THE ROAD TO EL DORADO review

Have you ever wondered what THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING would look like if it had been co-directed by Dennis Hopper (circa Easy Rider) and John Huston in a wacked out style starring Bing Crosby and Bob Hope as Peachy and Danny.... oh and Elton John as Rudyard Kipling... and set in the world of the Mayans?

Well, I hadn’t either, but I’ve just seen the most tripped out weird ass bizarre animated flick that I think I’ve ever seen.

If, after THE PRINCE OF EGYPT you wanted to go as far into wacky as you went into serious... you would make THE ROAD TO EL DORADO.

The film is silly, funny, irreverent, insane, funny, odd, uneven, funny and STRANGE. But mostly funny.... but weird and strange and odd.

The first half of the film plays Tulio and Miguel as possibly having a strange weird erotic happy gay like relationship... But no more so than the relationship that Hope and Crosby had in ROAD TO ZANZIBAR or ROAD TO BALI... with the possible exception of the nude joyful bathing/swimming scene... Which I took as being a pre-bathing suit period of existence. BUT the folks next to me felt was a wink wink nudge nudge... Hiding the salami moment. I think they were on crack, but hey... That’s just me.

Suddenly though, they end up in EL DORADO where everyone speaks the same language and there is no real... period of adjustment or something.

PERSONALLY, I think it would have been really cool to have them arrive, not speak the language, be treated like gods... Sort of ‘go along with it’... eat some fungus (aka SHROOMS ) and suddenly be able to understand everything. But that would PROBABLY be inappropriate to mainstream audiences.... ahem.

Anyway... when they show up at El Dorado, they bump into Tzekel-Kan... a high priest played by Armand Assante... to perfection I might add, who is a bloodthirsty... zealot wanting to eradicate ‘the impurities’ and wash the city in the blood of the infidels. HE ROCKS! His character design, movement, powers and stuff (technical film expert term there folks!) is just cool.

Then you have Chel, the hot Latino babe that wants to either cheat, steal or fuck her way out of El Dorado. Rosie Perez gives her this... almost Mae West-y with a dash of Lili Von Shtupp with a street tough New Jersey edge.

If that seems inappropriate... Well... in a screwball comedy where there are Armadillo’s going through hoops and being passed off as balls, and there’s a greedy apple-obsessed horse... At first... It seems wildly out of place, but with all the other weird stuff... It just kinda works.

The key to the film though are Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh. There’s a real charisma here between them, and the character that Branagh has... as a Wide Eyed Adventurer that is starved for new experiences, tastes and cultures is just... breathtaking. There’s a cockiness and brashness to them that is just wonderful. I’m sure quite a bit of this goes to Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio for delivering the characters on the page, then there was James Baxter and David Brewster as the supervising Animators on the two, and lastly the utter charm and timber of the voices from Branagh and Kline.

HOWEVER, it is not all roses.

Elton John’s songs felt like I was living in a psychedelic elevator listening to a bizarre hybrid of Ricky Martin and Michael Boltan as scored by Kenny G. Soulless, charmless and utterly dreadful... the songs fall as limp as the melodies from THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME. However... I hold this film HAD to have songs... it’s a Road to movie... It’s in the manual. But these songs.... UUUUUGHHH!

Luckily the humor and energy that the animators throw into every moment take you through the earload of blah, till the elevator stops on the floor and it’s time for the film to again Accelerate.

The film is breathless and does not slow down. It’s filled with color and motion... There’s blood, mild nudity and animated male asses.

I love how Cortez is dipicted and the Gregorian Chant style soundtrack to him is wonderful.

This was the silly film that Dreamworks needed to get out of their system... before moving forward with the epic SPIRIT.

Check the film out at a matinee, watch it with an audience filled with kids... it’s that type of movie. AND.... WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T DO DRUGS. They are BAD. And you don’t need them with this movie.

El Cosmico... This means YOU! No Cacti for you!