out of here.


Best Director- Sam Mendes, AMERICAN BEAUTY

Best Actor- Kevin Spacey, AMERICAN BEAUTY

Best Actress- Hillary Swank, BOYS DON'T CRY

Best Supporting Actor- Michael Caine, THE CIDER HOUSE RULES

Best Supporting Actress- Angelina Jolie, GIRL INTERRUPTED

Best Screenplay, Adapted-John Irving, THE CIDER HOUSE RULES

Best Screenplay, Original- Alan Ball, AMERICAN BEAUTY

Art Direction- SLEEPY HOLLOW

Cinematography- Conrad Hall, AMERICAN BEAUTY


Sound Effects Editing- THE MATRIX

Original Score - John Corigliano, THE RED VIOLIN

Original Song - "You'll Be In My Heart" Phil Collins


Documentary Feature - ONE DAY IN SEPTEMBER

Documentary Short - KING GIMP

Film Editing - THE MATRIX



Animated Short Film - OLD MAN AND THE SEA

Visual Effects - THE MATRIX


Annette Bening did not give birth during the Award ceremony!

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