Hey folks, Harry here with that filthy disgusting clean wench... Annette Kellerman. She's currently torturing Tom Joad with some sort of pet water escapade she's been waking up and taking notes from the night before's dream. Something about swimming through hundreds of other women's wet legs while the soothing sounds of PHISH play. She's weird that way. But this is her look at GLADIATOR. So all you babes, chicks and lovely ladies sit up... here's what one of you think about this.... 'alleged DUDE flick'
Hey all! It’s Annette again, finally submitting my long-overdue look at a film I know many of you are dying to see- GLADIATOR! Yes, I was one of the few geeks fortunate enough to see Gladiator in San Francisco with Harry back in February. Now, not many movies are worthy of a cross-country trek from Texas to California, and I’m pleased to report it was worth it times ten. GLADIATOR is not just a movie; it is a cinematic experience. The story and images explode onto the screen from scene one, never losing momentum, giving you just enough time to absorb its glory. Thanks to Ridley Scott’s genius, we are shown an incredibly convincing depiction of Roman life in a time when rulers wore gold leaves in their hair and men were fed to lions. Not surprising, the look of this film is magnificent. Buildings and structures barely standing now are resurrected by Scott and his talented team. Costumes, sets, effects- every aspect of the imagery of the film falls perfectly into place. Okay, okay you’re thinking,everything looks great, but is it a good story? I am even more excited to answer a big emphatic YES to that question! From the jaw-dropping initial battle scene through the eventual gladiator sequences, the plight of Russell Crowe’s character is never lost. There are no trite explanations, no dumbing of the dialogue to suit those who can’t follow a plot. The story is simple, the motives are clear, and the inevitable end is actually quite surprising. I’m always leery of big, bad films with non-existent stories, but I really believe GALDIATOR does not come near this category. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not perfection. There might be a teeny tiny hole here, and a twinge of unnecessary subplot there, but all in all, the entire feel of the story is solid gold.
The acting- let me begin by saying that one of my (albeit movie illiterate) friends who came to the screening did not believe that the hunk she saw up on the screen was the same dad-like guy in THE INSIDER. I could barely convince her! However, it took zero convincing to get her to admit that he was made to play this role. I could hardly believe it myself. Not that I didn’t already know that Russell Crowe is a very non-dad-like badass, but we’re talking about a Roman gladiator here. Any doubt I might have had diappeared in the very first scene. Crowe takes on the part as if he lived the character himself. Not a moment passes where you forget his struggle. Its imbedded in his eyes, his skin, his every move- man, I loved him in this! Brawn AND brains-yummy. Joaquin Phoenix gives a smart performance as our main villain here- and what a role. Phoenix perfectly captures the essence of a ruthless and immature young ruler without turning him into a cartoon. Once again Joaquin lends his charisma to a film, embellishing aspects of a role that might otherwise be ignored. The third standout performance in GLADIATOR is that of Oliver Reed. I HATE that he’s gone, but man am I glad he played this role before he left. With leathery dark skin and menacing eyes, Reed is what I will see now when I envision a master in the ancient Roman slave trade. Behind the callousness, though, you can tell the man has a story of his won. Oh, I hate to use the word perfect again-but he IS so perfect here! To see him strut his brutish stuff is sublime- to remember that it’s the last time…well, you’ll know what I mean when you see it.
Well everyone, sorry if I went on too long. All of this has been brewing for a month now, so what can I say? Don’t get snobbish about GLADIATOR when we all are inevitably assaulted by the ad campaign the film is sure to merit as summer nears…its definitely going to be a biggie. Just go to the theater to see a dazzling epic and a kickass flick! Until next time, Annette.
